Chapter 14: Deep

.oOo.

Dr. Carson Beckett let out a sigh of relief as he tied off the sixth and final stitch to the deep cut on Gwen's scalp. John and Teyla hovered at the doorway. John catching Carson's eye asked, "How is she?"

"I'm fine, Sir," Gwen answered for him and tried to get off the medical bed.

Carson soothed, "Whoa take it easy there, dear. Let's move nice and slow. We don' want you to take a fall again." He prevented her from getting to her feet but instead helped her to just sit up. He paused taking note how she had not flinched at his touch. With a relieved nod he ordered, "Stay put for a wee bit, I'll be right back."

Once at his desk and out of earshot of Gwen, Carson reported to John and Teyla who followed, "She's a mild concussion but no skull fracture."

Confused John wondered aloud, "But what about all of that blood?"

"Nothing bleeds like the scalp," Teyla explained. Then remembering the blood she saw on the desk, the boots and the position they had found her in she added, "I don't think Michael caused her head injury."

"Yeah, so I heard repeatedly," John grudgingly answered and jerked his head at Gwen.

Taking off his gloves while watching her now calm demeanor, Carson put his two cents in. "Well, I do believe that at the very least she's believes she's tellin' the truth."

"So, is Michael to blame or not?" John asked glancing to her and back to Carson.

"Directly? No," Carson added as he washed his hands.

John didn't look so pleased and grumbled, "Wait a sec. So what do you mean by that?"

Drying his hands Carson explained. "What I trying to say is, I don' think he pushed or threw her at the desk. If he had I doubt she'd be conscious now and would have at least sustained a skull fracture. What I'm also trying to say is we don' know what all he did to her. Her encounter with him was most likely rather stressful. Then hearing what happened outside her door might have been the last straw."

"So, she what... Fainted? Sorry doc, I'm still not ready to buy Michael not hurting her just yet."

"She most likely tripped over her boots John," Teyla interjected. "I've spared with Michael and know what he's capable of. Like Carson said, if he was responsible, the trauma to her head would be greater. Ask yourself, why are there no other injuries?"

John frowned and studied Gwen before she shyly looked away. Reluctantly he asked, "Are you absolutely sure there aren't you know... Other injuries?"

Teyla's eyes widened in alarm. "You don't think that he..." In horror of the possibility, she couldn't finish the question.

Understanding Carson's voice dropped for modesty sake. "She isn' givin' off any of the indicators of being raped. But I haven' broached the matter with her just yet. Besides the minor head injury, there's nothin' beyond some finger bruises on her arms. And I really don' think anythin' happened given her clothing were intact when we found her."

Although relieved, John said forcefully, "Good."

Quite serious Carson added, "I can instruct one of the other doctors, if you'd like to run a more thorough examination-"

"Just ask her okay. Let's not put her through anything more than what's happened already." John looked to them both and added, "How about we focus on what's important here. It's over, she's okay and killing one of my men has just bought Michael a one way ticket to the Alpha Site."

As John left, Teyla and Carson shared a quick knowing look. It was far from over and Gwen was not exactly, okay.

.oOo.

While stitching her head Carson asked few if any questions. But by the way he was heading to her now after a private talk with John and Teyla, Gwen felt he was about to ask more.

"Ah now, I don' have much time. I need to leave soon. I think you'd know why I need to talk with you."

Feeling trapped, Gwen again tried to get up and denied, "No, I don't. It can wait. I'll be fine-thanks for stitching me-ouch!"

It didn't take him much effort to get her sitting her back down. But she noticed how he frowned worriedly at how much she was shaking and took a look at her ankle.

"Please dear, don' be difficult. You're in no shape to go anywhere. Stay a bit or I can leave and Dr. Weir can question you while another doctor takes a scan of this."

Gwen winced at the idea, how it hurt when Carson started to test her swollen joint's range of motion and agreed, "In that case Dr. Beckett, ask away."

"Very good, I do apologize for it bein' so soon. But in light of what has all happened I think you'd understand. I need you to be honest with me Gwen. When Michael -"

"He came into my quarters. I remember that."

Hesitantly Carson dipped his head and encouraged, "That's good you do but we don' know more and I was hoping you could fill me in. Please, could you tell me what happened after that?"

Gwen looked about for a moment to collect her thoughts. That and to decide what not to tell him. "He was upset," she started and chewed her lower lip. "About what was done to him," she paused looked up and expected the last part to invoke some type of reaction. But to her surprise it did not.

Instead Carson kept his expression of concern. It seemed genuine as he continued, let go of her foot and questioned, "Did he threaten or hurt you in anyway, dear?"

