Chapter 7: Make lemonade

.oOo.

Each day Michael hoped to see her. At first he didn't even realize it until he found himself looking for about the eighth time at the entrances of the mess hall after the first day. That and he had stopped looking down but around him at others on his way to spar with Teyla or talk with Dr. Heightmeyer.

Next he wondered why. For certainly whenever he thought of her, it didn't bring him comfort. A new unease had developed on top of his others and he could only come to the conclusion that while in the brief time he was in her company he had felt relief. Similar to the kind he felt when listening to the music she had given him.

Michael gave a sigh, stopped playing with her hair band and stuffed it back into his pocket. Focusing on his meal he gave what he suspected was meat in an elongated bun a few testing pokes with his fork. Taking a bite of the hotdog, he decided he liked her because she didn't treat him like the others. More importantly she didn't look at him like the others.

On top of the increased feelings that something about him was not right. When more time passed without a word or glimpse of her, he found himself growing irritable. But he kept it in check. The last thing he wanted was to be jabbed with a bigger syringe. After the second day without seeing her in the mess hall or anywhere else, he stubbornly refused to look for her anymore and his eyes returned once again to the floor.

.oOo.

Meanwhile, unsure about what to do or say next, Gwen had given him space and tried to distract herself with other matters besides just work. Like cracking open a book. One that had nothing to do with physics, electronics or even science fiction.

She also wrote e-mails to each of her siblings. A hard task, given she could not go into any specifics and asking questions about how everyone was doing could only go so far. She struggled with what to write next until deciding to focus on describing the people she worked with and her social interactions with them.

But she made no mention of Michael even though, her sister would have certainly enjoyed a pleasant, hot and heavy description of him. If anything it would have reassured Josephine that at least her little sister was trying to live a little.

But Gwen could not. Sure Elizabeth had not mentioned a "no fraternization with Michael rule" exactly but Gwen decided to error on the side of caution. She also did not want her feelings to be shared. Since, for security reasons all outgoing correspondences were screened.

Sending off the messages felt right, yet with their departure the first wave of homesickness struck her. To manage the others bound to follow, Gwen had refocused on reading. Not wanting to dwell over how long it would take for her words to get to her family or how long it would take for her to receive a response. Gwen also began exercising more often. And she managed to attend a little movie party, thrown by Miko. The pure social time with her and a few other colleagues helped keep Gwen's mind off of home.

It took her three days before Gwen's curiosity got the best of her and she wanted her iPod back. John had offered to get it for her but she politely refused. Something about the way he pressed the matter although gently, had her digging in her heels.

Until Gwen decided when to get it back, she and Miko had avoided the mess hall till Michael had left. After the first day they had spotted him alone and slowly eating. His back to the entrance they had taken, he was looking at the large, stained glass, flamed shaped window and hadn't seen them.

Now, spotting the two guards nearby, she doubted they would let her talk with him. Still today she had to try and after grabbing her lunch she made a bee line to Michael. The guards gave each other uncertain looks when they realized her intention. Hesitant about what to do, one of them began talking into his earpiece. The other gave her a halting look. Gwen waited and watched the guard as he listened to whoever was on the other end.

Unable to hear what he was saying she studied his mouth and facial expression. And she was able to make out upon the man's lips, "Are you sure Dr. Weir? Yes, I understand." He broke off communication. Then gave Gwen a "you got to be crazy lady" look before he waved her the okay to proceed.

Even if she had the guards' and Elizabeth's approval, Gwen remembered her manners and asked, "Mind if I join you?"

Michael didn't look up but responded, "Depends on your purpose."

She decided on honesty with a dollop of flippancy for his sullen mood. "Boredom, will that do?"

Dryly he smiled and said, "Well then. You've come to the right table." And to prove his point he proceeded to ignore her.

Sitting down, she played along. Ignoring him too and absorbing herself in eating of her lunch. Michael snuck careful glances. Watching her as he mulled over the possible motives of why she would seek him out now and what did she have to gain from it. She pretended not to notice his scrutiny.

