Author's Note: After close to two years writing Glee fanfiction – and jumping back and forth St. Berry and Puckleberry – I've decided the time has come to rewrite (and hopefully finish) my first baby. I've improved quite a bit as a writer since I first started working on 'Never Gonna Be Alone', and it's time it also reaped the rewards from it.
AU (sort of) from 'Mash-Up'.
Thank you, from the bottom of my shipper heart, for all the reviews and alerts and support. You're amazing and I love you.
Disclaimer: Not mine. It belongs to RIB and Fox.
Never Gonna Be Alone
One: Total Eclipse of the Heart
Rachel
She wakes up with a startle, blinking drowsily as her eyesight gets used to the sunlight-filled room. She's feeling strangely warm, her limbs numb, tingling as she moves slightly and blood rushes through her body. Raising up a hand to rub the sleep out of her eyes, she feels the warmth of a breath brushing intimately against the delicate skin of her neck, and she stiffens for a moment, as she tries to remember what happens.
As the memories come flooding back into her senses, she allows herself to relax only for a moment. Blinking slowly, she finds Noah's asleep face pressed against her shoulder, his much-larger body draped over hers. Their legs are entwined together, one of her arms stretched along his spine and the other draped over her eyes to protect them from the rising sunlight. She sleepily looks around searching for his alarm clock – and a rush of adrenaline falls over her as she sees it's more than six in the morning.
"OH MY GOD!" She shrieks, sitting up the best she can with Noah still comfortably settled over her body. Her sudden movement startles him awake, and he rolls off of her and almost falls off the bed; rubbing his eyes, he stares at her for a moment before smiling sleepily and pulling her back down with him. "Noah!" She shrieks again. "I have to go, my fathers are no doubt worried sick with me!"
"No, they're not", Noah mumbles, voice rough from sleep as he snuggles into her warmth. He drapes an arm around her waist and pulls her closer, pressing a quick kiss on the curve of her neck. "I woke up to your phone ringing and I told them we were watching a movie and you fell asleep. Your dad seemed pretty pissed, so I also told him you were helping me baby-sit the brat and he chilled out".
"Oh..." Rachel breathes as she relaxes slightly in the cocoon of Noah's arms, touching around without looking for her cell phone. "I'm going to call them and explain myself... Hopefully they won't be so angry since you told them where I spent the night..." She makes a small pause and then adds, grumbling, "Also, hopefully they won't think we have had intercourse".
A muffled chuckle escapes Noah's lips as he closes his eyes and relaxes next to her. Rachel's still a virgin, even though little by little they have been crossing through all the bases. This line, however, has yet to be crossed, for she isn't the only one insecure of her first time. Given everything that has happened, and is happening, with Quinn, Noah is understandably reluctant, but if there's something Rachel knows with absolute certainty concerning her relationship with Noah Puckerman, it's that she won't abide by her rule of no-sex-until-25.
She wriggles a little within his embrace, still looking for her pink bejeweled phone, and, after a few moments, his hands come to rest on her hips, stopping her. She blinks up at him, confused, and is surprised by the deep, burning green of his eyes, dark with lust. "Rach", he whispers, his voice throaty and rough; he takes a minute to clear his throat, "If you want to remain a virgin until we're both ready for... that... to happen, then you really need to stop that, baby".
Rachel's cheeks flame up, brightly red, as she feels just how much her wriggling around has affected him. Looking up at him, her face twists in an bashful, apologetic smile, and he laughs and kisses her softly. "That's okay, baby. You know I'm cool with waiting, yeah?" He looks around for a moment and finally catches sight of her phone; stretching his arm slightly behind her, he grabs the brightly pink gadget and hands it to her, getting out of the bed immediately. Her eyes drink up his flawless physique as she presses the speed-dial to her house.
"Hello?" Hiram Berry answers the phone, and Rachel startles out of her awed appreciation of Noah's body.
"Daddy! Hi!" She rushes out, a little breathless. "Sorry I went missing last night, but Mrs. Puckerman had the night shift and Nina wanted me to help take care of her. Noah and I were watching a movie and I fell asleep, and he didn't think it was safe to wake me up to go home".
"Rachel", Hiram says a little laughingly. "Relax, sweetie. It's okay. We were worried, of course, but once Noah told us what happened, we were happy you found a boyfriend so worried. Just, for my own peace of mind, tell me you guys used protection".
"DADDY!" Rachel shrieks, heat flaming up her cheeks. "No such thing happened!" She sputters, sitting on the bed and letting her legs fall on its side. She hears Noah laughing, and her blush deepens. When her daddy speaks again, she rolls her eyes – she can almost see his smirk.
"Sure, sweetheart. Well, hopefully we'll see you later today, yes?"
