A/N: Thank you, as always, to Lisa, for beating those commas into submission! Thanks also to all of you who are reading and reviewing. Your support for this endeavor is heartwarming.

This takes place two years later. Joss and Joseph are now twelve.

Lessons

Josslyn's eyes flew open and she sat up so quickly that her head spun. Her heart hammered painfully in her chest and she flung her blankets away, scrambling out of bed. Her stomach fluttered with dread. She was late. Again. She had told the others to go on ahead without her because she was an idiot. Andraste's flaming knickers! Why had she decided that she would meet them in the laboratory instead of going to breakfast with Niall, Petra and Joseph?

Sliding her feet into her soft boots, she tried to run her fingers through her tangled hair. One day she was going to cut all of her hair off, just like the Tranquil wore theirs. It had to be easier than trying to keep her hair neat all the time when it wanted to go its own way. Tugging her fingers through a sticky clump, she felt her eyes water as her scalp protested. Maker's little round balls! What had she gotten in her hair this time?

Running down the corridor, she heard the first toll of the bells. How late was she? Would the bells toll eight times? Nine? She'd missed breakfast, but had she missed her potions class? Lucian Caravel was going to yell at her again. Or he would if she was lucky. If she wasn't, he would make her stand in front of the class and apologize in Arcanum, a language she was not very good at.

"Stop right there, young lady!" a voice called, dripping with irritation and authority. "Stop her, Ser Haggerty!"

Josslyn didn't understand what happened next. One minute she was running forward towards the stairs leading up to the potions class, and the next she was sliding backwards on her bottom, feeling like she was about to throw up, as well as being very sleepy.

"Maker's breath, Ser Haggerty, I meant for you to stop her from running in the halls, not smite her," Senior Enchanter Wynne chided.

"You didn't say that, Senior Enchanter Wynne. I'm sorry," the templar replied, stepping forward to help Joss.

He didn't really sound all that sorry, and Joss ought to know. She was always apologizing because she had to, not because she actually wanted to. And then she realized what had been said. Her mouth fell open and then she snapped it shut.

Smited? He'd smited her? Joss glared up at the templar, wondering if he could even see her expression through the narrow slits in his bucket. She sat forward, clutching at her stomach, which was very unhappy about the smite. It seemed to be rolling around and bouncing up and down.

"I wasn't even using magic!" she complained, and then promptly threw up all over his neatly-polished plate boots.

That should teach him to throw his smites around, Joss thought crossly as she sat back, hands shaking. She felt wobbly and the room was spinning. She'd never known anyone who'd been smited before. She wasn't even sure what it actually meant ,or why she couldn't feel even a trickle of mana flowing through her. And she couldn't sense the Fade at all. The silence was so strange. There was no hum, no murmuring.

"Oh, Josslyn, was that really necessary?" Senior Enchanter Wynne complained.

Well, it wasn't like she'd thrown up all over the templar on purpose! Joss turned her glare on the senior enchanter, whose dark hair was streaked with grey and whose mouth was all pinched and pursed. Old bat, did she think Joss had wanted to be knocked clear off her feet?

"Get up, child, and go change and wash. I'll let Lucian Caravel know you won't be in class this morning."

As Joss made her way back to the dormitory, walking very slowly because everything was still shuddering and shaky inside her, she wondered if Old Bucket-Head would get in trouble. Probably not. Somehow they'd find a way to make it all her fault that he'd smited her.

By the time she was cleaned up and feeling better, her stomach was rumbling for food. She poked her head out of the dormitory and saw Ser Haggerty, his boots gleaming once again, standing in his usual spot. She wanted to send a jolt of lightning into his helm, just a little one, but she didn't have any mana yet, so she settled for glaring up at him as she walked by his post. He shifted slightly, his boots squeaking as he moved.

"Never run in the hallways, it's dangerous."

Joss stopped mid-step and gave him her fiercest glare, the one she saved for when she was really angry and wanted to scare someone. Not that she could see if he was scared behind his stupid helmet. Niall said that Ser Haggerty always wore his helmet because he had been disfigured by smallpox and was so hideously scarred that he frightened people.

"That's not what they mean," she said, hoping he heard how angry and disgusted she was with him.

Old Bucket-head shrugged his metal-clad shoulders and ignored her. It was then that she decided she would get him to take that helmet off, and then maybe he wouldn't be so mean to the mages, maybe he'd understand that she wasn't something to be afraid of. Besides, if he really was as scary as Niall claimed, maybe she could scare Merrisoo into actually screaming or yelling or something. Joss smiled as she walked away. That idea had all the makings of a win-win situation, as Joseph liked to say.

