AN: Spencer will appear in section 2 of this 3-part chapter, but first, here is Emily's cameo appearance. Please read and review. How is my Spencer?
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, nor do I own Snow Patrol.
Part 1
Friendship is unnecessary,
like philosophy, like art...
It has no survival value;
rather it is one of those things
which give value to survival.
- C. S. Lewis
Friday March 30th, 2007
3:00 pm
Emily stops by the apartment on her way out of town. Everyone else has already left for their weekend of down time and no one wants Spencer to drive me. I open the door the instant Emily knocks. I've been ready, and waiting for Emily for twenty-six minutes.
"Come on Dawn, time to go." She smiles at me.
My mouth drops open in shock, "Emily, that's not fair. I'm not useless and I don't get kidnapped every Tuesday. Today isn't even Tuesday it's Friday!"
Emily chuckles, "Come on kid," she drags me out the door, "let's go. You have a weekend to spend with our resident Doctor and I have a plane to catch."
I pout but don't put any real force into my resistance. After all, I want to see Spencer.
The drive to Spencer's apartment is relatively short, only about twenty minutes. Emily and I listen to Snow Patrol; they're an awesome band from Ireland. I doubt Emily would listen to them if I didn't like them so much. She seems to flinch every time they speak, which isn't often. Luckily, when the band sings, they sound North American. It is impossible to place their accents. I wonder why she doesn't like their accents I think they sound hot.
We arrive at Spencer's apartment building and Emily seems weary of entering. I wonder if she is fighting with Spencer. Out of the blue, Emily asks me if I want her to cancel her trip and I could spend the weekend with her. It's confusing; doesn't she want me to spend time with Spencer? Is something wrong and no one has told me yet? My confusion and hesitation must be evident on my face because Emily rushes to reassure me that everything is okay and that Spencer just hasn't been feeling well lately.
I narrow my eyes, "Don't lie Emily. It doesn't suit you."
Her forehead crinkles, frown lines are starting to appear.
"I know that Spence hasn't been the same since Georgia." For almost an entire minute I can read Emily Prentiss like a book, she is scared and she want's to tell me something important about Spencer but she can't or won't. In the end it's the same thing.
Emily opens her mouth and breathes out, "Catherine."
I smile at her "It's okay Em really."
She raises one eyebrow.
I roll my eyes, "Okay so it's not okay but it will be. You just have to believe that Spencer can fight his own dragons."
She snorts, "I think you mean demons Crierwy (kree-ree)."
My face is serious, "No Emmy, I definitely mean dragons."
She chuckles, "Alright silly girl, you win."
I laugh. "Of course I win Emmy, I always win."
Now it's Emily's turn to roll her eyes.
We walk up the stairs all the way to the eighth floor and then down a really, really long corridor. When we arrive at Spencer's door, the furthest back in the building on the left side, Emily opens her arm to me. I step into them willingly and she whispers, "Love you Crierwy (kree-ree)."
I smile against her shoulder, "Love you too Emmy."
I knock three times wait three seconds and then knock three more times. This is my knock; Jen has a different one, it needs to be done this way so that Spencer knows who is at his door. I wish I had a key, it would make thing so much easier, but right now, I don't think Spencer would want anyone just walking into his apartment unannounced. When Spencer answers the door, I turn to say good-bye to Emily again but she has disappeared. She must have taken off right after our hug good-bye.
"Fairy tales are more than true;
not because they tell us that dragons exist,
but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."
- G.K. Chesterton
Part 2
"I don't think..." then you shouldn't talk, said the Hatter.
- Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland
Friday March 30th, 2007
6:00 pm
Spencer and I have spent the past two and a half hours sitting in complete silence. Well, I was reading and Spencer was sitting on his chair, staring off into space. It is very weird because Spencer is always rambling on about something and he never just stares off into space. It's like his brain has stopped working. I have always liked listening to Spencer ramble because you can learn the most interesting things. I know that the team usually gets annoyed when he rambles about anything not case related and then they tune him out. I am guilty of doing that sometimes but mostly I'm attentive. Lately Spencer has started rambling less, it's weird, not like him at all. He used to jump on any chance to impart knowledge. Everything relates back to that case in Georgia and I hate myself for wondering if Henkel beat the rambling thoughts out of Spencer.
The apartment is a mess, normally, everything is in its place and once Spencer is finished with something he puts it back exactly where it is supposed to be. The apartment's mess is making me twitchy. Not that I want to clean it but because it is a physical representation that something is wrong with Dr. Spencer Reid. The only clean room in the apartment is the kitchen. I breathe a sigh of relief even knowing that the cleanliness is only because Spencer doesn't cook if he can help it.
I want to make something to eat but there is no food in the apartment: nothing in the pantry, nothing in the fridge or the freezer. What has Spencer been eating? Has he been eating? I don't see any take out containers. It is even more obvious to me that something is wrong. Spencer cannot get by without food, no one can. He never forgets to eat, hell, Spencer eats almost as much food as Derek. I want to walk to the grocery store down the street but I don't want to bring Spencer with me, he wont let me go alone and I cannot leave him here by himself. I check my wallet to make sure I have enough money for food when Spencer doesn't answer my questions about dinner. I have enough money so I order one pizza: Hawaiian, half no cheese.
