A/N: Okay, before we begin, I cannot stress enough that I can't handle seriousness all the time, so, since this chapter is more on the serious side I added some serious silly. The next chapter of A Rogue's Discretion is pretty much going to be all serious-business and plot reveals and stuff, so I had to even in out. Those who call me T.I.M left an amazingly funny review (again) and I had to throw the joke in here. Oh, and the LotR reference in the last chapter was Isabela's "I ain't droppin' no eaves, ser" line. (Samwise said it at the beginning of Fellowship.)
The dilapidated mansion had been vacant for 4 days, well, vacant of it's owner anyhow. Hawke had spent all of her time there, she refused to leave. She refused to go home. Orana had brought her a change of clothes, brought her food, and messages from her other companions. She lived in that one, tiny, entry room. No one dared question her about it, as Aveline had so ingeniously put, Hawke was a cow. A frazzled, sickly looking cow that had forced itself to stay awake well past the point of exhaustion, waiting. It would be when she finally collapsed that he finally showed up. She had pulled a tiny straw mattress in to sleep on, and when he saw her there, hair a mess and breathing ragged, perhaps in the midst of a nightmare, she looked, scared. Fragile. Vulnerable. Not like Hawke. This wasn't Hawke, but, at the same time, it undoubtedly was. This was the Hawke that always lay dormant deep beneath the Hawke everyone knew. She was always afraid, terrified even, that she would screw something up again, lose someone else. She was always tired. Always a mess. A strong, beautiful mess.
So was he. Tired. Messy. Confused. His days away had done nothing to clear his mind. The first two days were spent in indescribable anger. The third, all he could do was think about Hawke, about how he had failed her by running away. Her words resounded in his head, "You aren't weak, Fenris, don't start now." But he was, without her that's exactly what he was. She had made him useless. When he looked down at her though, laying there, waiting for him, he finally saw it. Fenris saw what his absence did to her, the same thing her absence did to him. Weakness. They made each other strong, but apart, they destroyed each other. So in the dull silence of his own thoughts Fenris removed his armor, careful not to wake her, though it was impossible with her deep sleep, and laid beside her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and smelled her hair again. It wasn't the same, it's normally sweet, earthen scent was laced with worry, but he loved it nonetheless.
"Did you hear that?" An ever diligent Hawke asked her troupe.
"Hear what?" Merril replied.
"That!" Hawke spoke in a hushed tone.
"That what?" Merril asked, frustrated.
"It's an ambush, obviously." Isabela stated as they walked, "Right up in this clearing they'll be all over the place. Good spot though, Hawke."
Merril stopped. "Should we really keep going then, Hawke?"
"Yes. We do not run from our enemies. If I hear correctly there are not many."
"Oh okay, Hawke, I trust you." Merril nodded.
"Bianca's ready." Varric added.
And Isabela was right, the moment they stepped into the clearing they were on all sides. "Halt! You are in possession of stolen property!"
"Maker, if that bitch wants her shoes back this badly, I'll just give them to you!" Isabela called.
"Shut up! We are here for the slave!" The man called from his vantage point.
"I am no slave!" Fenris roared as the battle began...
And ended just as quickly. Isabela stood by Merril and Varric, "What do you think those two are gonna do to that poor sap?"
"I hope Fenris does that heart-ripping thing, but only after Hawke beats his face against that big rock." Varric said with no hesitation, "The whole 'slamming people's heads into walls' is kind of her thing. I asked her about it once, she says 'my fist hits a very limited area, the wall, on the other hand, does not'." He even mocked Hawke's Fereldan accent and then laughed at the memory.
"She said that?" Merril questioned in some sort of horror.
"Don't act so surprised, Kitten, we do kill people for a living after all." Isabela added, Merril nodding meekly in reply. "Oh! There he goes!" She called as Fenris did the 'heart-ripping thing'.
