A/N: So heres chapter 3 sorry the last chapter was so short! I tried to make this one longer but yeah I have all these stupid tests to do! I hate MATH! Oh well enjoy the story!
Dear Diary,
Today I was hanging out with Itachi. It wasn't as fun as it sounds. The whole time I was next to him I kept thinking about that magazine. Poor Deidara I saw him walking out of Itachi's room and I swear I saw bite marks on his shoulders. I saw Itachi make him a clay heart as a present for last night. I wish these images would just go away!
I just couldn't take the awkwardness around Itachi. So I just left to practice dancing when blondie came and ruined everything. He told me that he could make me feel better by taking me somewhere but it would be a 'suprise'. So I went with him anyways. He thought he could make me feel better by taking me FISHING!
FISHING!
Does this guy have something against me? I swear I think he does because that was just sick. I couldn't help but cry as I watched this murderer slowly kill my own kind. I managed to save some. Then he got mad at me for throwing them back to their homes. I swear he's sick I don't know what Itachi sees in him but I hate him.
But then again, if it wasn't for Deidara I wouldn't have met Fish-Chan.
She was one of the fish I saved and we had a total connection. She is the definition of beuty. After we ditched Deidara we went back to my room to talk. Needless to say we made sweet love and it was so wonderful. I've never felt this kind of connection with anyone. Oh Fish-chan
Well diary Fish-Chan is calling me for round two. ;)
-Kisame
Dear Diary,
Today me and Fish-Chan were cuddling when I had to go on a quick trip with Kakuzu. He said it something about some people that owed him money and he said my Samehada would be of great help. So here I am writing while Kakuzu is tearing these guys apart. What pests.
-Kisa-
Pain looked at the page and noticed that there were spots of blood on it. He must have been fighting while writing . 'Why was he writing in his diary and fighting?' Pain thought to himself. He continued to read on.
Dear Diary,
That last mission with Kakuzu was a pain in my ass. Those guys just don't know when to quit, those greedy bastards.. Anyways I'm about to snuggle with Fish-Chan...I can't find Fish-Chan... I bet Barbie has something to do with this! Ill be right back diary…..
NOOOO! FISH-CHAN! SHE'S GONE! I HATE DEIDARA I HATE HIM! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM I DON'T CARE WHAT ITACHI SAYS!
-KISAME
"Oh great now I have to deal with Kisame's issues with Deidara" Pain thought aloud. He looked and saw ink spots and possibly drops of tears on the page. He chuckled as he remembered what Kisame wrote about calling Deidara a Barbie. Pein picked the journal with blood spots on it and began to read.
So today I start to pour out my 'feelings' into this diary Tobi gave me. This thing is worthless. Might as well just give it to Kakuzu to sell.
My name is Hidan and I am a Jashinist. Praise Lord Jashin.
I might use this as a sort of bible or something. Fuck Tobi and fuck Kakuzu for chopping my head off for the third time. (I keep telling him I'm immortal and it doesn't work but he just won't listen)
I wonder what's under Tobis mask anyways. I bet hes an ugly fucker since he tries to hide his face all the time. Its not my fault that he is cursed with an ugly face. I for one am a sexy motherfucka. Lord Jashin has blessed me with the sexiest body the world has ever seen.
I might even be sexier than Konan.
-Hidan
So anyways today I was just hangin with my man Kakuzu (lol Deidara talk) he was going on about how much money he needs and how money is the most important thing in the world. He's as boring as shit. So I tell him that he shouldn't hold on to such materialistic possessions and follow the way of Lord Jashin.
Then fucking Kakuzu cut my arms off! (again). After I yelled at him and got Konan to sew my arms back up (again) Why is Kakuzu so mean to me? Maybe hes just intimidated by my looks. Hey no one can look as sexy as me I mean cmon look at me.
I couldn't take anymore of Kakuzus attitude so I walked around and I saw Tobi in his room singing one of his dumb lollipop songs. He was about to take off his mask too until he noticed me and tried to make me dance with him. I kicked him off me because he kept trying to hug me. Annoying fuck.
I hate Tobi
-Hidan
Hey Diary hope you don't mind but my last rituals blood got on the cover so yeah. Her blood is now Jashin's to feast on.
Anyways today I saw Deidara follow Itachi around I wonder if those faggots might actually get together.(They would look good together no homo). When I approached him he started to ramble on about his mission of making Itachi smile. ( Good luck) So I decided to mess with him because he's supposedly 'not gay' and told him to show up in Itachis room naked and I laughed my ass off when he actually took me seriously.
What a dumbass he doesn't even know Itachis secret
-Hidan
So today I tried to get a glimpse of Tobis face under that stupid mask he wears but I just couldn't find him anywhere today. That's weird I always usually find him running around in circles in the living room. I don't even know why Leader-sama even let him join. Hes just an annoying brat, almost as worthless as Deidara if you ask me. I on the other hand was a good choice and was so glad Leadesama chose me to join the Akutsuki. I think I might even be better than all these other losers.
No wait scratch that I AM better than all of these losers.
Sincerely,
Sexy Hidan
Stupid Zetsu came out of the fucking ground today and tried to eat me! Whats that dudes problem anyways? I swear today I even saw him flirting with Pains rosebush.
What the hell is Zetsu anyways?
A talking cactus?
-Hidan
Today I saw Sasori and Itachi talking outside of his room. It looks like they were talking real buissness so I thought maybe I'll just eavesdrop on their conversation. All I heard was something about money and Deidara in Sasori's room. I couldn't really listen to all of it because they were whispering a little. I even saw Kisame trying to listen in and the big blue bastard got caught. So I thought I should leave so they wouldn't catch me too.
I went by Sasori's room and saw Itachi hovering over Deidara and I even saw Itachi finish. It was so gross and I was just about to run before Itachi caught me and grabbed me. He then gave me a piece of paper and walked off.
It had an address, a room number and the date and time.
-Sincerely
A scared Hidan
I'm so confused about the paper Itachi gave me yesterday. What does it mean? Does he want to meet me there? Is it a trap? Stupid Uchiha…..
But on the positive side of things I saw Deidara sneak into Itachi's room. Haha can't wait to see what he'll look like when he gets out of there after Itachi's done with him.
I wonder if I should tell him Itachi's seceret. Nah, let him find out on his own.
-Hidan
HAHAHA! I saw Deidara walk out of Itachi's room LIMPING! I asked what happened last night and said he couldn't remember! HAHA! Itachi date raped Deidara! This is so histarical! The dumb blonde is so oblivious! I even saw Itachi follow him and checking him out.
So today was all and good until I went into the kitchen to grab something to eat. I looked in the cabinet and saw Tobi curled up in a ball. I tried to get him out of there but he said that Deidara has to come find him because their playing hide and seek. I kicked him couple of times to try and get him out but he wouldn't budge so I went out to eat.
Tobi told me the game started about two days ago.
-Hidan
A/N: Hidan finds Tobi in the cabinet too? What is Itachi's secret? You'll find out in the later chapters hopefully I have time to write while studying and going to school! Please leave reviews! Also message me if you want to help me with ideas! :P PEACE OUT!