AN: Thanks for the reviews. Please enjoy. :)
Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.
Barry pushed Amy away from him, which of whom he was sitting on her bed with.
Rachel remained in the doorway; her emotions paralyzed her as they surged through her body.
Rage, sadness, pain, shock.
Tears stung her eyes, her breathing became fast and shallow as she beheld the sight in front of her. It felt like time stood still for the few seconds she witnessed their embrace.
Even if she didn't love Barry, to see him with her sister of all people made her feel betrayed. She couldn't get the image to stop replaying in her mind. Barry's hands gripping Amy's back, pulling her close to him, her hands on his face, as they engaged in a frantic kiss.
Barry stared at Rachel's face. He seemed to appear regretful as he sat next to Amy, his body tense and a panic stricken stare filling in his eyes. Or was he just shocked to have been found? He looked traumatized to see Rachel, whom he had assumed was still asleep in their bedroom down the hall.
All of Rachel's emotions turned into pure anger. She narrowed her eyes at the two people in front of her, giving them an icy glare.
"What do you think you're doing?" Rachel asked bitterly. She crossed her arms. She expected things like this from Amy but not Barry.
"We, uh…" was all Barry could stutter.
"You are both married," Rachel pointed out. Barry looked pale and sweaty as he desperately tried to think of something to say. Meanwhile Amy didn't appear to be bothered by this situation at all.
"So? We always make out after you go to sleep," Amy said, casually. Rachel's jaw fell open in disbelief as she inhaled rapidly. Barry eyes widened as he turned to glower at Amy.
With that, Rachel spun on her heal and hurriedly returned to her room. Barry quickly stood up from the bed and chased after her.
When Rachel got back to their bedroom she ignored Barry's presence and grabbed her winter jacket.
"Rachel, stop," Barry continuously spoke as he followed her every move. Rachel didn't respond, ignoring his desperate attempts to get her attention.
Barry had only cheated because he was unhappy in their marriage too. Sometimes he did love Rachel but most of the time he felt like they were drifting apart.
He was a doctor making money for her. Why didn't she appreciate that?
Barry admitted he had reached his breaking point when he saw his wife hugging another man. He couldn't control himself; he needed to let his feelings out somehow. Maybe it wasn't the right choice to do that by cheating, but he knew he couldn't let Rachel leave now.
There was too much on the line, and that was what it always boiled down to. Even if he wasn't happy his parents were proud of his life and so were Rachel's. He didn't want to ruin that.
Rachel rushed down the stairs with Barry right on her heals. She put on her boots and violently threw open the front door. She aggressively swung the door shut behind her, which Barry stopped with his hands before it hit him.
She trudged through the snow towards her car and opened the door. But Barry raced ahead of her and stood in her way.
"Move Barry," Rachel said through her gritted teeth.
"No, I-I can't let you go," Barry replied. Rachel decided to hear him out. She closed her car door forcefully. Then she turned to him and glared while crossing her arms.
"Why?" Rachel asked venomously.
"Please, we can work this out," Barry said quickly as he held his hands out trying to calm her. Rachel shook her head.
"Work this out? Barry, what is there to work out?" Rachel asked.
"Listen, I'm sorry Rachel. I don't know what came over me," Barry pleaded. Rachel gave him a look telling him she didn't believe him.
"Why did you do it?" Rachel said a little softer.
"I guess I just felt like I needed comfort from them. I thought you were cheating on me," Barry admitted. He left out the part about feeling like their marriage was falling apart; not wanting to add fuel to the fire and give her a reason to argue that she had to leave.
"Whoa, hold on a second. Them?" Rachel asked. Barry realized his slip up.
"Um, I also cheated with, uh, Mindy," Barry confessed, as he cringed. Rachel didn't know what to say. Her husband cheated on her with her best friend as well as her sister. Rachel couldn't wrap her head around the idea. All this time she had thought Mindy was someone to rely on, when in fact she was just as bad as Barry.
"What made you think I was cheating?" Rachel asked, furiously.
"When I saw you at that party with that guy, I just thought-" Barry began, but Rachel interrupted him.
"You thought I was cheating with him? You cheated on me because you thought something happened with Ross?" Rachel practically shouted. "I innocently go to a party and you think I'm cheating?"
"Well I have no way to know what's going on at those parties when you go alone," Barry tried to defend himself. Rachel just stared at him in confusion.
"You expect me to accept that as the reason you cheated on me with not one but two people? Why didn't you believe me when I said nothing happened with him?" Rachel asked.
