A/N - Started writing on this story again. One thing lead to another, and now I have two, pretty soon three, chapters complete. They're shorter than the rest, but will hopefully be entertaining.
A swirling pinwheel of cosmic, multi-hued darkness rotated very slowly in a one-foot diameter about four feet from the rocky, onyx ground. A vast, open landscape of black hills and mountains surrounded the ever-growing, faster spinning, eight-pronged discus, covered, in some patchy areas, with rich bluegrass and flowers. Laid out before the energetic mass was a dusty stone road, a shade of sepia, stretching for what seemed like miles, hugging the curves of the elevated terrain and winding through a narrow pass to a far-off rickety bridge, about to collapse under its own weight.
The tranquil flow of wind as it passed over the medium-length grass was all that could be discerned in the deathly silent mountains, not even the cawing of crows or the calls of wild beasts audible. Other than the perfectly blue mid-morning sky above and the ebony earth below, one would almost assume that nothing existed here.
Groaning, grumbling power currents caused the spacial distortion twirling in mid-air to expand further still, now rapidly oscillating and rotating, energy brewing inside the void like a lightning storm. It started to take on a white shine as whatever it was getting ready for was about to take place.
All of a sudden, a great, squishy sound emanated from it as the prone form of Arthur Read, covered in some sort of clear, filmy space plasma, rocketed out of the portal with enough force to crack his skull. Luckily, the plasma acted as a cushion for his descent, like rubber, as he bounced off the stony path some ten feet in the air, making an arch as he rapidly ascended, letting gravity do the rest of the work as he make an unceremonious crash landing into a bed of bluegrass tufts face first.
Once his stop had been confirmed, the protective layer surrounding his unmoving body began to recede and evaporate, knowing it had served its purpose, relinquishing its hold on Arthur's ability to move.
The aardvark began to regain control of his nerves, and thus his mobility in his arms, legs, and eventually everything else, other than the uncontrollable shakes he had in his body now that the ride was over. His teeth chattered and limbs vibrated with retroactive terror, wrapping around him in a hug, taking up the fetal position.
"W...w...w...w...w...WHAT THE HECK WAS ALL OF THAT?" he frightfully screamed, unbelieving that he had just been tossed into the blackness of space not but a few mind-destroying minutes ago.
"Hey...you're the one who wanted to cross dimensions. You didn't think it was going to be as easy as all that now, did you?"
Arthur frantically thrashed side to side to find the owner of the male-sounding voice, "Who are you? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?"
"Relax, relax, I'm right here..." the voice tried to console the boy so that he wouldn't have some kind of aneurysm.
Little, square-inch pieces of the onyx floor started to flip around in front of Arthur's eyes, over and over again. He could just make out the bottoms of something that looked like white dress shoes as, even more incredibly, pieces of the air-space over them started to flip around as well. This caused more above those to start their rotations until they reached about five and a half to six feet in the air, where a mischievous grin was plastered over a few of them. As he identified legs, then a torso and arms, and eventually a head the exact shape of Arthur's, an aardvark's, his jaw dropped in disbelief.
Standing before him was an aardvark who looked similar to him, but adult-sized with an all-white tuxedo, down to the tie, top hat, and shoes. He also had a scalp full of somewhat scraggly brown hair that flowed out from the brim of said hat. His facial expression toward Arthur was one of friendliness, but hid a sly, knowing glint of some kind.
"...and who might YOU be, sir?"
The man chortled at the boy's curiosity, this obviously must have been his first time doing this kind of thing. With a tip of his hat in informal greeting, he gave an honest, yet probably unhelpful, answer to Arthur.
"Who am I? That really is not important right now, my good traveler. Most people simply address me as the...tour guide, someone who makes sure that hot-headed, space-jumping explorers such as yourself don't get themselves killed attempting to cross the inter-dimensional borders of different worlds."
Arthur's eyeballs bugged out of his sockets as the other aardvark floated over to him effortlessly, lending a hand to pick the elementary schooler up off of the solid floor. Arthur tentatively grabbed the others hand, glad that he was being gently pulled up for a change, instead of knocked around the universe like some kind of pinball.
"Thanks...um...could I ask you something else?"
The man cryptically nodded.
"...Even though we're in some other dimension right now, you're an aardvark...how is that?"
