Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.
Rachel sighed as she regrettably zipped up her suitcase. Rachel and Barry had been invited by her sister to a cabin for the weekend. Rachel agreed to go, but soon hated the idea when she found out her parents and her other sister was also coming. Now she would have to deal with her entire family for the weekend.
Rachel didn't like her family's conflicting personalities and strange idea about how life should be lived. There was only so much time she could spend with them.
Rachel's family was very predictable. Her two sisters were spoiled and shallow, her mother lived to gossip and her father was easily angered. All of their qualities and Rachel's feeling about the lifestyle they lived were not a good combination.
The fact that Barry wasn't able to get the weekend off of work made this all worse. Not only did Rachel have to spend time with her family but she was alone too. Now she would have to answer her parent's inquiries about Barry, as well as herself.
Rachel rolled her suitcase into the living room. She rounded the corner and saw her housekeeper dusting off a side table.
"Goodbye, Ida," Rachel said, as she walked through the room. The plump woman with greying hair looked up and smiled.
"You have fun Mrs. Farber," Ida responded with a knowing smile. Rachel often had the feeling that this sweet lady knew how she felt. Ida didn't say much but her eyes and smiles told Rachel a thousand words.
Rachel exited the apartment and walked down the stairs to the main lobby. When she got outside she pulled her bag behind her and went to the underground parking lot. She put her suitcase in the trunk of her BMW before she climbed in and drove away.
Rachel had always thought that her car was so impractical. She was home most of the time and she could take a taxi to the few places she went to. She didn't need a car, let alone an expensive, flashy car. But Barry bought it for her anyways; she didn't even ask for it.
Rachel drove on highway after highway until, after about two hours, she turned onto a road that winded through the snow-covered forest. Rachel drove until she reached a clearing behind the cabin. She parked the car beside her parent's car and then got out. Her boots crunched in the snow as she grabbed her bag and walked up the path to the front door.
Rachel looked up at her sister's cabin. It was made of logs but it was quite modern with giant windows and a stone chimney. The lights on either side of the door cast a warm glow across the snow.
It was already evening and the sun was setting, making the forest dark. The last rays of sunlight cast shadows of the many tree branches. The wind swirled across the snowy clearing causing Rachel to quicken her pace to get into the warm.
Rachel walked up the steps and rang the doorbell. Soon the large, wooden door swung open to reveal Rachel's sister, Amy.
"Mom, Rachel's here!" Amy shouted into the hallway. Rachel rolled her eyes at her sister's manners; not even a greeting was uttered.
"Hello to you too, Amy," Rachel said sarcastically to her younger sister.
"Oh yeah, hi," Amy responded, distractedly. "Your bedroom is up the stairs and the second door to your left." Amy sauntered away into the next room.
Rachel took off her coat and boots at the entrance before entering the hallway. There was a grand wood staircase in front of her, but she decided she would go to her bedroom later. She followed the voices she heard coming from the other room.
As soon as she entered the large family room through a wooden archway she noticed her family. Her parents were on a couch in front of the fireplace. Amy and her husband had just entered from the kitchen and Jill and her boyfriend shared an armchair.
Rachel wondered if her father had helped Amy purchase this cabin. It looked like a page out of a magazine with all the different wood, high ceilings and outdoor themed décor. There were two story windows that had a wonderful view over the ski slopes and forest.
"Rachel, sweetie!" Sandra Green exclaimed as she walked over to her daughter with outstretched arms. "Where's Barry?" She asked after she pulled out of the hug.
"He had to work," Rachel replied, trying to hide how annoyed she was that the questions were already beginning.
"Sweet pea!" Leonard Green greeted as he walked over to Rachel.
"Hi Daddy!" Rachel said, before hugging her father.
…..
Soon dinner was served. Everyone sat around the table. Rachel found out that Jill's new boyfriend was named Adam. Amy had her husband, Liam, meaning Rachel was the only sister alone.
