Chapter 12: The Terrible Lie

.oOo.

He had learned the truth and the feelings of betrayal were overwhelming. Each day that passed without seeing Gwen he had found it harder to get to sleep. Even with their reassurances that she was only busy. The pills Carson had given him were not working either and Michael had headed to the infirmary to ask for something else. As the guard talked with a nurse, Michael walked to Carson's desk and found him sleeping.

But then the calendar with his name printed on it caught his eye. Michael found the coincidence very odd and it raised questions. Instead of waking Carson up, Michael forgot about sleep and looked about the desk and found a packet of disks labeled: PATIENT #4364: Lt. Michael Kenmore. Slipping them under his shirt into the waistband of his pants, Michael returned to his room with the guard. There using his lap top he watched parts of some of the disks and feeling he would soon be caught he skipped some and rushed to the disk labeled: Day 1. With horror he watched the truth play out before his very eyes.

"You made up everything! My name...the photograph of my parents..." he accused.

Teyla's words haunted him the most as he now ran from his guards and Ronan.

"You may not understand this now but making you human... I believe this could make your life better."

"Really?" He had threw back at who had thought was his friend. "Because from what I was told, you made me human in order to make your lives better."

She didn't say anything to argue that so Michael had asked another question. "So tell me then: what makes being human better than being a Wraith?"

"They are evil. They kill us, feed on us, show no mercy, know nothing of compassion-"

Interrupting Michael asked, "And humans are different?"

"Yes."

Michael had just shook his head, "So what you did to me-that was done out of compassion?"

The memories slipped away as he drew nearer to his destination. He didn't know how much time he had left. He had no delusions of surviving if Ronan was the first to reach him. Michael also had little hope he would be able to escape. So he opted for the next best thing: more answers. There was one person left he had yet been unable to question.

.oOo.

The alarm had Gwen jumping awake and clamoring out of bed for her clothes before she fully realized what she was doing. Two hours of sleep after a double shift at the lab, She groggily calculated from the clock's digital display. Absently, for a second she made note that the alarm wasn't coming from it. In the next however, she recognized it was from some emergency in Atlantis.

Instantly the remaining fog burned away in her mind. Fully awake with adrenaline coursing through her, Gwen rushed to get dressed. In just in her usual tank and underwear she bent and hastily felt around for her slacks on the chair. She didn't hear the door open behind her. Instead the sound of the alarm grew louder. She squinted, eyes watering from the sudden bright light spilling into her room. Blinking she tried to see who had entered. That was when he grabbed her, whirled her around and pinned her back against the wall.

"Michael!"

It took Gwen a moment to realize her feet were no longer touching the floor. Another to assume he was the reason the alarm had been raised and a third to know he wasn't about to let her go.

Clutching her upper arms, he had pulled her up to his eye level. Gone was the warmth, the friendliness and the kindness. Locked all away tight, behind the anger. She couldn't determine the key to it because the old one, she knew of no longer seemed to fit.

The door's usual soft hiss was drowned out as it automatically closed. Yet it muffled the alarm to its former volume. The act also slipped everything, into an intimate blackness. Blind, the tang of his sweat had her nostrils flaring. His fast breaths filled the silence between the alarm blares. All confirming, to her that he had been running hard.

Tense seconds past before she was able to make out his face again. While waiting for her eyes to adjust she had stretched but her feet had only found more air.

"What the hell are you doing?" Gwen whispered but harshly. His body only pressed against hers, smothering and too intimate. Arching her back, she tried to free herself. Giving up on finding footing, she pulled up her legs. Attempting to use them to kick or at least push him away.

It was useless. He was too close and too strong. Not even looking to be putting a full effort into holding her still. It was pointless to keep fighting so Gwen stopped and decided to save her strength. But she wasn't about to save her breath shouting, "Let me go!"

Michael shook his head and said very coolly, "No Gwen, I want answers."

Forcing herself to relax completely, she demanded again, "And I said, let me go!"

"Better?" Michael growled and slowly lowered her down. When he let go of her arms and stepped back, she took the opportunity. She threw a mock punch with her left. It was for his face but merely a distraction. For the real one came with her right, aimed lower for his diaphragm. The blow, if successful would slow him down. Enough so she could maybe have a shot at making a run for it or so she thought.

