A/N: Halloo! I have an announcement to make. I'm not continuing this fic anymore! This is the last chapter and I'm not even going to bother with an ending!

Okay, I'm kidding. But this kicks off the "every chapter now will end with the most dreadful cliffhanger this author can think of!" arc! Because I enjoy doing that. Haha!

Chapter 5

Tsukuyo stared down at the rumpled, torn-out magazine page.

Gintoki scratched his head and grinned. "Iya, that sadist bastard said this might be useful..."

Tsukuyo blinked. "Ah. You're illiterate. I see. Well, okay. I'll read it to you."

Eye twitching, veins popping and fists clenching, Gintoki glared at Tsukuyo. "I can read! I made it through school!"

"You slept through class, I know you did."

"...that's not important. Anyway..." Gintoki thrust the crumpled piece of paper into her face. "I did try it. But I'm not sure what it's talking about and I mumble mumble mumble..."

"Haaa?" Tsukuyo leaned in closer. "What did you say?"

"That...I don't know who else to ask..." Gintoki stage-whispered.

"Ask what?" Seita popped out from nowhere.

"This isn't a discussion for kids. Get lost." Gintoki deadpanned, knocking him away with the back of his bokutou.

Tsukuyo took a long drag on her pipe and blew the smoke away. "Well, hurry up then. I haven't got all day."

xxxxxxxxxxx

"First question." The silver-haired natural perm and blonde Hyakka leader pored over the magazine scrap. "When you see her, you feel your heart beat faster. True or false." Tsukuyo looked up at Gintoki. "So?"

Gintoki scrunched his face up, thinking. As he stared up at the ceiling, Tsukuyo took an long drag on her cigarette, trying to steady her heart which was beating erratically for some reason. She blamed it on over-smoking.

"Well...yeah, it does beat faster." Gintoki finally admitted.

Tsukuyo tried to ignore the depressing sensation of her stomach dropping to her feet. "So that's true, then."

"I mean, I'm thinking, is she going to beat me up again? Have I done anything wrong recently or something that pissed her off? So yeah, naturally it'd beat faster."

Tsukuyo sweatdropped. "Uh...I don't think that's what it means."

"See! This is what I mean, I don't know why they're asking these questions! How does this help you figure out if you're in love or not?"

"Well, you know...it's that. If you're around someone you like, wouldn't you feel..." Tsukuyo gulped. "nervous?"

"Really?"

"Never mind," Tsukuyo said hastily. "Next question. You feel jealous when you see her with another man."

"See, this is what I mean. Translate that from women's language into a language I speak."

"This IS a language you speak, moron," Tsukuyo gritted her teeth. "Fine. Okay, say you see Otae-san...Imagine it."

Gintoki closed his eyes. "Yeah okay."

"And then let's say behind, her there's another guy, walking with her... or buying her Bargain Dash or whatever. How does that make you feel? Angry? Like you want to beat him up?"

Gintoki tilted his head thinking. "Nope. I'm fine."

Tsukuyo tried to ignore the sudden happy skip in her heart.

"I mean, Gorilla always does that anyway. I don't feel anger, I feel pity." Gintoki wiped away an imaginary tear. "Ah, even thinking about it, makes me feel so much pity for him..."

Tsukuyo glared at him. "This isn't working. Who was the idiot who gave you this thing anyway?"

Gintoki shrugged. "A sadist bastard."

"Yeah, I can see why. He just wanted to see you suffer." Tsukuyo leaned back, taking a long drag on her pipe.

Gintoki sighed. "I knew it. This is bullshit." He crumpled up the magazine page into a ball and threw it, hitting a peeking Seita squarely on his head. "I give up. Let her marry that idiot. Maybe he can make her happy, who knows?"

Tsukuyo exhaled. "True."

Gintoki shrugged. "Oh well. That's all that matters anyway," he mumbled, staring off into space.

"Gintoki..." Tsukuyo looked at him.

"I better go," Gintoki stood up and patted her on her head. "Thanks, Tsukuyo. You really helped. You're a really nice person."

Tsukuyo blushed at his touch. "I..didn't really..."

"I have to do some things. Wedding's in a month and I promised Zura, so... see ya." Gintoki walked away, his hand up in a parting wave.

Tsukuyo stared at Gintoki as he gradually disappeared into the busy streets of Yoshiwara.

"Tsukky-nee..." Seita joined her on the bench. "What was that about?"

Tsukuyo stayed silent for a while before she replied. "Seita, tomorrow I'm leaving Hinowa-sama to you."

"Eh? What do you mean?"

Tsukuyo looked down and smiled at him. "I've got an errand to run. On the surface."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It started to rain.

Gintoki looked up at the sky, eyebrow twitching. "Dammit. And the weather girl said it'd be sunny today... "

As he steadily rode past the crowds on his scooter, he suddenly noticed a familiar rabbit-patterned umbrella ahead.

This is my favourite umbrella.

As his scooter drew closer, he could make out the long black hair of the person holding the umbrella, as he stood patiently waiting outside a convenience store.

Please make sure you return it later.

Just as he drove past, he glimpsed a pony-tailed brunette in a purple kimono leaving the store, smiling happily, arms laden with what looked like a month's supply of ice cream.

As he rode away, he glanced at the rearview mirror, watching the brunette hand over the shopping bags to her companion holding the umbrella and taking hold of his arm so that they would both fit under the umbrella. He quelled the urge to fling his bokutou at something as he watched them walk away together.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Gintoki stood outside a never-visited door, took a deep breath and knocked.

Far in the depths of the house, he could hear a door slide open and footsteps walking towards the front door.

The door slid open and Katsura looked at him blearily, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, his sleeping robe still rumpled and hanging loose.

Gintoki stared at him, eyebrow twitching. Why the hell is his hair still perfectly in place!

"Gintoki."

"Zura."

Katsura looked at his childhood friend, standing outside his door at an unforgivable time of the morning. "I didn't realise you knew where I lived."

"Well, I've got my ways. So..." Gintoki cleared his throat. "Are you going to just make me stand out here or what?"

For a fleeting moment, Gintoki thought he saw Katsura's eyes dart elsewhere, before sighing and stepping aside.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So? What is it?" Arms folded, Katsura glared at his childhood friend seated across from him in the small room, trying (and failing) to mask his irritation at having to put up with visitors this early. "I'm surprised you're up at this hour. I didn't think you were physically able to wake up this early."

"Shut up." Gintoki glared back at him. "I...I need to talk to you. About ...you and Otae-chan."

Katsura looked at him, nonplussed. "What? You did manage to order the cake, didn't you? Exactly the way Tae wants it?"

"No, no, it's not about the cake, I..." Gintoki took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "Do you love her?"

Katsura blinked. "Huh?"

"I mean..." Shit! I'm going to start spouting rubbish. "I...there's...because if you don't, and if you're getting married just for the sake of getting married, there's somebody else who-"

"Kotarou-san? Who's that?"

Gintoki froze. A woman? In his house...this early in the morning?

Katsura cleared his throat and visibly blushed. "Sorry... Gintoki. You've caught me at a bad time."

A quiet rage started to wash over Gintoki. "Katsura..." he growled. "You better don't mean that I've caught you doing something you shouldn't be doing. If you do anything to hurt Otae-"

"Ara, Gin-san?"

Gintoki turned into stone. For peeking out from behind the sliding door to Katsura's bedroom was none other than Tae herself.

tbc

A/N: So! Will Gintoki tell Katsura and Tae how he really feels, even though Katsura and Tae has done xxxxxxxxx? Will he try to stop this marriage? Have they done xxxxxxxxx? Do I have to change the rating of the fic now! See you next chapter!