A/N: Yeah so, I don't have the patience for once a week, especially with the massive case of insomnia I have going on. I don't care what she says I just can't do it. Updates will be every couple of days or every other day. I'll try to space it out but, eh... Anyway, wanted to address an unsigned review briefly. No Voldemort won't be affected by Harry's new creature status. Why? Because he's dead. I stated so more than once in the first chapter.

Last Time...

"That, my boy, is where the complication lies."

The lack of twinkle that accompanied that phrase told Harry that he wasn't going to like what was coming...

And sure enough…

"Well Harry, there really is no way to simplify this, so do forgive the long-winded explanation. Nokkes, as I said before, are very rare creatures. Add that to your submissive status-"

"Submissive, how do you know that?"

"Your appearance is rather effeminant." Dumbledore answered promptly. "Of course, that isn't definitive so we had Madam Pomfrey run a few scans. They indicated that you now have the capability to bare children-"

"Woah, wait a minute! Hold the phone! I can bear children? As in, get pregnant and give birth?"

"Yes. Isn't it wonderful?" His eyes were back to twinkling again.

"Not exactly the word I would use Professor." Harry mumbled sullenly.

Dumbledore went on with his explanation, choosing to ignore Harry's mood. "As I was saying, only submissives are given the ability to bear children. All of this makes you a very desirable mate. Their creature sides can sense this. Then there's your scent."

"I smell?"

"Quite the contrary my dear boy. Now that your creature has awakened, it wants a mate. So it exudes a powerful scent to draw the strongest creatures, the best possible mates, to you. To these men, you smell heavenly: like freshly baked bread after months of being on a no-carb diet."

McGonagall rolled her eyes at his choice of words, but Harry flinched back in fear. He remembered what Dudley had been like when he'd gotten off a no-carb diet. Almost killed an old lady for a very small, half-empty bag of cookies. Harry wasn't sure about a lot of things, but he knew with 100% certainty that he didn't want to be the cookies in this scenario.

"So, let me see if I've got this right. They all want to mate with me?"

"Yes. The pheromones the nokke produces at this time hold them in a kind of thrall. Until you at least claim one of them, you are all they'll be able to think about. They are a danger to everyone in this state. Everyone in this castle will be viewed as a threat. Also, some of those living in the Forbidden Forest-"

"Are after me too." Harry finished for him. "Great. So, do I get to choose or will it be a fight to the death?"

"Both."

"They will fight to the death given the oppurtunity, but I can prevent that by choosing one of them?"

They all nodded.

"So, what exactly do I have to do?"

"All you really need to do is announce your claim, though there are a few specific words you'll need to use. This will form a tentative bond between you and your chosen which will calm the thrall. They'll still fight each other, but they won't seek each other out to do so, and they won't be as drawn to you."

"So, they'll have to avoid each other for the rest of their lives?"

"No, only until the bond is completed. To do so you must have sex with your chosen; once this is done the thrall will cease entirely. They won't have the urge to attack each other and while they may be a bit overprotective of you, they will otherwise leave you alone."

"Great." So this whole miserable situation depended on him losing his virginity. Fucking wonderful. "And until I have claimed one of them, I'm assuming you've opened the floo so that people can come and go without being attacked?"

More nods.

He glanced around the hospital wing. "Where are you keeping them all?"

"Room of Requirement, we set it up kind of like a zoo."

"I'll bet they just love that."

"Not in the slightest, but we had no place else to put them. You're going to have to spend most of your time with them to keep them calm. If they get agitated enough, its possible that they may be able to escape. I've put all possible wards in place to prevent that, but you never know. You'll be excused from classes. Choose wisely and choose fast." Dumbledore said solemnly. Then he smiled, "Rest here for the night. Things will be better in the morning."

The three of them left Harry alone. He snuggled down under the covers, his last thought before he drifted off to sleep was: Why does my life have to suck? I thought the drama would end once Voldiewarts was dead… It's just that much worse that it's against their will. They don't want me, they just can't help themselves…