Smoothly, he shifted as if he knew what was coming. Without looking he caught her fist with his left hand and quickly body slammed her back into the wall. Before she thought to use her other hand, his wrapped around her neck. Not tightly, but just enough to tell her he was not fooling around. Feeling a bit of a headache coming on from hitting her head now twice against the wall, she knew it was the least of her concerns.

"Don't!" he warned her unnecessarily. "I didn't come here to spar. Besides, you are no challenge. I want answers!" Staring hard into her eyes he demanded, his voice echoed,"Now, who am I? Now, who am I? Now, who am I?"

With a mind suddenly fuzzy Gwen found herself saying simply, "Michael."

That answer didn't seem to satisfy him. Letting her go, he pressed into her and again used his body to pin her to the wall. Then with hands free, he cupped each side of her head firmly and sneered, "No... Tell me the truth!"

His agitation made him lose his focus. Trying to fight her way out of the now patchy haze she managed to ask. "What... Why are you...?"

Michael ignored the question to regain some of his lost control. Concentrating, he asked slowly his voice once again echoing. "Gwen let's start with, what did they tell you about me?What did they tell you about me? What did they tell you about me?"

Her eyes glazed over momentarily as she spoke, "Your name is Lieutenant Michael Kenmore... Texas... Close to where I..." Clearing momentarily Gwen choked out angrily, "Stop it!"

He didn't, although he was starting to get tired. Gwen's mind shuddered with rage and Michael seriously doubted he could probe it much longer. "Did they tell you the truth? The truth? The truth? Did you know that I am Wraith? I am Wraith? I am Wraith?"

Her thoughts reared and clawed at his. Panicked at what he had revealed and asked. Gritting her teeth with effort, Gwen tried to grab his wrists and draw up a leg again. To do anything to get free but it felt like she was moving in water. She wanted to tell him, "Go to hell!" But instead she found herself coughing out, "No!"

"Do you think I'm something sick and wrong that needs to be cured? Needs to be cured? Needs to be cured?"

The intensity of his demand made her eyes roll back and her mouth work in effort to form the words. She finally managed, "No remember... Another way... ch-ch-choices."

The last part to her garbled answer, Michael left to analyze later. Now he needed all of his energy to keep from losing his hold. Gwen had stopped struggling but not within her mind and by no longer diverting her focus, the first wall of defense he slammed into hard. Michael winced in pain but hung on as her thoughts thrashed about. The intensity of her various chaotic emotions crashed into him like physical blows. If he was in his true form Michael wondered if he would have been able to block the pain they caused. If not at least to calm her down. But he could not wait out the storm and press swiftly with, "Then why did you stop visiting me?Why did you stop? Why did you stop?"

Infuriated by what he was now doing, the last thing she wanted to do was admit how much she still cared. How she had tried. How it had hurt when the guards had turned her away and the worry she felt at Elizabeth's news. It took everything to press her lips together and not answer.

"Tell me the truth!" he shouted in her face.

"They didn't... They lied to me too!" She felt the words being torn out. It reached the point of hurting more to fight it than admit the truth. Reluctantly giving up, the rest spilled out of her easily. "First McKay loaded me up with work. But I got through it - practically killed myself so I could see you! Then I found out I had no choice! They wouldn't - said it was for my own protection. They said you were becoming unstable! Delusional! Now let go of me dammit!"

They were both breathing very hard now and when he tried to oblige, she almost fell. Unable to stand on her own anymore, her mind and thoughts were too scattered from trying to fight his questions.

"Not yet," Michael decided and dragged her away from the wall. He continued to hold her tightly, putting his arms around her waist. She felt soft, so very warm and damp. The smell from her sweat filled his nostrils and still for the most human, his mind and body reacted to her, to both of their surprise.

Feeling him, she gasped and closed her eyes. Clenching her teeth she tried to move but her arms wouldn't even respond. At least she could still talk. Shaking her head in denial the words came out small but urgent, "Now I know your not. You're not! You can't be one of them!"

He didn't respond. Just cupped the back of her head and forced her to face him again. He said nothing to her and just stared until reluctantly she opened her eyes and returned the gaze. His anger was still there but in rubble, revealing pain and hurt. Finally he stated in hardly a whisper, "Gwen... I'm a wraith."

The truth of it felt like a punch to her solar plexus. Knocking the air out of her lungs as everything around her sharpened and slowed down.

"What do you think of me now?"

The question snapped her to attention. Her mind was completely clear. A fragile vulnerability laced his features. He looked about to shatter. There was no demand for truth. He only asked and even for herself she didn't have the answer. With watery eyes searching over his face she could only say, "I don't know. See everything – see every part Michael."