Gwen paused as the memories replayed and reluctantly admitted, "A little bit but even when I tried to hurt him, he only wished to restrain me. He never hit me even though I tried to. He was very... intimidating. He pressed me up against the wall and... Asked me if I knew what he was. That if I was a part of it."

"So he told you?"

She nodded and felt her eyes start to water, "Everything. So it's true? He's... really a wraith?" Gwen felt foolish for asking. She remembered all too clearly him probing her mind for answers. But a small part of her still hoped it somehow wasn't true. She still hoped there was some other explanation, anything that would make everything seem all right again.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I honestly didn't think the retro-virus would work so well. We were also surprised that he had forgotten who he was," Carson confirmed and then proceeded to explain everything.

While he did, the small helpless hope within her let out a death cry. Face blank at the shock of it, she half listened to the details of Michael's capture, the retro-virus and how it was developed. The last two he described in layman's terms mainly for security purposes before prodding her to tell him more.

"When he asked you, what did you tell him?"

"At first I tried not to say anything. But the way he asked seemed so... It was so forceful. He put his hands to my head and I couldn't..." At Carson's face turning grim, Gwen finished saying, "I tried to fight it."

"Yes, I'm sure you did. This is unfortunate. He must have regained some of his abilities."

Gwen nodded and whispered, "On my way here aboard the Dadualus, I read they can manipulate the mind to a certain extent. Even make you see things that aren't there."

"Yes," Carson added, "When they are in close proximity they also use their abilities when they need to interrogate someone. I'll certainly have to advise sedating him and adjust his dosage," Carson added offhandedly and requested, "Please continue."

"I said his name, told him where I thought he was from and asked him why he was doing it," Gwen felt a tear slip down her cheek. Frustrated she swatted it dry. "I told him the truth. He realized I didn't know. Then I think he left." Gwen finished the last part a poor lie.

"You think?"

"Yes," Gwen faked a look of intense concentration at her swollen ankle and lied, "It's a little hazy after that."

Carson's eyes narrowed in suspicion. But instead of drilling her, he decided to play along, "So after that he didn't hurt you?"

Gwen could only nod her head and try and move her foot. The sharp pain that shot up her leg however did not distract her from the press of his stare. The silence as he waited for her to say more became unbearable. When she finally met Carson's eyes, she saw the gentle and frustrated concern in them. Gwen closed hers and thought, Crap! Does he know?

Giving him a pleading look, she stressed. "I'm telling you the truth, Michaeldidn't hurt me. Yes he did restrain me and question me but after that we... We said our goodbyes. It got... A little out of hand-we kissed and-but not..." Gwen squirmed and flushed, trying to find the most delicate and convincing way to put it. She decided on, "Not to a point where... Another problem could become a concern."

Ever the doctor Carson had little problems asking, "So you didn' engage in sexual activities?"

Making a split decision, Gwen did not hesitate or regret the following lies, "We did not. And since nothing happened, I hope the matter of kissing him doesn't have to be anybody else's business. I know what he is now but if this gets out I worry that others will not trust me due to it. If you feel or already have reported your suspicions I understand. But I'm asking you a favor, to please keep this between us."

Carson lips pressed tighter together but then coming to a conclusion he gave an agreeing nod, "Very well. I too don' see the need of it to go beyond you and I. But I want you to be truthful with me, what happened after you said your goodbyes-as you call it."

"Shortly after he left, I heard voices. I got up but it was strange... I couldn't move. And..." Gwen thought hard but then shook her head. "I..."

"You don' remember past that point?"

"No, what happened?"

"We're guessing you possibly fainted and hit your head."

"I did?" She made a face of disgust. "You're kidding right?"

"No, I'm quite serious."

Gwen shook her head eyes narrowing and argued, "I don't faint."

Carson with brows high pressed, "Ah apparently you do. Well, during your goodbyes you may have hyperventilated a wee bit."

Her cheeks burned as she mumbled, "Oh."

"Yes dear, doing that can result in light headedness and in turn fainting." To Gwen's glare, Carson raised his hands in supplication, adding quickly. "Well, yes but when combined with what happened after he left, I don't blame you for getting tipsy and takin' a knock."

"Hyperventilated?" Her mind flashed unexpectedly to being in Michael's arms again. To how hard both of them had been breathing.

Seeing her mind wander, Carson pursed his lips. Working them and blinking rapidly, he commented aloud, "Yes that's correct."

His small grimace brought her back to reality. Blushing she inquired, "Wait… what did you mean by, 'what happened after he left.' Is he okay? John and Teyla wouldn't tell me anything specific."

"Yes, he's in a holdin' cell at the moment."

"Can I see him?"

