A/N: I know I know I know. I've been a terrible author. But i do have a good excuse. I had a headache for about 5 weeks straight without relief and the doctors had no clue what it was, I was at the ER and everything because of the contstant pain (Shout out to Say Wha () for guessing that i wasn't feeling alright, it made my day). Anyway long story short I'm fine it's just the muscles at the front of my neck, who would've thought they could give you headaches? So without further ado, The NEXT CHAPTER:
Chapter 20: Memories
Brenna woke up to the sound of a terrible, blood-curdling scream. The kind that can only be formed from pure, unadulterated terror that even Muggle horror movies can't master. Seconds later, the screaming stopped as Brenna realised that it was coming from herself. She lay on her bed, her hair matted to her forehead and sweaty, taking ragged breaths and biting her fist to hold the sobs in. After a few moments her breathing evened and she wiped the sweat from her forehead and pushed back her hair, tying it in a messy bun at the back of her head to keep it off her neck. Brenna swallowed thickly and sat up in bed trying to forget the cloaked figures and flashes of light that plagued her sleep. Her muscles and back ached from the night before when she had "fought" with Cyrus as she pushed back her covers; the shock of cold air was welcome to her too warm body.
Reaching under her pillow, Brenna stuck her hand in the slit in the mattress that she had made before the school year began and felt the handles of two blades, a pocket knife and a silver handled dagger – her favourite. Extracting the simple pocket knife, she flicked it open in a routine check of the blade before closing it and concealing it in the waistband of her plaid, flannel pants. Now you're probably thinking: what the bloody hell does she need a knife for? And why the hell does she have two hidden in her mattress? And of course there is an answer for this if you recall chapter 16 when The Rules were first mentioned. Rule number 11, you see, is never go anywhere without a knife and this is the short answer to the first question, the long one is, well, long. The answer to the second question goes something like this. Since Brenna is obliged to carry a knife at all times, and wear a uniform without anyone knowing that she has a knife (because really, knives are probably not acceptable at Hogwarts despite the fact that it's not explicitly stated), a simple pocket knife is ideal – easy to conceal and very effective, it's a perfectly good everyday knife. The dagger on the other hand was a gift from Brenna's parents when she first began her training as a Knight; as a result it's her favourite and is kept under her pillow for tradition's sake.
Brenna showered, dressed in her school robes and quietly crept from the dorm without any of her mates waking. Lily's alarm would be going off in 13 minutes and then she'd be darting around the room getting ready but Brenna felt no desire for conversation with any of the Gryffindors. They were too…ideal and "perfect" and sometimes that was just annoying. She wanted to talk with her boys, with the rest of Atomos; they were sufficiently dark, twisty and melancholy while being properly optimistic, fun and light. They were their own brand of comfortable grey. Neither fully angelic white nor evil depressing black that was what Brenna needed, people to understand her pain while giving her reasons to move past it – hope, now that was the proper word – Atomos gave her hope and a shoulder to lean on.
Unfortunately, Atomos wasn't at Hogwarts. Cyrus was but he was just coming off of a patrol that was probably not strictly necessary and would be tired, so she wouldn't burden him with this. She could just sit alone for a bit but really she needed a distraction, a kind of dark, kind of not distraction that she wouldn't have the irrepressible urge to strangle. Definitely not Gryffindor the golden children or Hufflepuff the goody-goodies or even Ravenclaw the know-it-alls and that left Slytherin…but wasn't one of the requirements zero induction of homicidal rage? She could always see if Regulus Black was up, he's not exactly offensive despite the Marauders' opinions. Actually Brenna found him quite agreeable and interesting and so Brenna set off down the corridors in the vague direction of the dungeons. The corridors filled with more light by the minute and Brenna reflected insignificantly on the fact that Halloween in a couple days as she passed some of many decorations adorning the halls.
As she neared the lower floors Brenna became increasingly aware that the odds of Regulus even being awake, let alone outside the Slytherin common room and dorms, were very slim. She really was losing her touch or going soft or something if it took her that long to realise something that should have been obvious. With a sigh Brenna rounded yet another corner, Hogwarts really wasn't as good as made out to be, not for a Knight moving quickly up the ranks anyway. It was as she was lamenting the fact that she was stuck at Hogwarts for an indefinite amount of time and losing her cherished skill of deduction and observation that she crossed the path of none other than her quarry, Regulus Black himself.