Something is definitely wrong; I just need to figure out what. It's more than just nightmares and being afraid of the dark; every single light in the apartment is turned on. I want to cry. I don't know what to do. How can I help? Spencer isn't talking, he isn't moving, he's just sitting there like a bump on a log. Maybe I should have stayed home alone and risked Jenny's wrath or taken Emily up on her offer. But that would not be fair to Emily or Spencer. He was happy for all of thirty seconds when I first arrived, his eyes sparkled like they used to.
The pizza arriving startles a response out of Spencer. He looks around like he is seeing his apartment for the very first time and wondering where he is. It scares me more than I would like to admit. I pay the delivery boy and grab two plates from the kitchen counter. I bring them to the living room. Spencer usually eats his pizza with a fork and a knife but I'm scared and don't want to have anything sharp around. I hate being afraid of Spencer. I think I'm covering it well enough though, or maybe he's just so out of it that he doesn't notice how much in trembling.
Dinner is silent just like the afternoon but Spencer eats and it eases my fears just a little. Studying Spencer's profile closely, there are dark bags under his eyes. I notice how skinny his torso is, and how gaunt his face is. I think he has lost weight. I puzzle over everything I have found out silently. I wonder if he's been drinking? He really needs a shower. Maybe I can get him to pay attention long enough to get him into the bathroom with an already running shower and some clean clothes.
But silence is not a natural environment for stories.
They need words.
Without them they grown pale, sicken and die.
And then they haunt you.
- Diane Setterfield
Part 3
Until I feared I would lose it,
I never loved to read.
One does not love breathing.
- Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
Friday March 30th, 2007
10:00 pm
"There was a man called Grin, nicknamed Hairy-Cheek because he was born with a certain peculiarity, and this is how it happened." There is a pillow across Spencer's stomach to prop up the book he is reading aloud. His voice is low and soothing as he reads the adventures of Arrow-Odd. It is a new one, a Viking romance, and I like it already.
This is a striking change from just thirty minutes ago when Spencer came out of the bathroom, having finally showered. He was shaking and rushing around the apartment frantically searching for something. He must have found what ever he was looking for in the bathroom because he came out about ten minutes ago, significantly calmer and decided that he wants to read to me. Spencer's voice is a welcome change to the silence that has surrounded us for the past six hours.
Spencer is wearing flannel dark blue plaid pajamas and one blue sock and one white sock, Jen gave them to him last Christmas. He usually wears this set when he's sick. He is lying on his back next to me in his bed. Spencer's bed is really big and comfortable. Jen would probably object to me sharing a bed with Spencer if she knew but the only other option is the couch. Maybe she does know but just hasn't said anything. It's not like we're going to do anything, sometimes it's just nice to be close to someone. It's calming and soothing, I wonder who needs the serenity more, Spencer or me.
It's funny how Spencer can read 20 000 words per minute remembering everything and yet, when he reads out loud, he is so calm and slow. Spencer used to read to me every week over the phone, even when the team was on a case, he hasn't read to me in almost two months, not since they got back from Georgia. I don't even talk to Jen when she's on a case, but Spencer used to call every night and ask me how my day went and what I was learning in class.
I plug in the nightlight that I always bring over to Spencer's place. It's got a little tree with some birds in the branches. Derek gave it to him as a joke and Spencer was so embarrassed over it he was beet red. So I pretended that I had always wanted one "Oh! It's so pretty!" and asked to trade with Spencer. My gag gift from Penelope was a pair of plastic handcuffs. Jen was not impressed, but I think they were awesome and they were put to good use, Emily and I cuffed Derek to a table. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't plug in the tree night-light. Somehow I don't think Spencer needs more shadows right now.
Spencer reads a few more chapters of Arrow-Odd and as I start to drift off to sleep, he starts telling me all about Vikings. How the Icelandic people were not really called Vikings because viking is a noun, meaning piracy or war-like maritime expedition. In Heathen days, it was usual for young men of distinction to make a viking to foreign parts and was part of a man's education. A vikingr is the person who makes this expedition. Derives from vik, which means, "bay" because they'd invade through bays, creeks and inlets.
I like falling asleep to the sound of his voice. It is calming and I have missed it. I have not slept over at Spencer's apartment since February. There I go, ruining my calm again. I should pay more attention to Spencer. He's talking about etymology now, where saga is derived from sagia, which means "to tell" or "to narrate". Saga, (plural sögur) were written in Old Norse, mainly in Iceland. A Fornaldarsögur, like Arrow-Odd is an epic, a type of folkloric, legendary, "mythical hero" saga. It is a tale about old times, with no real concept of historical voracity.
I'm glad Henkel didn't destroy Spencer completely, he's still there, buried under the silence. "Good night Spence." I whisper, curling up next to him. Spencer doesn't answer or acknowledge that I've said anything; he just keeps talking at me about something. I am too tired to follow his train of thought.
It is what you read when you don't have to
that determines what you will be when you can't help it.
- Oscar Wilde
AN2: All information given about 'Vikings' is accurate :)