I have some terrible news. In a random act of violence, the favorite button was admitted to a hospital in critical condition after a vicious stabbing by a fanfic reader. Doctors were able to stabilize it after eight hours of surgery, but it is still recovering. However, the favorite button is healing fast and doctors say it is fit to assume its duties again. If anyone has any information on the attacker, please call 1-800-THANK-YOU. You guys are awesome~

ANYWAY…

"Uh, you're welcome!" I said with a little more enthusiasm than I should have as he stood up, and boy was he tall. Then I realized that speaking was not really the best way to communicate to a deaf man and internally kicked myself. "S-sorry, I mean I know you can't hear me so…" Ugh, why do I talk so much when I am nervous? He can't even understand what I'm saying!

He lifted his hands again and I heard him think the words he was quickly signing, his inner voice hopeful while his face remained the same. "Can you sign?"

I was about to answer 'no' when I realized that would be a dead give away that I could understand, so I simply gave him a blank look hoping it seemed convincing. I'm not a very good liar.

That is when he cleared his throat. His real voice was lower than his inner one, something very common for most people, and rather broken as if the words were foreign to him. Not like an accent, but like he didn't know how to speak very well. (Actually he might have had an accent as well. It was hard to tell.)

"Th'nk yah f'r help'n m'." It took a second for me to comprehend what he said but when I did I tried to be cheerful and answered.

"No problem!"

He's cute when he smiles…

It took everything I had not to turn red. I'm not really used to compliments, you see. I was always labeled the freak or the loner. When you try your best to be a wallflower you aren't really prepared for these kinds of situations. I know he was just being nice and that his intentions were good, but there is something a little different about watching someone feel affection for another versus being the one getting the affection. I kind of just wanted to abruptly leave and run away, but that would be rude… Curse my polite nature!

"C'n yah show m' how tah ch'ck these ou'?" he asked. "H'ven't b'n tah the libr'ry in ah l'ng t'me." His thoughts were racing with feelings of embarrassment and anticipation for my answer though his stoic expression stayed neutral. It is amazing how well someone can develop a façade to hide what they truly think and feel. This man was very good at it because if I weren't a mind reader, I would tell you he was angry at me. The way he stared at my face like that was kind of like a glare and I flinched involuntarily under it. I followed his example and tried to keep my face void of my uneasiness.

"S-sure, of course."

"Th'nks. N'me's B'rw'ld."

"Burwild?" The man hesitated, mouthed something, and slowly shook his head. I heard his thoughts much better than his actual speech. I think he's mispronouncing it. How do I tell him my name is Berwald?

"Oh, Berwald," I corrected myself and tried to play it off as an ah-ha moment. "Sorry, it took a moment to get. I'm a little slow… Wait, do you understand me?" He's been responding to my speech this whole time. Was Berwald completely deaf or just partly?

"R'd l'ps." I didn't quite catch that and he had to repeat himself a little clearer. "Er, r'd…re'd li's…?"

"Read lips?" A quick nod. Ah, so that certainly makes things a little easier and explains his strange staring. It was hard to understand him but at least he wasn't completely mute. "Wow, I've never met someone who can do that before. My name is Tino, by the way." Giving Berwald my name felt a little strange but I couldn't help it after he already gave me his. Curse my polite nature…again.

I could feel him process my words while he remained unchanged on the outside. It took a moment before he gave me any sign that he understood and I made a note to speak a little slower for him. "N'ce tah me't yah."

"Likewise." We shook hands and I pointed towards Elizaveta in the corner. She was filing her nails behind her desk waiting for something to do. "That's the librarian. You probably don't have a library card if it has been that long so you will need to get a new one." When I turned my sight back to him I did a little squeaking noise in the back of my throat that I am very glad he didn't hear. Berwald was leaning towards me with a look on his face, which I knew was just concentration but really did scare me for a second. His staring was intense!

He is helpful, like I thought. Ah…I think I'm scaring him…

Berwald leaned away again and blinked. At least he was considerate, I know of many people that have invaded my personal space and didn't spare a single thought towards it. I should know.