The dinner conversation had been going well so far, but Rachel knew that couldn't last long. Rachel was anxious to hear what information her parents would want to wring out of her. Sure enough Rachel's mother became her nosey self.
"So, Rachel darling you've been married to Barry for quite some time. Have you given a thought to when you will have kids?" Sandra asked. Rachel almost choked on her drink, not expecting that question. Rachel nervously looked down at her plate and began picking at her food as all heads turned to focus on her.
"Well, I, um, don't know if I ever want to be a mother," Rachel stuttered, fearfully. Sandra looked at her as if she had said something terrible or even offensive.
"Rachel, why wouldn't you want to have a family?" Sandra asked in a shocked tone. Again, all eyes focused on Rachel. Rachel looked down for a second time, but their eyes bored into her making her feel uncomfortable.
"Well, Barry works a lot and I wouldn't want to raise a child on my own," Rachel replied, hoping her mother would be satisfied. But nothing was ever that simple.
"Rachel, sweetie, don't be silly you won't be alone. Barry would hire a full time nanny to help you, just like your father hired a nanny to help me raise you three girls," Sandra explained. Rachel didn't know how to respond. Luckily Amy cut in.
"Liam and I are trying to have a baby," Amy said, gloatingly. She then held her husband's hand on the table. All eyes turned on her now, and Rachel was glad for once that her sister always wanted to be the centre of attention.
…..
Rachel was alone in one of the guest bedrooms. She lie awake in the unfamiliar bed just thinking about her crazy life. Her parents had continued with questions all night and Rachel had seemed to constantly give them the wrong answer which only made them worry about her.
Rachel's father and mother were often quite concerned by their daughter. Growing up, Rachel was the same as her sisters: spoiled, outgoing, shallow. But every day she became more and more different. The Greens didn't know how to deal with such abnormal behaviour; they never thought Rachel would become who she was. They worried about her and the image she could wreck.
Rachel just didn't fit into this lifestyle she was expected to live. Instead of supporting her decisions her parents were practically angry with her.
Rachel didn't want to live like this. She hated having a life where everything was so predictable. She knew what was going to happen every day for the rest of her life, and that was what she disliked most.
Tears began to run down Rachel's face and onto her pillowcase. Why couldn't she find the courage to live her life the way she wanted? She knew it couldn't healthy to feel this way. She didn't like feeling trapped in this mould her parents had tried to force her into. But no matter how hard they pushed, she just wasn't cut out for this life.
Rachel had finally reached her breaking point.
Rachel viciously whipped off her blankets and got up out of bed. She desperately needed someone to talk to, she felt so alone and so confused. She marched across the room in the dark trying her best to not run into anything.
The house was silent, her family was asleep. The only sound came from her bare feet on the cold hardwood floor and her rapid breaths that panted from her lungs.
The only question in her mind was who would she talk to? Her sisters wouldn't understand, she didn't even want to consider talking to them. Then the answer hit her, she needed to find a computer.
Rachel walked down the hallway trying not to make too much noise. Her footsteps echoed through the hall as she walked past door after door, only guided by the moonlight coming through the windows. Soon she found what she was looking for, an office.
Rachel opened the door casting a slit of light across the floor all the way to a desk on the opposite side of the room. She walked into the dark room, letting her eyes adjust before walking over to the desk.
Rachel carefully sat down in the high-backed, leather desk chair which sat in front of the computer. She turned it on and waited, wiping her tears as she sat there.
The room was illuminated by the monitor's light as the computer turned on, causing Rachel to squint. She was soon logged into her email and typing as quietly as she could. Her tears fell onto the keyboard as she entered her message.
She knew her friend would understand, and she just needed to get her emotions out.
I need you to be completely honest with me. Is my life strange? I've been talking to you for quite some time now about this life where I have to live up to everyone else's standards. I'm in a loveless marriage and I'm too much of a coward to get out of it. I just can't imagine why you talk to me, but I need you now more than ever.
