A/N: Yeah, I know... I SUCK at updates. Would it help that I'm actually sorry? :)

"If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark"

- I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie

Chapter Nine

Fine Mind

I was bleeding.

The blood pooled at the tip of my finger then ran down my hand like a scarlet rivulet before staining the sleeve of my shirt. More blood began to pool again but before it could run, I shoved my throbbing finger under the running faucet. The water in the sink was stained with red instantly. I squeezed my eyes closed.

"Oh God," I gulped air through my mouth. The sight of blood was enough to get me immediately woozy. "Oh God, oh God. Yuck."

I flicked the faucet off with my other hand and grabbed a wad of toilet paper, creating a makeshift bandage for my stinging finger. The cut felt deep; I was almost positive stitches were in order.

"Carlisle." I said evenly, knowing he'd hear me from wherever he was in the room. "Carlisle, I need you. Emergency."

I could really be an idiot sometimes. I had come stumbling in here first thing this morning looking for an Advil or anything that would ease the fierce headache I'd contracted, when I had cut my finger. I didn't want to call what I had a hangover; a hangover would have been preceded by copious drinking, and I remembered clearly enough that I'd only had two drinks. Two strong as hell drinks, but two nonetheless. Immediately, I had headed for my makeup bag where I was sure I must have some painkillers, and while thrashing around in there blindly, I'd pierced my finger on a pair of scissors.

Right, forgot I'd packed those.

Next thing I knew, my finger was in pain, there was a river of blood running down my hand and I was standing, eyes closed, with a clump of reddening toilet paper around my finger. Typical day in the life of Isabella Swan, move along please.

The door was pushed open tentatively. "Bella?"

"Come in, Carlisle. Don't look so nervous, either. Just a bleeding finger, no girl problems."

Carlisle stepped inside, shaking his head. "I was afraid you needed me to get you tampons or something. Sorry, Bella, but I'm hopeless at that sort of thing. Wouldn't know where to start."

He chuckled and approached me, then clucked his tongue softly upon seeing my hand. Slowly, he unravelled my mummified finger and ran it under the faucet again, washing away the tiny pieces of paper that had stuck to the cut.

"How disappointing, Doctor." I smirked, "Medical degree and the man can't navigate his way around tampons! That's shameful," I teased.

Carlisle was assessing the cut. He didn't lift his eyes to meet mine but smirked nonetheless. "If you are forgetting, none of the women I live with have that problem. Never had to deal with it and I'm biding my time hoping I never will."

I shook my head but laughed. Anything to keep my focus off the blood and the smell and the stinging…

"What a guy."

He looked up and met eyes with me. I was immediately reminded of the night before. The two of us dancing under the moonlight, the cool touch of his hands on my bare arms. My stomach squirmed a little with warmth.

"How do you manage to do these things to yourself, Bella?" He asked gently. "I think you're going to need stitches."

I braced my good hand on his shoulder and pushed myself up on the counter. "Get it over with, Doc," I teased, feigning bravery. "I'd like the use of my hand back, please."

He touched a hand lightly to my waist before pulling open the door and stepping out of the small bathroom. "Let me just get my medical bag."

Carlisle returned a moment later, medical bag in hand. "Well, this feels like déjà vu, doesn't it?" He asked with a smile.

"I think there might have been more blood last time. And I vaguely remember a piano."

Carlisle set to work. I avoided looking at my hand as best as I could, so to distract myself, I contented my thoughts in watching him work. His golden eyes were focused and keen, his hair shone in the fluorescent bathroom light. A strand fell forward over his eyes and I reached my good hand over, brushing it away in a sweeping gesture.

Carlisle raised his head and met eyes with me again. A small smile was playing on his lips. He opened his mouth to speak but just then his cell phone rang.

Timidly, I reached into his pant pocket and plucked out the tiny silver phone. Carlisle, as he was busy with his hands, nodded for me to answer it. I turned the phone over and checked the caller ID.

"It's Edward." I said blankly.

Carlisle raised his head again, and this time his eyes were flat.

"Answer it."

I pressed the "Receive Call" button and lifted the phone to my ear hesitantly.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" Edward sounded pleasantly surprised. I could hear the smile in his voice. It made my stomach turn again guiltily. "Hello, love. How are you?"

"Fine." I said slowly. "How are… how are things there?"

He paused for a moment, noticing the odd tone of my voice, before answering me again. "Not all that great, to be honest with you. Is everything alright with you?"

