A/N: Thought I'd give you a little heads up before I continue with this most awesome latest chapter: Pretty much every character in this Fic reaches their full potential for eeeeeevil. Like, everyone. So don't get too worried if one of the characters starts acting absolutely terrible, there's always a good reason for it, even if its not clear at first. After all, I'm trying to keep everybody in character as much as is humanly possible for this Fic, to keep the realism levels at their highest. That being said, I won't detain you any longer. Here it is!!!
Chapter 3: "I Think, I Know"
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Matt wouldn't have been able to visit Near even if he hadn't been instructed not to, because Near was moved to the closest hospital before dinner time. No big fuss was made out of it; it wasn't even treated as an important occurrence; after about an two hours the fat infirmary lady stuck her head round the door, decided that he probably had a broken rib, and had him carted off to the hospital.
Now he lay alone in a pale yellow room of beeping monitors, mildly stoned on morphine. He amused himself by tilting his head at a certain angle, which allowed him to hallucinate a small line of ants crawling up the side of the wall, as he hovered between sleep and consciousness. He had overheard some of the doctors conversing about just what kind of condition he was in, but at the present he couldn't really remember what they had said. Just something about broken ribs and internal bleeding.
As of yet, no one had asked him how he had come by his injuries. In his numb state he vaguely speculated that perhaps Roger had paid them not to ask questions about the boy who did not legally exist. It didn't really concern him very much. Nothing much could make him concerned at the moment.
Then all of a sudden Roger entered the room, an annoyed look on his face.
"Hello, um...Near." he said, as if he was having trouble remembering the boy's name. That didn't make any sense, Near thought vaguely. He had been in the number one spot for as long as he had been at the orphanage. Why would Roger have forgotten his name all of a sudden? Roger carried a black laptop satchel under his shoulder. "I have been instructed to provide you with this..." he paused, setting the bag on the beside table and opening it. "To keep you... intellectually stimulated? ...during your stay here. Which it turns out, may be quite a while as ..."
Near drifted to sleep as Roger's voice droned on in the background. That night he dreamed of Roger, Mello, Matt and the Infirmary Lady watching on impassively as he lay burning, screaming for help.
xXx
"Near?"
"...Hnn?" Near pulled himself upright, gasping as more pain shot through his chest. One effect it did have on him was that now he was fully awake, if still a little foggy from the painkillers. He looked around the room for a moment, trying to work out where the strange voice had come from. He had almost decided he had again been hallucinating when his eyes landed on a black laptop sitting on his beside table. On its screen a large, Gothic "L" was emblazoned; an image Near remembered well. "Oh. It's you."
On the outside, Near was uninterested by the famous detective's presence but inside he couldn't help but be intrigued.. Why was L taking an interest in him now? What was the great detective's agenda in speaking directly with him? Near had gotten over the thrill of being in the presence of a world-wide legend quite quickly, the last time they had come into contact. It didn't matter to him any more.
"How are you feeling?" the computer's smooth-as-water voice inquired. It was a voice that always struck Near as what electricity should sound like.
"Is morphine supposed to make you hallucinate?" Near didn't answer the question, but instead supplied one of his own. The L computer didn't skip a beat, seeming to be quite comfortable in skipping the pleasantries.
"Well, morphine is an opiate, with essentially the same active ingredient as heroin. However it shouldn't be causing hallucinations; unusual dreams perhaps, but not outright hallucinations. Not unless it was administered carelessly in much too large a dosage at the start. Are you saying you've been experiencing hallucinations?"
Administered carelessly. Somehow Near couldn't really find it in himself to be surprised.
"Opiate... As in opium? As in the Opium Wars between Great Britain and China where Britain was smuggling opium into China in order to balance their purchases for tea, but then China reinforced it's prohibitions by destroying a whole bunch of opium that they had confiscated at Canton,-"
"You mean Guangzhou?" L offered. A small, curious smile rose to Near's lips at the unspoken challenge.
"Exactly. Guangzhou, the romanisation of which came probably from the Portuguese 'Cantao'," I'm still right. "But that's not important. What's important is that the destruction of the opium sparked a short, intense war that only ended with the treaty of... um-"
"Nanjing."
"Right." Near smiled a little in defeat. L had still beaten him, but he didn't mind. It was L, after all, and the intellectual exposition had served its purpose- distracting him from the stabbing pain in his chest for a little while. After a moment of silence he spoke again. "We won that one."
"You consider yourself on the side of the Britons?" the machine purred. L's soft question confused Near.
"Well I live in Great Britain-"
"An Italian man might live in Australia. A Russian might live in Japan."
"That's true I guess... I don't know if I was born here or not. But still, It's the only country I have ever known, so if I belong anywhere, it must be here."
"There's no written rule that says one must belong to some place at all."
"You don't feel you belong anywhere?" Near inferred.
"I prefer to feel that when I am in a place; I do not belong to it but rather, it belongs to me."
The concept was new to Near and he thought it over carefully, finding he liked the idea of it. He lay back on his pile of pillows breathing shallowly; not too deep or it would hurt too much.
"You should practise taking deep breaths." L remarked, and Near cocked his head. "It is important to keep your lungs healthy while your rib heals." L said, by way of explanation. Something about the tone sparked Near's curiosity, and he looked around the room, his eyes eventually falling upon a small, discreet camera above the small window.
"Found you." Near observed.
"Well done." The computer replied. There was something of a smile in it's tone. Then, after a short silence Near spoke again;
"L?" the word was soft and hesitant.
