You're not alone

There's more to this I know

You can make it out

You will live to tell

-Saosin, You're Not Alone

Bella POV

The next school day went by in a blur. I didn't really know where Edward and I stood right now, and it was such a relief that he was suspended. Not that I wouldn't put it past him to sneak in my window today or something.

And of course it was even more of a relief that Mike Newton was out of the picture…for the time being. But at least he probably won't mess with me anymore. At least not with Edward around. Because they'll both arrive back at the same time. Although, I'm surprised our prick of a principal didn't suspend Edward longer, because he was clearly worse. Well, worse in the causing trouble aspect. Mike most definitely looked worse.

Alice kind of talked to me a little, only innocent things like how she's going shopping this weekend in Port Angeles. I just nodded whenever was necessary. I really should let her down easily. I mean, the longer I wait to just out and say that I don't want to be her friend, the more she will be hurt. And she's the new girl. I definitely know how it is to not know anyone in this school, what with being the outcast and everything.

I thought about introducing her to Angela Weber, one of my old acquaintances. They'd surely get along, and I know that if Alice would become distracted by Angela then she'd leave me alone. Angela probably could use another friend too. She wasn't really part of the popular crowd, and she'd lost me as a friend when I became a total loner.

Today at school Emmett smiled at me again. Nothing new. I just brushed right past him. As much as it hurt to, I am not here to make any friends. I'm not here to please anyone or make them happy.

I arrived home only to find Charlie ranting and raving to why Mike Newton and Edward Cullen had gotten into a fight. He said one of the deputies informed him of this and he was sure that my skanky little ass had something to do with it.

Funny, because I don't ever remember even losing my virginity, but apparently I've already had sex with two boys.

That didn't really hurt me. But what really dug deep into my feelings was the last thing he said to me. He looked me dead in the face and said: "You're just like your whore mother."

I lost all sanity there. I ran out of the house. I didn't care if he followed me and beat my ass in public. People would see. They already think I'm a freak, so why not?

Maybe he would get thrown in jail. Right. They would arrest the chief of the police, their "hero" Charlie Swan. Some fucking hero.

I cried so hard while walking. I don't even know where I was walking. I passed everywhere and ended up on the main road.

It wasn't raining, but still, the sun wasn't out. Well, no rain, that's something new.

Although lately I've fallen in love with the rain. It never fails to disappoint.

I almost fell to my knees and curled up into a ball in the middle of the sidewalk. But I composed myself…barely.

I could barely breathe. I know I shouldn't blame Charlie personally, but he compared me to my mother. The one who totally left us and fails to even give her daughter an explanation. Lives her life as if I was nothing but a mistake, a chapter in her past that she's ashamed to ever have had, as if I was nothing of importance to her.

That right there was enough to kill me. But to be compared to her?

"Bella?"

I turned to see a pretty sports car next to me. The window was rolled down. I looked inside, where it was Rosalie Hale that sat.

She was driving past my walking, but then she stopped the car and rushed to my side.

"What the hell happened? Are you okay?"

"Fuck! Why is everyone asking me if I'm okay? Do I look okay?" I sobbed.

To my surprise, she remained completely calm.

"Come to my car. There's something you should know."

I was completely confused. But we were in her car within moments, windows rolled up.

She looked far more distraught than me. I had no idea that was even possible, but it was. Rosalie proved that point.

"I understand," she said quietly.

How could the ever so perfect, gorgeous Rosalie Hale understand everything that I am going through? She couldn't even fathom what I was going through one bit.

"How would you understand? You don't even know me," I mumbled, tears streaming down my face.

She fiddled with her fingers. "No, Bella. I do. I know…I know what you're going through."

I sighed. I wasn't going to argue with this any further. I opened the car door and started to get out, but she lightly grasped my forearm.

"Don't leave. Please let me explain this," she said on the verge of tears.

I slammed the car door shut and waited for her to begin to give a failed attempt at relating.

It was silent for a second, but then she spoke.

"When I was six years old, my parents used to send me on weekend trips to my Uncle Collin's. Jasper went to day care. I didn't get along with little girls. I never wanted to share and I used to take their cookies and things like that. I'd even pull some little girls' pigtails if I didn't get my way. I've come a long way from that," she let out a breathy, forced laugh. "At first, I loved going over to spend time with Uncle Collin. Maybe a little too much fun. My mom used to get so mad because he'd give me so much sugar over the weekend and bring me home for her to deal with the hyper aftermath. It started off slow, just little affectionate kisses along my jaw line sometimes. He would hold my hand all of the time. Sometimes feel up my shirt while we watched cartoons. I didn't really make much of it, because I was young and naïve. I mean, I was six, how was I to know any better? Well then, things started getting more…rough, more aggressive. He'd force me onto the couch into a huge fit of tickles, and it was fun at first, but then he wouldn't stop. I'd beg him to, because he was really starting to hurt my rib cages. He'd finally stop the tickling and start feeling me up."

I was surprised at how calm she'd remained through all of this. Her eyes were glossy with tears, but they never came down. It's like she had some supernatural power to keep them in her eyes.

"Little by little, he'd throw something new in there. When I'd noticed that what he was doing wasn't normal, it wasn't right, I'd asked him like any other naïve little girl would. I didn't know that if I simply asked him what was going on that he would…"

She paused and a tear fell, and she immediately brushed it away.