I mentally scolded myself for being a terrible actress. "I just… um, well, I kind of sliced my finger open this morning. Carlisle is stitching me up as we speak."

I heard him sigh heavily. "Bella," He chided, "I send you away to keep you safe and you end up getting hurt anyway."

Brief anger flared in me at the words "send you away". Edward knew how much his decision-making on my part frustrated me and still it seemed he was just fine with mentioning it, even after our conversation before I'd left. Carlisle had noticed me stiffen and looked up worriedly. I shook my head and curled my foot around his leg. The bracing touch lessened my brief anger and I visibly relaxed.

"Yeah, sorry." I mumbled. "I'm not good with coordination and all that, it was bound to happen. Anyway, you were saying? Things there aren't going well?"

Carlisle looked up again. He was placing a bandage over my stitches. I hadn't even noticed him finish.

Edward sighed again, and I was thankful he hadn't heard the slight steel in my voice. "It's Victoria. This hunt for her… it's not going too well. Seems like it's been dragging on a lifetime."

Carlisle was listening intently, his keen hearing picking up on Edward's words. He slowly packed up his bag while keeping an ear on our conversation.

"You still haven't caught Victoria?" I didn't have to fake the fear in my voice. "Where is she?"

"We don't know." Edward replied softly. It was a tiny bit strange to me that a whole coven of vampires had still not been able to hunt down one other, no matter how fast or smart she was. It made me think something was wrong with the whole picture, that something was worrisome. The Cullens were all talented and strong… if they couldn't catch her, who would?

I could hear the mounting stress in his voice as he spoke again. "It almost seems like… like she's left. Gone somewhere else, to haunt another forest. I don't know what it is, Bella. We haven't even had a glimpse of her for three days, usually she'll turn up to at least bait us if nothing else. It's the silence that worries me most of all. Like the eerie calm before a storm."

"And Alice?" I asked through a dry throat, "Alice can't see her?"

"Alice is incapacitated." He replied, his voice getting only tenser. "She can't see anything."

"What?" I asked, horrified.

"That's what makes this whole situation even worse. Alice's power seems like it's been flickering on and off for a while now. And just yesterday… nothing. She's blind."

Carlisle was staring at the phone in shock. His hands were grasping the fabric of my pants tightly. He made no motion to take the phone from me so I held onto it with a shaking hand to my ear.

Edward continued. "Bella, we don't know where Victoria is. If Alice is blind… then we're blind too. We won't find her."

"Oh my God." It was all I could say.

Edward seemed to want to say more. "It's Alice that is stressing me out most of all. Can a vampire just lose their powers? I wanted to ask Carlisle about that, see if he had any insight."

I looked up at Carlisle, still frozen in shock. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking if he had anything to say about it and very slightly, he shook his head.

"He's shaking his head." I replied slowly, "I don't think he knows."

Edward sighed heavily.

"What did you mean," I inquired hesitantly, "about Alice's vision flickering for the past few days?"

"She just kept complaining about one vision. Said it kept bothering her, blocking out her other visions, making it hard to see. She couldn't tell what it meant though. That frustrated her most of all."

I remembered Alice pulling me away at the airport, warning me of an indistinct vision she'd had of losing me…

"Did she say what it was about?" I asked hoarsely.

Edward was silent. "She didn't say. But I caught a glimpse of it once."

"And?"

"It was about you."

I gulped. Carlisle's eyes were trained on mine.

"But…" Edward said unsurely, "I think she's just exhausted herself. We've been hounding her to anticipate Victoria's every move and to make sure you and Carlisle are safe in Paris. It might have been too much for her. Her vision's probably just on a break."

He chuckled awkwardly.

We both knew vampires didn't "exhaust" themselves. But Edward was lying to me, hoping to abate my worry and probably his own with unfounded excuses.

The both of us knew why he was lying. I think there was a part of him, a part like me, that worried what exactly those blurry visions of me had held that could cause Alice Cullen to go blind.

"I don't know, Carlisle. I don't feel right about this." I was worrying the sleeve of my jacket between my fingers, picking at the loose threads.

He slid an arm over my shoulders easily, bracing me. "We don't have to go," He stated simply, "We can stay in. Talk about it if you like."

The weather was less mild out today, and the slight chill in the air penetrated the cold guilt already taking council in my chest. The breeze picked up slightly and ruffled my hair around my face. Carlisle smoothed it out of my eyes and watched me warily.

