Gemma called Elle bright and early the next morning and asked her to come over and help get the clubhouse ready for the Tacoma charter's visit. Elle mumbled sleepily into her phone that she'd be there soon and rolled out of bed, hoping a shower would wake her up. When she'd agreed to help, she hadn't known it was going to be at the butt crack of dawn.

After her shower, she quickly fixed her hair and makeup so she at least looked presentable to be out in public and pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top before grabbing her purse and heading out the door. She'd debated asking Bex if she wanted to come, but as it wasn't even 8 in the morning, she decided against waking her up. She left a note on the counter telling her where she was and to meet her at the clubhouse if she wanted to come by.

She pulled into the clubhouse parking lot several minutes later and walked in to find the place completely trashed. Bottles, cans, and cups littered the floor and all along the bar and there was a puddle of what she was pretty sure was vomit on the floor in front of the bar. Gemma was behind the bar with a big trash bag, shoving things into it while a few other girls Elle recognized but didn't know ran around the clubhouse cleaning up. It seemed that Wendy the Queen had either not been invited or thought she was above this little cleaning party, as she was nowhere to be seen.

Gemma glanced up when Elle walked in and smiled at her.

"Oh, Elle thank God you're here. Do you see this place? Fucking disaster. It's a wonder the guys get anything done without us," she said, hands on her hips as she looked around the room and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

"I'm gonna need you to restock the bar," she said, taking some keys out of her pocket and handing them to Elle, "Storage room is at the end of the hall. There are a couple boxes of vodka and some tequila. They'll probably be heavy, so just grab what you can." Elle took the keys and nodded, heading to the storage room. When she got to the door, she realized it was already unlocked and she pushed it open. She heard someone yelling and walked in to see Jax pacing the room on his phone, holding it away from his ear and up to his mouth. Her heart started racing as she watched him, and she wasn't exactly sure why.

"I'm fucking sick if it!" he was screaming into the phone, "This fucking pattern of yours. The minute times start to get tough, little Tara packs her bags and hits the road." He put the phone back up to his ear, listening for a beat, before saying, "Yeah, fuck you, too. Don't come back this time." He listened a second more before he slammed the phone shut and ran his hands through his hair, finally glancing up and noticing Elle.

"Can I not get some fucking privacy anywhere in this goddamn place?" he yelled angrily at her. Elle jumped back, stumbling slightly.

"S-Sorry," she said, "Gemma just wanted me to grab some bottles for the bar." She went through a few boxes, looking for the bottles Gemma was talking about and trying to get out of there as quickly as possible as Jax sat down on a bench by the wall, his head in his hands.

"Nah, it's okay," he mumbled. She was about to just grab an entire box and push it down the hall if she couldn't carry it just so she wouldn't have to come back in, when he grabbed her arm.

"I'm sorry," he said, "It's not really you I wanted to yell at." She nodded.

"Yeah, I got that," she said, "From the whole… you know… yelling at your phone." He sighed, a distant look in his eyes.

"Yeah, that was my old lady. She took off. Middle of the night shit. I woke up and she was just fucking gone." He said. Elle stuck her hands in her pockets, not really sure what to say.

"I'm sorry, Jax," she finally said and, feeling awkward standing, took a seat next to him. He shook his head.

"Not like I didn't see it coming. We weren't in love anymore. Neither of us has been happy for a long time," he rambled distractedly. He leaned back against the wall, turning his head to look at Elle, "I guess I just didn't have the balls to end it, you know? We'd been together for so long," he told her, digging a joint out of his pocket and lit up, then passed it to her.

"I usually have a rule of no weed before 9 am," she said as she took the joint and took a hit. Jax exhaled, waving the smoke away with his hand as a slight grin made its way to his face.

"I don't have that rule," he said. He closed his eyes for a moment as he took a final hit off the joint before putting it out on the windowsill behind him. As if talking to himself he muttered, "I'm almost glad she's gone. I can finally just move on."

Elle looked over at him as he opened his eyes to face her. Her heart did a double take and she felt her stomach start to do flip flops as he leaned towards her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked into his beautiful blue eyes before closing hers as he leaned down to kiss her and she felt heat rush through her body as his lips touched hers. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer to him and she had to hold back a contented sigh. She'd wanted to kiss him ever since the first time she'd ever seen him nearly 10 years ago, and lost her head in the moment for a minute.

His hand reached down, sliding under her shirt to the button of her shorts and she backed away from him.

"Jax, no," she said, gently pushing him back from her. He stared at her, incredulous.

"Seriously?" he asked, a smirk dancing across his lips as he leaned closer to her, "Do you know how dangerous it is to turn down the President?" She bit her lip, shaking her head slightly.

"I do know how dangerous a time it is after a break up," she said, having to force herself not to jump on him and tear his clothes off right there, "Your head's not in the right place to be sleeping with anyone." She didn't even know why she was refusing him. For weeks all she'd wanted was him. But she knew she didn't want him like this.

His eyes narrowed as he stared at her, his smirk replaced with a scowl. He clearly wasn't so used to rejection.

"Who are you to talk about where my fucking head is? Just some goddamn croweater," he muttered, leaning back against the wall. Elle grimaced at the term. She knew what she was, but up until this point she hadn't thought of it as a bad thing. Wasn't Bex always going on and on about what an honor it was to be croweater? She realized now what she'd really been doing – letting them use her as a pass around, just a place to put their dicks. She watched Jax close his eyes, Gemma's words from the salon swimming back to her. 'If the reason you start coming back to the parties ever changes, I'd rethink your idea of having a good time.'

Maybe her reason for hanging out at the clubhouse was changing. She stood up and grabbed a few bottles of Jack out of the box by the door, turning around one last time to look at him. If it was, she'd be wasting her time. As he'd said, she was just some goddamn croweater. And it killed her to know he thought of her like that.

