A/N: Thank you all for the kind reviews, on this one and on my other little Jensen short. Thank you especially to gottalovealoser. She's got to be my favorite reviewer of any of my stories - she just makes me laugh so much! You guys keep me motivated to continue writing, and I only hope I don't disappoint! :)
Jensen stumbles through the woods, dragging the half-conscious hostage beside him. Both men are coated in various amounts of blood, almost none of which is actually coming from Jensen. He talks animatedly, a huge smile on his face.
"This – I think you outdid yourself on this one, Clay. I mean, my idea was okay, but this is sooo much better. I mean look at me! I look like a total bad-ass! I get to be, like, the Hulk, the Punisher, and Robo-Cop all combined into this crazy, super scary, tripped-out dude. I am loving this plan. Just have Spunky Barney take me in? - psshh, what the hell was I thinking? That would've been totally obvious, everyone on both teams being wiped out except for one guy. Clearly I was not thinking straight when I came up with that one. Got to stay on my game."
"Jensen, you're getting close to the compound," Clay cuts in.
"I know! I bet when I get there, they're gonna piss themselves. Maybe they'll be so impressed with what's it turned me into that they'll just keep the virus how it is. Actually turn it into a super-soldier enhancement sorta deal, right?... Ya know, when I get the sample, with a few modifications I could just-"
"No. You're going to destroy it. All of it. That's an order."
"I know, I know. Sheesh, it was just a joke. You've really gotta lighten up, Clay. Keep going like that and you'll have a heart attack before you're….wait, how old are you, anyway? Oh man, how many birthday presents have I missed? You always celebrate my birthday. Of course, I have a tendency to make it painfully obvious when my big day's coming up. I do like a good party."
"Jensen! Quit running your damn mouth before someone hears you."
"I really don't think I can. I'm working on overdrive or something. Normally I'd chalk this up to nervous energy, but even I can keep my mouth shut when I really need to. I'd say this is another round of mini-robos playing let's-poke-the-Jensen-brain. I keep telling myself to shut the old trap, but the order just isn't getting through. I guess I could just stop here for a little while until it passes…"
Clay thinks for a second before answering. "Can you switch gears? Focus that energy into your role?"
"Ha ha! You're a smart man, Clay. I guess that's why you're the one in charge, huh? The one with allll the plans. I can definitely go De Niro mode, here. Or – ooh – Jack Nicholson. Yeah, that'd be better for the part. A little 'here's Johnny' action should do the trick. What do ya think, there, Spunky Barney? No opinion? Ah well, everyone's a critic, right?"
Pooch's voice cuts in next. "Do we have to yell 'action' or something, here? Get your ass into character before somebody shoots your damn mouth off."
"Oh, come on, they won't shoot me. They have orders to bring me in, remember? I am practically untouchable."
"Jensen!" Clay, Pooch, and Aisha all shout at the same time.
"All right, all right, no need to yell. Buncha buzzkills… Oh, hey, I think I see someone up ahead. Yep, I definitely see someone. And here…we….go." He pulls out his earpiece and drops it into the bushes before moving forward.
"Finally," Aisha mumbles.
Jensen pushes his charge in front of him, turning the man into essentially a human shield as they get closer to the two guards in the clearing ahead. He calls out to them before they get a chance to see him, pitching his voice up higher than normal and altering his tone to one of such desperation and anguish that he almost sounds belligerent.
"Hey! Hey, you fucking pricks!" They turn immediately, pointing their guns at him. He keeps moving forward, careful to keep his hostage in front of him. "You gonna shoot me? Huh? Well go right the fuck ahead! Shoot the fucking package! That's all I am now, right? The package? 'Cause I'm sure as hell not anything else! Not after…not after…" He wipes his forehead with the back of one shaky, blood-covered hand, drawing it back down to stare at it. The two guards throw a questioning glance at each other, keeping their guns steadily trained on him until he suddenly starts laughing maniacally. They jump at the sound before regaining their composure, one of them placing a finger to his earpiece.
"Sir, we, uh, we think we've attained the package…No, sir, he came to us…Yes. He's got Peters with him… They probably wiped out the rest of Clay's unit-"
"What?" Jensen says with a dangerously low tone, abruptly cutting off his laughing fit. "You think this dipshit could actually take down my team? You think any of those assholes could take us out? They were nothing! Easier to squash than ants on a picnic table… In fact, now that Peters, here, led me back to you boys, I don't need him anymore, do I?"
With one swift movement, he wraps his arms around Peters' head and twists, hard. The sound of the neck snapping makes the guards flinch and take a step back, raising their guns to aim at Jensen's head.
"Holy shit, did he just kill Spunky Barney?" Pooch asks. "What the hell is he doing?"
"He's in character," Clay utters.
"Playing his part a little too well, isn't he?" Pooch counters.
"I'm not sure he knows he's playing anymore," Aisha answers.
"He doesn't," Cougar agrees.
Undaunted by the guns, Jensen takes another step forward, keeping his voice low, almost feral. "You wanna know who took out my team? Who's responsible for killing the great Colonel Clay and his rogue band of losers? We were supposed to be untouchable, right? Right? Well I'll tell you something. We weren't untouchable from the inside. Roque, man, he could've done it. If he hadn't made everything so damn complicated, he could've killed every one of us. He just didn't act fast enough." He looks at his hands again before continuing in a more detached voice. "Just had to move fast, catch them off guard. No thinking, no drawn-out plans… Just swish, swish, swish with the knife, one after the other. They didn't even get the chance to scream…" His eyes fill up with tears as he looks up at the guards. "I did that!" he shouts, making them jump again. "I killed them, all because of your damn virus! I couldn't stop it! I couldn't… Just get it the fuck out of my head!"
He drops down to his knees in the dirt, breathing heavily, his eyes staring straight ahead at nothing. After a few seconds, one of the guards steps forward, reaching to his belt to pull out his handcuffs. Jensen doesn't seem to notice. Ever so carefully, with his partner covering him, the guard binds Jensen's hands behind his back and stands him up.
"We're bringing him in, sir," the other guard affirms. "Yes, sir, he's secured."
Jensen flashes his eyes up at the man, an odd smile on his face and a deep, almost inaudible laughter rumbling in his throat. The guard stumbles over his next words. "Uh, s-sir. Request for backup… Yes, I did say he was secure, but he seems, uh, unstable… Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
Jensen simply laughs a little louder as he allows the men to lead him back towards the compound. Aisha, Clay, Pooch, and Cougar look on from their hidden positions in the trees.
"Well. That was…disturbing," Pooch says.
"Just hope he snaps out of it," Aisha states. "If he got it in his head that he really killed us, it's going to be one hell of a shock when we jump in there to save his ass."
"If we don't get moving, it won't matter," Clay points out. "Let's go, losers, we've got a schedule to keep. He's counting on us."