When the others heard that Joss had been smited they crowded around her to find out what it was like. She spent nearly an hour regaling them with her tale of woe. Niall thought her idea to repay Ser Haggerty was sound, but he wasn't happy about Merrisoo being included in it.

Ever since Merrisoo had turned thirteen and begun to 'develop' - as the senior mages called it - Niall had been ridiculously protective of her, and Joss, who was still gangly and as flat as a flounder, didn't understand why. He couldn't possibly like her, could he? But there were times when Joss saw him staring at the perfect mage wearing a goofy smile on his face. Usually she'd go over and punch him when she noticed it.

Joseph pulled her aside and whispered in her ear that they ought to visit the templar in the Fade one night. "We can see what he dreams about and maybe even shape his dream, like you do ours," he said in a hushed voice that tickled her ear and made her want to giggle.

"Oh, I like when you come up with plans," she whispered back, thinking gleefully of the fun they could have. "Tonight?"

Joseph nodded and then they each socked the other in the right arm, waggling their brows before bumping left elbows, sealing their promise. Joss couldn't wait, even though it was hours before it was time for bed. Going over and plopping down on her bed, she spent some time trying to figure out what, exactly, they could do to Haggerty's dream that would really make him sorry he'd smited her.

"Joss, what was it like?" Owain asked, interrupting her daydream of creating the perfect revenge for Old Ser Bucket-head.

"Quiet, Owain."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Joss. I didn't mean to bother you."

Joss frowned, momentarily confused. He really did apologize too often. "No, no, Owain, I meant it was quiet. You know that humming sound in our blood? The one the seniors tell us is the magic flowing in us? Not a hum to be had. And the whispers from the demons in the Fade? Also gone. It was – it was lonely and kind of spooky. Think how all those poor saps without magic must feel. Just total silence."

Owain frowned and then motioned for her to scoot over so he could sit beside her. "Was it really spooky? Spookier than all those voices tempting you with things?"

She stared at him, thinking he was crazy. The demons that tempted her were fun. They hated to be ignored and she hated to disappoint their hating so she mostly ignored them, although sometimes she teased them right back, pretending to be interested in their offers. The only time she'd really been tempted was when one of them had promised her she'd be able to be with Joseph again. But by then Joseph was already discovering his abilities, and Joss knew he'd be coming to the Circle of Magi soon enough.

"Owain, do the voices really bother you?" she asked once it became apparent he was serious.

"They make it very hard to think sometimes. Don't you find that's true?"

"Mostly I just ignore them because it makes them angry. I love to make them angry, it's like a game."

Owain's expression shifted and he looked wistful, like he was wishing for something he couldn't have. "Is that what becoming a Tranquil is like, do you think? Silence?"

Joss frowned. "Maybe. Why?" she asked, feeling a prickle in her spine that made her shiver.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about it. What did you do to get smited?"

"Why?" Joss asked again, her frown furrowing her brow.

"For research purposes," he replied quietly.

"Owain, what are you thinking?"

Owain returned her frown with one of his own. "I'm just curious, Joss. Sorry I bothered you," he huffed, so unlike himself that Joss was immediately sorry she'd said anything.

"No, Owain, I didn't mean anything. It's just – it's just that sometimes you look like you want something you can't have. Like when Apprentice Poppins wants a second helping of dessert but can't have one so he stares at yours."

Owain smiled but Joss still felt uncomfortable. The smile seemed like it didn't really go beyond his mouth. She bounced on the bed, making his smile wobble and then he did the same, making her stomach flutter. She liked Owain. A lot. In fact, Joseph teased her about being sweet on him, but she wasn't sure about that. He was handsome and he shaved every day, while Joseph hadn't started shaving at all and Niall only did it once a week. And he was unfailingly nice to her. And smart.

"Are you scared about your Harrowing? You're only fifteen, Owain, you've got lots of time still, and I'll help you study and practice."

Owain started to speak, but Niall came over and wanted to know how Haggerty the Bucket-head had reacted to her losing her stomach all over his boots. Owain stood and went back to a desk, bending over his book again. Sometimes she could just punch Niall on his nose.

"Will you help me study, too?" Niall asked and he had that wicked gleam in his eye that always meant trouble, which made Joss grin in reply.

"Sure, what subject? Primal spells? The history of magic?"