SOASOASOASOA

Several weeks went by and Elle had been avoiding the clubhouse. Gemma had texted her the night the Tacoma charter came in to see where she was, but she hadn't responded. Juice had even texted her a couple times to invite her to some smaller get-togethers and to ask where she'd been.

She wasn't sure what exactly she was hoping would happen. That Jax would notice her absence and come rushing over on his Harley to sweep her off her feet? Not likely. So she spent most of her time at home or at the pawn shop, trying to keep her mind on other things. But as she literally had nothing else in her life going on at the moment, that was proving to be a difficult challenge.

Bex came out of the back room at the pawn shop and pulled a stool up to where Elle was sitting at the counter.

"You sure you don't want to come tonight? It's gonna be really good. They're just getting back from a run," Bex said.

"From where?" Elle asked, trying to avoid answering the question. Bex shrugged.

"No idea, I just know they've been gone," she said. Bex continued to look at her curiously, still waiting on an answer. Elle shook her head.

"I don't really feel up to going to a party tonight," she said. She hadn't really given Bex a reason why she had stopped going to the clubhouse and had refrained from asking her about Jax so as not to give herself away, but it was killing her.

"So how is everyone?" she asked vaguely. Bex shrugged.

"Same ol', same ol'," she said, "But I'm starting to feel like your goddamn answering machine. Your absence has been noticed." Elle looked up.

"Oh really… by who?" she asked, trying to keep the hopeful tone out of her voice.

"Oh you know, Juice and Opie, and Tig's still hoping for that threesome," she said laughing. Elle tried to laugh back.

"Anyone else?" she asked, hoping she wasn't pushing it too far. Bex gave her a weird look.

"I dunno, why? Anyone in particular you got in mind?" she asked, leaning her elbow on the counter, her head perched on her hand. Elle shook her head firmly.

"No, just… curious," she said evasively. She wriggled around in her seat uncomfortably until she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"So... how's Wendy been ever since Jax and Tara split?" Elle asked, trying to sound like she cared more about what new antics Wendy had been up to. Bex looked at her.

"How do you know Jax and Tara split?" she asked.

"Oh, I ran into him at the clean up," she said, "He told me." Bex narrowed her eyes at Elle.

"Is that why you're not coming around anymore?" she asked, "Because Tara left?"

"No…" she said unconvincingly.

"You've got a thing for Jax, don't you?" Bex asked, grinning.

"What? No! I mean, maybe. I don't know," Elle said, sighing. Bex shook her head.

"You broke the cardinal rule, my friend," she said, then looked at her concernedly, "Listen, Jax has been hooking up with Wendy almost every night I've been out there." Elle wasn't surprised, but the information made her chest constrict anyway.

"I'm sorry, Elle. If I'd have thought there was a chance you'd end up actually falling for one of them, I never would have brought you into the life. I really don't want to see you hurt again," Bex said, "So whatever you've got goin on in your head about Jax, I suggest you just get it right out of there. Jax doesn't date croweaters, he just… does them."

"So maybe I don't want to be a croweater anymore," Elle said furiously. Bex looked at her sympathetically.

"I'm really sorry, Elle, but it's a label that's hard to shake," she said gently. Elle sighed, knowing it was true.

"Listen, you should come tonight," Bex said as Elle gave her an incredulous look, "No, listen. I know it'll fucking hurt, but I think it'll be good for you to see Jax for yourself. Get the pipe dream out of your mind, you know?"

Elle shrugged and thought about it. If she was honest with herself, she really did want to go. She did want to see Jax. She just didn't want to see him lead Wendy to the back of the clubhouse. And maybe Bex was right. Elle would see Jax with Wendy, she'd get upset, she'd go home, she'd cry him out of her system, and then tomorrow would be another day, her mind free. Elle sighed.

"I'll go for a little bit. But we're taking separate cars so I can go home early," she said and Bex nodded happily, "And if your stupid plan doesn't work, I'm not going back there again."

SOASOASOASOASOA

The sons pulled up to the Teller-Morrow lot from an exhausting yet successful run to Indian Hills. Gemma and Piney came out to greet them as they all filed into the clubhouse.

"Hi, baby," Gemma said, kissing Jax on the cheek. He smiled, giving her a kiss back.

"Hey, ma," he said, walking past her to the bar to grab a beer. Gemma watched as Wendy practically bee-lined it over to get Jax a drink before cuddling up on him. She rolled her eyes at the hopeless case. That would happen over her dead body.

Opie told Wendy to get him a drink as he sat next to Jax at the bar, and she obediently, albeit begrudgingly, hopped off Jax to pull him a beer before he told her to get lost. Jax turned to look at him after Wendy scurried away.

"Somethin on your mind, brother?" he asked. Opie pursed his lips, his eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

"Just checking on where your head's at since Tara split," he said. Jax looked at him hard.

"My head's just fine, Ope," he said firmly. Opie nodded, glancing back at where Wendy was sitting with her usual horde of croweaters. Jax followed his gaze and shook his head.

"That's just pussy, man," he said.

"I'm just saying, maybe you could use a little variety," Opie said. Jax shrugged.

"Wendy's just easy," he said, lighting a cigarette.

"They're all easy for you," Opie pointed out. Jax thought about Elle turning him down in the storage room all those weeks ago and took a drag of his cigarette, exhaling slowly.

"Yeah, I guess so," he said, his mind still full of that girl. He hadn't been able to get her out of his head since that day. He just needed to fuck her, get her out of his system. They'd fuck, he'd realize she was just another croweater, he'd be done with all that bullshit, and tomorrow would be another day, his mind free.

A/N Please please review! Let me know what you think!