ALTERNATE ENDING: Apple Sauce

"Near, I'm going now." Lidner called from the door.

"Okay."

"I'm turning off the lights."

"Okay."

"...You might want to get some sleep for-"

"Goodnight Lidner."

She sighed before she turned to leave. The door clicked shut behind her, and then again when she locked it. Near sat alone in silence and stillness as the huge fluorescent lights shuddered into darkness. Soon it was only the glow of his wall of monitors that lit up his pale face.

Near put down the Lego he had been using to build with. Before him, over his head rose up a huge tower. It was beautiful; with tiers and bridges and an elegant spire rising from the centre. The kind of construction he used to only dream of. He looked up at it and sighed. He would dismantle it tomorrow.

For a long time he just sat still on the cold marble floor, as he often did these days. His onyx eyes fluttered closed and he essentially shut down for a moment or two; blocking everything out. Sometimes he needed to stop thinking. He let his mind go blank; a vast white fortress that no thought or feeling could penetrate. He sighed and opened his eyes once more.

He looked over his shoulder at the armchair which Lidner had moved into the room in the hope that he might nap in it sometimes. As if sleep would make him less apathetic and emotionless. As if it would make him alive.

Or maybe she actually cared for his well-being... Ha. Lidner was a boring person, but it wasn't her fault. Everyone was boring, now. When Kira died so had the last interesting person on the earth, it seemed, and Near was left alone to waste away in boredom.

He looked at one of the monitors that displayed the time, in glowing red numerals.

"5:21 am"

Something about those numbers struck a memory in him, but it was unclear what exactly it was. Like hearing only a few notes of a song that you knew well, but nothing more.

He looked around the room, briefly wondering what one did at at five o' clock in the morning when they couldn't sleep. His mind wandered around the room to the files on his current investigation, to his tower, to the wall of monitors, to the armchair; all a dark, muted blue in the half-light. None of them drew him tonight. Tonight he felt impatient. He wanted something new...

Or something old....

He rose, shaking slightly, to his feet. He had decided on exploring. There had to a billion rooms in this colossal building he'd never set foot in before. It had been taking him a long time now, to get used to walking again, but he persisted. Never where anyone could see him, of course...

He pattered silently down the dark halls, not really caring where he was going. He found himself at the end of a particularly long one. He stopped and gave a little smile, a curious smile. A long moment stretched out just like the hallway before him, tentative; hadn't done this in a long time...

He ran. As fast as he could, all the way to the end.

His rib ached in that familiar way, like an old friend that hadn't been seen in a while. When he reached the end of the hall his breath came in gasps and his cheeks were flushed, but he was smiling. He even let out a little laugh, to see how it sounded after so many years of silence. It echoed around the empty hall shyly, making him wrinkle his nose. He wondered what it was about tonight, that was making him act so strangely. As if he was a child.

Near liked the halls like this; dark and silent and empty. He liked knowing that there would be no one there if he walked around a corner. He liked being alone.

People were stupid and boring. They didn't know when to shut up and leave him alone. He hadn't had an actually engaging conversation in years; again, since Kira had died. There had been something about Kira; something almost familiar in the clever and ingenious way he went about his schemes. He could say that Kira reminded him of himself, but that wouldn't be quite right. Almost, but not quite.

Maybe some part of himself...

But Kira had died, and now Near was left to comparatively petty cases that severed only to depress him. Near sighed and turned the corner to find himself at a dead end. His eyes widened. He was in the safe room. On the wall in front of him it hung, a big gun-metal grey box with the most complicated combination lock available. Near let his curiosity get the better of him tonight. He didn't care what happened. He wanted something to happen.

He was sick of being bored.

He punched and clicked in the combination he had committed to memory the first time he had seen someone use it, and the door swung open. Inside lay the book. The book that no one wanted to destroy, just in case. The book that they had been offered billions of dollars for. That innocent little black book that had almost destroyed the world. Near reached a hand inside the safe and withdrew the book. He looked at the cover for a few moments in silence, and sat on the ground, folding his legs up underneath him.

He opened it and flicked through the names inside it. All of these people, dying before their times... Strange how it was only now, seeing each name like this, written out all neatly in Japanese like a shopping list that Near actually comprehended the gravity of it.

Back when the case was still open, when someone had said "millions"it didn't mean anything, Near had never cared very much at all. He hadn't cared about much back then. Even less than he did now... But for some reason when it was just one person, with a name and a face and maybe a family or a lover or a friend who missed them, it mattered for some reason.

