Chapter Six
Elizabeth studied her husband as the news of what she just said sank into his brain. She watched the happiness that had glimmered so brilliantly fade into a swift and brutal bitterness that left Elizabeth stunned. She didn't know what exactly made her take a step back in fear, causing her to press herself against the door, but Lucky saw it and it only seemed to infuriate him more.
"I knew it! You and everyone else denied it all along. You even had me believing I was going crazy; that it was the pills but it wasn't was it? You were sleeping with Patrick Drake all along!" She watched, not bothering to argue with him now, as he raked a hand through his wild locks making the mane look even more untamed. She didn't know who this man before her was, but he certainly wasn't her husband, at least not the man she married. She found herself flinching back with each violently delivered word left his mouth.
"Saint Elizabeth! Oh how the mighty have fallen huh? Glad to know there's someone else down here in the pits of hell with me. Tell me…just tell me this. Did you sleep with after we made love the last time, or had you just left his bed? Was it good Elizabeth?" Elizabeth shrank back as he moved towards her, his hands on either side of her head, pressing her back against the door. "Was he better than me?" Elizabeth didn't know what in the world to say to this man standing directly before her.
A part of her brain kept reminding her that he was high, he was high and he was hurt, but that didn't give him the right to treat her like this. It was this behavior that had driven her into the arms of Jason anyway. She'd been a fool to believe that she would be able to make this marriage work. She doubted if he'd ever really even stopped taking the pills. She'd been a fool for so incredibly wrong. It was enough to make tears fill her eyes. When had she lost sight of the man he was becoming? Had her love blinded her so fully? Was she responsible for all this mess? And then almost as if he'd spoken the words from right beside her she heard Jason's voice telling her no. And it was enough to give her the strength to place her hands on Lucky's chest and give a push. The push allowed her to duck under his arms and keep herself at a safer distance from Lucky, which for her state of mind was a really good thing.
Standing firm she lifted her chin and spoke with a calmness she didn't feel, her hands resting on the flat of her belly where her new child lay. "First off Lucky, I can't believe that you would ever, ever treat me like this. It only goes to prove I was right. Cameron and I can't be trusted in your care. Not while your like this," she held up a hand to halt him when he looked like he was going to speak, "No Lucky, I let you rant at me and now your going to give me the same courtesy whether you like it or not. I have never, nor will I ever sleep with Patrick Drake. We're friends Lucky, we always have been and nothing more. He's stood beside me and assisted me in trying to support this family when your pride wouldn't allow us to have food on the table or bills to be paid. I'm grateful to Patrick for helping me see just how desperately you needed help and then stood by and assured me it wasn't my fault that any of this has happened, that it was yours."
Elizabeth took a shaky breath and forced herself to stop trembling so badly. She needed to look strong; firm in his eyes so he would know she was serious. There would be no apologies for this and she wouldn't give them even if she could. "Yes Lucky, I slept with someone, I had an affair but it was only after I came home to see you and Maxie sleeping together in my bed. My bed! The one I had before you came back into my life, the one I made my son in the home I made for us. And if for one second you think I'm going to apologize for that, you have got another thing coming. I went to the one person I could think of who would comfort me, hold me and cherish me, because of me. Someone who I let go, to build a future with you. I made that mistake once and its one I've lived with for many years. Well I'm through sacrificing for you Lucky Spencer. Jason and I may never be anything more than friends, but having nothing but a friendship with him is far better than being married to you."
Elizabeth could see the shock come over Lucky's face when he heard her drop that name. All through her little speech she knew he hadn't believed a word of it until she mentioned Jason. Lucky had always been jealous of Jason, perhaps because he could see there was something special between them, something that they used to have together before the fire and Helena. She could have screamed to the heavens that she'd never slept with Patrick and he wouldn't have believed her but just the mere mention of Jason's name had realization flashing in his expressive eyes. She could tell the news hit him like a punch because he staggered back and looked at her with such pain in his eyes that she had to force the instinct to run to him back. She watched as he leaned against the wall as if for support, his right hand covering where his heart used to be as if she'd ripped it right out of his chest. And perhaps she had.
"Your…your pregnant with…with Jason's…" he couldn't even finish the statement it hurt him so badly to say it and Elizabeth was forced to blink back tears as he sank to the carpeted floor and stared at her almost vacantly. He looked so lost, so vulnerable that just for a second he was that beautiful young man he used to be and Elizabeth could do nothing else but go to him. Kneeling down at his feet she rested both her small hands on his knees and the sapphire of her eyes forced his to focus on her. Despite the drugs and the affairs, despite the years they'd been growing apart even though they were married. Lucky was still her best friend and he was hurting right now.
"Lucky," she paused, took a breath and tried again. "Lucky you're my best friend, the only one on this planet that knows me inside and out and no matter how many years have passed or how many more will follow I truly believe that your apart of my soul and I'll always love you, I just… I just can't be in love with you anymore. It has nothing to do with Jason, Patrick, hell not even Maxie, but it has everything to do with us. We've been growing apart for years just neither one of us was willing to admit it. To let go of those dreams would be letting go of a part of ourselves and we just weren't ready for that. This problem of yours, the actions the pills made you do…it just opened our eyes too it sooner."
Lucky seeming to calm down slightly lowered his hand from his heart and rested it upon one of hers, lacing their fingers together, connecting them in a way that only their souls and hearts understood. "Do you love him?" It was barely a whisper of words but Elizabeth knew that it hurt him just to utter them. It took Elizabeth a moment to answer because she really wanted to be honest with him from now on. She was through with all the lies and secrets that had gone on between them. She wanted nothing but honesty from now on.
"I…I don't really know Lucky. I think a part of me never stopped loving him, that a part of him will always have my heart just like you do, but am I in love with him? I don't really know."
That answer seemed to satisfy something within Lucky because soon he gave a nod of his head and began to rise taking Elizabeth with him. Elizabeth studied Lucky closely; afraid that she might see something there that would haunt her for the rest of her life. And she knew that she'd have to live with hurting him for however long she still remained on this planet. But whatever it was she was looking for wasn't there. Instead the lost boy was gone from Lucky Spencer's expression and instead stood a man that Elizabeth had never seen before but one she'd waited countless years too see…Lucky Spencer, the man he was always supposed to be.
"I know I can never make up for everything that I've done to you, to us. I'll have to live with what I've done but…but I want you to know I never stopped loving you and I'll be here for you and Cameron."
"I know Lucky." Elizabeth moved forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him fiercely for as long as she dared before she released him and offered him a sad smile before he turned and left, taking a bit of her heart with him. She didn't hear the door open behind her and she didn't see Jason move in front of her through the tears she didn't know she was crying, but she did feel him take her in his arms and offer her the only safe haven she had left in this world.