"Yes", Rachel replies with a firm nod, cradling her phone between her shoulder and her cheek while she gathers all her hair in one hand and fashions it in a messy bun. "Mrs. Puckerman doesn't have the night shift today – I think she even has the day off – and so they won't need me around".
"Okay, baby. Have a good day. Love you".
"I love you too, daddy. Give dad a kiss for me".
"Will do. Bye, Rachel".
"Bye, daddy". With that she finishes the call and picks up a clean towel from the pile inside Noah's wardrobe. She goes towards the bathroom and finds Nina's bedroom door open, the young girl inside singing quietly along to the Hannah Montana songs coming from her pink stereo. The front door clicks open and Anne Puckerman's voice rings from the foyer.
"Noah, Nina, I'm home! I brought breakfast!" The older woman calls out, and Nina shrieks and rushes out of her bedroom, half of her hair tied in a pigtail, a brush in her hand and a hairband in her mouth.
"Morning, Rach", Nina muffles out as she rushes out past Rachel, who smiles at her.
"Good morning, Nina". She leans against the wall in front of the closed bathroom door, hearing Noah sing quietly as he showers. She closes her eyes, an unconscious small smile curving her lips as she allows Noah's smooth voice wash over her. Her thoughts then change to what's expecting them that morning, in the aftermath of Jacob's ill-timed revelation. She and Noah spent the last night in their safe haven, a protective bubble, away from everything, consequences kept at bay by the thickness of the night.
What lays in await for them now under the light of the day?
She doesn't know, and this leaves her slightly unsettled. She hates feeling out of control of a situation, and that's what is happening here. She can't predict what will come out of this, other than the end of Quinn's relationship with Finn, and the latter's friendship with Noah. This will shift the entire dynamics of New Directions, something in nature still so frail and uncertain... This, she knows, this revelation, this bombshell in form of news will tear her new team apart, sides will be chosen and decisions will be made.
And she knows where she will stand. Smack dab in the middle of it, right next to Noah, there she will be found, no matter what.
"Babe?" The soulful, quiet voice startles her out of her musings, and she blinks up, her eyes locking with Noah's concerned hazel-green pools. "You okay?" His rough, calloused hand comes up to cup her soft cheek, the skin slightly cool from the shower. It makes her shiver pleasantly, and she leans into his touch, pressing a sweet kiss to the base of his thumb.
"Yes", she whispers, with just a slight tilt of her lips. "I'm going to jump under the shower really fast, okay? I know we have to drop off Nina off and I don't want to delay us any further than necessary".
"No rush, doll", Noah says, kissing her forehead tenderly before stepping into his bedroom. Rachel steps into the bathroom, locks the door behind her and takes a deep, fortifying breath.
Noah
His mother is standing by the kitchen table, her back turned to the door as she sips from her coffee and helps Nina fix the rest of her hair into a second pigtail. Nina's babbling excitedly about how some little girl invited her the previous day to spend today's afternoon in a playdate. "Mornin', ma", he greets her, distracted, mind whirling as he tries to come up with ways to keep Rachel away from him and Finn when they undoubtedly come to blows. Knowing his girl the way he does, he knows she'll stick by his side like glue today and, while he's grateful for her support, he doesn't want to see her hurt in anyway.
And Finn will be on fucking warpath, innocent parties be damned. (Plus, it's fucking unlikely he'll see Rachel as an innocent party, given that she knew the truth and chose not to share it with him – fucking kid still thinks he has dibs on Rachel or something).
"Good morning, Noah", Anne says pleasantly, a satisfied grin in her face. "Rachel spent the night?" She asks immediately after a pause of, like, one nanosecond, and Puck groans. The old bat is planning his fucking wedding already, he knows. He presses his lips together, picks up a cup of coffee... and spits it out all over the kitchen table, reacting to Anne's next words. "So, when shall I bring down your and Nina's old crib down from storage?"
"JESUS, MA!" He yells, wiping his mouth clean from spit and coffee.
"What?" Anne asks with an innocent grin, which turns in a much more genuine smile as Rachel walks in the tiny kitchen, a puzzled frown marring her forehead. "Good morning, Rachel. Did you sleep well?"
"Good morning, Mrs. Puckerman. Yes, I did. I take you had a calm night at the hospital?"
"It wasn't much different from every nightly shift. Thank you for cleaning everything up last night before going to bed, by the way", the older woman shoots her son a little nasty look as she cleans the coffee-y mess off the tabletop
Rachel waves dismissively, snuggling against Noah and resting her cheek on his shoulder. "Nonsense. The house wasn't that messy to begin with when I arrived. Nina was almost asleep, tucked in the couch and watching a movie, and Noah was upstairs working on a few things for glee".
