On a Tuesday

1:30 pm

Philadelphia, PA

"Remember that party I had back in senior year?"

Charlie was sitting opposite Dee on a barstool in Paddy's. Dee was on the other side, sipping her beer almost in time with him. Mac was taking a piss while Dennis was (probably) checking himself in the mirror. They always went to the bathroom together, like women sometimes. Frank was yet to arrive, but she suspected he was under that stupid bridge.

"The one where I got the best head of my life in your mom's bed?" Dee said, in her traditional deadpan voice. It didn't match the usual ways people talk about good sex acts. "Yeah, why?"

"Wait, what?" Charlie said. He was unaware of that. A flash of panic went through his brain. "Ok, not the point. It's been a while since I've had a party-"

"Or at least a party that didn't suck," Dennis said leaving the bathroom with Mac.

"Yeah, dude," Mac agreed, "the last ones were a load of shit. I think the only good one was," Mac thought for a minute, "remember that one from senior year?"

Mac was halfway to his original weight, but Dee thought this weight was sexier. It had a teddy bear quality to it, a way to make his baby face more babyish. Not in a pedophile way.

"We were just talking about it," said Dee, "the one you got punched in the face?"

"By the same guy you whored yourself out to?"

"It was mutual, dipfuck!" Dennis and Dee said at the same time. Dennis was the second person told of Schmitty's sexual act. Dennis was drunker, but he through a painful punch in Schmitty's eye. Mac and Schmitty had matching shiners for two days before Mac's faded away. He credited that to Dee.

Dennis changed the subject. "What happened to The Waitresses friend?"

"Jennie?" Dee confirmed, "She lives in Kansas, I think? I'm not really sure, but I think she had a kid a while back. Why do you ask?"

Dennis shrugged. "Just curious, I guess." He didn't know why, but he wanted the subject changed. His sister getting laid freaked him out somehow.

Frank walked in. "What's the action?"

"Are you still trying to start that?" Dennis asked while grabbing two beers from the bar. Dee rolled her eyes, partially for each man she spent her days with.

"Why not? It's cool," Frank said in a way that wasn't cool at all.

"If you're going to call yourself 'cool', don't make it sound like Eric goddamn Cartman."

"Shut up, Ronnie," Frank said to Mac's comment.

Just to stop the retarted conversation from going anywhere, "We were talking about Charlie's party from senior year."

A light bulb went off in Frank's head. "Did he ask his mom to leave?" Mac, Dee, and Charlie nodded. Dennis was still reaching for the beer. He had been cursed with perfect length arms, unlike his sister's bird like arms.

"You almost broke her heart that night," Frank scolded Charlie, "Thank god I was there. We banged and she made me breakfast."

"We ate Mrs. Kelly's whore leftovers for dinner that night?" Dennis asked from the bar.

"Yeah. Do you really think I'd make you guys shit?"

This sidetracking had gone on long enough. Charlie shrieked to gain the attention back to him. He learned a few years ago that people would want to learn why someone was yelling. Sure enough, the gang (save for Dennis who fell over the bar) looked up at him.

"I think I want to have another party."

Charlie Almost Has Another Party

"There's a flaw in your reasoning," Dee told Charlie. It's been years and she was still unsure of his eye color.

"What would that be?"

"You need more friends besides us."

Charlie smiled. "I'm friends with more people. I can invite plenty."

"Oh. Oh really, Charlie?" Dee prodded, "Name anyone that's not The Waitress, Artemis, your mom, or your sister."

"I'd never invite my sister," Charlie said, "she's 12 and her dad is scared of me." Her father had primary custody.

Dennis stood up. "I think it could be fun with just us, Artemis, and Mrs. Kelly."

"Maybe I can start a three way," Frank thought allowed.

The rest of the gang said something along the lines of, "God, Frank, don't be gross."

"OK, no party," Charlie said.

"It's for the best, kid," Dennis told Charlie. Dennis was now standing next to Dee. Mac and Frank sat on either side of Charlie. Dee handed them each a beer, mostly so Dennis could see he should've asked her. He noticed, but shrugged and continued sipping on his own acquired beer. The gang drank together, one of many things they do together. The scheme together, hang out together, fake their own deaths, hunt people, join dance competitions, have sex with each others loved ones, and so many other things. The best is when they're just together, peacefully talking, and filling the lonely in each of their cold, sad hearts.

This is it, guys. The end. Like I said, I'll probably do another Sunny fic before long. I'll write for my Tumblr RP, and I'll do stuff with other shows.

Obvious disclaimer: I own noting. If I did, this would be an episode.

Thank you everyone who reviewed, favorited, or allerted this. It really means a lot.

I'd like being friends with a lot of you at some point, just because you could put up with my misspellings, etc. Is that bad?

Overall perception: I loved writing this.