There were so many names... Near found himself wondering which one it was... "Once Kira is caught, I will come back for you, I promise..." Kira is dead now...

"Bored, huh?" came a gravelly voice from the doorway that made Near slam the book shut and whip his head around.

"You." he said. The shinigami stood there, leaning against the door frame, reptilian grin plastered across his face, his eerie eyes flashing yellow in the dark. "What do you want?" Near fought to keep his voice from shaking with the shock. He cursed himself for not expecting this...

"The question is, what do you want?" It replied, "I'm only here because it seems my old notebook has a new possessor." the creature pointed at him with a cruelly curved claw.

"So it's mine as soon as I touch it, then?" Near inferred, wishing the creature would step out of the shadows.

"Nice and quick." it replied, nodding. "Had to explain everything to the last one. He was bored too, you know."

"I am not going to be using this notebook." Near said, his eyes narrowing. "I was just reading it."

"Course, course. That's right, you're the new mighty L, aren't you. You aren't for justice. Now Raito," the creature sighed nostalgically, "There was a guy who was for justice. Really into it you know. Just crazy about it. Ku ku ku." it laughed.

Near looked down at the book again, and all the names etched into the pages.

"I don't think I will ever know what justice really is." Near said softly and the shinigami stopped laughing, looking at the small, pale boy curiously. Near looked up at him, eyes hard. "but I also don't think that fact will ever make a difference."

"You really are an interesting one, aren't you." the shinigami remarked.

"How do you mean?" Near fired back, eyes narrowing.

"Well every other human I've ever known has believed in something." it explained. "But youdon't." Near opened his mouth to retort but found he couldn't really deny the words. Did he believe in anything? He set his jaw.

"For thousands of years the people of ancient Maya regularly slaughtered their own people in a ritual that was supposed to ensure that the sun rose every morning.

"In the 11th, 12th and 13th centuries Latin Europe waged religiously sanctioned war on Muslims, Jews, Pagans and other religions in an attempt to recapture Jerusalem, killing uncountable amounts of people in the name of their own particular imaginary friends which they saw as better than everyone else's.

"In the 1940s a man called Adolf Hitler sent approximately six million Jews to their deaths as well because he believed he could create a master race. And his entire country believed in him... When has believing in something ever benefited mankind?" Near's voice was emotionless.

"I wasn't talking about religion." the shinigami replied, lazily. "But you knew that..." Near glared at him. "I was thinking more of goodness or beauty or freedom or, you know," it grinned evilly at him. "Love."

"...Love?" Near's tone was faltering, his eyes narrowing. What was the shinigami trying to get at?

"Yes, love." it replied. "I hear it's to die for. Ku ku ku." it cackled.

"...I've forgotten what that is." Near lied quietly.

"Poor little hero."

"I'm sorry?"

"You have everything." it purred, leaning forward in the air so it's face was a foot from his. "You've got no right to be unhappy."

Near opened his mouth to reply but he was frozen from the shock wave he felt as the words went through him. It was hard to breathe. Right through him. The shinigami's eyes shone in malicious glee.

"I thought so." It said, and Near noticed it was hanging upside-down. Then after a brief, deliciously tense pause it spoke again. Those lazy, drawled words designed to turn Near's world on it's head. "Do you believe in the after-life, Near?" It suddenly asked him. Near's head snapped up.

"What?"

"Heaven? Hell? Reincarnation?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're afraid of death." it giggled. Near scowled at it.

"Of course I'm afraid of death." he shot back. "What human in their right mind isn't?"

"L wasn't."

There was a long silence.

"I'm hungry..."

"You're a shinigami..."

"Do you have any apples?"

"Apples?"

"The red things... well sometimes they're green... but the red ones are sweeter. I like them better. Which ones do you like better?"

"I don't like sweet things."

"Oh..." The monster looked practically dejected and it sat down in front of him on the floor, spidery limbs sprawling at odd angles.

"But... um... there's some apple sauce in the fridge, I think..."

"Apple... sauce?"

Near picked up the death note and left the room without bothering to make sure Ryuuk was following him. He pattered quietly down the stairs until he reached the tiny kitchenette off of the main office rooms. In the tiny bar fridge sat a jar half-full of apple sauce that Gevanni had tried to coax him to eat one time. He looked at it's label, running his finger over it as he thought. An insidious little idea...