Fenris stood in fuming anger, the heat of it coming off of him in near visible waves, but instead of voicing his anger, Hawke, rather angry herself, asked Isabela, "Do you know how to track where these men came from? We have a blood mage magister's apprentice to hunt, and all we know is that she's somewhere on the Coast."
"I- No, Hawke, I have no fucking clue how to do that. Do I look like a Dalish tracker to you?"
"I could do it." Merril spouted.
"A blood mage to track a blood mage? No." Fenris said, "You are not a tracker, you couldn't find your own head if it wasn't attached to your neck."
"I'm going to pretend like you're not being mean to me, Fenris, especially since I can help you." Merril said with an unusual tone of irritation.
"How, Merril?" Hawke asked.
"I'm not a tracker, but these men all smell like really strong blood magic. I can follow it back." She said enthusiastically.
"You can smell blood magic?" A suspicious Fenris asked.
"Of course I can! I'm a mage, remember?"
"Do not remind me. Just walk."
"You're welcome, Fenris."
"I did not thank you, you have yet to do anything useful."
The walk was long, and it reminded Hawke of walking a puppy who didn't know quite what to do with itself. Merril would stop, look, stop, look, over and over and over again, but eventually, much to everyone's surprise, she did get there. It was just a cave like any other cave, but Merril was adamant that that's where they'd find 'Hadriana'.
"You should go home now. Find Aveline and tell her what all the bodies are doing so close to the city." Hawke told her.
"Do you not need my help anymore? I think I could be very useful in there."
"I do need your help, that's why I'm asking you to go get Aveline."
"Oh! Okay! I get it! I'll go!" And Merril scampered off.
Hawke let out an audible sigh as Fenris said, "Finally."
"Why do you think I sent her away?" Hawke asked rhetorically.
"Wait, it wasn't to go get Aveline?" Isabela asked, not getting the rhetorical part.
"No. She'll get distracted and we'll be back in the city before she gets around to it. I sent her back because we don't need more uncontrollable blood magic in there." Hawke explained, Fenris snorted in an odd sort of approval as they stepped into the cave.
It wasn't until after their first immediate battle that the atmosphere hit them. The whole place smelled like decay and stagnant blood. The walls crumbled in on themselves at the corners. It was an eerie hue of gold and red, and the coat of blood and flesh on the floor made every other step a sickening squelch. "We should finish up here as fast as we can." Isabela pointed out.
No one else spoke. The fighting was done in silence, each slaver systematically destroyed by the execution squad that was Hawke and Fenris, the rogues had almost no part in these battles. It was rage that drove them both on, it boiled in their veins, a mutual hatred that at it's core stemmed from fear. Fenris feared being enslaved again and Hawke feared for Fenris, though neither would ever state it. Yes, it was silent, until they found a lone survivor.
"Are, are you my master now?" The wide-eyed elven woman asked, unsure of which warrior to direct her question to.
"No." They answered simultaneously, but only Fenris continued, "What happened here? Are you hurt?" He displayed a rare compassion, the well-being of others was usually left for Hawke to tend to.
"I- I'm fine, it's just, Mistress she, she's scared of something, she just started killing everyone! She killed my Papa. Everything was fine, I don't understand what, I don't know what happened." The woman stuttered on her words, on the verge of tears.
"Calm yourself." Hawke spoke, "Do you need a home?" Fenris eyed Hawke with unusual suspicion.
"I can cook, I can clean, I can do anything you need me to do, I'm good, I swear." The woman seemed to plead with Hawke.
"But I didn't know you were in the market for a slave." Fenris's rage unjustly turned on Hawke.
"I'm not." She dismissed him and turned back to the other elf, "The only person you need to clean up after is yourself. What is your name?"
"Orana, my name is Orana, Mistress."
"No, do not call me that, my name is Hawke."
"Is is appropriate to call you by your name?"
"Yes, because you are not a slave." Hawke stated, "Go to Kirkwall, ask any member of the guard where the Amell estate is, tell Bodahn that I sent you."