"Yes?"
"What are you doing here?"
"...Conversing with you-"
"Why, L?" For a split second Near's unaffected mask fell away and miles away, sitting in a hotel armchair, L got a glimpse at the confused, frightened and hurt boy inside. Emotions he knew too well. Back in the hospital, a sound like a sigh came from the computer.
"...Because... I, like you... am... surrounded by people at present who do not... understand me. Who do not... intellectually equal myself. Some of which who intensely dislike me..." Mello's face, distorted with anger and hatred sprang unbidden to Near's mind, and he bit his lip, hard.
"One of whom, in fact, I believe wants to kill me," L continued, "by means, I have recently learnt, of a supernatural nature," Near recalled the peculiar Kira case that had been all over the news. So it had been supernatural after all? An uneasy feeling sowed itself into the pit of his stomach.
"For which, it appears, there is no defence. So I suppose... well I suppose I just needed someone to... talk... to..." L finished awkwardly. The statement caught Near completely off-guard. Still, L's quiet confession struck something in Near, and he smiled an odd little smile.
"And you chose me?" he asked quietly, secretly pleased.
"I suppose I did." L replied.
"How come?"
"I... had no one else to choose... Though now I am curious. Would you have chosen me?"
Near thought about it for a while. Who else was there? First Mello came to mind, but he threw away that thought immediately. What ever Mello had been to him before, he was entirely something else now. What that was Near didn't really know, and didn't really want to dwell on. Then he thought of Matt, but Matt had never really listened to him, he had always just talked.
He had never really been that close with anyone else, Linda only ever said the odd hello and Roger... Well he wasn't sure about Roger at all any more... everything had changed overnight...
"Yes." he finally concluded, quietly. "I don't think I have anyone else to choose from either, any more." sadly. A few quiet footsteps floated in from the hallway.
"Your medication." stated L, shortly. "I will have to be going now, as well. I look forward to speaking with you again soon."
"L, don't-"
"Goodbye Near."
Click.
"...go?" The screen was black. Near sighed, and glared at the Nurse who was backing through the door, carrying a trolley of many clear and coloured liquids.
xXx
L chewed his thumb in thought, staring at the blank screen. Over all, the conversation had gone well, although the end of it hadn't gone quite according to plan. Still-
"Your cake, L." Watari solemnly set the china plate down on the table in front of L.
"Thank you Watari." The old man hesitated, then stiffly turned away. "Watari?"
"..."
"What is it that you want to confront me about?"
There was another short silence in the room as the old man stopped where he stood, organising his thoughts.
"I believe ...I think I know what you are attempting to do with the boy now, L." Watari declared. L span around in his chair, his cake resting on his knee. He looked at his guardian with blank, inky eyes.
"Well, let's hear it then." L dead-panned, taking a bite of cake.
"By indirectly abusing, isolating, neglecting and humiliating the boy you intend to create within him a mindset of mistrust. In time, he will begin to never accept anything at face value, he will always second guess, will always be suspicious of everyone around him.
"He will not be able to form proper relationships with anyone, but he will not want to. He will emotionally withdraw from every situation he is put in, from the world entirely. Look at everything in a purely objective and logical light." Tears began forming in the old man's eyes. What he was saying was all so heart-breakingly familiar. "L, this is child abuse, you cannot do it, it is against the law-."
"I am the law, Watari."
"L, this is absolutely the wrong course of action to-"
"That it certainly is."
"..."
"I hate every single second of it and don't think that I don't." Watari was taken aback, speechless at L's sudden anger. "But I know that it is also the only course of action to take."
"L, be reasonable, there is surely another way-"
Smash.
"I know no other way, Watari, if I did, I would be utilising it, but as it is there is simply no time left to think of one, alright?!" The china plate lay to the floor in a thousand pieces.
L's voice became low and deadly. "I might die tomorrow, Watari. In fact, I have every reason to suspect that I will. And then that- abomination would be on the loose and there would be no one to stand against him! All the so-called forces of justice around the world would fold like the cowards they are without anyone to pin their hopes and blame their shortcomings on. Can you imagine thekind of world that that would create? Do you understand why I am doing this now? He must not go unopposed. There has to be a-"
"Backup?" Watari's voice was cold, and L's eyes hardened.
"That was your mistake old man, not mine." He turned back to the blank computer screen, hitting a button, bringing up the video footage of investigator Ukita dying of a heart attack to analyse once more. Watari closed his eyes.
"L, I am sorry, I did not mean-"
"Yes you did."
Watari gazed at the raven haired man, whom he often still saw as a child. A frightened child, lying, bleeding on a hospital bed. Now he sat in a hotel, watching one of his team die over and over again on the flickering monitor. More frightened than he had ever been before. "...I am so sorry."
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A/N: Which brings us to the end of another chapter!!! Hopefully that cleared some stuff up for you, and everything makes sense now, though don't fret if not EVERYTHING makes sense yet, because there is more on the way! In other news, are you proud of me that I managed to get in a Beyond reference? *giggles* (And is it just me or does every chapter seem to end with Watari?)
Fun fact: Turns out if the dosage of morphine begins too high it can cause hallucinations. Who knew?
Please, don't be shy! Let me know what you think!
Speaking of which, I'd like to also give a big thankyou to ~Chrysus, ~marshMello6170 and of course Suzette for their reviews. You guys rock! ;) See ya!
~CANDY