"Brenna…good morning," Regulus said a hint of surprise evident in his low tone. Brenna appreciated that he addressed her using her first name as opposed to the impersonal 'Templar' that he used when they first spoke and that he had greeted her without any trace of disdain, in fact it was almost cheerful, or as cheerful as Regulus Black ever was.
"Good morning, Regulus." Brenna gave him a soft smile as the two came to a stop in front of each other in the deserted corridor. "Where are you headed?"
"Library, you?" Regulus generally spoke like this, short concise answers that offered no more information than was requested and while this was seen as rude and cold by some, Brenna was not perturbed by it in the slightest.
"Well I was looking for you actually, do you mind if I join you?" Brenna's directness could be perceived as too forward or pushy, but Brenna knew that Regulus wouldn't offer for her to join him whether because he didn't want to be around her or because she was a Gryffindor and therefore under the 'protection' of the Marauders, Brenna wasn't exactly sure but she knew she would have to make the first move, he could always tell her to fuck off.
"Not at all," Regulus replied and Brenna smiled more at the smooth elegance with which he spoke as she fell into step beside him and the two headed toward the Library.
They looked good together, as anyone would have noted, despite the different coloured ties. Both were good looking on their own, Regulus undeniably so, but together they seemed balanced. Regulus wasn't too much taller that she looked like a midget next to him but there was enough of a height difference that they wouldn't look awkward, say dancing for example. Both had black hair, their complexions weren't shocking in contrast, Brenna had a bit of an olive undertone that suggested a heritage that was not domestic unlike Regulus', and both carried themselves with a strong sense of dignity and confidence. As they walked, their robes occasionally brushed together adding to the comfortable aura surrounding them.
"So you were looking for me?" Regulus asked glancing at her.
"Yeah, I was up early and figured I'd see if you were too."
"So no Lions up to keep you company?" Brenna turned to shove his arm lightly, a ghost of a smile played on his lips as he met her eyes.
"Regulus Black, I resent that accusation. I'll have you know that you're not just some second-rate replacement for Gryffindors." He chuckled a bit, the first time Brenna had heard him laugh actually, and rolled his eyes. "Seriously though, why would you think that?" Regulus seemed to contemplate her question for a moment, that or he wasn't planning on answering at all, either way both parties remained silent.
"You seem close with my brother." Regulus stated, not continuing until he met Brenna's eyes, "Most people don't…get along with the both of us. Gryffindors especially tend to be Sirius' territory, if you know what I mean." Brenna nodded.
"So you figure, I'm a Gryffindor, Sirius is a Gryffindor, I talk to Sirius, so naturally I choose Sirius, yes?" She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Don't be a martyr, Brenna; you know it's the truth. In fact, I'll still bet that the other Gryffindors weren't up at the very least my brother wasn't."
"They weren't up, no, but even if they were I still would've come to find you. How did you know that you're brother wasn't up?" Brenna asked as they neared the library. Sirius was, after all, an early riser and Brenna was naturally interested in his reasoning.
"Easy, he never would've let you out of the Common Room alone and certainly not to see me. He's interested in you, Brenna, he watches you."
"And she should be thankful for that." The voice of none other than Sirius Black came from behind causing them both to turn on the spot, Regulus' hand flying to the pocket of his robes where no doubt his wand was stored. Brenna couldn't help feeling like a little child caught with her hand in the cookie jar before dinner, which was completely irrational as she was doing nothing wrong.
"Told you," Regulus muttered under his breath to Brenna whose mouth turned up at the corners which was probably not a good thing for Sirius' temper. "Hello brother, to what do we owe the pleasure?" This he said louder to the Gryffindor across from them, his voice significantly colder than when he spoke to Brenna.
"Fuck off, Regulus, and stay away from her." Sirius growled – yeah I know growled, right? Stupid testosterone. And suddenly, quite unsurprisingly really, Brenna had a problem with the way the conversation was progressing; mainly that she wasn't involved in it at all.
"Her has a name, it's Brenna. Her is also standing right fucking here, you chauvinistic, pretentious prat." Brenna spat glaring at Sirius. "Regulus, I will see you in class." With an understanding nod from Regulus, Brenna stalked away, pushing past Sirius as she went.
"Nicely done, brother, although, I'm not sure that she completely hates you yet. Don't worry; I'm sure you'll find another way to fuck it up."