I just can't do this anymore. Why am I doing this to myself? I can't live like this any longer. I don't fit in to this lifestyle my parents have given me. I think I have finally decided to leave Barry. I just don't know how.
Rachel tried to stifle her sobs that shook her body, making her hands tremble on the keyboard. She had to pause for a moment to collect herself. She breathed out a shaky breath and hit send. As she leaned back in the chair she glanced at the clock on the screen, it read 2:26am. Her heart sank when she realized her friend wouldn't be awake to answer her.
Rachel turned off the computer and headed back to her room. What would she do now? She desperately needed someone to talk to.
Rachel ambled back to her bedroom and threw herself on her bed. She crawled into a ball, hugging her knees to her chest. Rachel took in the bedroom around her. The deep green walls and soft bed did nothing to comfort her.
Rachel noticed a phone on her bedside table. She sighed with regret as she picked it up and dialled her friend Mindy's phone number. With all of the late calls she had received from Mindy over the years she knew she wouldn't mind.
Rachel waited impatiently as the phone rang and rang. Then Mindy picked up.
"Hello?" Mindy's sleepy voice answered.
"Min, it's Rachel. I really need to talk to you," Rachel whispered, worriedly.
"Rach, what's wrong?" Mindy said alarmed by her friend's tone of voice.
"I'm at Amy's cabin with my family. Just being here and having questions fired at me about Barry it reminds me how much I hate this way of living," Rachel whispered.
"Rachel what are you talking about?" Mindy asked, confused by Rachel's words.
"I'm talking about how I hate not working and not having anything to do at home alone. I'm talking about my loveless marriage," Rachel explained.
"I didn't know you felt that way…" Mindy said softly.
"Ever since my wedding day, I've hated being married to Barry. And I hated this way of living long before that. I just need someone to talk to about this," Rachel said, trying to keep her voice low.
"What does this mean?" Mindy asked, still in shock.
"It means I'm having second thoughts about being married to Barry," Rachel admitted. Suddenly it felt like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders. She had finally been truthful about her feelings.
"What?" is all Mindy could sputter after she took a moment to take in what Rachel was telling her.
"I want a marriage where I feel loved and where my husband pays attention to me. I just want a normal life where I can work to earn things and raise children without hired help. I want a life like Ross Geller's; I talked to him a little while ago. He works hard and raises his son on his own. I want a life like his, a life with purpose," Rachel explained building confidence with every word she spoke.
"Rachel I'm sure this is just a phase. I think everyone goes through a time in their life where they want something different. I'm sure you'll get over this," Mindy said, partially trying to calm her own self down.
"Min, I don't think I'll ever get over this feeling. I've felt this way for so long and I'm so fed up. I think I have to leave Barry, and leave this life," Rachel said. Mindy didn't answer for a while, she was so shocked.
Little did Rachel know, Mindy was not the only one that was hearing about these feelings. Jill had heard Rachel talking and moving around. So, being nosy, she got up to see what her sister was doing up so late. She had stopped at the door when she heard a few words of Rachel's conversation.
Jill stood there and eavesdropped the whole time Rachel talked to Mindy. She had just overheard everything Rachel had said about her decisions to leave Barry. Jill decided she had to tell someone, so she returned to her room and went to bed, waiting for morning.
…..
In the morning Jill walked downstairs and spotted her father. He was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper.
Jill strolled over to him and sat in the chair across from him. She figured this was the perfect opportunity to suck up to her father.
"Daddy, you'll never believe what I heard Rachel say," Jill said, mischievously.
"What, sweetie?" Leonard asked peering over the top of his paper.
"She said that she's leaving Barry," Jill tattled, enjoying the rush of getting her sister in trouble.
"What? Why?" Leonard asked angrily as he smacked the newspaper onto the table in front of him.
"I don't know. Something about Ross Geller," Jill answered, shrugging her shoulders. Leonard sat there fuming. Why would Rachel even think about such a thing?