"Whatever it is that has you so rattled… you can confide in me, Bella." He said earnestly. I found sincerity in his golden eyes and felt oddly guilty.

"It's just Alice," I replied wearily. This half-truth would hopefully abate him. I didn't enjoy lying to Carlisle but Alice had explicitly told me that this specific piece of information had to stay between the two of us…

Of course, that was before she'd lost her sight. Things were different now, I reasoned. Things were serious. Victoria was running loose and the Cullens were essentially incapacitated in their search for her. Maybe if I confided in Carlisle then he'd help. He'd fix Alice.

I bite down hard on the lip I hadn't been aware I'd been chewing on. I tasted the iron flavour of blood on my tongue and felt even sicker than before. If this was all my fault…

"Bella," Carlisle chided softly, rubbing the blood from my lip with his thumb. "Alice will be alright. We'll find out what's wrong and she'll be fine. I promise."

The dancing honesty that swam in his eyes usually was nonexistent. His voice was slightly hard, as though he was trying to convince both himself and I that this outcome would be imminent.

"She won't, Carlisle." I whispered, hearing the disparity in my voice. "She's lost her sight. And it's all my fault."

I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I shifted my gaze downwards, to avoid having to meet his. Carlisle's hand stiffened slightly on my shoulder and I could sense his muscles tighten. He was bracing himself for something terrible. I'd seen this same set of his muscles in lieu of attack, similar to the night he'd defended me against Sebastian. He sensed that there was something underlying, something destructive, and was preparing for the worst.

"What do you know, Bella?" He said softly, his voice in sharp contrast to his stance. "Darling, what is it you know?"

I looked back up at him, the wind cooling the spots on my cheeks where the tears had fallen. Carlisle's eyes burned, not with anger but with something more fierce. It was a protective burn. He was readying himself to protect Alice and his family against these unknown dangers. The Cullen patriarch in him glowed fiercely through.

A sharp blare of a car horn sounded behind us and Carlisle turned: the taxi had arrived. He deliberated for a moment and then looked back at me.

"Stay here, Bella. I'll need a moment."

I watched him hurry to the driver and begin explaining something in rapid French. By the looks of it, the driver wasn't happy but Carlisle slipped him a roll of bills and thanked the man before reapproaching me. The taxi man rolled up his window and sped away from the hotel, turning at the light before disappearing down the street the opposite way he'd come.

"You sent him away?" I asked dumbfounded, more for something to say than in actual inquiry.

Carlisle grasped my hand, and rubbed a thumb along the back of it reassuringly. "No, he's coming back. Only he's bringing someone with him this time."

"Who?"

"That doesn't matter now, Bella," He said evasively, "What matters is you. You have something you need to tell me."

He didn't press me any further until I nodded in agreement.

"Would you like to go back upstairs?" He asked gently, "We'll order some room service for you and we can settle on the couch where you can tell me everything at your speed."

I tentatively returned his smile. "Alright," I conceded.

He pulled me back inside the hotel doors, kissing the back of my hand he was gripping as he did so, and led us into an awaiting elevator. I watched with some longing the elevator doors slide shut on the scene before us. I held back a somewhat selfish inward sigh.

I had been so looking forward to seeing the Eiffel Tower.

Once we were settled on the couch in our suite's living room, with my room service in tow, Carlisle went quiet, watching me. Waiting.

He allowed me the time I needed to gather my thoughts before I spoke. I chewed around a morsel of food and swallowed thickly. It was the guilt, it was working it's way up my throat slowly, making it hard to swallow. I wanted to vomit.

"Um, so." I cleared my throat. I put my fork down on the plate and looked down at my fingers. "Alice told me something. Before… before we came here."

Carlisle touched my hand, bringing my eyes back up to him. "I won't judge you, love. Alice is your best friend and you have loyalties to her. If she asked you to keep something from me, it shows no stain on your character to have obeyed."

I nodded, the thick feeling arising in my throat again. "It's not you though, Carlisle. It's everyone. She even tried to hide it from Edward."

He raised an eyebrow but did not comment.

"She had the first vision right before we left." I said shakily, "I don't know what it was about exactly, I only know what she told me and it wasn't all that much. But… from what it sounds like, the visions Edward described seem to be the same one she told me about."

