Deep at night I'm awakened from my dreams
Next door yelling, cries; "Mercy!"
She's beggin please, begging please, begging please
"Get up, Get up!"
He brings her to her feet and smacks her down till she falls to the ground
Oh and over and over again
He brings her to her feet till she can no longer stand
Oh and still the beating never ends
On and on and on it goes
-Justin Nozuka, Save Him
Bella POV
I came home to find Charlie drunk again. I just laid in my bed, and started crying again. I don't know why the hell I cry so much.
I think it's cause for about the last year I haven't cried. Not once. I've been motionless, dead, heartless. But now, I am awake. I don't know what did it, but I just snapped out of my brain dead trance and willed myself to get it together.
I looked out of the window, and saw through the trees Edward's window. Rain was trickling down the glass, and I found myself desperate to be on the other side. Not that I'd find myself happy around Edward. It hurts to even look at him. To see him smile across the cafeteria with his friends when I am all alone in the corner by myself, picking at my food. I've become invisible to everyone. Well, except for Mike Newton. He's always been one of the biggest losers. No one really associated with him. He'd been really sweet to me though. I mean, he is a pretty nice guy. I just never thought that he'd be the only one that I'd spoken any words to…besides Charlie.
Well anyways, Edward's room was empty. Obviously, I mean, he was at school. I came home before it even started because I couldn't even face him. How pathetic. But how I enjoyed being able to look out the window without having to accidentally see him, or him seeing me, or me seeing something I most definitely did not want to see.
I remember one time, I think mid freshman year, I'd decided to get the courage to actually look out my window again. Because I always loved to do that, regardless of Edward or not. It was just calming what with the rain on the roof and everything. So, as I did this, I was able to look for about a fraction of a second, because I'd saw something I most definitely did not want to see. Edward and Jessica Skankly making out in his room. He looked like he was enjoying it enough, but then he'd caught me catching him in that act. And I immediately looked away, tears flooding my eyes. Not only did he probably think I was creepy as hell, he most likely seen the effect him being with another girl has on me. One thing I have never liked is someone seeing how much they hurt me, or the effects they have on me. If they were going to hurt me that's one thing, but for them to actually know the extent of my pain…unbearable.
I remember back when me and Edward were inseparable we'd sometimes just sit at our windows looking at each other, occasionally laughing, or making funny faces, until we'd fall asleep, right there at our windows. Well we did that a lot more before we just started sneaking into each others rooms to share a bed. But sometimes, when we were afraid of getting caught, that's what we did. It became such routine for us to be together, I just cannot believe it disappeared, and really, just like that.
I fell asleep right there at the window like I used to do when Edward was by his, mirroring my actions. Then I awoke to Charlie, drunkenly barging into my room.
"Isabella, wanna explain why the schoooool called?" he angrily slurred.
My eyes were very afraid, because his looked like they did when he would hit me. "Uh—I…thought you seen me come home.."
"Bullshit, Bella! What the fuck are you doing skipping schooool!"
"D-dad," I cried, burying my head into my hands.
I felt him snatch my wrist up. "Look at me Isabella," he slurred with venom.
He kept squeezing my wrist, harder and harder. I kept crying. He obviously didn't like that, because his squeezing became harder. My blood was not circulating.
"Pl-please. You're hurting me," I sobbed.
He blinked blankly. "I don't care."
And then he left my room.
I wanted to cry so badly.
Of course he didn't care. No one did.
xoxo, B.