"Fuck you, Regulus; you don't know anything about her."
"On the contrary, brother, I know that she doesn't need you at all. In fact, she doesn't want you." Regulus' voice was taunting as he smirked before turning and walking the rest of the way to the Library.
Scowling, Sirius realised that he was supposed to be apologizing to Brenna not antagonizing her. Turning on his heel and shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his robes and retrieved the map, looking for Brenna's dot. James was going to kill him when he found out that he completely screwed over the "apology". I'm really not made for the whole boyfriend thing. Sirius sighed finding that Brenna had gone back up to the Common Room and began making his way back to the Tower.
"Hey Brenna, have you seen Sirius yet?" James asked as she stepped into the Common Room. He and the other Marauders, minus Sirius of course, were gathered on the couches and armchairs nearest the long extinguished fire.
"Yes," She answered shortly, still angered at the way Sirius acted. As if he controls her, idiot! If he only knew what she could do... James was visibly taken aback by the tone of her voice, he had expected Sirius to apologize and everything to go back to normal, and obviously Sirius had messed up…again. He really did not have a good track record when it came to Brenna, he already had to apologize to her once before and then last night and now this morning.
"Oh…uh, would you like to join us for breakfast?"
"You will have to ask Sirius, or did you not know that he decides who I can and can not speak to or befriend and basically everything I do?" All three boys' eyes widened in shock and, in James' case, horror, this was not supposed to happen at all. The implications of her words distracted them from realising something that would later prove crucial in their understanding of Brenna Templar – the way she spoke. She didn't use contractions and her accent slipped slightly, it wasn't quite British but it wasn't anything identifiable to them either which is probably why it wasn't a consciously noted.
"What? What did he do?" It was Remus who questioned this time, James still mentally berating Sirius' idiocy. Internally, Brenna smiled vindictively. She would let the boys harass Sirius for this on her behalf; she didn't need to deal with the drama.
Shaking her head dismissively, Brenna told them she'd see them later and proceeded up the stairs to the dorm, readjusting the waistband of her skirt and feeling the place where her pocket knife sat discreetly in a small pocket as she went. Brenna had never appreciated being told that she wasn't able to do something. Not so much that she wasn't allowed to but that she was unable, that she physically could not accomplish or perform something. That testy edge to her had only heightened after living with her strict pureblood uncle who controlled everything she did or said, even to the point where he tried to control what she could remember.
The way Sirius had acted that morning had shown Brenna a side of him that she hadn't really seen before, the pureblood-raised side of him. In pureblood society, especially in the old families, it was typical for the head of the family and the other males in the house to have complete control over their female counter-parts. In terms of inheritance, males received the best and most first and the females got things that were left over. In day to day life, a girl's father told her how to dress, act, speak and marry and in the event that the father died the next eldest and closest relative assumed the autonomous role of "protector". Pureblood society ran on the notions that women were inferior to men and therefore should be controlled by their husbands/fathers/brothers/anyone-as-long-as-they're-male, women were little more than chattel. While many purebloods accepted that women could be intelligent they still believed that a woman should know her place, and that place is not as an equal to men.
A proper pureblood woman smiles in all the right places, speaks only when asked at societal gatherings, caters to her husband and does exactly as he says without question. A proper pureblood woman does not have a career besides taking care of the home, children and her husband, and being a hostess and guest periodically. A proper pureblood woman was exactly what Brenna's uncle had tried to make her and apparently proper pureblood women don't have nightmares of their parents' deaths, who would've thought? The point is that Brenna was raised by both her parents to be independent and capable so it's easy to see how she would have a problem with her uncle's mission to reform her horrendous, forward-thinking behaviour and lack of respect for chauvinists, the wretched girl! What a disgrace!
The memories of the eight months spent with her uncle, which resulted in her near death, and the feelings of resentment and hate that accompanied them had flared up at Sirius' behaviour. It had reminded her too much of the way her uncle had tried to prevent her from seeing the then unnamed Atomos and, you know, the fact that he almost killed her. While Brenna had forgiven Sirius quickly for calling her a freak, told him that he didn't even need to apologize, this was no where near the same thing and she would not be so accepting this time. This time she was pretty close to furious, and a furious Brenna is not a good thing. You could ask Ricardo Wilson who ended up in St. Mungo's for three and half months after an encounter with a furious Brenna. He's currently serving a life sentence in Azkaban for crimes that had been dubbed perfect due to the lack of incriminating evidence. Mr. Wilson made one mistake though and that was making Brenna furious with his cocky attitude and blatant disregard for life and justice. He immensely regrets not heeding the repeated warnings against provoking the 13-year-old Brenna and many claim that her passion to solve the case and prosecute the man that was so obviously guilty and yet so untouchable is the only reason that he is today behind bars. As one can easily see, furious Brenna equals big trouble.
