CHAPTER 6

Magnus PoV

It was Friday afternoon and I was bumping my head against the wall…literally…I was fucking freaking out and I hated it.

I had no idea what to wear, I hadn't planed what I would say to him, I had no clue what would his reaction be…I was lost because the only thing that I was sure was that Alec was nowhere near the shy boy I used to know. I groaned in frustration just before I heard the doorbell ring, I sighed and walked to see who was disturbing my moment of self pity.

"WHAT?" I barked against the door seeing Camille´s hair through the peek hole not really in the mood to talk to her.

"I know you´re freaking out, I brought someone to help you" I frowned at this, who would help me through this? Ragnor was out of town after all "Open up Magnus" I sighed and opened the door only to be greeted by what could be a girl version of Alec, except she had dark eyes instead of the beautiful sapphires I loved and a rather harsh expression.

"Who are you?" I inquired looking at her designer boots, skinny black jeans and red blouse approvingly, she knew how to dress I could give her that.

"Isabelle Lightwood, Alec´s sister" she smiled also looking at me from head to toe, at the moment I was not flamboyant at all, I had my hair down, no makeup at all, a pink tee and blue sweats that hung low in my waist…hey at least I had showered before I started to freak out about seeing Alexander.

"Nice to meet you"

"Well I´m just delivery…have fun" said Camille before she blew me a kiss and walked away. Sighing I moved letting a hand show Isabelle the way inside my flat, she walked to the living room "Why are you here?" I was not in the mood to be polite.

"I´m here because I wanna make sure you don't screw things up again" she said in a fierce voice "Last time you practically shattered my brother and only because I like to think you´ve learned from your mistakes I´m letting this thing be, but be aware Magnus Bane that if you hurt my brother again, kiss your pretty face goodbye…even if I think that maybe Alec could do that by himself at this point" I raised an eyebrow at this "Oh yes, he will punch you" she smiled "You made sure that he made some fucking big walls around him, so I´m here to warn you about the new Alec" I bit my lip and sat on the bed.

"He must hate me" I decided to let my own walls down, I needed to be somehow prepared for the evening, I needed to know the most I could about him.

"No" she spoke softly "But he´s not that willing to jump again just yet" her eyes turned cold "Why did you do it?"

"I may sound like the biggest cliché there is but I did it because I was young and idiotic…I wanted my career to take off and I thought an affair with an awkward closet kid would fuck my chances to get to that point" I passed a hand thought my face hating that stupid decision.

"Well at least you´re frank about it" she sighed then her eyes went back to looking at my clothes "I don't suppose you´re wearing that, are you?"

"No" I took and end of my shirt looking at it grimacing "But I have no idea what to wear…God I feel like a teenage girl on her first date" I ducked my head in shame.

"The Magnus Bane nervous over my awkward brother…now that's something I didn't expect" she chuckled and I tried not to flinch…I officially hated those words now "I remember my shock when he told us you guys kissed at the party"

"Don't be surprised…your brother is the most amazing person I have and will ever know" I spoke looking at her in the eye "I'm not great, I'm much too far away from that…he's the one that's truly great for the simple gift of the doubt he's giving me" I took a deep breath "I don't wan to ruin things again… I wan to be there with him I want to get to know the new Alec, to see what's different from the boy in the park …I think I know what to wear" a small grin traveled through my lips… I saw a dancing rainbow, he had always seen me colorful, running around like a hyper kid…he had no idea how colorful he was under all those ugly black clothes, I could see the real him in those sapphire eyes…he had also seen the real me, the one that dressed in colors because they made him happy, not the flamboyant star that dressed for show. I got up and walked to my room not giving any other explanation to his sister, she didn't follow as I surfed through the deep layers of my closet only to find my favorite tee, it was yellow with a simple rainbow drawing and two cartoon-ish boys holding hands, yeah big gay parade one. I took out my blue hoodie, simple skinny jeans and gliterized silver vans –hey I could rock slip-ons too-. I had decided that in order of showing Alexander that I meant my words and that I truly cared about him, I had to take away all my layers and just go there simple, being me, the boy he met at the park. I changed deciding to leave my hair down, I walked to my mirror and just put on some eyeliner, a small cape of glitter and I was done…I felt naked like this, I was too used to have covers of fashion on me…but being Alec the person I wanted to see me I knew this was the best option.

"Yes" was all Isabelle said when I came out of my room, I smiled at her feeling reassured for the first time…this could go just right. She smiled and a gleam I couldn't quite place swept through her eyes as she stood to face me "Please make my brother happy" she sighed "Life's been hard for him and I don't want to think that my gut it's telling me wrong by doing this…I can see that you know how to make the best impression on him" she eyed my outfit "Now go and take your guitar, music has always made him happy…maybe you can even make him sing again"

"He stopped?" I inquired not liking that, he had an exceptional voice.

"He closed himself to the world, only communicating his feelings through his lyrics…we found them thanks to Jace, he almost begged Alec to let the band use them…"

"Band?" I frowned; there was so much I didn't know about him that kind of scared me.

"Nephilim the…"

"Rock band revelation" I spoke in awe, Ragnor was a big fan "Alexander wrote all their lyrics?"

"Yes, do you…"

"He's a genious!" I was amazed at this, even I loved some songs from the band, thanks to that Camille had been able to invite them to my party…which meant "Wait, we called this Jace guy and he told us he didn't know Alec" she had the nerve to smile at this.

