Twelve ~
The dread felt like a fire dying out in her stomach as she followed Deidara down the corridor. Her moral compass swung back and forth, questioning whether her decision really was the correct one to be made. Even still, as she took her walk of shame, Sakura had not concluded what was 'right' and what was 'wrong'.
Everything was eerily quiet; not one of the other members were stirring. Someone had to be awake. If she were lucky, maybe one of them would come out of their room right then and encounter her in the blackness, unknowingly saving her from her grotesque fate.
Luck had not been on her side lately, unfortunately, if her current situation wasn't a perfect example of this. Sakura felt her hands trembling as she followed Deidara through a doorway - presumably his room's - and he shut it behind her. Sakura longed to be able to just lie down and accept her fate as she fell asleep across the room from her original captor. Sasori was nothing shy of mentally disturbed, as most or all of them were, but he seemed a bit more sane than his partner. Perhaps it was the age difference, or maybe just genetics. Now wasn't the time to be analyzing factors that contributed to s-ranked criminals' behaviors.
An arm looped loosely around her waist, slowly tightening like a snake on its prey. The nauseated feeling returned, willing Sakura to vomit. If she did, as nasty as that would be - thought it couldn't be worse than what was to come - perhaps he would let her go, if only to return back upstairs. No. In reality, he would probably lose his temper and toss her into a wall. The noise would cause a ruckus, and one or more people were bound to question it. He couldn't do that, either, then. If anyone noticed, he would have to find a way around exposing the fact that the loud noise occurred from harming her, and that would be a bit of a feat.
Focusing on the moment at hand, Sakura stared down at Deidara's right hand. It only then occurred to her that a mouth was resting on her stomach. The thought made her want to writhe in disgust, but moving most likely would plunge her deeper into this ugly consequence she'd agreed to.
Back outside, she could have said no. Impulsively speaking, the idea had sounded good - it was a sensible way to attain her freedom. As she had followed Deidara through the endless darkness, however, it had clicked that she was voluntarily scarring herself. Consenting to a criminal having whatever he wanted from her was ludicrous; at least, with Sasori, it wasn't whatever he wanted and she had the drive to fight him.
Maybe that drive came from the fact that she had discovered, over time, that Sasori would never hurt her. If he did, it was nothing extreme, nothing she couldn't heal. The fear the other members of the Akatsuki evoked in her was largely due to their lack of self-control and/or their apathy towards other people, even one another. The only exceptions Sakura had found to this seemed to be Itachi and Kisame, Kisame mainly due to the fact that his partner kept him in check. Then again, out of every member she'd encounter, Itachi was the only one that was wholly human.
Deidara pressed his face into her neck, his hot breath feeling like it invoked burns on her skin.
I don't want to do this.
I've changed my mind.
Sakura shut her eyes tight, attempting to push all of her grim thoughts away. If she kept her mind blank, the experience would be a fraction less horrible.
So she would hope.
Along her neck, she felt a distinct wetness, and she lost her cool immediately after.
"I take it back. I would rather stay here and rot beside the loon that's twice my age."
To her surprise, he pulled back without protest and went to sit on his bed. "The door's that way, un, but your freedom isn't."
Sakura gave him a dirty look before heading out of his room. In reality, she could say something to Sasori about the minimal events that had occurred, but it wasn't something she wanted to address. The ideal for the situation was to forget about it entirely, and eventually conjure a new idea for how to free herself of this madhouse.
As she pushed open the door to Sasori's room, he rolled over and gave her an intense look.
"Where did you go?"
"...bathroom?"
The thought came out more as a question than a statement, but it was a satisfactory reply for Sasori.
"You should be more careful. No one will care whether or not you need to utilize the bathroom if they can get a hold of you for their own reasons."
Attempting to suppress the memory of the fleeting moment of being alone with the most-likely-to-be-gay-but-straight member of the organization, Sakura took to sarcasm to save her mind.
"And you care if I have to use the bathroom?"
Sasori snickered. "That isn't quite how I'd put it, but I won't stop you from using it if you have to. In honesty, what's there to care about?"