Brenna was, for our intent and purpose, furious and Sirius was going to realise just what a mistake he had made. Now perhaps you are thinking that clearly Sirius was only trying to protect her, that he was only looking out for her and actually it's quite sweet, duh. But you see, Brenna is very capable of defending herself, her history proves that as does her duelling ability, and she does not appreciate the implication that can not, that she is unable to adequately choose her own conversational companions and she doesn't need Sirius Black to protect her. In fact she doesn't need him to do anything. And perhaps you are thinking that now she's just being an idiot and should swallow her pride and shower him with understanding and forgiveness to which Brenna would respond by calling you all complete and utter morons who can just mind their own business and not offer opinions that are not welcome. I would agree. So in an effort to avoid all that unnecessary back-and-forth I will simply say that Sirius Black needs to understand his place in the scheme of things and that it is not controlling Brenna's social life. That is clearly the job of the Order of the Dragon's ruling authority, the Master's Council, which decided that she could waste away dealing with chauvinistic 15-year-olds…joy to the world.
So Brenna entered the dorm, her expression a mixture of anger and exasperation, glaring at nothing in particular as she sat down on her bed. Lily, noticing her friend's expression, paused in her preparation for the day.
"You okay, Bren?" Brenna's eyes snapped quickly to Lily at the abbreviation of her name which Atomos alone was known and allowed to use. Pushing down the objection that rose in her throat over the name, Brenna sighed focussing solely on the events of the morning and the spite that had risen within her. "What's wrong?" Lily questioned again.
"Sirius Black is what's wrong." Brenna muttered, her eyes darkening significantly.
"What did he do? Do we need to kick his arse?" Marlene asked coming out of the bathroom, Alice following.
"Mar, she's got a brother for that. But seriously, what'd he do? Do we need to tell your brother to kick his arse?" Alice asked as the girls came to sit closer to Brenna to hear the story.
"Cyrus doesn't need telling." Brenna said cracking a small smile.
"Oh come on, out with it. What did he do?" Lily pressed yet again. Brenna pursed her lips for a moment before conceding and beginning the tale on the promise that the girls wouldn't interrupt.
"So I was walking to the Library with Regulus Black this morning –"
"Hold up, Regulus Black as in Sirius' slightly younger, slightly less gorgeous Slytherin brother?" Marlene interrupted. No one really thought that promise would be kept anyway.
"No the other one – of course it's Sirius' brother, Regulus! There is no other Regulus!" Alice answered rolling her eyes, Marlene pouted in response.
"Right, so I was walking to the library with Regulus –"
"Why were you going to library so early and with him of all people?"
"Marlene just let her tell the story!" Lily exclaimed. Marlene muttered a sheepish sorry before grinning broadly and gesturing for Brenna to continue.
"So Regulus and I were walking to the library and just talking about Gryffindor/Slytherin house stuff, when he mentions that Sirius is, and I quote: 'interested in me and watches me' –"
"That's not creepy at all."
"Or ominous, you know, 'cause people get 'watched' all the time." The corners of Brenna's lips twitched upward with the knowledge that most people were being monitored, watched if you will, frequently if not constantly by the Order's intelligence division, the aptly named Watchers.
"Yeah, so that's when Sirius shows up behind us."
"Oh stalker much?"
"Right? So he says 'and she should be thankful for that' –"
"He said that you should be thankful that he watches you?" Lily clarified, her eyebrows raised in disbelief.
"Yeah, but he wasn't even addressing me at all, he was speaking to Regulus as though I wasn't there. So Regulus said something like 'to what do we owe the pleasure' because that's how he talks to people he doesn't like or whatever, and Sirius goes and tells his brother to 'Fuck off and stay away from her'." Brenna said her voice indignant but not containing even a quarter of the disdain she felt for the elder Black brother at the moment.
"He told his brother to stay away from you? I mean I can kind of understand the whole He's-a-Slytherin thing but he said that right in front of you, without addressing you?" Alice's eyebrows were also raised.
