His hands were coarse against my smooth skin. I wondered what he had been doing before he came here. Was he with Emily? Is Emily here? Probably, I thought, which stirred up my question.

"Where's Emily?" I asked blankly.

His hesitation was brief but it was there.

"Yes," he whispered.

Maybe he was just trying to spare my feelings. I was surprised I still had any emotional feeling left in me.

"Then go back to her," my voice came out more harsh then I expected but I didn't take it back.

"Lee-Lee…"

"Don't call me that!" I shouted, backing away from his grip on my face.

"I-I'm sorry," he said.

"No. You're not, Sam. You keep saying that but you're not. I know sorry, I'm always sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be more perfect for you, I'm sorry I couldn't be Emily and your imprint. I'm sorry my stupid phasing killed my father! And I'm sorry you have to listen to my crap all the time. The only time you're sorry is when you have nothing else to say. You're happy with Emily, Sam, so why be sorry? You love her." My voice was on the verge of hysterics.

I was shaking.

My body was like water in a pot.

Boiling as the flames intensified.

Shit! I cursed.

Stay in control, Leah. I thought.

Stay in control, don't lose control, focus!

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed to master this, I could fight this.

Don't phase. DON'T. PHASE.

My shaking calmed.

"Leah…" He said.

He moved closer to me and I scooted back.

I didn't want to be touched.

"You're right." He said – voice calm.

"What?" I asked.

"You're right. I am happy with Emily but you can't compare what we had to what Emily and I have." He stated. "What we had wasn't forced, it was natural. I loved you, Leah. Don't ever believe different."

He moved closer this time and I didn't flinch back.

His hand cupped one side of my face and I inhaled his scent.

"If what we had was so natural why couldn't you stay with me?" My voice cracked.

"I would have but… you don't know what it's like to imprint. You don't understand the feeling." He defended.

"Tell me then." I demanded.

"It's like feeling… whole, complete, for the first time in your life. When I was with you, Leah, I believed I was whole. I never would have guessed anything was missing, but that day, when I saw her I-"

"Stop," I interrupted - eyes watering.

"You need to hear me out, Leah." He said, smoothing gentle circles into my cheek. "This could happen to you and when it does…"

"… When it does?" I paused, contemplating my next question. "Will you be mad?" I finally asked.

"No, of course not, I'll be happy for you." His eyes weren't on mine anymore.

"Look at me and say it," I told him.

"I can't," he said.

"Say it," I demanded.

"I can't! I can't say I'll be happy for you, Leah. You're going to love someone else and forget what we had."

"You haven't forgotten." I contested.

"No, I haven't, but you will. You're stronger than I am, Leah. You always have been."

"If I was so strong you wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be here, and my dad most definitely wouldn't be here. He'd be home safe and alive."

"You're blaming yourself for something that was out of your control," was all he had to say.

"If I was strong enough, I would have been in control, Sam. With strength comes control," I pointed out.

"Your stubborn nature is strong enough," I heard him mumble, which made my already heated skin boil.

"I suppose it is strong enough. You're lucky I'm stubborn, Sam, because if I wasn't I wouldn't have fought against my brain just now to punch you square in the nose!" As my voice got louder, my body began to shake. I could feel my human form slipping away.

Slipping like the delicate drops of rain sliding down a rooftop.

I was ready to trade in my humanity for the monster taking comfort in its new home.

But I wouldn't allow my humanity to become the alien.

Stay in control, Leah. Stay in control. Think of Dad.

Dad…

I inhaled a long stream of air and briefly closed my eyes. Images of my father's shell flashed behind my lids. He was gone because of me, because I wasn't strong enough.

"I've lost everything, haven't I?" I asked, letting the tears fall.

"Oh Lee-Lee," he whispered frantically, before pulling me into his arms and pressing his smooth lips to my forehead, a familiar touch that I missed. "I'm so sorry," he said. It was an apology for many things, and, for the first time, I was ready to forgive. Without hesitation, I removed myself from his hold and scrambled my way up to stand. I needed to go back to Seth, and to my father. Seth was all alone with his guilt, and here I was getting placated to by a man that started the destruction of my heart. I could forgive but I would never forget.

The words "I know" was all I left him with, before running back in the direction that I came, heading towards the annihilation of my heart.