I awkwardly led him to the counter and Elizaveta looked up. She saw me first and gave me a friendly wave and a smile while tucking her long brown hair behind her ear. She always wore some kind of flower clip on one side and was indeed very pretty.

"Hello, Tino! How's my favorite reader doing today? Find anything good on the shelves? I swear you've read them all." That is when she saw Berwald stand next to me; his piercing gaze sent her mind into a paranoid frenzy. Holy shit, this guy is scary! Is he mad? Why is he following poor Tino around? If he does anything, I'm alerting security.

"I'm doing fine, thanks. Um…Eli, this is Berwald. Berwald, Eli," I introduced them as happily as I could to show her there was nothing wrong. Poor Berwald was being judged unfairly, but I couldn't blame her.

"I see…a friend of yours?" I'm glad to see he has one but I'm worried about who he's hanging out with.

"Hm." Berwald grunted to confirm. Out of the corner of my vision I saw his eyes dart to me in what appeared to be a nonchalant glance but was definitely a sign of inner panic. Why did I say that? We met no more than five minutes ago; I can't just go around telling people we are friends! He is going to think I'm strange…

"S-sort of…" I scratched the back of my head and tried to play it cool. For Berwald's sake. I wasn't going to bite his head off when it was obvious he didn't mean anything by it. Of course, he didn't know that. "I met him by the nonfiction section. He needs a library card and a refresher on how things work here."

Elizaveta got to work setting Berwald up. He conversed with her through a pencil and paper to avoid miscommunication and I stood nearby waiting for them to be done. The book I wasn't reading from before was still in my hand and I pretended to be thumbing through it, though it was once again nothing but my cover. I couldn't stop hearing the voices of the ones nearest to me, like two people talking at once. They were joined with the fainter voices of the others in the building reading and day dreaming as usual. I couldn't wait to get back to my pleasant viewing when I could block it all out…

But first I had to get away from my secret admirer.

To be frank: he was nice. He seemed caring and thoughtful. His cold demeanor was just a mask for the sweet good natured man inside, by what I could tell. A perfect match for…well, anyone. Except for me. I had the common sense to stay single, thank you very much. Being a mind reader is very hard to keep away from any potential partners and the only time I ever had some kind of relationship she freaked out and demanded I never speak to her again. Apparently, using my ability to find out what makes her ideal man so I could be that ideal man for her was 'disturbing.' All I wanted was for her to like me the same way I liked her…I had the purest of intentions. But years have passed since then and I grew to realize that she was kind of right. It was an invasion of her personal space no better than sneaking into her house to read her diary and make off with her panties. To a stupid teenage boy: it sounded like a good idea at the time.

So you can see why I felt a little sympathetic towards Berwald. His mind kept going back to me as I stood by seemingly unaware. Whatever it was that he saw in me, he really seemed to like it. All kinds of plots to get me on a date with him were going over in his mind and I had to give him credit: the man was brilliant. It was all I could do not to blush at the sweet determination he had.

Finally, his card was made. Elizaveta scanned the barcodes of Berwald's four books and put them under his new account. He thanked her and picked them up, I quickly read the titles curiously to see they were history books, and put them in the free navy blue complementary book bag you get when you sign up for a library card. He thanked her with a quick sign and a nod then turned to face me.

"Th'nk yah," he said in that gruff voice of his. "C'me here oft'n?" Dear lord, that was cliché. I had to stop myself from laughing at how obvious it was, even without my ability, that he didn't put any thought into that before saying it. "…L'brar'n knows yah, s' ah thought…"

"Yeah," I gave him a quick nod and a friendly smile. "Now that you are all checked out, I'll get out of your hair and get back to my book. Your welcome and enjoy the literature!"

"S're." Berwald nodded. He shifted his bag onto his elbow to create a quick series of gestures. "G'dbye." "I hope we meet again soon."