This is where it was nice to have female friends, they were great empathisers and had a sort of pack-mentality, taking offence on behalf of each other and providing a united front. If Brenna had been telling Atomos, Sirius would've needed therapy after she mentioned that he watches her, a hospital after she told them about being 'thankful' and a morgue once she dropped his final controlling statement of 'stay away from her'. They empathised as best they could but sometimes girls could be a lot crueller and more conniving than the typical male instinct to hit the problem, literally, and move on.
"He didn't even look at me."
"Who the bloody hell does he think he is? He basically stalked you and was treating you like you belonged to him!" Lily exclaimed having no problem with disliking one of the Marauders even more.
"It's not like he's your boyfriend and even if he was he should've spoken to both of you. It's not as if Regulus is the only one who gets to decide. He could use an arse kicking." Alice reasoned earning a slightly disapproving look from Lily which was ignored.
"We should kick his arse for being such a chauvinist!" Marlene agreed causing Brenna to laugh at her eagerness.
"I appreciate it Marlene and Alice, but if anyone was going to kick his arse it'd be me and as it is I don't think I will at least not physically."
"Now that is a better idea." Lily agreed as the girls grew identical evil smirks.
:.:.:
Sirius walked into the Portrait Hole not long after Brenna had retreated up the stairs to the girls' dorms with a look of brooding contemplation on his face to see his mates standing in a haphazard circle with looks of confusion on their faces.
"What the hell did you do?" was James' greeting to Sirius who made his way over to them.
"Talking about Brenna?"
"Did you offend anyone else this morning?" Remus responded looking distinctly unhappy with his mate.
"Not that I recall." Sirius replied almost distractedly. He wasn't quite sure what to make of what happened that morning. After all, she was the one getting all chummy with his brother, a Slytherin Death Eater Wannabe no less.
"So what'd you do? I thought you were going to apologize for being short with her last night and she comes in here this morning telling us that you apparently control her or something? Either I'm missing something or you just gave the world's worst apology."
"I don't control her! Where the hell did that come from? I never said that!" What exactly had she told them?
"Well obviously you did something to imply it, Sirius. She wouldn't just make that up and knowing you, I don't doubt that you did make those insinuations." Remus said speaking rather roughly to him.
"Great mates you are, taking her side in this when you don't even bloody know what happened!"
"No one's taking any sides, mate, but when a girl comes in here clearly pissed off at you it seems pretty obvious that you did something." Since when was James the diplomatic, calm Marauder? Wasn't he always the impulsive, say-whatever-you-think kind of person? This whole drama between Sirius, Remus and Brenna really had to stop. It was messing with James' identity.
"She's the one who was flirting with my brother!" The three other marauders were all quite comically taken aback and Sirius might've laughed had he not been pissed off.
"Your brother?" Peter squeaked abandoning his earlier decision not to get involved in the ordeal that was Brenna Templar's impact on their previously comfortable life.
"She was flirting with Regulus?" James asked his eyebrows knit together in confused disbelief. Remus remained curiously silent.
"Two of them were walking to the library together, good thing I was looking for her if that's who she's going to spend her time with."
"And is that because I'm so bloody incapable of choosing for myself? Or is it because I'm not allowed to do things without the Marauder seal of approval?" Brenna's voice cut like knife, cold, detached and menacing she was very clearly mad. Sirius, however wise it might've been for him to simply explain his intentions, riled at her lack of understanding and spun to face her and the other girls fully prepared for a confrontation.
"He's my brother, Brenna. Whatever you think you know about him, you're wrong! You don't know anything; you don't have any idea of what he could do to you! He's a Slytherin, Brenna!"
"Thanks, Captain Obvious, what gave that away? The green and silver tie?" Brenna's voice was mocking and sarcastic which only further angered Sirius and she knew that but she needed a fight. She couldn't let this go and that was probably stupid and definitely irrational but she was just so irritated and not necessarily at Sirius, but all the frustration of dealing with these students was too much.
Thankfully, the rest of the Common Room was empty. It was still a bit early for breakfast and most people were just waking up or getting ready for the day, but even so, both groups of Gryffindors, the marauders and the girls, eyed the situation warily. Brenna and Sirius had moved a bit closer to each other and both were clearly not in the mood to settle things peacefully. As it was, this argument might be ending in a trip to the Hospital Wing.