Understanding he nodded and she felt the strange pressing sensation into her mind again. This time she did not try to fight it since he was only doing what she demanded of him. "What do you think of me now?Think of me now? Think of me now?"

"I don't care," Gwen finally admitted in a small cry. Then she started to tremble. Not in fear over what she had just admitted but in utter sadness, trying desperately to hold back the anguish, in order to deal with the situation each of them was now in.

But release came when Michael pushed her head to his shoulder. Not wanting to see her tears or let her see the shimmer which threatened to spill from his eyes. But soon the hot trails were slipping down his cheeks as hers dampened his neck while he clung to her tightly.

They said nothing. Only savored what little time they had, not being watched by others, to just hold one another. He rocked her slowly, almost in a dancing way as he hummed softly. Gwen joined him, lifted her head from his shoulder and pressed a weak smile against his ear to whisper, "We're in this together now..."

In hers he murmured in agreement, "Even after everything." It felt too soon when next he reluctantly loosened his grip upon her. Yet he didn't let go adding, "I can't live like this and not be free. And they-"

She pressed finger tips to his lips and whispered, "I understand."

Stroking away the wetness on her face with the back of his fingers, he realized something. He gave a slow smile, bent and cupped her jaw in his hand. And so tender he laid upon her lips, one chaste and careful kiss. Gwen trembled but for it to deepen. He did as well yet the concern of getting caught again had him pulling too soon away.

"No... More," Gwen insisted and grabbed a hold of the front of his shirt. At his hesitant but amused look she reasoned, "No cameras... Nobody is here... It's just-"

Michael didn't need her to finish the comment and kissed her, hard. The attack bruised both of their lips. It was also a little clumsy at first, since he didn't know exactly what to do. The movie he had seen and Gwen were his only guides but he was as always, a quick learner. Following her lead, his tongue met hers steadily and their kiss deepened with each thrust.

Arms wrapped around his neck, she drew a leg caressing up his. Letting out a growl deep in his throat, Michael cupped her bottom with a hand. Then he shoved her back into the wall for a third time while his other still deep into her hair protected her head from knocking into it.

Gwen lips broke from his. Only enough to let out a gasp of surprise as he ground his pelvis into hers fiercely. Their mouths relocked onto one another's and without hesitation Gwen pulled up her other leg. Wrapping both around him she opened herself for him to settle between completely.

It didn't take Michael long before he started to press into her again and again slowly. Feeling his hard need Gwen cried out her own, into his mouth, "I want you..." Even though time was possibly running out, Michael couldn't stop. He let out a low groan as she started to eagerly arch her hips to meet him. Through the few layers of cloth between them, he could feel a heat growing between her thighs.

Slowly as they kissed, Gwen worked her hand down him, fingers teasing as they searched. Then finding his belt line, she started to tug at his black shirt. Michael, feeling her fingers exploring his bare skin sucked in a hiss and ground against her harder.

They both stilled instantly at what they heard coming. Someone was walking down the hall towards her door. It had them pulling away but only enough for air. Yet both held their breath and staring into one another's worried eyes they waited as the footsteps kept coming closer and closer.

Nervously, Michael shifted his weight from one foot to another. Back and forth he moved as he listened. Unaware that he was rubbing just the right spot, until he felt her hand slip farther under his shirt and spreading wide, need lit her eyes.

His heart hammered under her palm. A part of him wanted to laugh but settled for just giving her a cocked brow and an equally hungry grin. Slowing down just a little he compensated by grinding into her a little harder. Even in throws, she registered the tease. Mirroring his expression, Gwen dug her nails into the skin of his chest harder, pressing for more.

Gritting his teeth he demanded huskily, "More! I need you... Show me!" He gasped when she shoved him back, thinking at first she was rejecting him but then felt her hands slide down and work to open his belt. Seconds later he jumped a little feeling her hand pulling him free and guiding him. Staring into his eyes, she boldly jerked his hips forward and watched his reaction. Suddenly he felt as if his whole body was engulfed in exquisite fire. Without knowing what to do next he pulled out a little bit and his jaw dropped at the sensation.

"Again," was all she needed to say. Michael pushed into her again and felt his eyes rolling back. Kissing her, soon found himself bucking into her wetness again and again.

"Like this?" he gasped and kept moving unable to stop, it felt too good.