"So she continued to have the vision even after we left?" Carlisle murmured, somewhat to himself. "Visions that repeat so often have a strong potency. Alice has told me a little of how her sight works."

"Really? What did she say?"

"Often that which repeats has a stronger likelihood to unfold." Carlisle explained, "You know her sight is subjective. It depends on the choices of those directly involved or of those indirectly involved… any slight change in intention can completely alter the vision. But those that stay permanent, unchanging, mean the decision has already been made. Even it's unconscious."

"So you're saying that I've already made this decision, whatever it is, unconsciously? And if this vision's been repeated… well, it means that the likelihood of it happening is almost one hundred percent."

He nodded slowly.

And odd feeling of dread settled in my stomach. I picked up what was left of my food and placed it on the coffee table, feeling too sick to finish. I brought my knees to chest and curled myself into a ball protectively.

Carlisle's eyes softened and he beckoned me over to his side of the couch. I obliged, craving his safeness and settled into his lap. He rubbed a cool finger along my arm and held me closely.

"Bella, you need to tell me what Alice saw." He prodded gently, "It's the only way we'll know for sure what happened to her sight."

I took a breath and closed my eyes. "It wasn't a clear vision," I said, my voice sounding stronger than I felt. "It was abstract from what I could tell, and that frustrated her. She kept saying that she had the premonition that she was going to lose me. That Edward would lose me."

Carlisle's grip tightened slightly around me and he pulled me closer into his chest.

"She didn't mean death. She just felt like something was going to change drastically for everyone. That this change would be what brought about losing me. She didn't know how or why."

Carlisle's voice was hard when he spoke.

"That was all she said?"

"That was it."

He was silent and contemplative for a moment. Then he raised a finger and tentatively turned my head to look at him.

"I want you to understand something, Bella." He said firmly, "Nothing is going to happen to you. Nothing. Not while I am here protecting you. I need you to understand that."

"I do," I said softly.

"Do you?" He challenged. "I need to know you believe me, Bella. That you put your faith in me. I promise you I will do everything I can to keep you safe. I swear it vehemently. Do you understand?"

There was a desperate ardor in his voice. I touched his cheek.

"I trust you, Carlisle."

He kissed the side of my head and pulled me closer into him. "Thank you for telling me, Bella." He said softly, "I know it was hard to betray her trust."

"I just want her to get better, Carlisle." I admitted in a small voice. "I need her to be okay."

"I know, Bella," He murmured against my hair. "Me too."

Carlisle eventually coaxed me into finishing my food, but I ate lounging in his lap. The security of his embrace kept me grounded as I tried to push off this nagging fear plaguing me. I vaguely watched what was happening on the television screen before me. Everything was in French and though Carlisle explained the jokes to me as he chuckled lightly from time to time, I couldn't keep my whole focus as my brain whirred about other things.

What exactly had Alice's vision meant? It still made little sense to me. I was going to be lost to the Cullens, to Alice and Edward especially. Death was not the cause. There was a change coming, something drastic. The clues were all there… but the big picture was still a frustrating blur. How was I to make sense of this?

And worst of all, if Carlisle was right and I assumed he was, I'd already made the subconscious decision that triggered these events, and I wasn't even aware of it. It was all set in stone, a train wreck on course to occur and there was no changing it. Because of me and my stupid subconscious decision making, Alice was blind to her sight. The guilt was creeping up again like bile.

There was a light knock on the door and I glanced towards Carlisle with a questioning look. I wasn't expecting anyone.

He smiled tightly and manoeuvred me off of him as he lifted himself off the couch and towards the door. I heard Carlisle pull it open and greet the visitor.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice, I'm afraid it is a bit of an emergency."

"It's no problem, Sir," The quiet voice answered. I pictured a boy of maybe eighteen or nineteen. "Anneliese was insistent in my assisting you. Said you were a dear friend."

"Anneliese is too kind," I could hear the appreciative smile in Carlisle's voice, "Do come in."

Carlisle's footsteps approached the living room again, followed by a light tread. The visitor followed him in as I sat up and waited.

"Bella, you know Nicholas," Carlisle gestured at our guest as they made their way in.

I nodded, remembering the silent Sauvage boy who'd attended the doors last time we'd visited. He stood behind Carlisle slightly, his dark hair in sharp contrast to his skin in the dim lighting.

"Hello Nicholas," I said in greeting. He didn't seem intent on talking too much and nodded in response. I wondered vaguely how he and Sebastian had been friends.