He had a point. Sakura stalked over to her cot and flopped down onto it, pressing her face into the pillow she'd been given. It had been too long; she didn't want to be here any more, not that she'd ever. While she was treated like a human being by Sasori, it wasn't safe to wander outside of his room unless she was accompanied by him. As well, Sakura occasionally having the drive to fight, but it was nearly impossible to survive an encounter with one of these men on your own, let alone the entire organization.
"When will you let me go back to my life?" Sakura dared to ask, staring Sasori down as she waited for her answer. At first she received only silence, but he formed words eventually.
"Hn, when I feel like it. Currently, I don't."
Screw you.
Sakura wasn't sure what had given her the idea that inquiring of Sasori when he would grant her freedom would actually set her free, but anything was worth a shot. Not quite anything, but quite a few things were worth chancing, especially if they were as harmless as a question.
Sakura shut her eyes, exhaling gently now that she was in the closest place to what she could consider a safe haven. The silence was comforting, as was the space she was allowed to decide whether or not she wanted. Of course, it didn't stop Sasori from asking some questions of her own.
"You know, I might consider freeing you a bit more if you sleep with me tonight."
"Forget it."
Sakura was too burnt out from her brief encounter with Deidara to even contemplate agreeing to lie in the same bed as a man missing half his mind.
"That's too bad. I really was thinking of letting you go. You know, there's a phrase: if you love something, set it free."
Sakura exhaled loudly, attempting to make her dramatics as audible as possible.
"As much as I'd like to be free, I would hope you didn't have any sincere feelings for me, so I'll compromise my freedom for my sanity. Thanks anyway old man."
"Such disrespect for your elders..."
"Disrespect?" Sakura thought aloud, turning to face her red-haired captor. "You call that disrespect? What do you consider this? Stealing a girl away from her business to keep her as a pet, not even interrogate or beat her like a real shinobi. What kind of a renowned criminal are you? A con?"
Sakura hadn't been able to control her thoughts; they were dangerous to announce, seeing as it sounded as if she advocated torture and imprisonment, but it was appalling. Sasori was one of the ten - now, nine - members of the Akatsuki, and he acted as if he were a psychotic fifteen-year-old boy with a crush who'd never been properly loved as a child. Hell, he was psychotic and perhaps he hadn't been loved as a kid, but with his world-renown status you would think he would take it upon himself to act more...responsibly?
No. Not responsibly, but in character. Almost every other member she'd encountered certainly did, especially Deidara and Hidan. They were conniving, sadistic, self-serving assholes who used their power to invoke pain to and destroy almost every damn thing they saw. When she'd thought of the Akatsuki, that's what she thought of; men who crawled from the depths of hell to walk the earth looking for flesh to tear, bones to break, and lust - blood and otherwise - to satisfy.
When Sasori had first began preying on her, it seemed everything would amount to what she feared. Instead, he treated her with indifference, wanting to inflict pain and fear in her but protecting her all the same. Maybe it was torture, in some odd manner, but it was a pathetic attempt at it. Sakura would much have preferred the respect and honor of being properly ripped apart.
Sasori hadn't answered her, and Sakura took his silence one of two ways; either the puppeteer had fallen asleep, or he was choosing to ignore her outburst. With nothing else to do and no desire to rest, Sakura began contemplating if it would have been worth it to compromise her sanity for freedom. Deidara had given her the chance, not that she had necessarily trusted his word. It had been something worth considering, but she had impulsively agreed, then disagreed. Now she wondered where she would have been had she stayed; sprinting back to meet her team? Lying lifeless on the floor, dismembered? Lying beside him, the way Sasori had attempted to convince her to? It was too much to consider, knowing that there was nothing she could do about it now.
The longer she found herself captive, the more Sakura considered her situation hopeless. It seemed plausible that she could possibly spend the rest of her days wasting away as a toy to some screwed up man, until he died, but even if he were to perish, she would probably be passed off to another member like a hand-me-down.
There was so much to aspire to these days, it was overwhelming.
Right.
Sakura found her breathing evening out as sleep began to tug at her conscious. It was inevitable to avoid its grasp, so she closed her eyes and let go. It took a decent amount of time to release enough tension to settle, but eventually she began to slip under, listening to familiar words echoing through her mind.
"Attaining your freedom by one little favor, or staying captive and letting your life go by..."
"Letting your life go by..."
"Letting your life go by..."
"Go by..."
"By..."
Hope the chapters are satisfactory. Reviews are great, as always.