"Harder," she commanded, locked her lips over his once more while rubbing her hand over his heaving chest.

Michael with a low moan into her mouth happily obeyed. It wasn't long before Gwen let out a small strangled sound and broke the kiss. Eyes wide, she didn't look away but into his and started to shudder. Then she began to kiss him again, urging him to keep going. Grasping her legs around him tighter she pulled him with her over the edge.

It felt like he was falling as something rushed through every cell in his body. A surge of power washed through him as he convulsed. Throwing his head back, Michael bit back the shout and it came out choked. His already closed eyes squeezing tighter as his legs felt like they were about to give out. Michael groaned and pressed his flushed face into the crook of her neck. Luckily for both of them, he regained his footing quickly. And as the smell of her and the ginger like fragrance filled his nostrils, his hips gave one last strong lurch.

They barely registered the footfalls from outside the door reach a climax then start to fade away. Both were too caught up in recovering from their own. In relief Michael eased back a little and opened his eyes. Then he pressed his damp forehead to hers. The gusts of their fast breaths cooled their flushed faces.

"That was..." Michael breathily trailed off.

Gwen finished for him, equally winded. "That was... close." It took some time before she could loosen her legs, from around his waist and tried to return her feet to the floor.

Both shaky, neither one of them could let the other go just yet. They first had to catch their breath. All the while each taking turns to gently kiss and caress the other. Shifting he realized he was still deep inside of her but had no desire to leave.

Recovering first he nodded, "Yes... It was."

She hadn't caught her breath and she still had trouble standing when he tried to release her. Seeing it, he helped her to the bed and it took everything in him not to join her. Instead after carefully setting her down, he reluctantly let her go and freed himself.

After making quick use of her bathroom, he rejoined her. During that time she had managed to pull her pants on but sat quietly, holding herself. From the door way he paused and made note of the tremble in her frame as she looked out the window. Her lips parted, hearing him draw near and she looked up to meet his eyes. He drew so close, yet he couldn't bring himself to touch or kiss her again and neither could she. Because they both knew it wouldn't stop at that. They didn't declare or promise one another anything. They also didn't say goodbye.

Something was now different between them and they both couldn't quite even begin to put it into words. And given the circumstances it was far worse than love. Watching him make his way to the door, Gwen wanted to call out. To stop and warn him or in some way to help him escape or beg him to stay but she didn't. She could only let him go. Although what her people done to him was questionable, she had her orders and she reasoned it was highly unlikely she would ever see him again.

Door opened, he glanced up and down the corridor then to her and paused. They stared at one another trying to burn every detail of each other into their memories.

"Just go," she urged sadly. "I won't let them know you were here, at least not for another five minutes."

He didn't appear hurt at all by what she said. Instead after one more long look, he simply offered, "Gwen trust me even though... I can be a nightmare of the grandest kind." And then without a backward glance he left.

As soon as the door slid closed behind him, Gwen squeezed her eyes shut at his words and wondered if he would understand her lie. Giving him a five minutes head start would not only raise more suspicions but questions too if discovered. And the last thing Gwen wanted was to be sent home. Sadly, she reached for her headset by the alarm clock so that she could dutifully report his location immediately. But picking it up, she hesitated at putting it on.

A thought suddenly occurred to her, I could always say I wanted to be sure he was gone before... Precious seconds ticked by as she tried to determine what would be the right thing to do.

But not far outside, Gwen heard muffled voices. All she could make out was who they belonged to, one was Michael's and the other belonged to one of his guards. Shakily she got up and took a tentative step towards the door. Four very quick gun shots yanked her to a halt. She didn't hear or feel the headset drop from her hand. She only heard a body drop to the floor.

"No," she whispered in denial and horror. The memory of him picking up a gun from her desk near the door and how he had quickly tucked in the back of his pants before he left, washed over her. With stomach lurching, Gwen took a few hesitant steps, eyes glued to the closed door.

The distinct sound of a powering up Sateda weapon made a scream lock in her throat. The discharge that came next, a second thud of another body left her trembling and going very cold.

"Ronan no! Michael!" she cried out in alarm and rushed to the door. But then her foot came down wrong on something hard with strings. She remembered falling before pain exploded inside her head and the world instantly winked away.

.oOo.

Chapter End Notes:
Obviously I took some liberties with the amount of time he was able to elude capture. ;)

Dialogue between Michael and Teyla quoted from Season 2: Episode: Michael.