Anne makes a noncommittal noise, and silence falls over the foursome for a moment until Noah lets his cup fall on the kitchen's basin and stands up. "C'mon, Rach, we still need to get you home to change before dropping the Puckerlet off at her school", he says, wrapping his hand around Rachel's and tugging her outside the kitchen. Nina hurries after the two of them, Anne calling out in farewell and reminding Noah to stop by the grocery store to pick up some things she'd need for dinner that evening.
The drive to Nina's school is made in a relaxed way. Even though he's tense, and he knows Rachel can tell, she keeps up chatting with Nina, keeping his sister distracted so she won't realize just how much of a nervous wreck he is at the moment. Rachel even pops in her iPod, scrolls around her playlists and, with a soft 'a-ha!', presses play to the soundtracks of Nina's favorite Disney movies. He makes a few mental notes for song suggestions to glee – Be Our Guest can be made into a kick-ass number, while The Circle of Life is empowering, and Reflections is a beautiful ballad to be sung by one of the resident divas of their little band of misfits – and even duets a little with Rachel in Can You Feel The Love Tonight, but most of the singing is done by Rachel, backed up by Nina's sweet childish voice.
Once they drop Nina off at her school, it's a quick drive to the Berry residence and an even quicker change of clothes for Rachel. The days are getting darker and colder, so she chooses a navy blue skirt with black tights, paired up with a white long-sleeved blouse and a dark blue cardigan. By the time they arrive at McKinley, the parking lot is buzzing with students, whispers and muttered words and glances coming up from all sides as his beat-up green truck cruises through the cluttered parking space.
When he parks at his usual spot, he takes a moment to press his forehead to the wheel, taking deep, cleansing breaths. I'm no fucking pussy, he tells himself, teeth gritted together as he tries to calm his racing heart. The feel of a soft, warm hand on the space between his shoulder blades calms him down just a little; he looks at his right and his eyes find Rachel's loving, concerned face. Seeing that expression on his girlfriend's face emboldens him: fuck the world. He has Rachel Berry on his corner.
And usually, what Rachel Berry wants, Rachel Berry gets.
He smiles a little at her, leans forward and presses his lips sweetly against hers. Her hand comes to cradle his cheek, touching his cheekbone in a light caress, gently biting his lower lip. He growls playfully and she giggles. "Love you, Rach", he whispers, and can feel her smile in their kiss.
She's the first to pull away from their bubble, her swollen lips still slightly tilted in a small smile. "Come on, Noah, we're going to be late", she says, pushing the passenger door open and stepping out of the warm truck cabin. She stands next to the open door, her hand held out in an invitation, an encouraging smile on her lips, and he feels gratitude swell deep within him: she knows how he's feeling and what he can't express (doesn't know how), and is offering him her support. With a last deep breath, he squares his shoulders, picks up his jacket, closes his door and locks the truck once Rachel does the same. Once they meet again, she wraps an arm around his waist while he drapes an arm around her shoulders.
And, as they walk in the buzzing halls of their school, it suddenly hits him how lucky he is that he, unlike Quinn, isn't going to face the backlash of the previous night's blog post alone. Sure, it sucks that his friendship with Finn basically is down the drain, but he doesn't have all eyes of this school set upon him in pity, disdain and manic glee. He has Rachel's eyes looking at him with concern, with love, even, and that is empowering enough to make him walk through the halls of his kingdom with his head held high.
Jacob Ben-Israel be damned, he's the resident badass and he's not going to give up that title.
They stop first at his locker, and thankfully everyone seems to be cutting a clear path away from him. Rachel starts making some small talk about their date for that weekend – she wants to check out some Scarlett Johansson movie, and, since Puck's still appreciative of his babes onscreen, he's all for that – while he picks up his books and shoves his jacket into his locker. Once he slams the locker door closed, he takes Rachel's hand in his and allows her to lead him to her locker.
And that's where their safe bubble is blown up. Because Rachel's locker is two lockers down from Finn's locker, and standing in front of Finn's locker is, well, Finn.
And Finn is looking fucking pissed and having a damn screaming match with a visibly devastated Quinn in front of his locker.
"YOU LIED TO ME!" Finn screams, the vein in his forehead throbbing so much Puck can see it from one end of the hall. Rachel tenses up a little next to him and he squeezes her hand in response. She glances briefly at him but squeezes his hand back, and they clutch at each other's hand tightly as she begins to babble anxiously.
"It was a mistake!" Quinn sobs out, her voice desperate and thick with tears. "I was drunk and feeling fat and insecure because you were skipping away singing love songs and making goo goo eyes at Man-Hands, and he was there and he wanted me! He looked at me when you were busy looking at that thing, Finn! It didn't mean anything!"
"Good morning", Rachel says quietly, and Puck closes his eyes and waits for the blow to come.