"Come on, let's go somewhere else so we can talk without everyone watching and listening."

He pulled her along by her arm as they made their way out of the dormitory and along the curved hallway to a practice room. Glancing around to make sure none of the templars were watching, he pulled her into the room. As soon as the door was shut, he closed his eyes and pursed his lips. Joss giggled.

"What are you doing?" she asked, slapping his arm.

"Practicing."

"Practicing what? You look like Senior Enchanter Uldred's fish!" she said with another giggle as Niall opened one eye to glare at her. Uldred kept a colorful fish in a small glass bowl on his desk and whenever Joss looked at it, the fish was pursing its lips and flapping its fins.

"I do not!"

"Do so."

"Not!"

"So!"

"Just shut up and help me practice kissing," Niall said with a one-eyed scowl.

Joss's mouth fell open and she almost tripped on her jaw. "Kissing? You?" she asked with a funny squeak in her voice. She cleared her throat. "How can we practice that if we don't actually know how? Did you read a book on it or something?"

Not that she was really opposed to practicing. Maybe someone would actually want to kiss her one day and it would be nice to know how. She closed her eyes and pursed her lips, waiting for Niall to touch them with his. She waited. And waited. Finally, she opened an eye and saw that he was doubled up, laughing silently, his shoulders shaking.

"Niall, you…you lizard, stop laughing at me!" she hissed, her cheeks hot with embarrassment. Not that she wasn't used to be laughed at, just not by her friends.

"Sorry, but I see what you mean about looking like a fish," he finally managed around another fit of laughter.

Soon they were both laughing and then, unexpectedly, he leaned across the gap that separated them and put his lips on her mouth. Unfortunately she was still laughing and he kissed her teeth, which made them both fall into another bout of laughter.

"Who is it you're practicing for?" she asked when she had finally caught her breath again.

"I'm not saying because you'll just tease me or tell her. You're really bad at keeping secrets."

"I am not!" she exclaimed, feeling indignant at the accusation.

"Please, Joss, have you met yourself?" Niall asked, rolling his eyes. She rolled hers right back at him and added a glare when she was done.

"Let's just practice before the dinner bell rings."

"Fine, but be quick. I'm starving."

By the third try, Joss actually began to enjoy it a bit. Or at least she wasn't ready to smack him again. That had to mean something.

"Now, try it with your mouth open a little bit," Niall instructed.

Joss felt her eyebrow rise up and she put her hands on her hips. "What? Why?"

Niall rolled his eyes again. "Do you have to argue with everything?" he groused.

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Ha! You argue about the color of the sky," he retorted.

Joss's hands curled into fists. "I do not!"

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

"Oh, just open your mouth and close your eyes and hush!"

"Fine, but then I'm done."

She closed her eyes and opened her mouth and then felt something soft and warm trying to push its way past her teeth. She clamped down on it and heard a strangled scream from Niall. She opened her mouth and eyes at the same time, to see Niall stagger back, holding his hand over his mouth, his fingers bloody.

"Mah tahg!" he wailed.

"What? What happened?" she asked, running over to him and trying to help but he shook her away.

"Ooh 'it mah tahg!" he howled.

What in Andraste's ass did that mean? What was a mahtagh? Finally he cast a healing spell and she watched the pale white wisp of his spell, trying to understand what was going on.

"You bit my tongue!" he accused, glaring at her.

"That was your tongue? Well, why didn't you warn me you were going to stick it in my mouth?" she shot back, before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Ewww. Why would someone stick their tongue in someone else's mouth? She shuddered, as disgusted by that as she'd been the first time she's seen the Tower's mouser chewing on a mouse.

"The book says it's supposed to be nice," Niall responded and then stuck his tongue out, gingerly touching it. "It didn't say anything about biting it," he added, his expression sliding from outrage to gloom.

"Sorry, Melon. Next time, maybe warn a person, would you? And what book?"

"Young Lady Chattingham's Adventures."

Joss felt both of her eyebrows raise at that. "I thought First Enchanter Irving ordered that book burned."

Niall's gloom gave way to a grin. "Only the copy in the main library. There are several copies floating around. Do you want to borrow it?"

"Are you crazy? Not if it's about sticking things in someone else's mouth that shouldn't be there."

Another shudder shook her. What a horrible thought. And a stupid idea. "Come on, let's go get ready for dinner," she added, heading for the door.

"Can we practice again tomorrow?"

"All right, but keep your tongue in your own mouth."