It was a simple question for the odd, sharply dressed guide.
"Heh, oh Arthur, I change my appearance depending on the...sensibilities of the being I assist. My true form is actually quite a bit different from this one. Would you care to take a quick peek?"
Arthur's curiosity at that statement burned brightly, but the suggestive eye-brow raise the strange man gave him convinced him to just let that be a mystery.
"Mmm...I'll pass for now, thanks."
"Oh, such a pity," the white-suited aardvark smirked with half-lidded eyes, "it's quite entertaining to watch my charges' skin jump from their bones..."
A bead of sweat went down Arthur's neck as he gulped a bit.
"Now then," the guide patted Arthur on the back, getting down to some more important matters, "I suppose as your counselor here, I should give you the run-down of what your objective is, but first, why don't you tell me a little about why you're here today. It isn't every day that someone wants to torture themselves trying to get into another world. What is your motive?"
That's right, the disheveled kid had nearly forgotten the whole reason he was here after the traumatic universal jump to this connecting plane between Elwood City's world and Equestria's.
"Well, I'm trying to get to Equestria because I have this teacher in Elwood City, Mr. Ratburn..."
"(GASP) You don't mean, THE Nigel Ratburn," the guide started to gush, "the famous Inter-dimensional Cake Eating Challenge participant who has won 10 grand championships his last 21 years!"
"Yeah...heh heh," Arthur was taken aback by his excitement, but the man cleared his throat and let the boy continue with his story, "Mr. Ratburn and Princess Celestia of Equestria had been rivals in that contest for as long as he's been in it. Now, I think Mr. Ratburn is starting to have...feelings for her. So, I've decided to get some help with this in any way that I can, and at this point I'm thinking that Equestria is the only place I will find it."
With that piece of information, the tour guide slammed his hand over where his heart would be, taking a deep, quivering sigh as his eyes closed in fond sympathy.
"Ahhhh, an inter-dimensional romance! It does this man good to hear a reason for sacrifice that is so noble, so touching!"
"Mmm hmm..." Arthur slowly drew out as he rolled his eyes at the tom-foolery.
"Anyway," he straightened back up instantly, putting his hand back down to his side, allowing the seriousness of the situation to ebb through his every word, "with every tourist who passes through this hellish landscape, I obligate myself to ask you to turn back and make Nigel deal with his love problems in a different way."
Arthur stood his ground, noticing the change in demeanor on the other aardvark's stoic expression, "...Why's that? This place is deserted. It can't be that much of a problem."
"My boy," he gestured out onto the trail of stone, all the way to the bridge, and over that into Arthur's destination, "looks can be deceiving. There will be plenty of physical challenge, no doubt about that, but this task you are about to undertake has many more psychological repercussions than you might be able to see right now."
Arthur was lead to the top of a hill in front of them, where he could get a better view of the mountainous cliffs on his way, "To you, this only looks like a quaint little trail, something you'd find at one of your "national parks" probably, but every step you take on it will be earned, not given. I can only usher you so much, after that it will be on YOUR head to stay alive and...sane. As it is, I wish I could show you what you're up against, but it's different for every being, and completely erratic. The only solid objective you are given is to stick to the path under your feet, where it will take you all the way to the bridge over there, and beyond lies another portal of which you can take to find the other world that awaits your arrival."
The tall guide bent down to Arthur's eye-level, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "The next word you say to me will make this official. After that, you either must go on, or go home. Are you prepared, Arthur Read, to risk your life and/or your sanity to cross into the next world and pursue your goals?"
The decision was instant. There was no way Arthur was going to turn back now, not after everything he had already been through in order to get here, not to mention the reason he started this journey in the first place.
"Yes, I'm ready..."
The menacing, blank look on the guide's face was unreadable.
"You, my young friend, are in for the fight of your life..."
With his last words, Arthur noticed how his arms started to singe and fade away. The rest of his suit-clad body followed close behind, leaving the bespectacled youngster to watch as he completely evaporated into oblivion.
"I will keep watch from afar, and you may ask me any questions about where you need to go. However, I cannot give you physical assistance, or save you if something attacks. That would be against the order of the universe. By your own strength of mind and body alone will you be considered worthy to continue. Good luck, you foolish boy."