"Sit down, if you'd like," Carlisle offered, gesturing to the loveseat across from us.

Nicholas seemed to deliberate for a moment then sat down tentatively, placing himself on the very edge of the sofa seat. He watched Carlisle place himself beside me and take my hand unconsciously with curious eyes.

"Sorry about the vague message," Carlisle laughed, breaking the silence. "I very well couldn't tell the driver our real problem and hoped vehemently the Anneliese would understand the urgency through his words."

"It's no problem, Sir," He repeated. "But I must ask, why send for me?"

"I'm afraid you are the only one who may be able to help our situation. Or help understand it at least." Carlisle explained sadly.

Nicholas nodded stiffly, allowing him to properly explain.

"One of our coven in Washington is clairvoyant. She sees the future in the form of random, sporadic visions." Carlisle took a deliberate breath, steadying himself. "However, her sight is subjective; they depend on people's choices and as those change, the visions do as well."

Nicholas nodded again but his eyebrows were pulled together. "With all due respect, you may be mistaken, Sir. I have no experience with clairvoyants."

"I'm aware, Nicholas, not to worry," Carlisle assured him. "There's more to this. Alice, it seems, has had some troubles with a particular vision concerning Bella, here." He indicated towards me. I ducked my head just a little under Nicholas' gaze.

"It kept repeating itself, over and over. It was never a clear picture, just abstract pieces of information strung together. We have no idea how the vision will come about, or when, just that the events will play out some way or another."

Nicholas watched Carlisle intently, nodding again to affirm that he understood.

"This morning we received a call from my son, Edward." Carlisle's voice was tense again. "Alice is incapacitated. He said the vision kept repeating itself until she just went blind to her sight. It seems she's lost her power and we don't how or why or when it's coming back, if at all."

Carlisle held Nicholas' gaze steadily. The latter had gone still, the way humans did when experiencing shock.

I blinked once and he had dissipated from my gaze. Looking around the room confusedly, my eyes rested on Carlisle, who had stood up just as quickly without my noticing. He was gazing towards the back of the suite and through the open door of my bedroom, where I could see that the glass door of the balcony had hastily been pulled open.

Carlisle gestured for me to follow him. Together, we stepped out onto the cool balcony tiles and found Nicholas resting his elbows against the railing, his head hung dejectedly in his hands.

"Nicholas," Carlisle prodded, not unkindly, "I'm afraid you know why I've called on you now. I'm so sorry to have to ask, even Anneliese had never wanted to question you, but we really need to know all we can about this. Alice… she's our family's heart. We need to help her."

"You can do nothing," Nicholas said, his voice sounding hollow and small. "Her sight is gone. There is nothing you can do."

Carlisle's face crumpled slightly and he stepped deliberately towards Nicholas, gripping his arm. "Please, tell us what you know. If there is something or even nothing, as you say, I can do about this, then I need to know at least. Please."

Nicholas pried his eyes open and lifted his head slowly, almost painfully, gazing at Carlisle intently.

Carlisle's face was a gut-wrenching mixture of pain and worry, and I even sensed a fear brewing beneath his collected surface. He was trying so hard to keep it together, to play the role of coven leader, that I knew he needed any form of salvation. I sidled up behind him and slipped my hand into his palm. He gripped it appreciatively.

Nicholas heaved a sigh and nodded slightly. "Very well… I will tell you what I can. But I can guarantee I will not be of much help in this matter, as you very well know, my circumstance is no less grim than that of your Alice."

"Wait," I interrupted, a realization dawning on me. "You mean you…"

"Yes." Nicholas replied firmly. "I, like Alice, lost my powers many decades ago. And tried furiously though I might have, they have never returned. I have come to the discouraging conclusion that they never will."

I tried to cover my shock. "So Alice-"

"Alice had better learn to live without her powers, and fast. The longer she tries to hold onto them, the more destructive the situation will become."

"Destructive?" Carlisle repeated slowly.

"Yes." Nicholas looked away again, down at his hands. "Destructive of others, her family, her mate especially. And… destructive of herself. She could go insane. She could go numb. And if she is so dependant of this clairvoyance as I expect she is… she could very well destroy herself. What I mean to say is-"

"She could die." I said numbly, ice building its way around my ribcage, making it hard to breathe. "Alice could die."

Nicholas nodded once grimly. "Yes," He repeated, "Alice could die."

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