"Stop being so naïve, Brenna! Merlin, you can not be this stupid! He's a Slytherin! An evil, wannabe-murderer, future Death Eater, Slytherin and he will hurt you!" Sirius' voice, while not much louder than normal, was definitely a yell. He was pissed at her and spoke with force and frustration, almost as though he was restraining himself from hitting her as he tried to make her see his point.
"And even so –" Brenna began before Sirius cut her off. This time his voice was lower, no less charged with emotion, but now he wasn't giving the impression that he was shouting at her.
"He's my brother; I know what he can do to you, Brenna. I've seen what he's capable of and you have no idea –"
"No idea? You think I'm some innocent little girl that doesn't understand anything, don't you?" Sirius tried to protest but Brenna simply spoke over him taking a half-step closer. "No you do, because if you didn't you wouldn't be lecturing me right now on the dangers of the world. Try to understand this, Sirius, I know a lot more than you think, hell I know a lot more than you. So don't go lecturing me about what he's capable of because I can assure you, I'm capable of a lot worse. What do you think Sirius, that I'm some defenceless damsel in distress that needs you to rescue her?"
"Brenna, I'm just trying –"
"I don't care. I don't care if you were trying to save my life because at the very least you should've spoken to me, you should've addressed me. If all you wanted was to warn me about the apparent danger that your brother presents, which I assure is quite minimal to myself, then you shouldn't have acted the way you did. I do not need another chauvinistic pureblood running my life, Sirius. You try not to be like your family, to ignore your upbringing, but the way you acted today, completely ignoring my presence and speaking only to your brother, whom you supposedly hate, is typical pureblood. And I don't need that, I don't appreciate it and I sure as hell will not tolerate it. So if you want to play hero, you leave me out of it. In terms of your brother, your concern is noted and does not need to be reiterated. For future encounters, I would thank you to keep in mind that I don't need you to protect me, I don't need you to worry about me and I certainly don't need you to rescue me. I've been doing just fine for that past 15 years without you." She paused giving him a hard, challenging stare daring him to question her. When he didn't, she gave a sarcastic, horrible smile and said, "Have a wonderful day."
With that she turned and stalked out of the portrait hole. Sirius stared, fuming anger swirling in his eyes, at the place she had disappeared. James was the quintessential deer in the headlights, Remus mimicked Sirius though without the intense fury, Peter fidgeted uncomfortably in the ringing silence and the girls exchanged wide-eyed glances.
"Well, er…that could've been worse?" Peter tried.
"In what way?" James asked incredulously.
"Well she could've slapped him across the face." Alice said with a shrug as the girls came out of their shock. Marlene snorted.
"Are you kidding? She totally would've broken his nose!"
"Shut up" Sirius snarled at them.
"Come on, let's go to breakfast." Lily said before Marlene could say any more, and the three girls left through the Portrait Hole leaving the Marauders in an awkward silence.
"Pads…" James started knowing that he'd have to tread carefully with his mate. After all, just last night he had admitted to fancying Brenna, really fancying her, and now she's pissed at him and off with his brother, 'flirting' if James was to believe Sirius.
"I don't want to talk about it." James counted mentally to two before Sirius spoke again, pacing and gesturing wildly in anger. "I mean who does she think she is? She thinks she knows that fucking bastard better than me? I'm his brother, his bloody, Merlin-forsaken brother! And she thinks she knows more than me? She has no idea what he's going to do to her! No bloody clue and she refuses to see it! I've seen what that prick does, what he thinks is fun! He's the same as my parents, the exact bloody same, and she just goes for early morning walks with him to the library? Why was she even with him so early! She's an idiot, a complete fucking idiot if she doesn't see the crap he's mixed up in. But her brother's the same, oh her brother and mine? Best fucking mates! No wonder she likes him! She's going to be a good little pureblood and marry someone her brother likes and then she'll join up! And if she doesn't marry him, she'll just fuck him!"
"Enough." Remus cut in. Sirius was angry and when he got angry he said a lot of things he didn't mean, and right now he was saying a lot about Brenna that probably wasn't true and that he'd probably regret once he calmed down. And even if he didn't, Remus didn't like it. Brenna was nice to him; he refused to believe that she was a pureblood extremist. After all, she was mates with Lily, a Muggleborn, when she could just spend her time with the Slytherins if she wanted to.
