A/N: My first Gravitation fic. I hope you like it!
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Disclaimer: I don't own the novel, the anime or the characters. But I do own the brain that helped me write the plot (hehe).
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It's an angst piece brought about by an unrequited love for Shuichi.
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I told him once that I will never forgive him if he ever made my best friend cry other than from his own stupidity. I did that because I am his friend, but was that all I ever really meant? I know I care for him and I know that he cares for me too; but that care is never enough, because now, I want more—not the care that a friend gives to another but more than that—a care that one gives to a lover.
But a friend… that's all I ever will be to him…
Shuichi and I, we were always inseparable. He and I were together since we were kids, and that didn't change even after I found out he was gay. I accepted who he was thinking that mere gender would never replace everything that we went through all the years. Yes, he is like a kid, naïve, innocent and kind—he's like that, always was and always will be. It could be annoying at times, me being his conscience, his brain, his brother and keeper all at the same time was hard work but that didn't stop me from loving him.
And what was stupid was that I actually believed that in time he would learn to love me too. But then Eiri Yuki had to come along and mess it all up.
And now, where am I supposed to stay? What role do I have now? When I know that someone else is standing beside the man I love.
"Hiro! Yuki and I are going out to celebrate our new album and his new book; do you want to come along?"
I smile as I hear his excited tone; I haven't seen him this happy before. And somehow, even though it hurts to admit it, Yuki did do him some good; he has this certain glow that seems to light up every room he enters and leaves a feeling of happiness to everyone who comes a mile of his presence. And so, as much as I want to spend time with him, I cannot be the third wheel in this game anymore.
"No, it's ok. Today is both your day; go have fun, I'll see you tomorrow"
I cannot endure another pain, seeing them together is like having my heart stabbed a million times.
And now I make myself a predicament. I will walk away and continue standing in the side-lines. Because that's who I am and will always will be to Shuichi.
Maybe some day I will find the right one for me, that someone who will take this heart of mine and mend it. Heal it even if it takes a million pieces to recover it, then I'll find him and someday be happy like them and I won't be standing in the sidelines anymore.