"Uh, yeah…I m-mean, goodbye!" I stumbled over my words and quickly turned to walk away. That was close! He confused me there, saying one thing and thinking the other. I almost responded to his signing which would have been hard to explain. Oh well, at least I can go back to what I was doing before Berwald appeared. Hopefully he would forget about me but to play it safe I decided to sit in a different spot for the next week in case he came back. Not that I didn't like him, but…it would probably be a bad idea to associate much. I don't want him to get attached to someone unreachable and I don't want to be either.

Ah, but if only I could…I might have gone with him for that coffee.

000

I work in my home office from eight to three. The hours in between are often used up in my nice quiet home or, more often than not, at the library. It really is my only good connection to the outside world where I can spend unlimited time in the presence of others. Because of my little problem of going out in crowded public places I kind of lived like a hermit, which really sucks when you are a people person and don't like to be alone. The only time I brave the outside world of common society was when I went to the store for food and necessities. Otherwise, everything would be delivered to my house. You can have food sent to your door too but that is a little expensive and I like picking it out myself. Shopping is fun if there aren't too many people…

Imagine it like you are stuck in a crowd. Maybe an amusement park where people are always talking and laughing, straining to hear each other over the others. Now imagine if you were seeing images flash through your mind, both memories and daydreams, along with those constant voices and all their sensations as well. It is enough to deal with my own life much less a hundred others. It is like brain overload and gives me major headaches. Sometimes I even pass out. That is why poor Tino isn't allowed in malls, or zoos, or generally anywhere most people flock to. I can't even go to the bank without getting bombarded by disordered noise. A person's mind is never at rest.

So you can imagine why I come to the library so much. It is a constant, a comfort, a link. I can travel the world and beyond in this small never-flooded building without leaving the comfort of a rocking chair. Thoughts here are calm and quiet, always hushed and collected as if the library rules applied not only to their outside voices but inside ones as well. Nothing chaotic or confusing, just relaxed minds sinking into a dream-like state. Through sleet and snow, I went nearly every day. And if not this library, others. There are two within walking distance of my house and one just a short bus ride away. But this one is by far my favorite.

Today I was reading something myself. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, a very gripping novel with tons of suspense and action. I've read the whole series twice and was happily starting again for a third time when I happened to hear something different from the usual murmurs and whispers of tones and notions. It was someone entering the front doors, not really out of the ordinary but enough to stir me like the echo of a drop of water in a cave. They would come inside and get situated, and then I would tone them out like the others…

I wonder if I'll see him again. Probably not, but you never know.

My eyes instantly lifted and I peered through the thin shelves to see the deaf man from a few days before walk in with his book bag in hand. I was partly hidden by a few encyclopedias so he didn't see me when he first scanned the room before making his way to the turn-in box. All four books he previously checked out were put in the slot and he turned around to head towards the shelves when he was done. I got up from my chair and moved to the mystery section which provided a bit more cover. I didn't want Berwald finding me or he might…I don't know, do something! There was something about his presence that was making me jumpy. So I hid and hoped he would quickly find something interesting to read and leave. That was the plan…

…Until I peeked through a few covers and saw him heading straight for where I was. Why was he coming here? Did he see me? Oh…the mystery section is next to history. Doesn't he like history? Crap, I better get out of here!

I rushed to the other side of the isle as quietly as possible, remembering halfway there that he was deaf and it didn't matter, and rounded the corner just before he walked around the other. I was pretty sure I was in the clear until I heard his thoughts.

What was that? Felt like running.

The building is old and the boards do creak and shudder a little when you walk on them. I guess he picked up my panicked vibrations and I paled. Great, we were on even grounds! I could sense him and he could sense me. What a game of cat and mouse…

I didn't have much warning before the volumes on a shelf next to me were parted to make a small gap. It was a fleeting thought at most and I barely had time to duck. I could feel him searching above me as I crouched and prayed that he wouldn't look down. He didn't and I sighed in relief when he put the books back. I stood up and crept as softly over the floor as I could and left the mystery/history section feeling rather victorious.