"Rachel I'm sorry-" Barry pleaded, before Rachel interjected again.
"No Barry! I've had it! You never let me out of the house, and yet you expect me to keep up this image that is not truly me. I can't take this anymore!" Rachel yelled at him, angry tears coming to her eyes.
Rachel turned and wiped the tears off of her cheeks. Barry just looked down at the snow covered ground. He didn't know how to respond to Rachel. He began to shiver in the cold winter air.
He did feel bad that his lifestyle came at a cost of her happiness. But it wasn't worth it to end things and make their parents upset.
After a few moments of silence, Rachel took a deep breath and turned back around.
"Are you happy in this marriage?" Rachel asked. Her voice was now calm and hoarse from her tears. Barry knew he wasn't happy but he couldn't admit it. He had to make her stay with him. It may have been selfish to be thinking this way, but he couldn't let her go and face their parents alone.
"I-I don't know…" Barry responded.
"Everything just isn't going the way I thought it would. I mean, I grew up hearing all these stories about how great it is to live this way. I thought it would be great to not have to work a day of my life and still have everything I could ever want. But it turns out I don't have everything I could ever want, something's missing," Rachel explained as Barry listened intently.
"What do you mean?" Barry inquired. He had never heard her express these feelings before.
"I mean, I don't love you Barry. I don't feel loved, I don't feel like I even have a husband sometimes," Rachel admitted. Barry was taken aback; he had not expected her to admit that. He felt the same way, but he knew he had to hold on desperately to this marriage.
"But I do love you," Barry responded. He was beginning to feel guilty but he needed her to stay.
"Really Barry? You love me? You're looking for comfort in other women and you're in this marriage for all the wrong reasons," Rachel said. "That's not love. You can try to convince me, and yourself, that you love me but really you just have an image to keep up."
"I don't know Rachel," Barry said. It was hard to not give in, he knew she was right.
"Tell me this: when you imagine our future what do you see? Because I sure as hell have no idea where we go from here," Rachel confessed.
"I guess you're right. But what can we do?" Barry asked with a shrug.
"I want a divorce," Rachel stated. Barry raised his eyebrows as he looked at her like she was crazy.
"That's not going to happen," Barry declared with assurance.
"Why not? We are both unhappy," Rachel argued, as she threw her hands in front of her.
"Think of what that would do to your parents, my parents, me. It would be humiliating," Barry explained as if it were obvious. It was hard to control his anger as it boiled through his veins.
"I don't care Barry. You don't control me," Rachel argued raising her voice once more.
"Hey, I'm just looking out for you. You know what society we're part of, divorce is not acceptable," Barry lectured hoping she would remember that and stay. But, Rachel rolled her eyes.
"Barry, I'm done with this lifestyle. I'm tired of living up to everyone else's standards. I've never liked this," Rachel explained. Barry just stared at her in disbelief.
"Don't do this Rach," Barry begged.
"I have to," Rachel stated timidly.
"No, I'm telling you not to," Barry demanded, furiously.
"You can't tell me what to do anymore. I can make my own decisions," Rachel said calmly.
"Don't go," Barry pleaded. He knew he was over the line with the cheating, but to have her leave wouldn't do him any good.
"I'll send you the divorce papers, Barry," Rachel stated. Then she pushed past him like a turnstile as he stood there stunned. Rachel opened her car door and climbed inside.
She turned the keys in the ignition, when suddenly there was a tap on her window. Rachel pressed the button to roll the window down. Barry crouched down to talk to her.
"Where are you going?" He asked.
"I don't know yet. All I know is that anywhere is better than here," Rachel answered with a small smile. With that she rolled the window up. Barry stepped away from the car.
Rachel drove away leaving Barry standing alone in the snowy clearing.
…..
Rachel drove back to New York City unsure of what to do. She felt slightly panicked not knowing where to go.
Rachel decided to go back to her apartment, but not for long. If Barry did follow her she didn't want to talk to him at this point in time.
She arrived at the apartment and went up the many flights of stairs, still living with the slight phobia of elevators. When she unlocked the door and walked inside the atmosphere felt much colder and uninviting than usual. It was dead silent; the only sound came from Rachel's footsteps against the floor.
Rachel threw her keys onto the coffee table. Suddenly the sound of the phone ringing broke the silence. Rachel jumped in shock, putting her hand over her pounding heart.
When her breathing had calmed down she picked up the phone.
"Hello?" Rachel answered.