"Alec was there, he didn't want him to tell that they're brothers" I didn't want to acknowledge the pang I felt in my heart hearing that he didn't want to be reached by me.

"Oh well its time for me to get going" I took a deep breath before taking my guitar and leading Isabelle out of the apartment.

"Can I see where you used to hang out?" she asked sheepishly while we boarded the elevator.

"Don't you know?" I frowned.

"He's been really cryptic about all this…that's why I wanted to know you because he can tell us the facts but he gets the feelings for himself, locations and names…we have no idea what he felt with you, what you used to do..."

"We used to sing, he helped me with my songs…and we met at the park not far from here" I turned to look at her while she smiled slowly.

"Have you ever thought that all these years you have been living fairly close to him?" I chuckled at this.

"Every damn day" we walked out of the elevator and after a short goodbye –and a little warning from the Lightwood girl- I was on my way to the park wearing my shades and hoodie not wanting anybody to recognize me and ruin this. I was so glad my fans didn't know my address or some might deduce which park was the one. I smiled breathing hard at the sight of the familiar park, I had avoided getting close to that place hating the memories, but now I was there with hope…real, unhealthy, raw hope to get things right. I moved to our tree, glad that it was still there and sat under its shadow before I began playing softly yearning the moment where Alexander showed up.

Alec PoV

Not good…definitely not good…I wanted to puke…yeah throwing up might be good now instead of in front of Magnus in FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES….again, not good.

Up until now this day had been one of those days when you just wanted to crawl back to bed and wait till everything passed. I had woken up by the cold and hard kiss of the floor…seriously I hadn't fallen of my bed sense I was five! Why now? Well because I had been having nightmare after nightmare all night long thinking of what could happen today. Then I had been graciously burned by my exploding coffee cup…yeah I didn't want to think of the scientific meaning of boiling water on the microwave, I wanted to just mark it as a bad idea. Then I had to go and take a shower at Jace's because I had no running water because something happened to the pipes and well…yeah. After that I had gone back home to my safe and warm holey sweater, ripped jeans and converse…I couldn't wear anything else, besides Magnus already knew the real me…even with my specs he hadn't seem to care…or at the beginning…fuck I had no idea if that was truth or just my brain trying to give me hope. I groaned passing a hand through my face, now I was sweating like a pig, I was trembling and I was definitely freaked out…what had come over me? I had been so sure about being able to face him again but the truth was that I was not in any way ready to see Magnus Bane. I was slowly remembering every night crying myself to sleep, the loneliness that took over my life for being to afraid of letting people in…fuck, should I go? Maybe I could tweet him back or…yeah bad idea…ever sense those tweets people had started following me, I officially had fans and haters…all for two tweets from Magnus…damn, what would happen if we became something? Then I would suck it up because I really, honestly wanted him and fuck he seemed to have good intentions…I had no idea what would happen but I was sure that I needed to talk to him, to know why at least. So I got out of my apartment and called a cab before I decided to rethink things and go back. I bit my lip nervously as the driver moved around, I moved my eyes seeing the man frowning through the rearview, I crooked my head to the side before turning my body around only to see a black car behind us…the driver moved to the right, and so did the car, the driver moved to the left…and so did the car.

"D-do you think that it's…?" the question died in my lips as the car sped passing the cab…it was safe to say that I wasn't the only one letting out a breath, there had been some news about cabs getting robed so it was understandable that the guy was a little paranoid…until the black car appeared again in front of the cab and hitting the breaks making the driver spin violently in order to not crash the car…I was glad I always wore my seatbelt as I grasped the seat at the sudden movement. When the car came to a stop I let my hand tug my shirt over my racing heart as I tried to calm myself…there was a reason why I walked everywhere, I wasn't very found of cars and accidents.

"You ok?" asked the driver, I nodded feeling my lips dry before my eyes widen seeing three man walk out of the black car…they walked to stand next to my door before opening it and pointing at me with a fucking GUN.

"I'm saying this thing once, either you follow us willingly or I make you come with us" said one of the man, he was tall, handsome in a twisted-psycho-killer way, light blond hair and really crazy eyes…yeah a hot bastard that wanted me…this was so not my day.

Magnus PoV

8:15 pm. I watched the time in my phone before blinking fast trying to swallow my tears. I had waited two hours for him, there sitting at the park looking like an anxious idiot. He had stood me up, now more than ever I was sure he hated me, he couldn't even give the time to talk…to just tell it to my face at least.

I hugged my knees letting my head fall to the front, I sure hoped no paparazzi could recognize me or I would be screwed…The Magnus Bane heartbroken over Blue Eyes…yeah pretty headlights. It was hard to breathe, I felt a throbbing pressure in my chest making harder to feel something other than the dull ache of a broken heart as I embraced the last trace of control I had left to get up, take my guitar and walk back home. My body slowly went numb with each passing step, by the time I reached my flat I couldn't go further the front door, I closed it and let my back against it feeling hot salted tears run free through my face when hard sobs took over my shivering body…I had done everything I could, I couldn't make him forgive me…maybe it was time to forget about him for real?

Ahem Sorry for the typos! Really I try my best and I'm not very found of the idea of a beta…sue me! Okay then, what did you think? What happened to Alec? Who do you think it is? Who else wants to hug Magnus?

Review?

Take care!

P.S. Yeah short chapter but next one will be long and remember M-rated isn't just for smut.