"He was unconscious from the stun blast when I last saw. As for you seein' him again? No I don't think that is wise, dear." Carson paused, swallowed and continued, "You see, shortly after he left your quarters Michael ran into one of his guards, a Sergeant Andrew Cole. He shot the man four times. Gwen, I'm sorry..."

His expression said everything. The man was dead and Michael was the cause of it. Even though she was sitting down, the room seemed to tilt. Carson squeezed her free hand and got the rest of it over with. "Before escaping and coming to you, he also seriously injured another."

Carson waited. To allow Gwen time to let the words sink in. He watched the color drain from her face. "I don't understand... How? Why?"

"He's-"

Gwen shook her head, too fast to be anything but a form of denial. "I know what you're going to say! But that doesn't automatically mean that-what was it? Was it in self-defense or not?"

Crossing his arms, Carson reluctantly admitted, "We honestly don't know. Nobody witnessed it. But..." He debated over telling her how Ronan found Michael squatting next Sergeant Cole's body, sniffing the man's blood from his fingertips.

"But what?"

"Nothing, um I just had hoped perhaps you could have given us somethin' more on the matter. But perhaps, in time you'll remember another bit." He paused then whispered, "Gwen I know you care about him. But you must not let that cloud your judgment, if anything for your own safety, just in case."

That snapped her out of the shock. "Just in case of what? My safety?" Gwen snorted, "When did that finally become an issue?"

"It always was. Surely you understand now, why we never allowed him to be unescorted. Besides, after he gave you his apology we never asked you to-"

"Don't," Gwen snapped at him. Then looking away she managed an even tone, "Please Dr. Beckett. I would like to be alone now, if you don't mind."

"I don' but between you and me, for what it's worth I didn't want you involved in this. I don' like any of this, just as much as you."

Gwen didn't voice the questions. If that was true, then why didn't you do something to prevent it? Why did you go along with this cruel experiment to begin with? She just didn't have the heart. Dr. Beckett was well liked and very kind. The comforting lilt in his voice was a balm on her anger.

Dully she asked, "Have you perfected the retrovirus?"

"In a way, yes I did. But it's no cure yet, just a treatment. But without this research, John would have been lost to us due to Ellia. She was a wraith girl we encountered that was raised by a human. She did not want to feed so we were going to try and cure her. But she couldn't wait and took my untested retrovirus. It mutated her. She became very unstable and aggressive. She attacked Sheppard and from those wounds he became infected with the Iratus bug DNA." When she remained stubbornly silent to that Dr. Beckett tried to say something more.

But he was interrupted by an incoming message from John, "Doc are you coming?"

"I'm on my way." Dr. Beckett answered then to Gwen ordered. "We'll have to talk 'bout this mess later with Dr. Heightmeyer."

Gwen nodded and apologized, "I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. You are right. None of you asked me to keep seeing him."

"Not to worry dear, I understand." He patted her hand reassuringly. "I'll try to keep you informed with how he is doing."

Watching him leave she added, "Oh Doc?"

He paused, "Yes?"

"I did not faint... I must have tripped over my dam boots."

Carson gave her a weak smile and left. Alone Gwen replayed the past weeks' events of her brief but always pleasant encounters with Michael. And now, she looked upon them with a whole new perspective.

She now knew why he didn't seem particularly worried about Ronon. Why he was surprised by her kindness and her lack of fear. Why he always hesitated before offering his hand to others. Looking at his palms when he thought nobody was watching. How he stroked the center of hers and the comments he had made about them. She wondered if it had been a part of Wraith courtship that he had done unconsciously. He hadn't remembered but he always was aware that he was somehow different.

She had no delusions about what Michael was, yet a part of her couldn't help but to rear a clinical head in morbid fascination. On the way to Pegasus Galaxy she had read and reread carefully all of the reports involving the Wraith. To join the expedition as well as for her job it was required. But besides just focusing on his species' technology, she had also spent a great deal of time speculating over their culture. She even took the time to research the few theories others had come up with but still very little was known of their daily lives and habits despite all the intelligence gathered.

But there was plenty of horror to be found in every picture. Of what they looked like and what they had done to their victims told her why. Fighting what seemed monsters, for the right to no longer be their cattle, gave her species little motivation to try to understand or have compassion for them.

Gwen understood why. An instinctual response to remove or destroy a threat before refection and study had served her kind well. Honed into a dominate behavior by sheer elimination of those who were too curious or too careless.

Still rubbing her chest, it felt hollow and she wondered if the Michael she came to know and love was now in danger of dying. Would his brief human life be consumed entirely if the iratus genes was allowed to resurface once again? Or would something remain?

"But how can that be?" She asked herself and shivered over what Michael had done just moments after he had left her room.

.oOo.

Chapter End Notes:
"I figured you'd forget to set it to stun." said by John is a quote from the Episode Michael.