"Rachel Karen Farber, what the hell do you think you are doing young lady?" Rachel knew right away the furious voice of her father.
"I went home," Rachel replied, nervously.
"Don't you get smart with me. What makes you think you can divorce Barry?" Leonard asked. "Your mother and I worked hard to set up this life for you and this is how you repay us, by disgracing our family?"
"Daddy, I'm sorry but I can't stay married to him. I don't love him," Rachel responded, on the verge of tears.
"Don't you care what everyone thinks?" Leonard asked, still angry.
"No I don't. I can't live this way and I don't know why you want me to," Rachel explained. She listened as he father let out a breath of air.
"Rachel, either you stay with him or you will have to find your own money for a divorce," Leonard explained.
"I guess I'm getting a job then," Rachel answered.
"Where are you going to live?" Leonard enquired.
"I don't know but anywhere is better than here. Tell Barry not to try and find me. I'll talk to him later," Rachel stated. She walked over to get ready to hang up the phone.
"I hope you realize that I'm not going to give you money anymore," Leonard threatened, trying to win her over.
"I don't want your money," Rachel stated. "Goodbye."
Rachel hung up with confidence, but it slowly faded as she stood there staring at the phone. She began to panic again, not knowing what to do next.
Rachel walked through her apartment trying to figure out a plan. She ran her hand along a table but stopped when she touched a decorative bowl. She peered inside it and noticed a few bills and coins of money. She shoved the money into her pockets.
She continued to walk into her bedroom. She considered lying down and sleeping knowing she could decide what to do in the morning. But Rachel scrapped that idea when she remembered that Barry may follow her home, leading to another argument.
She contemplated where to go. A friend's house wasn't a good idea since her only friends were part of the life she was trying to escape. Maybe she could stay at a hotel for the night.
Rachel went into the drawer of her bedside table, figuring she could find more money pay for a hotel room. She searched through the depths of her drawer but came up empty handed.
Rachel sat on her bed completely defeated and frustrated. She put her head in her hands and let out all of the emotions she held inside. She sat on the edge of her bed and sobbed.
After what felt like hours Rachel finally took her head out of her hands and wiped her eyes. Crying wasn't going to solve anything. She looked at the clock on her bedside table; it was 10:48pm. She sighed and looked around her dark bedroom, she hadn't even bothered turning the lights on.
Then something in her drawer caught her eye. Rachel reached inside and pulled out a small, square piece of paper. She read what was written on the card.
Dr. Ross Geller PhD
Professor of Paleontology, New York University
Home: 555-7923
Office: 555-9157
Rachel pondered giving him a call, she didn't know what else to do. Noticing she'd left her cell phone at the cabin she walked back into the living room to use the phone.
Rachel dialled the number and then anxiously waited as the phone rang. She played with the card in her fingers as she waited. She hoped it wasn't too late to call, but after a few rings he picked up.
"Hello?" Ross' voice answered.
"Hi, Ross it's Rachel Farber," Rachel said trying her best to sound normal.
"Oh, hi Rachel. Is, um, something wrong? You sound upset," Ross noticed.
"As a matter of fact there is something wrong. I've decided to divorce my husband," Rachel said slowly.
"Wow, that's too bad. I know how you feel right now," Ross said.
"The reason I called you is that I really don't have anyone to talk to. I know we don't know each other very well but I was hoping you could help me. I'm just feeling really alone and I don't know who else to turn to, I don't have anyone to stay with either," Rachel explained as tears came to her eyes once again.
"Rachel, it's okay don't cry. Why don't you come over and we'll sort this out," Ross said, sympathetically.
"Thanks Ross," Rachel replied. Ross told Rachel his address before they said their goodbyes and hung up.
Rachel got up from the couch and walked out the door. She hoped this would be her last time out the doors of that building. It was raining when Rachel got to the street. She decided to take a taxi and leave her car, since it was really Barry's.
With her step into the cab, the new chapter in her life could begin.
…..
Rachel was dropped off on an unfamiliar street corner. The spray from the cars and the drops of rain soaked her to the skin. She quickly ran up the steps of Ross' building. She followed his directions and walked up to apartment 3B.
Her hair dripped with water and her clothes were soaked. She walked down the halls shivering from the cold.
When Rachel reached the right apartment she knocked on the door. It didn't take long for Ross to open it.
"You're soaked! Come in, please," Ross said as he ushered Rachel inside.
Rachel glanced into his apartment and noticed she was not the only guest Ross had over. Sitting on Ross' brown leather sofa was a woman with blond hair and a smile on her face.