"I, yes! Thank you, thank you!" Orana scampered away much like Merril had, maybe it was an elf thing.
"That was far beyond what you needed to do, I am sorry I doubted you." Fenris hung his head.
Hawke's more serious side, which was most of her, kicked back into gear, "Do not waste your time with sorry yet, there is still work to do."
"Right." Fenris nodded and they delved deeper into the slaver den.
The ratio of corpses to living beings changed drastically as they moved further in, less and less enemies fought against them. Not that it mattered of course, they were all dead when the team was through with them. The last room approached, and they knew it because the hum of magic called to them from the other side of the door. "I think I can smell that blood magic Daisy was talking about." A silent Varric finally spoke.
"I as well." Hawke agreed.
"Let us go." Fenris said.
The room Hadriana had holed herself up in was a far more gruesome scene than any other. Half-living corpses clung to life by the walls, some missing limbs, one particularly bad one without even a head. They all leaked some sort of fluid from varied orifices, they twitched, they breathed, waiting for their master to call them to act. Their eyes slowly rotting out of their heads, their tongues lolling out of their mouths. Isabela gagged at the sight, but the other three held to their iron stomachs. The air was thick, and the smell was awful, a mix of rotting corpses and the stench of corrosive magics. As much as she hated slavers, no one deserved this. They deserved death, yes, but these were abominations, more vile than any mage-demon could ever be. These used to be people, they were not tainted with the flesh of demons, all that remained of them was their own skin and meat and bones. Then Hawke looked closer, and she realized that most of these affronts to nature were not slavers, but the slaves themselves. Hawke had seen darkspawn, Hawke had seen desperation that led people to terrible things, but this, this was the face of true evil and she would never forget it for as long as she lived.
"Ah, Fenris, I've been waiting." A dreadful looking woman that could only be Hadriana spoke from her strategic position on the other side of the room.
"Are you ready to die, Hadriana?" He yelled across the room at her, shaking his fist.
She laughed, her laughter echoed through the room and the sound of it seemed to activate her undead army. They shambled to their feet, bones cracked under the pressure of disfigured bodies, parts in the wrong places, but they just stood. They did not attack. They waited.
"You have a chance to give in, no one else has to die." She smiled wide from across the room, the stretch threatening to slice her face in two, if only they were that lucky. "No, you won't do that, you're too stubborn."
Hawke took the time of their banter to pool her stamina, to call on her Templar strength, and Hadriana could sense it, as she laughed again, "You really think a renegade Templar can stop me? Not even five Templars could kill this magic, yet alone someone that is quite obviously not a part of the Order. What company you keep, my pet."
"Maker, can we just kill her?" Isabela asked under her breath.
"No, when fighting something like this, you can't risk making the first move, you never know what these tricky bastards have up their robe-y sleeves." Varric answered her.
"The dwarf is smart, at least." Hadriana commented, "So, what will it be, charge me or wait for your Templar guardian here to kill herself trying to muster up the strength to stop me?"
"Hawke?" Fenris asked, never taking his eyes off Hadriana.
It was Hadriana's pride, and ignorance, that would be her undoing. Hawke was not fueled by lyrium just yet, it was a long process to make it and there had not been time. It was a common misconception that Templars needed lyrium for their talents to be the most effective, it simply made using them easier, less taxing, and in all actuality, it made them less effective. If a Templar could pull off a talent without any aid but that of their own mind, it would much more potent. Luckily for Hawke, an area cleanse was child's play, it just took time, time Hadriana was willingly giving her. Holy Fire was the only thing that could really kill her.
"I'm ready, are you ready?" Hawke asked, concentrating.
"Yes." Fenris growled.