"What? You want to fuck her, too? Well sorry mate, but you're blood isn't good enough."
"Stop talking, Sirius. You're going to regret this later and you know it!" Remus said glaring at his mate for a moment. "Come on, Pete, let's get some breakfast." With that, Remus turned and made his exodus from the drama of the Common Room, Peter squeaked and, with a helpless look to James and Sirius, followed the young werewolf.
James sighed running a hand through his hair. What had started out as a peaceful, promising morning had exploded into chaos and classes hadn't even began yet.
"Sirius, you know Remus is right. You told me last night that you fancied her and now you're spouting nonsense about how she's a Death Eater who wants to fuck your brother?"
"You didn't see her today, all comfortable and cozy with him." Sirius was still angry, obviously, but he was calming down, he wasn't ranting or yelling anymore but he still clenched his jaw, grinding out the words.
"No, but I saw her just know and mate, it's not good. She's angry, she's really, really angry and I don't think that's going to go away. It's not like last time, she's completely pissed."
"I know that, you don't think I know that? What the fuck is wrong with me that I can't talk to the girl without saying something wrong? Why didn't I just talk to her instead of Regulus? She's right, I'm just typical pureblood." Sirius flopped down miserably on the couch. His anger was dissipating quickly replaced now with a self-loathing that James recognized from countless occasions before, like the time in first year when Sirius had referred to Muggleborns as Mudbloods without knowing the insult carried in the term, or when his mother sent howlers telling him what a disgrace he was.
"From your rant just now, it would stand to reason that she likes that." James pointed out trying to get Sirius away from wallowing in his own horridness and focussed on the problem at hand.
"I didn't mean it. Didn't you hear her, mate? 'I don't need another chauvinistic pureblood running my life. I don't need that, I don't appreciate it and I sure as hell won't tolerate it'…She hates me."
"Actually that brings up an interesting point. She said another, mate, which means that someone else tried controlling her before, right?"
"What's your point, James? It doesn't matter if someone else did, she's right, I shouldn't have ignored her. Why did I ignore her?" Sirius asked bewildered looking helplessly pathetic at James.
"Stay focussed, mate. The point is she might not hate you per se but rather the memory that goes along with the other 'chauvinistic pureblood'. Maybe that's the problem, you reminded her of the other guy. It doesn't seem like what you did should be that big of a deal, I mean sure it's a bit offensive but she completely blew up at you. She either completely overreacted or its about something bigger."
With James' words came a memory of when Sirius was first getting to know Brenna. He had told her five things about him and she had done the same and only now did one of those things seem significant. I hate my uncle with an intense passion that my friends say scare the shit out of them. That had been the day when he'd fallen on top of her dislocating her ankle and soon after that was the first time he'd ever felt those stupid, fluttery butterflies. He'd forgotten his curiosity and puzzlement over that statement in the excitement of the moments that followed but now it was back and stronger than ever. Could her uncle be the other pureblood? What had he done to her? Sirius found himself wanting to kill him, to make him suffer, for whatever he did to Brenna. And then he realised that he didn't know what the guy did, who he was and Brenna was angry with him.
"James, it doesn't matter, all that matters is how I fix it. What am I supposed to do? Just go up and say sorry? I'm still not happy with her hanging out with Regulus, he could hurt her, and I just"
"Care about her." James finished for him.
"Yeah, I care about her a lot more than I should for the amount of time that I've known her and I just…I've really made a mess of things."
"What're you going to do?"
"For now? Give her some space, let her cool down a bit and figure out what to say and how to say it. After that, I have no idea. It shouldn't be this difficult, fancying a girl I mean." James chuckled and Sirius gave a half smile.
"No," James agreed, "It really shouldn't be this hard." Without saying, Sirius got up and the two headed for the Portrait Hole to go for breakfast.
"Sorry for giving you shit all these years."
"Don't worry about it; I'll get you back for it." The two Marauders stepped through the Portrait hole laughing, unaware of the girl lurking on the stairs who had just heard Sirius admitting to his friend that he fancied a girl. They were completely unaware of the frenzy it would cause when that girl shared what she overheard with her friends and the events it would set in motion.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviews, please review this chapter hopefully it will inspire me to get working! So let me know what you think? Is Sirius to sappy? Is James too understanding? Who thinks Brenna overreacted? Who caught the somewhate abbreviated explanation of the meaning behind omfortably Grey? Let me know. Thanks again.