After the last echos of his voice left Arthur's hearing range, the spacious outdoors became uncomfortably quiet yet again. Nothing really seemed out of the ordinary, which was surprising. Wasn't this where the ordeal started?
"He must've been bluffing..." Arthur thought to himself.
"Oh..." the same voice rang through the area, "I am NOT bluffing. Go ahead, Arthur, take your first step over that patch of grass, and see what I mean..."
Arthur surreptitiously made his way over to where the man was leading him, a tiny area of fresh bluegrass right down the slope of the trail, some invisible barrier the guide had dared him to cross. He put his foot over that line with determined intent.
Nothing...
"Phew...I don't know what you were talking abo..."
That's odd, the sky was starting to bleed into a dark blue, then to the onyx black of the ground while the hills and mountains bled the opposite, from black to light blue. Arthur could swear that his mind was playing tricks on him. He stumbled back a little as the stone began to take on a green hue, the grass becoming the same shade of sepia as the stone.
They stayed just like that for a moment, but then started reversing their color scheme to normal again. Arthur blew a sigh of relief, thinking it was just a momentary thing. However, the colors of the world around him changed the same way again, but even more expedient, then reverting back again faster than before. Pretty soon, the colors were switching so fast around him that Arthur was convinced he would have a seizure.
As this was going on, making the aardvark incredibly dizzy, a huge, feral roar ripped through the silence. Arthur turned on his heels in fright fast enough to watch as a huge bear-like claw slammed into the side of his body, swiping it viciously. Arthur flew through the air, landing on the ground a few feet away on his back.
Luckily, the claws hadn't ripped the flesh from his bones, but his sweater was sporting a huge gash mark, just inches away from slicing him. After mentally inspecting the damage, he gazed upon the assailant, a huge snow yeti, dripping spit from its hungry fangs, substantially larger than its prey. The huge hands sported claws that Arthur was surprised hadn't cut through him on the spot.
Arthur backed away frantically, making sure to put as much distance between him and the arms' reach of the behemoth as possible. Sensing his fear and retreat, the monster started a slow sprint to get its paws on the morsel. It shot out a clawed hand, attempting to spear Arthur with it.
Just in time, Arthur rolled out of the way, but not before incurring another snip in his yellow garb. He shot to his feet immediately, running for the nearest boulder on the path to his destination. He found one and jumped behind it, feeling sick from both fear and the constantly pulsating color scheme going on around him.
"OH NO, OH NO, GUIDE, are you there?"
"Yes Arthur, what is it you'd like to know?"
Arthur would've screamed mightily if it wouldn't alert the yeti to his position, "You didn't tell me I'd have to fight a YETI!"
"No, but I did tell you that this journey is different for everyone, and that your life is on the line..."
"Just tell me what the heck to do!" Arthur was in no mood to be patient.
"Look for a weapon of some kind to fight it with..."
The yeti's growl was getting louder, which meant it was getting closer, and might know where he is.
"DO YOU SEE A WEAPON AROUND HERE, GENIUS?"
"You have to look for it, Arthur, I cannot simply make one materialize out of thin air for you. Follow the clues, and the land will provide your tools..."
"What do you me...ugh..."
Out of the corner of Arthur's sight, a blinding flash was brought to his attention. It was coming from the bush to his left. He got back up on his feet, crouching on the off chance that the yeti was still in the dark about his general area. Upon closer scrutiny, the flash was actually a steel hilt for something. Curiously, Arthur gripped the handle and yanked the heavy object that was attached to it out.
"Whoa, a broadsword!"
Arthur had to hold it with two hands, it was so heavy. The sword was almost as long as his entire body and completely composed of forged steel.
"Gulp...I have to fight that huge thing...with this?"
The guide just stated matter-of-factly, "It is your test, Arthur, it wouldn't mean anything if it wasn't difficult..."
Arthur's lip quaked as the implications ran through his mind.
"...I'm going to die here now...aren't I?..."
"I cannot answer that question. How much do YOU want to succeed, my young friend?"
The strange man was right! There was no turning back now, and Arthur had to give it his best, even if it killed him. Survival instincts kicking in, Arthur felt the surge of hot adrenaline go through his body. Forcing his legs to obey him, he darted out from behind the boulder, facing the creature who had gratefully been searching aimlessly behind other areas.