It happened so fast that Hadriana had no chance to react, she did not understand the kind of strength Hawke possessed. Fear was a powerful motivator, the only one was stronger was love, and fear for the one she loved, well, that made Hawke unstoppable. Hawke raised her hands and released such a powerful blast of energy that Hadriana was flung into the wall behind her, Fenris's speed allowed him to have her by the neck before she could even slide to the floor, and the corpses? They toppled to the ground, finally at rest, but so did Hawke.
She knew that she wasn't dead. She knew this feeling. She knew this sweet, drowsy haze. It was only a matter of time before she'd wake up. This was only a nap, only a brief dream, a chance to rest before she had to return. She wondered if this was what the Fade was like, and then she recalled that yes, it was. Was she closer to death than she thought? Her moments of unconsciousness were never this vivid. She never really saw things. She didn't ever dream like this. Her dreams were always just that, dreams, but this was exactly like time she had gone in after Feynriel.
What was it that Merril said about paths in the Fade? Don't take them? Take them? That one looks awfully pretty, and if Fenris is telling me to come with him, I have to. I'd do anything for him. What if I want to go that way though? What if I want to go back? The path back is dark, but I feel like it's a better choice. No, I can't argue with Fenris, I-
Hawke!
Was that Varric? It sounded like Varric.
Hawke!
Isabela too? This is the last place I need to her to be, I can't even have privacy in my own dreams! I'll kill her, I'm a bird of prey, I always go for the kill. I wish I had something to block this light from my eyes. Wait, what did I just say? That's ridiculous, I'm not a bird. Hey, stop screaming! It's not nice! Okay, as long as you're only going to shriek once.
Wait, Fenris, why are you running at me? Oh, are we gonna have amazing sex again where you act like you own me? You don't own me, no one owns me, okay, maybe you do, but only a little. Or a lot. Or totally.
Hawke! The apparition of Fenris called to her. Oh Maker, am I narrating things like Varric now? Okay, Fenris, I get it, we're running, just don't hold on to my arm so tight...
Hadriana shrieked as she died, despite Fenris's promise to let her live for her information. A sister? He would process that later, now he needed to help Hawke. He heard Varric and Isabela yelling at her, he rushed to her side and cradled her limp body, shaking her by the arm. "Hawke!" He called, "Hawke, wake up! I will not lose you!"
She coughed, once, twice, "I can't run any faster." She muttered as her eyes flickered open.
"What did you say, Hawke?" Varric asked over Fenris's shoulder.
"I said, I can't run any-" Fenris cut her off with a crushing kiss, holding on to her almost too tightly.
"See, I knew we were going to do the whole crazy dominate sex thing again. It's my favorite." Hawke said after they broke apart, seemingly unaware that anyone else was there. Fenris blushed furiously.
Isabela and Varric broke out in a raucous laughter, "Oh, I'll bet it is, Hawke!" said Isabela.
"Oh shit, they're actually here." Hawke swore as she propped herself up, slowly standing with Fenris's help.
"That must have been some blackout, Hawke." Varric assumed, "You never wake up talking like that."
"Oh shush, Varric." Hawke said as she regained her own footing.
"You're amazing, Hawke, I don't know how you managed to pull that off. This is going to be the greatest chapter yet. I can see it now:
'Something's lurking in the dark, under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart. You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it. You start to freeze, as horror looks you right between the eyes, you're paralyzed. And then Hawke kills all of them.'
That sounds like it could be famous, right?" Varric went off on his mini-rant.
"Varric, there was no moonlight, and who are you talking about?" Hawke questioned, leaning on Fenris, but so distracted by Varric's thrilling storytelling that she didn't see his demeanor rapidly changing.
"Eh, that's how I'm gonna tell it. People like to be in stories, Hawke, it's my listeners, obviously."
"Oh, yes, obviously." Hawke sarcastically agreed.
"Hawke, are you alright?" Fenris asked.
She looked up at him and smiled, "I am now, bit of a scare, but I'm fine, as always, are you-" Hawke finally noticed his sudden change, "are you alright? What did Hadriana say?"