"He told me that if I told anyone, he would kill my mom and dad. I believed him, of course. So I just listened to him and let him do whatever he wanted to me. My parents would occasionally find a bruise here and there and question me about it. I'd tell them that I fell or something. They didn't think anything of it. I was just a little kid; a hyper one at that."

She stopped and she almost started crying but she exhaled deeply.

"What happened then?"

"One day…I came over and he started to feel me up again. Well he exposed all of himself to me, and almost forced all of my clothes off. I let out loud screams. I was…I was so scared, Bella…I didn't know what to do. He held my mouth shut, and soon I couldn't breathe…so I fainted, and passed out. Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. My mother was there, crying hysterically. She blamed herself, she still does. But it wasn't her fault. I fucking blamed myself, can you believe that? I thought I had done that shit to myself. I thought I had deserved all of that. I asked what happened, and no one would tell me. All I knew is that my Uncle was locked up. To this day, I don't know what happened. They just assured me that I was safe. I don't even know how I was saved, how I was torn from my Uncle's clutches…but its not like anything has changed…things got worse for a while…I started having these horrible, frightening nightmares. Then I met Emmett. Every time I was sad I'd sneak over to his house and he would hold me until I fell asleep. At the time he just looked at me as a little sister. But Bella, I was just so completely in love with him. One day I'd gotten the courage to kiss him, but he froze up, and told me that he didn't feel the same way. He loved me, but not in that way. I told him it was only a fucking year apart that we were. But still…he still didn't look at me as…grown up, I guess you could say. I used to even hang out with Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley. Ugh, the horror of being friends with them. I'd make fun of some losers here and there, but mostly just keep to myself and let them do all of the dirty work. But after a long summer, the summer of sophomore year, I'd done some major soul searching and realized that those girls were only bringing me down. So, I started to stick around my brother more…I'd hang around with him. One day, they all were…they all were going to…"

She stiffened a little.

"Tell me, Rosalie," I said, softly, surprising her and even myself.

"They were planning on embarrassing you. They were going to walk over to you and tell you that you needed a hair cut and that…that no wonder why your mom left you, you are worthless," she nearly whispered the last part. I almost cried hysterically, but I wanted to wait for her to finish.

"Well, I told them off completely. I still sat with them because Jasper's table was filled with boys. Plus, he sat with Emmett…and things were still awkward in that department. Well, anyway, I told them that they are immature bitches that are the most worthless pieces of trash I'd ever met and that they could screw themselves. I'd never stuck up for myself or anyone like that before. I also told them if I hear anything about them embarrassing you again then I was going to tell you about it. I was going to warn you also, but they backed off. I stormed out of the cafeteria. Jasper and Emmett's table were behind us, so they saw everything. Well, they didn't know who it was about, because I'm sure both Edward and Emmett would have snapped on them too. I heard someone say 'no I'll go' and I thought it was Jasper. But I was wrong. Emmett found me in the hallway. I wasn't even crying like I used to. I was just pissed off. He told me it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and I'm not the girl he thought I was…I was a woman. And then we kissed. We've been together ever since," she finished.

I didn't even know how to respond to that story.

"I…I should have told you…I should have talked to you sooner."

"Wait—how do you know…"

She obviously knows that I'm being abused.

"This is the worst part…a couple months ago I was passing by and I thought I'd stop by and say hi. Just a weird impulse. I wanted to have a female friend, ya know? Hanging out with all boys gets tiring. I thought maybe I'd let you know that if you ever wanted to hang out, you could call me. And then I'd give you my number. I always thought you hated me, so that's why I never approached you before. But finally, I just said, fuck it…"

I waited a moment for her to go on.

"I saw him hit you, Bella. I wanted to do something…anything. But it hurt too much. Memories flooded my brain. And the nightmares came back that night…I wanted to help, Bella…I swear to fucking god I wanted to…"

She was sobbing uncontrollably, and broke down. She gripped the staring wheel as she bowed her head, barely breathing with her crying.

I cried too. "No, Rosalie. Don't blame yourself. It would have been hard for anyone to witness that…especially someone who's been through that kind of thing before…"

"Bella, please say that you'll forgive me?"

I nodded yes and stopped my crying.

"And please say that you'll come to me if anything goes wrong…I won't tell because I understand you care about him. But…I want you to know I'm here…you're not alone. Please remember that. I know how it feels to be all alone in that kind of situation…so please trust me," she said, still crying non-stop.

"O-okay…but it might take me a while to…open up," I said in between sobs.

"I understand, Bella. As long as you'll give it a try," she said calmly. She sniffled and stopped her crying at once.

I stopped crying too.

"You know…Emmett really misses you. He talks about you sometimes. I tell him that its not personal that you don't talk to him anymore, even though he says he doesn't understand and that he didn't do anything."

"Does…does he know…"

"Oh, no, Bella. I haven't told anyone. And I won't. But I just want to make sure that you are safe. If you are being put in danger, please call me."

I nodded. "I think I will."

She smiled softly.

We sat in the car talking the rest of the night before she dropped me back off to my house to a sleeping Charlie.

And for the first time in a long time, I had hope.

xoxo, B.