At dinner, sitting across from Owain, Joss found herself wondering what it would be like to practice kissing with him. He glanced up from his bowl of stew and smiled at her and her stomach ran around in her like butterflies chasing butterflies.

~~~oOo~~~

"So, where is he and what dream should we give him?"

Josslyn looked around the flat, dull Fade and pointed to a small, green door leading into what appeared to be a walled garden. "He's in there and I'm not sure. Let's see what he's dreaming about and maybe it will help us figure it out."

The Fade was her favorite place and had been for as long as she could remember. Entering it, shaping it to suit her was more fun than anything in the normal world. Here she could glide, fly, run, create a snowstorm or recreate the only sunset she'd ever seen.

Joseph liked that Fadescape even more than the snow-covered fields of the Amell estate in Dragon's Peak. Probably because she really didn't remember her old home very well.

The gate opened quietly at her touch, and she and Joseph stepped into a garden filled with red and pink roses and bright white lilies. There were benches all around and she nudged Joseph, pointing to a man in a templar armor. "There's old Bucket-head," she whispered, pulling her brother forward.

They crouched behind a tall rosebush and watched for a few minutes. Haggerty stood up and carefully removed his helm, setting it on the bench. He hair was flattened by the helm and a bright orangey-red in color. She hadn't expected that. At. All. She heard steps coming from behind her and she ducked lower, hoping not to be seen.

A young woman, wearing a flowing blue gown, went hurrying past Josslyn and Joseph. Joss was thankful for the hiding place, poking her head above the rosebush to watch what was happening.

"You really did it, didn't you? What about us?" the young woman asked.

She had a husky voice, the kind that came with crying. Joss suddenly wished they hadn't come. She glanced at Joseph, who nodded his head. They turned to leave the Fadescape and then halted as Haggerty spoke.

"I had to, after what that apostate did to your father. Someone has to watch them."

Joss stood still, unable to move now because her curiosity overcame her sense, as Senior Enchanter Wynne liked to say.

"Don't do this, my love. Stay here, with me," the young woman said, and Joss could practically hear the tears in her voice.

Suddenly Josslyn's skin felt like it was trying to crawl off her body and she gripped Joseph's hand. "Let's go," she whispered.

"One more minute, Joss. I haven't seen his face yet."

With her hand still gripping Joseph's, she watched as Haggerty slowly turned to face the woman in the flowing blue gown. She couldn't help it. A gasp just rose up and sailed out of her mouth. Haggerty looked at her and she couldn't turn her eyes away from him, even though she tried. He blinked in surprise and his face turned the color of boiled turnips. Except for the scar on his face. It stayed pink, and ran from his temple to his chin. His left eye was puckered by the same scar.

He blinked and shook his head, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. She knew just how he felt.

"Let's go. Now!" she said, tugging Joseph's hand and running. The garden disappeared and they were standing in the raw Fade again.

"Wow, I didn't expect that. At. All," Joseph mumbled and he looked as ragged as she felt.

Joss nodded and then waved at her brother as the Fade began to shimmer, indicating that they were both on the verge of waking up.

She woke up then, but still felt as if her skin wanted to crawl away from her. Not that she blamed it. She felt as small as it was possible to feel. It was the first time, in all the times she'd done it, that she was sorry she knew how to enter the Fade, and she was especially sorry that she'd found his dream.

Old Bucket-head avoided her for a week. If he saw her coming, he turned and went the other way. Joss, who didn't normally apologize unless forced to, wanted to apologize to him in the worst way, but she couldn't without everyone in the Tower knowing how she could bend the Fade and she didn't think the templars would be happy about her ability. At. All.

Ten days after the incident, she noticed that Ser Haggerty was nowhere to be found. She marched right up to Knight Commander Greagoir and asked him where he was, but she was pretty sure she already knew.

"He's gone to Highever, where he's from. He was never comfortable here. He'll probably be much happier serving in the chantry there," Greagoir explained with a shake of his head. "Some people just aren't built for the Tower."

Joss watched Ser Greagoir walk away and then she looked at the vacant spot where Ser Haggerty should be standing guard. She blinked several times, wondering why she felt like crying. But, deep down, she knew.

Standing alone, the noise of the mages sounding far away, Joss made a vow never to enter someone's dream again without telling them ahead of time. Or at least do her best not to. Never say never, as Petra said.

"Hey, Joss! Come on! Time for Potions class!"

Instead of running to catch up, she whispered, "This is for you, Ser Bucket-head," and quietly walked down the hall to class.