Then I bumped into a display of children's picture books while my head was turned and they toppled on top of me.

"Eek!" I squeaked and fell over from sheer surprise. My life flashed before my eyes as I tumbled to the ground in a heap with thin paperbacks under and on top of me, some opened with freshly creased pages and others sprawled on top of each other. One was on my head and all I could see was Moominpappa. I sat up carefully when I realized I was still alive and the book slid off slowly allowing me to see again. What I saw completely defeated the purpose of my sneaking: Berwald walked right up to me from where I came from and held out his slightly larger hand.

Ah, so he IS here!

"Yah 'kay?" It was nice of him to ask but I had to control my temper at him. In his mind he was laughing. The jerk! I just had a life or death experience and he thought it was funny! I took his hand anyway and grumbled under my breath. What was the point of keeping quiet in the presence of a deaf man? Berwald gave me a weird look "…Stup'd wha'?"

Oh yeah. He reads lips.

"O-oh, nothing!" I said and laughed a little. I dusted myself off and went right to picking up the poor display I just demolished thanks to my famous clumsiness. There wasn't any major damage to the books…none that kids would care about, anyway. Berwald knelt beside me and helped clean up like a gentleman. "Um, I wasn't expecting to…" His eyes were on the ground so he couldn't see what I was saying. I had to wait for us to be done for me to get the chance to speak. "I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon. Did you not like the books you borrowed? I remember you had a few of them."

He shook his head. "Nah. R'd th'm."

I think he said he read them. Seriously, I had to really concentrate on what he was saying to get it. "All of them in a few days? Wow, you must have a lot of free time."

"Hm. Ah speed r'd. Plus ah lost m' job."

"Oh…I'm sorry to hear that." I truly was. It is hard to keep a job in this recession, especially if you are handicapped. But I am sure they have programs that get people like him who need work into places. I think.

"Wha' w're yah do'n h're?" he gestured to the kids section around us. My brain went into overdrive trying to think of a feasible excuse as to why I was in such a strange place for a twenty five year old.

"I-I…I was just…uh, I was…" my eyes drifted to the display of Moomin books and I hurriedly plucked one from the top. "…getting a book! Yeah, I love The Moomins. They were my favorite when I was little and I still like reading the picture books." He wasn't buying it. At least my lie was half-truth. I really do still like The Moomins cartoons and comics and is something I probably won't ever grow out of. Not to say my adoration for the cute characters wasn't a little embarrassing and my ears felt hot as I tried my best to look casual.

He was the one running from me. I scare him.

You have no idea how heartbroken and ashamed that thought sounded. If you heard it, you would have done the same thing I did. I could tell he was already a little down on how he came off on others. It wasn't his fault if he were born with a naturally more…aggressive face. "Um…want to sit down somewhere? We look kind of weird standing in the kid's section." What? Wasn't I trying to get away from him? Why, yes. I was. But I'm too much of a goody-goody to let anyone feel like I'm treating them wrong.

He agreed and we made our way back to the sitting area. The dulled thoughts of other relaxed readers were like background noise and were easily ignored. I took a seat at a table farthest from any other people and he sat down on the other side and stared.

And stared.

And kept staring.

It might have only been a few seconds but they were seconds that were quickly becoming awkward for me. I know he's only waiting for me to speak so he can read my lips, but still…

Beautiful eyes…are they violet? Such a strange color.

Okay, so it wasn't my lips he was staring at. I was getting self conscious and flipped open my Moomin book to somewhere in the middle for a possible distraction. "Ah! This artist draws them differently than how I remember the original cartoons. Snufkin's hat is huge." I turned the page around for him to see and he finally tore his eyes off my face. He took a quick look and quirked an eyebrow.

Adorable.

I was half-sure he was talking about Snufkin.

I've gotten nothing but good reviews on this one so far. Thanks, guys! But if you see anything out of place, don't be afraid to speak up. I'll take any opinion for consideration. :)

Oh, and yes I slightly changed the name of this fic. Just go with it.