2013
A/N: First off, I would like to say I'm super super sorry for not updating sooner! I have this weird thing where I like to sit down and write something all at once, and I just haven't had the time (or energy) to do that. But tonight, I am determined to do it. Also, I am definitely starting the next chapter tomorrow, and so you will (hopefully!) have two chapters up by the end of the weekend. Also, if you have any friends who like Secret Life fanfics, please (I implore you, actually) to ask them to read and review my story: it really means a lot to me. Also, thank you to TeamRamy15 and Madison for reviewing for every chapter, it means a whole lot to me. Also, thank you to everyone who has author alerted me or story altered me, but please take a minute to review. Even if you just say "good!" or something, it will make my day (no joke). Thanks! Now, on to the story.
IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT THIS CHAPTER: It contains a small amount (a very small amount) of cursing. If you don't like cursing, pretend I (or Ricky I guess) didn't say it.
"And now we are back to yet another story told by Amy and me," Ricky began. "Besides the fact that this was the biggest fight Amy and I have ever had—I would say including all the time before John was born-be— and we were this," Ricky made a small gesture with his hands, "close to splitting up—this was also the first moment that we realized that John was way, WAY smarter than the two of us will ever become," Ricky smiled. This was statement was even true during John's high school years: not only had John not gotten a girl pregnant, or gotten into alcohol or drugs, he was the Valedictorian of his class.
"Hey Buddy, how was school?" Ricky asked distractedly on the walk back to their New York apartment from John's preschool.
"Wasn't Mommy gonna pick me up today? I thought you had school," John asked curiously.
"Oh—Amy? Yea, she was…busy," Ricky responded vaguely. "Which reminds me, you are going to spend some time with at Kennish's house today for a little. Daddy has some…stuff he has to do."
John groaned, "But Daddy, I don't want to play House with Mina and Adam. We play every single day. I don't like house. And they make me eat chicken, I don't like chicken," John started.
"Look John, I know that you don't like chicken, and that you don't like playing house with Mina—as you've told me a million fucking times—but you have to go, OK?" Ricky instantly regretted what he just said. Why did I just say that to him? Amy is going to have a fit—but hey, it's not like she's not having a fit already. I mean, we aren't even living in the same place anymore; not since she moved out. Damn it, that reminds me: I have to figure out how to tell John that Amy isn't coming back. God, why couldn't we have just worked this out?
As the two entered their apartment building, Ricky could see that John was desperately trying to hold back tears. "Hey buddy, don't cry. Daddy didn't mean those things. Daddy's just under a lot of stress right now, and I know you don't want to go, but Daddy has to go talk to Mommy," John noted that this was the first time his dad had used the name Mommy when referring to Amy in about a week, "and she is just not his favorite person right now. And school is stressful, and life is just difficult…and I know that I am making you do a lot, but going to play with Mina and Adam is really helpful for Daddy. So will you do that please? For Daddy?" Ricky was practically begging, and with a cuddly hug and a friendly wave to the building's front desk manager—Ms. Hilladay—John felt a bit better.
Being only four, John really only understood a few things in this big mess: that both Mommy and Daddy were mad about a baby (John usually thought they were referring to one of Mina's baby dolls, but that was not the case), that Mommy was no longer able to tuck him in at night, and that Daddy couldn't sleep very well at night; but, this didn't mean that he did not understand that things were not the way they were supposed to be.
Later that evening, after Ricky had thanked Mr. and Mrs. Kennish profusely for letting John stay over at their apartment next door, he headed out to where Amy was staying. Amy had been living with a friend, Sara, whom she had met during freshman orientation, who, as chance would have it, also was a teenage mother. Naturally, the two bonded almost instantly, and when Amy found out that she was pregnant again, the two became closer than ever. She was the one that talked Amy into it anyway. So I guess that this is a win-win situation: if Amy is there, I will talk to her; if she's not, I will talk to Sara.
Although Ricky did not want to talk to Amy just as much as she did not want to talk to him, he knew it was inevitable. It's for John: he needs his mom. I'm doing this for John. And so, when he saw her walking towards the apartment, he called out to her.
"Amy!" He thought he heard a 'Oh, dear God' but he couldn't be sure.
What do you want?" That same tone of voice. The same one she had THAT night.
(Flashback)
"Amy, I don't understand: you got rid of it? Just like that? Without even asking me what I thought?" Ricky asked, just on the brink of being furious.
" I didn't think you would think it was that big of a deal. I mean, it's my body," Amy started.
"BUT IT'S OUR BABY! Well, it was," Ricky said coldly.
"Well, that doesn't mean that you get to decide. I get to do what I want to do! And you know what! IF I CAN'T EVEN MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS, WHY SHOULD I EVEN BE WITH YOU? I COULD BE FREE! AND NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANY OF THIS! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO!" And with that, Amy went to the bedroom, packed in what Ricky thought was record speed—Ricky later found out, Amy had been packed for days—and left. She's…gone.
"John, are you ok bud?" Ricky asked, noticing that his son looked the slightest bit distraught.
"It's just…I remember it all so clearly. That's one of my first memories: I remember waking up that night and the two of you were arguing. And I just heard the whole thing. I mean, I remember how this story ends, but sometimes I just wish that I had told you guys I was there that first night, before you left Mom," John answered, looking towards his mother. Amy nodded, tears in her eyes.
"I thought I might have heard you, and so I went to check on you, but you were—or at least I thought you were—asleep." Amy said sincerely, "I'm sorry."
"It's ok, the two of you never had a fight that big ever again, and I'm thankful for that," John returned.
