On a Saturday

8:20 pm

Philadelphia, PA

The party had just started. Guests were on their first or second drink, the decorations were yet to be tore down, the house wasn't a shithole yet. There was that linger of sexual energy you get at almost any high school party, where the guests want to make out, but they don't feel brave enough yet. A few steady glasses of alcohol should help take the common sense away. Screw those last 4 months of awkward classes if this hookup doesn't last; it was tonight, they were at a losers party, and there was a very high chance they wouldn't remember what happened.

Dennis Reynolds was the unusual outsider looking in at the party. Not because he was shy or insecure or anything (at least, not consciously), but because these people were beneath him and his social godliness. Dennis Reynolds was a beautiful human being, something that escaped his sister and father somehow.

"Dennis!" a familiar voice screeched his name. It was too huskey to be a girl, to low to be a normal boy. It did, however, give people on the phone something to guess.

"Hey, Charlie," Dennis said, "how's the party rolling?"

"Rolling like a beer can on the wheelchair ramps," Charlie assured. His confidence was likely booze based alone. "Hey, have you seen-"

"Aaayo!" Mac called out, on what Dennis counted was his third beer of the evening. "What are we talking about?"

"Um, how kick ass my party is!"

Things got more stupid by the minute when Mac and Charlie were A. Together and B. ingesting alcohol of any kind. Shit was going to go down tonight, but it should be in Dennis' pants. His goal

Dennis slipped out of the conversation to get some more booze. It was going to be a long night. He took a mental survey, distinguishing the closest to not being a loser in the party.

He was sipping a bottle of peach schnapps, looking over the part of the student body that considered themselves friends with Charlie. These included:

himself (obviously),

-Mac

-Dee

-Two incest committing brothers from Mac and Charlie's old school

-The Waitress and Jennie

-Fatty McGoo

-Rickety Cricket (who's leg brace broke and was dragging himself out),

-Stacie Corvelli the slut

-some losers Dennis could care less about

-and… there was someone missing.

Jennie was a clear dork and The Waitress was kind of gross, but they were the best people at the party, especially because Cricket was face down and dragging himself away as well as he could manage. Dennis swallowed his pride and walked to tap The Waitress on the shoulder, but chickened out and tapped Jennie instead.

Charlie Has a Party: Dennis' Story

"Hey," Dennis said, "I'm Dennis. Never saw you around before."

"Oh, that's because I'm home schooled. I'm Jennie, and this is-"

"I know you. You're the coffee shop waitress, aren't you?"

The Waitress smiled bashfully, possibly trying to flirt. "Mmm hmm."

Dennis utilized the only thing he knew about both women; "You ladies want a drink?"

#

A few hours later, all three (Dennis, The Waitress, and Jennie) were stone cold drunk. Jennie passed out on Dennis' arm, who shoved her on the other arm of the couch. Her dress rode up a little it, showing her panties. Being the coinsurer of female anatomy he was, he let out an (audible?) meh.

The Waitress was going on about her home life. Dennis listened to snippets at a time before he would get pissed off.

Basic analysis: "I've been working at the coffee shop all my life to support my parents alcoholism, Jennie is moving on in life, I hate myself," bla bla bla. Dennis added a random "you're special to me" or "they have no idea what they're missing" or, the best lie yet, "alcoholism isn't hereditary, you have nothing to worry about" to nurture her dependence. Dennis knew a way to get women to want him, but he had to test it on The Waitress first. Maybe the banging phase should've been earlier; his only complaint so far.

When he wasn't listening to The Waitress ramble, he was trying to see what was going on between Mac, Dee, and…THAT'S where he was. He and Mac must have pulled a hilarious prank on Sweet Dee and someone got all butt hurt. Dennis would catch up in the morning, but something bugged him that typically didn't: why wasn't he invited?

For Christ sake, that was his sister, who he always called "sweet". He was always there to make sure pranks didn't get too out of hand to really, truly hurt her. Dennis and Dee were more than brother and sister, they were twins! He had to protect the poor girl. Who else would?

Dennis tuned back into The Waitress, realizing she was falling asleep, too. This gave him an idea.

Dennis leaned The Waitress onto Jennie, sliding one of her hands in Jennie's bra, the other in her panties. He snickered at the arrangement, knowing they might wake up with erotic feelings due to Dennis' presence. Maybe they'll become lesbians? Who knows; all Dennis knew is it wasn't his-

Oh. Shit. Was Jennie waking up while he was placing The Waitresses hands correctly?

"Yes, Dennis, I am." Jennie stood up (sleep made her more sober than The Waitress, evidently), removed The Waitresses hands, and used her own to slap Dennis across the face.

"Do you know what you just did?" Dennis asked. "Do you know what you just fucking did? Do you know what I can do to you?"

"I don't go to school with you, you dumb cunt! I'm home schooled."

"I can say things about you and the world will believe me."

"Because you're Dennis fucking Reynolds?"

"Yep, the infamous."

"Because you screamed it every few minutes. Do you even know my last name?"

He didn't. "Ketchup? Beer bottle? Couch?"

Jennie laughed. She laughed in a way that suggested she was still a bit drunk. Petering down, she said, "Fuck you, whore. I won't tell her what you did."

"I knew you'd see the light."

"I'm going to do something much worse."

#

Before she left the next morning, while her friend slept, Jennie left the following note in her rats nest of hair. On a usual day, it would be left in her bra, but last nights circumstances said otherwise.

Her friend was a little obsessive about keeping tabs hen people were "the one". Jennie knew Dennis couldn't handle her friends raw love.

So out came the little note which said Dude! Dennis was so sweet to you last night. Never let him get away!

OXO Jennie

That's what happens when you mess with someone who fights back, biatch!

There's about 5 chapters left. Then I'm going to do a 30 Rock fic. Sound good?

PS comes next! It gets dark, so you might not want to read it.