What was he doing... He wasn't even sure this was what he wanted... His thoughts and feelings were a confused mess and he should really wait until his mind was clear before making decisions like this...

Besides, it was a long shot... but what harm could come from trying?

"…" He decided not to contemplate the thought. Near swivelled on the spot to meet the huge yellow eyes of the shinigami, but didn't jump at their proximity, instead narrowing his eyes.

"This is apple sauce." Near said, holding up the jar. "And I am going to give it to you if you do just one thing for me."

Ryuuk's huge golden orbs narrowed and his claws twitched, as if itching for the jar in Near's hand. "Raito used to do this..." it grumbled. "What do you want?"

"I want you to show me where... well..." he stammered. He hated himself for not being able to finish his request, but it turned out, he didn't have to.

"Where they go?" Ryuuk finished for him, grin widening in understanding and eyes flashing. Near swallowed and set his jaw, nodding.

"Without killing me... I just want to see..." a new thought struck him. "Can you do that? Is it even allowed?" the shinigami had cocked it's head to the side, like a bird, examining something shiny.

"I don't know... I suppose its possible... No one's ever asked me to before..."

"You're so useless." Near replied, turning away from him once again, to put the jar back in the fridge. Then he felt the claws on his shoulder turning him back around.

"Not so fast..." it said, and Near's heart found it's way to his throat. The shinigami was so close... "Anyway, I think I like you, kid. You're an interesting one... I can't promise it won't be... confronting... you really want to see it? You want to see what happens to people after they die?" the creature drew somehow even closer...

"I want to come back." Near replied firmly, willing the authority that he had grown so used to back into his voice. It was hard, with that sweet, rotting smell of the death god filling his head. "You have to swear..."

The shinigami only grinned it's reptilian grin.

xXx

Halle Lidner unlocked the heavy doors with a thunk, and made her way through the huge, empty white corridors, up to where the little white cloud of misery would be waiting for her. He was probably building something huge and precarious, having already finished everyone's work for the day the night before, while he should have been sleeping. She sighed. She wished he would sleep.

She checked her watch; Gevanni would be there in about half an hour.

Scratch that. She thought. I wish he would smile.

"!"

She almost dropped her bag at the sight before her, when she entered the room. There he was, curled up like a little white kitten in the big armchair she'd gotten for him. His eyes were gently closed and his ribcage gently rose and fell as he slept.

Slept... she felt dizzy. He was sleeping. There was even colour in his cheeks, for once. She looked again and noticed the red marks were actually old tear tracks? She set her things down on the table, drawing stealthily closer to the sleeping boy in the chair. She could hardly believe it.

At a footfall closer to him his eyes flickered open and he stared into space for a moment or two, a couple more warm tears sliding down his cheeks. She was starting to get a little frightened. Then she saw the black book in his hands, and her fears intensified into something similar to panic.

His eyes flicked up to meet hers and he smiled.

"It's okay." he whispered to her. "Every thing's... going to be alright now... he was there... he wasn't lying..." another tear escaped his glassy black eyes.

"Near..." she gasped, dropping to her knees in front of the armchair. "Are you okay? Is everything okay? The book..."

Her words seemed to jerk him from his daze. His eyes widened and he looked about at his surroundings as if he was surprised to see them. He shuffled about so that he was sitting upright now. He looked down at the book in his hands.

"The shinigami came." he replied quietly. Her stomach nearly dropped out, as she remembered those claws, those glittering eyes, that malicious grin. But Near was smiling...

"Did it hurt you?" she demanded, terrified.

"No." he said, and smiled sweetly again. "I gave it apple sauce."

"...What?"

A/N: Took a long time to upload, I know, but I wasn't sure what I wanted out of this one so I was banding ideas around for a long time. Can't say I'm not a little happy with the end result, though. Didn't realise how much I liked writing Ryuuk. ^^ Hopefully that gave all you lovely people a bit of a break from the angst that dominated the greater portion of the story. I'm gonna let you all decide for yourselves what happened in between the deal with Ryuuk and Lidner finding Near in the morning. In my mind, however, its very fluffy and sweeter than a cup of L's tea. ^^ I'm interested to hear what you think happened, however.

Sadly this means that this story IS finishing for real this time, so again a big thankyou to everyone for being so nice and helpful and lovely. This one is definately for you. 3

~CANDY