"I need to talk to you. And no, not later, not never, NOW," Ricky said, somewhat forcefully.
"What is there to talk about? You and me, it's over. That's it," Amy said, with a strong hint of annoyance in her voice.
"I know that—I hope it's wrong, but I still know it. I'm actually here to talk to you about John. You know, our SON," Ricky strongly enforced the last word. I would never have thought that I would be the one saying that someday. "He needs his mother: he's been asking for you all week long. Asking about when you can tuck him in, or whether you can pick him up, or when he can have something other than awful chicken and pasta with no sauce for dinner, and he just needs you. He needs you. And maybe this isn't the best time to say this, but I need you too Amy. I miss you. I don't regret what I said, but I miss you. And I love you. And John loves you. Just remember that. And when you feel like coming back to your reality, just let us know," and with that, Ricky turned to leave.
I can't believe he said all that! I'm John's MOTHER! I know what's best for him! Well maybe…maybe I should go see John. I mean, I am his mother. And I love him. And I should tell him the truth about the baby; I should have told him right from the beginning. I guess I was just scared. And upset. And we were both so overworked. And John is—or was—in such a clingy faze. And life is just…complicated. "Ricky, wait!" Ricky turned slowly, and Amy rushed over to him. "I'm sorry for how stupid I've been. I love…John and I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."
"Good," he said quickly, starting to continue to walk away. Well I…
"I didn't get an abortion." He turned.
"What?" an exasperated tone.
"I miscarried. I…I lost the baby. I wasn't going to have an abortion without talking to you about it, but I was just scared and—we can't have another baby right now Ricky! It just…the timing doesn't work out! So when it happened… and we were both working so hard, and John is at such a…tender age and I just…I don't want to break up but it was all such awful timing and I love you and I miss you and…I'm sorry and," Amy began to cry.
At first, Ricky was speechless. He wanted to yell at her for lying to him and yell at her for not talking to her about it, and he wanted to just be angry in general. But, as Ricky saw a tear fall down Amy's face, he decided that that wasn't the best way to handle the situation. "Hey…HEY, it's ok. I've got you, you're ok. This was just a rough spot: hey, we'll get past it. Oh, Ames, I love you too. And I'm sorry." Words of nothing continued to be spoken into Amy's hair as the pair just stood there, hugging.
"Oh, that's so sweet!" Emily said in her ten year old way. Amy and Ricky smiled at one another.
"Yea Em, it was sweet. Our parents are sweet, sweet people, get used to it," John said sarcastically, but with a smile on his lips. A small snort was also heard from a young woman sitting at the family and close friends table; this made John's smile only grow.
"David, can you go get the door?" Emily Kennish asked her husband from the kitchen.
"Sure hun. Hel…oh Em, it's Amy and Ricky. Come in you two. John's asleep on an air mattress and some blankets in the kids' room. So I would assume with the handholding and smiles that you two finally worked things out?" David Kennish asked the two as the three walked towards the kitchen table. Emily gave both a quick hug before the two couples sat down at the Kennish's kitchen table.
"So has everything worked out? I mean, are you moving back in to 6B? We miss our neighbors," Emily said sincerely.
"Yea, I'm moving back in. I guess all the stress of school plus—well, I'm sure Ricky told you about the situation— we just didn't know how to handle it all. So I guess we both just popped," Amy said. Right as Amy finished speaking; John came through the hallway leading to the bedrooms.
"Mam and Pop* can I have—Daddy! Mommy!" John squealed in delight and ran into his mother's arms. "I misseded** you so super much! Daddy was so sad without you and we didn't have sphagheti," a questioning tone of voice, "with sauce and I was sad and Daddy misseded you and I misseded you and—I love you!" John poured affectionate words on his mother and although all four adults have been known to correct him on his grammar, none had the heart to do it.
"Oh, I missed you too baby. So much. I won't leave again I promise. I love you, so, so so much." Amy responded as Ricky made similar comments.
"I don't want you and Daddy to fight ever again. I love you too much," John said in ways that only a four-year-old would be able to properly convey. Amy and Ricky were both taken aback, but they nodded and continued to loving words. Eventually, after some stealthy blanket and toy pick ups, the small family headed out the door.
"I can't thank you enough for doing this these past couple of days. I mean, with me being out and even if I wasn't, he just loves your family," Ricky started, but was stopped by David.
"We know Ricky. Look, one day, maybe you'll return the favor, though I do hope not for the same reasons."
"Another reason this story is important," Ricky said, "is that this is the first time that we were probably inducted into the Kennish family. And, not to get off track, but it's been wonderful getting to know them. After all, Emily Kennish is Emily Underwood's namesake and Godmother. Also, Mina has always been more than happy to babysit, and Ella is Emily's best friend…and I think there is one other important connection to the Kennish family, but I can't remember what," Ricky smiled as John began to turn a beet-like red. "Ames, do YOU remember why Mina Kennish is always at our house?" But Amy just laughed in response as John began to turn an even darker shade of red. "Well, I guess that will just have to be another story."
A/N: First thing: Please feel more than free to guess (if it is not apparent already) at why the Mila Kennish is always at their house, via a review! Also, you can review any other parts of the story as well. Also, Sara and the Kennish family well each come in at least one chapter (which is two chapters away and may involve some bells [any takers for guessers on THAT one? :D]), but most likely two or three. So review! And also, sorry that this chapter is a little shorter than the last one, the next one will be longer (and will be updated sooner!) I promise (well, I'm hoping…)
*Because John is only four and these are really close family friends, I just decided that John and Mina would call each other's parents Mam and Pop
**Misseded is the same as missed, it's just a more four-year-old way of saying it