Finn might be a little dim-witted, but fuck his (former) boy packs one hell of a punch.
Finn attacks him in the middle of the hallways and he doesn't fight back. Through the blood roaring in his ears, he hears Rachel screaming at Finn to stop, and Quinn's crying and screaming, and the other students are egging Finn on with a unison of 'fight! Fight! Fight!'. He's fallen at the floor, with his eyes closed, and Finn's fists packing punch after punch in his face.
He doesn't see how Rachel desperately tries to tug Finn off of him, tears cascading down her cheeks. He misses how Quinn falls into Brittany's waiting arms and weeps against the taller blonde's shoulders. He'll never know how Matt steps in to keep Rachel from being hurt by Finn by hoisting her up and placing her in Mike's arms.
All he feels is Finn stopping his attack, and Rachel running into him and sobbing into his shirt. "Noah, Noah", she weeps, and he hugs her, nuzzling the tender flesh of her neck lovingly.
"I'm okay, babe, I promise", he whispers. He doesn't dare to look up at Finn, but now that the adrenaline is wearing off, his face is starting to hurt like a bitch, his left eye is throbbing and he can taste coopery blood in his mouth. He can hear the harsh sound of Finn panting thanks to the exertion that was beating him up, and can only imagine how hard the quarterback is glaring at him right now; not only has he won over Rachel's heart (and he has mentioned Finn still thinks he has dibs in their glee club female lead, yeah?), he also got Finn's pristine virgin girlfriend pregnant.
"Rachel", Finn snaps, his steps heavy on the floor; since Rachel's still clinging to him, Noah feels her flinch and squeezes her a little tighter. "C'mon, I'll walk you to class". He waits for her to answer and, when she stays quiet (she's crying silently into his chest – Puck can feel the wet spot in his shirt growing), his tone turns a little cajoling. "C'mon, Rach. You don't have to stay with that backstabbing bastard. I'm here for you".
"No, thank you", she whispers, and Puck sags against her (he had no idea how tense he was until she uttered those three little words).
Rachel
She can tell her refusal has shocked Finn – and everyone else – and it'd make her roll her eyes if she wasn't so busy crying said eyes out over Finn's violent attack on Noah. Noah's rubbing her back softly, his breath coming in soft puffs against the tender skin of her neck, and she presses her forehead against his shoulder, breathing in his smell – deodorant, soap and a twinge of sweat, everything that resumes masculinity, that sums up Noah, now overlaid by a tiny bit of blood. She leans back from him a little bit, her hands slowly letting go of the fabric of his shirt to come cup his cheeks. Her reddened, slightly swollen eyes appraise all the damage caused by Finn's fists to his beautiful face, tears springing up as she notices the darkening bruise on his eye, a cut on his eyebrow and his upper lip busted open. "Oh, Noah..." She whispers, with her voice thick.
"What the fuck? Rachel!" Finn roars. "Don't you know what he did to me? And Quinn?"
She squares her shoulders, looking helplessly at Noah. He squeezes her hip gently, and she turns in his arms to stare, devastated but firm, at Finn. "I do. And I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but Noah's more important to me right now; he's my boyfriend and he's hurting too".
Finn gapes at her, complete shock coloring his handsome features before being replaced by a deep betrayal. "You're siding with him?" He spits, and Rachel shudders at the profound disgust in his voice, but nods once.
"He's my boyfriend, Finn".
"He cheated on you!"
"No, he did not!" Anger flares in her eyes as she stands up. "Noah and I are together for only two months, and Quinn's nearly four months pregnant. What happened with her happened way before we were together, so no, he didn't cheat on me!"
Finn steps away from her with hurt, disappointment and betrayal burning in his eyes; he looks slowly at the other eight gleeks that somehow have managed to form a protective circle around the four of them. The pity he sees in their eyes burns a hole through his pride; they all knew the truth and chose to keep it from him.
"I'm done with you", he announces, fury dripping from his voice. "I'm done with all of you!" He then shoves Mike slightly aside, pushing past the crowd that was watching everything unravel with rapt interest. Quinn breaks free from Santana's hold and tries to go after him, grabbing his sleeve, but he shakes her off with such a strength that she falls to the floor. Santana and Brittany gasp and rush to help her; with tears streaming down her cheeks, she clings to them, the other gleeks fluttering nervously around them.
"Well, that went... fine..." Noah says ironically, and Rachel's overcome with an urge to laugh, so deep that it bursts through her lips. As the crowd disperses, the other gleeks look disbelievingly at her, as her hysterical laughter turns into quiet tears. Noah wraps his arm around her waist and rubs her back comfortingly.
"Oh, Noah, what are we going to do?" She whispers, desperate. He squeezes her a little tighter.
"It'll all be okay, baby, I promise".