"HEY UGLY! COME AND GET ME!"
The yeti turned on a dime and tore through the stone path toward the boy, starving for the tender skin of his meal. Arthur released his own mighty war-cry right along with the roaring beast, holding up his broadsword and dashing toward the monster.
As they met, Arthur yelled and swung the long broadsword with all of his might, bringing it down upon his enemy. The yeti had blocked the strike with its claw, Arthur cutting through the terror's fingers a little bit, but it was worth the pain, as the mighty yeti backhanded Arthur even more ferociously, sensing his heightened threat level, which sent Arthur and his sword sailing almost six feet through the air, landing on the hard rock with a painful grunt.
"Pfft..." the guide could hardly contain his laughter, "HAHAHAHA...THAT WAS SO ANTICLIMACTIC!"
Coughing, the dusty, facially bruised Arthur shot back, "Shut up! I'm just getting the hang of this! Whose side are you on, anyway?"
"To me, I have no stock in whether you live or die, just remember that. I'm only here to give you a fighting chance."
Arthur picked himself back up briskly to face the ever approaching yeti. It was raging now that the young warrior had hurt its claw, and looked intent on mutilating its target in anger. Arthur waited patiently this time, looking for the exact moment to strike as the beast approached again.
"NOW!"
Arthur jumped forward, blade gripped up over his head behind his back, just as it came into the direct trajectory of the sword. He swung with everything he had and brought the steel crashing and slicing down through the yeti's upper to its lower torso, making it howl in pain as a bright yellow light poured from the wound.
"YEAH, IT WORKED!"
As the yeti flailed around, Arthur finally took notice that no blood was coming out of the cut, but the light was getting more and more illuminated.
"Um...what is that yellow stuff inside of it?"
The guide hurriedly gave Arthur another late warning.
"Maybe you should duck back a little..."
The light engulfed the yeti further, blinding the war hero with its intensity. A loud bang and a flash accompanied the yeti's complete disintegration, exploding into fountains of sparks and something else...
"Ouch!" Arthur put his hand up to his cheek that had started to hurt, when he examined the hand, there was a thin amount of blood on it from where he touched.
"What the..."
"Thorns, Arthur, every time you kill something in this world, a random trap is generated from the disintegrating bodies of your victims."
Arthur looked down at himself, scared at what he might find. Fortunately, he wasn't bathed in a pool of thorns or blood, but a few were stuck in his clothing, and some had been lucky enough to riddle them with holes. He picked out one of the thorns, hoping to inspect it.
"HEY, PUT ME DOWN!"
"AAAAH!"
Arthur dropped the tiny thorn like it was hot. Did it just say something to him?
"Ouch..." the long fall to the ground had both hurt and annoyed the little, sharp wood chip.
"Oh, sorry about that." Arthur knelt down to its level to see if it would talk again. Sure enough, the motor mouth attached to it was fully gassed.
"Oh, the nerve of some people! I was just floating along, minding my own business, until BOOM, I was thrown out into a sweaty, stinky little rodent's shirt! Well that's just peachy, I'll tell you what! NOOOOOO, my sister, Sandy, got to be a thorn on a pretty rose, but I get the short end of the straw by being used as a trap and then discarded, crushed in the ground, and whisked away, never to be remembered agai...HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING! DON'T THROW ME OVER THAT CLIFF! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIIIIIIIIIIIS!"
Arthur had expertly chucked the thorn over a ravine, finding the dead silence somehow much more appealing to that grating racket coming from the talkative piece of wood.
After the harrowing battle was over, Arthur also noticed something else. The color scheme of the world around him had gone back to normal, and stayed there. It must have done so after the yeti was defeated. That was nice, now Arthur wouldn't be in danger of throwing up on himself or falling to the ground shaking uncontrollably.
"Alright!" Arthur appreciatively yelled in triumph, holding his sword up in the air, "Now that I've got this sword I'll have..."
His sentence was cut off as he noticed the steel broadsword was breaking down into little grains of metal sand, the granules flying away in some unknown, non-blowing wind.
"...something to...defend myself...with...HEY, where's it going?"
