The Doctor walked around the console room, flicking a switch here and there, putting off the inevitable. There was no need to do anything. He had no desire to leave the time vortex.
He just couldn't find the energy.
For a moment, the Doctor simply stood, hands in pockets. The very portrait of stillness and sorrow.
Until now, he had never realised just how deafening silence was.
It permeated the air around him, making it heavy and thick; smothering him. He felt a small hum from the TARDIS as she dimmed the lights slightly, honouring his solitude.
That was when he heard it.
His head shot up, eyes roaming wildly around the cavernous console room. Silence met him at every turn. Sagging with the extra weight of his traitorous hope, he shook his head, mentally berating himself for believing for even a second that it was possible-
There it was again!
He was sure he'd heard it. He couldn't be that mad - and he knew better than anyone else what madness was (considering just how many planets considered him clinically so) - that he'd torture himself with that glorious sound.
Her laughter.
Suddenly the corridor to his left lit up slowly with a beautiful golden light, emitting a small glowing hum that seemed to call to him. He didn't even hesitate. He lurched forwards and flew down the corridor as if his life depended on it.
And, when he thought about it, he supposed it probably did.
He came to a shuddering stop just before reaching her corridor. Surely, this wasn't real? Perhaps the TARDIS was… No, she wouldn't do this to him. But there was just no way She could be here. It wasn't possible. It was impossible. He would know, he'd tried everything.
But it felt so real.
It wouldn't hurt to just…
No, he couldn't bear it today.
Occasionally, he'd find himself in her room, lying on her bed, surrounded by everything that was just her. He couldn't do it to often though, had to fill the silence with the clunking TARDIS and fill the emptiness with another adrenaline-fuelled adventure instead.
But that was never enough. He always went back. Back to Her.
This was ridiculous. He was a Time Lord! Not some lovesick idiot, completely incapacitated by some pink and yellow human girl. He could do this. He would do this.
Sometimes the lies he told himself were truly pathetic.
Determination flooded his incredibly intelligent brain, and though the tiny bird in his chest sighed softly, he tried not to let the sorrow crush him.
At least not anymore than it was.
Squaring his shoulders, his brow furrowed with renewed resolve, he marched down the hallways towards that corridor. The beautiful golden hum, Her siren call, seemed in the air around him, in the very walls, floors, and roof of his TARDIS, as if they were one and the same.
As if they were one…
No, that couldn't.. could it?
Shaking himself, the Doctor moved on, though not nearly as far as he hoped thanks to the TARDIS and her meddling. Before he knew it or could prepare himself, he was once again in front of two doors; one was his and the other was-
Glowing. Gold and hot, energy vibrated across the simple wooden door and he seemed to gravitate toward it, as if beyond that door was the centre of the world, his world, and it was Her magnetic pull that drew him inexorably closer.
He should resist, save himself from more pain.
But when it came to Her, well, resisting hadn't been an option for a long time.
His hand clasped the simple door handle and his body shuddered with the sudden intake of breath. The metal handle was warm and pulsing, breathing. In his shock, the Doctor jerked his hand back but the damage was already done.
The door swung open.
For a split second, he thought his respiratory bypass had failed him. There was no air, no up, no down, no space, no time. For the first time in a long time he couldn't hear the ever-present tick-tick of time slipping away, rearranging, or disappearing altogether. He couldn't feel any worlds moving beneath his feet because he was pretty sure the entire space-time continuum had come to a blinding halt.
His extremely large (and modest) brain felt heavy and sluggish.
Oh, what a simply wonderful delusion, the perfect hallucination. Everything was the same. Her eyes, her hair, her smile. Simply-
He dared himself to think it.
- Rose.
He expected the pain but it didn't come. His brain gave him a polite tap on the shoulder, sending electrical impulses to every cell in his body, asking him to politely wake up, run into her arms, and finally snog her sens- WHAT?
Before he could even continue his thought, the goddess before him smiled a hesitant tongue-in-teeth smile.
"Hello Doctah. S'been a while, yeah?"
Hesitant smile? Why was she hesitant?
Another tap from his brain.
Dream Rose would never be hesitant.
This time it's a bit more of a shove.
Dream Rose would be smiling, laughing, in his arms…
A rather rude (and not ginger) jolt from brain.
But that would imply…
Oh come ON Spaceman! Figure it out!
…Donna? No, no, no! Must. Focus! Rose is here, this is Rose! Rose is real. This is actually...
"Rose? Are you… I mean you're not…You're can't actually…But that's impossible." He shook his head and tried to tell himself her eyes hadn't dimmed slightly.
"Someone once told me nothin's impossible, ain't that right Doctah?" She gave a sad, almost ironic sort of smile, the kind of smile he wished he would never have to see staining her lips ever again.
"But I tried! I did everything. There was nothing else! But you… You're… And I…" His hands were in his hair, tugging at it in tight fistfuls. Pain seared along his scalp but he didn't care. His only thoughts were Rose.
"Jus' can't seem to get rid of me?" There it was, the smile, Her smile, Rose's smile. And that was all it took.
The Doctor was across the room in less than 2 strides, Rose Tyler in his arms, just as she should be.
His heart was no longer lost.