Finally he broke the standoff with, "Why are you here?"

She gave him a bemused look in order to finish the forkful of rice she had just taken before answering, "I thought we covered that already."

Crossing his arms, he gave one of the guards a knowing look. "She allowed you to join me, why?"

"No clue." Gwen took a drink of water and added, "And I really don't care."

"I do."

"Look, if you don't want me to be here, I'll-"

"Don't go," Michaels said quickly and he relaxed when she sat back down. "I have no problem with you. It's with them."

"Why? Why not look at the bright side? Maybe this means they're loosening up."

"I doubt it," he mumbled, thought a moment and frowned. Nodding at her iPod sitting next to his tray he guessed, "You want this back."

"Yes but just for a little bit, a day or two...can you stick it out till then?"

"So that is why you are here."

"Partly," she agreed loading up her fork for another bite. Grinning she asked, "Why did you really take my iPod?"

"Boredom, will that do?" he gave a small grin, took a drink of soda and made a face. The feeling of the bubbles as they tickled their way down when he swallowed, he found unpleasant.

Skeptical she snorted, "Ah so you do have a sense of humor but seriously why did you take it?"

He had nothing to gain from lying. Still the question gave him pause since he was not sure where to start. "Like I said, I didn't know what it was." Dropping his voice he finally admitted, "And also I thought it could be useful to... To maybe slip away. But-"

"Just that? I thought so," Gwen interrupted and tried to shrug it off. "But don't worry - no hurt feelings. Like I said before, I don't blame you."

But the way she kept her eyes to her plate and picked at the food on it, indicated she was hurt by something. At least a little and Michael didn't understand by what or why she was trying to hide it.

"You don't blame me?"

"Nope," she replied but continued to avoid eye contact.

Finally realizing what her problem was, Michael sighed in frustration. If she hadn't interrupted him in the first place there wouldn't have been a misunderstanding. In the hopes to smooth things out, Michael leaned forward. Placing his hand over hers finally got her attention as he whispered, "What was done was on impulse. I wanted to help you that came first. It has also been a most useful tool in allowing me to continue to speak with you and I'm glad you're here."

Gwen's brows rose as she blinked not so innocently, "Oh really? It's not just because it probably ran out of power yesterday? No wonder you're in such a bad mood."

Michael pulled away and demanded, "You tease me, why?"

"Hey," She was about to try and joke the question off but his expression was absolutely serious. Gwen didn't want to admit to him why, not yet and certainly not even to herself. Not when she felt his only motive to help her had been just to get something from her. On impulse or not, it didn't matter. Squashing the butterflies she denied, "I don't know. I guess I'm trying to cheer you up."

"It is not working."

Suddenly fed up with his sulky mood and now in one of her own, she started to cut the remainder of chicken breast on her plate. Into bite size pieces, with a little more force than necessary. As she worked she grumbled, "Well how about you stop taking everything and yourself so damm seriously then."

"Or what?"

"Or... You'll give yourself and everyone else heartburn or ulcers for starters." Around a piece of chicken she mumbled, "You know you have a choice about this situation you're in."

"I find that hard to believe when I am given none."

Gwen took her time, to finish chewing, all the while watching him. Swallowing, she at last explained, "I'm not talking about what they will or won't let you do, Michael. I'm talking about the other kind. The kind nobody can take from you no matter what. You always have a choice about how you react to a given situation. That goes for how you react emotionally too."

When he gave her a confused look she explained further. "You are the one choosing to be angry about this and what good is it doing you? Why not approach this in a different way and learn something, you know? The whole, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

Michael concentrated and just when she thought he was getting it he asked, "What are lemons?"

Gwen put her fork down and covered her face. Rubbing it and giving a sigh she thought, Wow! This is going to take some time. What in the hell did the wraith do to him?

.oOo.