"I, I have a sister." He frowned and cast his gaze to the ground. "This doesn't feel like revenge, it feels, worse. I don't trust her, she seemed surprisingly honest though."
"Then we look into it. It's either true, a trap, or both." That was Hawke's simple solution, "Hadriana is dead, it doesn't need to feel like anything."
"You don't get it Hawke! It's not that simple! Not everything is as black-and-white as you seem to think it is!" Fenris snapped at her, in fact, he was downright yelling. Hawke hadn't said anything wrong, he was just on edge. Varric and Isabela understood that, but they couldn't help but give him that disapproving look. Hawke understood as well, which is why she didn't get angry with him, but the damage that came with Varric and Isabela's 'looks' had already been done, and in truth though, he was looking for any excuse to leave, to get away. "I'm going, I need to be alone."
"When you will be home?" Hawke asked, concerned.
"I don't know."
They both had slept for what must have been a whole day. Fenris awoke first, but remained with Hawke, still clinging to her. She had slept peacefully, unlike she had expected. She thought she would toss and turn, not having him there to hold her down, but it was not so. Hawke had almost forgotten entirely that he had left in the first place when she realized he was actually there.
She twisted abruptly to face him, and they stared at each other, not knowing what to say. So Hawke just buried herself in his arms, her face against his neck. They held each other, though it may have looked like Fenris was doing all the holding, that just wasn't the case. It took Fenris a moment to notice that the slow shrug of her shoulders wasn't just labored breathing, he couldn't place it until he heard the tiniest whimper come from his warrior queen. Hawke, the stoic, indifferent, indomitable Hawke, was crying.
In all the time they had been together, no matter what the situation, Hawke never cried. Whether or not she did so in private was beyond him, but either way, this was monumental. She didn't cry like girls cry, she cried slow and soft and deep, she didn't wail or hyperventilate. "Hawke..." Fenris rubbed her back, "I'm sorry."
Hawke pulled back and looked at him, her eyes bloodshot and silent tears stained her cheeks, cutting through the dirt that had accumulated in the days he had been gone. "Don't you ever do that to me again." She commanded in a voice far lower than she usually carried.
"Never." Fenris agreed.
"You know, Fenris, you are- you are just-" Hawke searched for the right words, "You have made me so weak, but so strong, in a way I've never been."
Fenris chuckled weakly, "I was just thinking the same about you."
All was mended again, they laid there like that on the tiny, straw mattress for an hour before they finally got up and went to the estate. They drew their bath together and wordlessly scrubbed the grime of prior days off of one another. It wasn't until they were redressing that Fenris spoke, "This two homes thing, it's not working. We need to choose, I'm not staying anywhere away from you."
"I agree." Hawke had been thinking about it for some time, and already had a solution, like she did for everything. It was just that this had to be Fenris's decision, to officially live together, although they pretty much did already. "We should stay at your mansion. There are now three people here that are not me, I think they would appreciate a more permanent arrangement."
Fenris almost didn't understand what she was saying, "You know they can't pay for it, right? Would you really just give up your family home so easily?"
"I know, I planned on giving it to them. I am not sentimental about a home, it is just materials, that was my mother's job. If I sell the things in here that I don't need, or that you already have, I believe we can actually buy the mansion. We wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore."
"You thought this out ahead of time, didn't you?" Fenris asked with a sly smirk.
"Of course I did, I think of everything." Hawke smiled with mock pride.
"Then it's settled, we'd better go tell your housekeepers that they now own the house."
"I'm sure they'll be thrilled." Hawke said as Fenris kissed her forehead.
A/N: Did you guys catch that MAJOR reference in there? About Varric's thrilling storytelling? If you don't get it (which isn't a bad thing) Google it and you'll get it immediately. I would really love to know what everyone's favorite chapter has been! (If I know what you like most, I can make the rest of them better!) I only have two more chapters planned, and maybe one more silly one, so if there's anything in particular you wanna see, tell me!