Arthur gripped the handle desperately, thinking it would keep him from having to lose his precious life-preserver. As the hilt also turned to sand, falling from his hands and being swept up by the same currents, the disappointed former swordsman let out a frustrated groan.
"AAAAARRRRRGH!"
"Nuh uh uh," the guide tisked the boy, "every time another challenge is complete, the tools you acquired vanish with it. To be able to take so many tools with you would be cheating, as it would make each subsequent battle easier to conquer. You have to use the tools given to you by the challenge at hand. It may not be the simplest way to victory, but that's where the wits and struggle come in."
Arthur grumbled, defeated by his guide, "I guess that makes sense..."
"Now then," his voice seemed much happier that Arthur was starting to understand the rules of the game, "let's take a few more steps..."
"OH HECK NO!" Arthur blasted at the guide.
"What?..."
"I'm making a break for it! No more baby steps for me!"
The impatient grade-school kid went into a dead, heated tear down the brown, dusty path, sprinting toward the dilapidated bridge like his very soul depended on such speed.
"...It's useless to run Arthur...you won't make the trip any easier this way..."
Arthur's heartbeat pumped in his ears as the running gave him a boost of energy, "CRAM IT!"
He could see the bridge getting closer, so much closer.
"JUST A BIT MORE!"
Was it just him, or did Arthur feel like "just a bit more" meant "I'm not getting anywhere near"? As much as his legs burned with the fury of his run, the spot where the path connected with the bridge eluded him. He stopped for a moment, breathing heavily, taking in the scene in front of his eyes. Yeah, the bridge was exactly where it had been when he started the sprint. In fact, it almost seemed to be floating away from him, as if taunting him to give chase.
"Oh no you don't!"
Once Arthur started running again, the bridge and the area around it retreated rapidly, much more so than the aardvark could keep up. As it flew away into the horizon, Arthur had a bad feeling when it bleeped out of existence, replacing his vision with nothing but a white canvas.
He gawked, dumb-struck as he quit running. Everything was all white in his line of sight. He put his hands up to his face, making sure that he was still all there, which he was. He turned in place, gasping as he realized that he must have been in some completely egg shell colored box or room. No sounds, nothing to look at, just white.
"H...hello?"
The word was echoed right back at him at least ten or more times, each one in a different timbre, frequency, even different voices that weren't his, including some female voices.
"Is someone there?"
Once again, the differing voices reverberated throughout the room.
"GUIDE?"
Although the various "guides" were thrown back at him, the man in question did not respond.
"Oh no," Arthur thought to himself, "I must be stuck in some kind of...mind-control field or something! I saw an episode like this on Bionic Bunny once, where Bionic Bunny gets zapped with a mind-control device and loses all sense of where he is or what he does!"
A gruff, rumbling laugh surrounded Arthur in that instant, knocking him out of his train of thought. It seemed to be coming from outside the room instead of any of the voices that copied him.
"No no, my tasty treat!" It rumbled through the box jovially, puncturing Arthur's ear drums, "It isn't control! You're inside your own mind! BWEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"
Arthur felt the white ground push up on him violently, flattening him at such an angle that he rolled toward another one of the walls. Just as he thought the earthquake was over, gravity suddenly decided to reverse, and he was harshly thrown up into the ceiling, spread out helplessly as he was ignorant of the mechanics of his box prison. A great crash had somehow put gravity back in control, with Arthur plummeting toward the ground again, speeding up even faster after a second or two.
"OH NO! I'M GOING TO FALL!"
Arthur really wished he had been nicer to his parents and D.W. now, because he would probably never see them again.
Just as Arthur was at terminal velocity to become a splat in the white surface, he was forcibly sucked back up into the ceiling where an even more potent crash and crack could be heard. The ground floor was starting to give way, jagged lines reaching out of it. Soon, the whole side fell apart, revealing a huge pan of boiling oil, ready to greet the aardvark with its sizzling burn when he took another free-fall again. Arthur began his perilous descent into the vat of boiling liquid, eliciting a terrified shriek from the kid.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Well...this was it. If that fall didn't kill him, this bath of molten oil surely would. He silently prayed for the safety and well-being of his friends and family, apologizing for all of the bad things he has ever done in life, and said farewell to his own world just as he plunged into the scorching substance, consuming him whole with a painful, blistering crackle.