Ray ran out the door in pursuit of Hannah. Leaving Janet standing there alone, a wild rush of thoughts running through her head. She tried calling Hannah, but the line went right to voice mail. She slipped down stairs and found Mr. and Mrs. Daniels. They too had seen Hannah run and then Ray run after Hannah. Sam gravitated to Janet's side, she was the one solid thing he had to lean on. "Did that just happen Janet?" he asked with a mix of hope and sadness in his eyes."Yeah Rockstar I think it just did." Janet wrapped her arm around him. It was decided that Sam would go back to Janet's house with his grandfather and leaving Mrs. Daniels and Janet to deal with the impending blowback. Somehow Janet got talked into making the announcement to the clueless crowd in the backyard. She walked down the aisle alone and stood under the gazebo that Ray had built for the occasion, she whispered to the priest and shock spread across his face. "Um, excuse me everyone may I have your attention." Janet's voice cracked "Due to some unforeseen circumstances, there is not going to be a wedding today. I am sure I speak for Ray and Hannah that they are very sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. And Mr. and Mrs. Daniels have asked that you all go over to the Johnson Inn to enjoy a thank you dinner." The buzz of the crowd, lead to shock and speculation. Janet froze when she saw Ray storming up the isle clearly looking for Nicky. Her instinct kicked in and she made her way towards Ray in attempt to not bring anymore drama to the day. Eddie sat in the middle of the aisle surrounded by Nick, Owen and Allison trapped. He followed Janet's eye line and saw that Ray was coming. "This is YOUR FAULT GARRETT!" Janet put her hands up in front of her palms flexed and made contact with Ray's chest. He was like a rabid animal. He didn't even see Janet, just an obstacle in his way. His elbow made contact with her jaw sending her reeling back, Eddie literally jumper over chairs and people to get to her. Owen and Ikey were not far behind." RAY!" Janet yelled. Eddie was standing in front of her now. Shoulders hunched, fists drawn. She put her hand on his arm pulling Eddie behind her as she said Rays name for a second time. Her voice snapped Ray out of it for a second. He looked at her and saw the bruise already forming on her face. His whole body slacked over long before Owen and Ikey got to restrain him. "Janet... I..." Tears ran down Rays face. Janet took two steps towards him. She waved at Owen and Ikey to let him go. "I am so sorry Janet." Janet's voice was no more then a whisper, and the crowd that surrounded them was shocked into silence. "I know Ray, I know..""She's gone, I lost her." Janet knew this kind of pain. The loss of the one person you hold dear, your true north gone. You are reeling not knowing which end is up or down. And all you want is something solid, something to grab on to and something that will grab on to you. Janet wrapped his arms around him and he sobbed on her shoulder. "Ikey, call Matt. Ray is going to need him today." Ikey nodded to her turning around as he took out his cell phone. ***Janet was dead tired, she had been looking for Hannah for hours. She went to her house, 32 Gelson she even checked the shed, then to the high school, the point, the lake. She called her parent's house in the cape, called her cell phone a million times. The mail box was full and she couldn't leave anymore messages. Sam and his grandparents had returned back to Hannah's house in case she decided to turn up there. Janet thought she would stop by her house one more time and see if Hannah had used her spare key and was waiting for her there. Janet pulled into her driveway and found Ray and Matt both drunk on her front porch."You didn't find her did you?" Ray slurred"No Ray not yet.""Janet." Matt nodded"Matt. You guys need to leave, I am not comfortable having your drunk asses here.""Janet I am sorry that I hit you.""You hit her?" Matt voice was tipped with anger and shock."It was an accident Matt, I am fine" Matt took a step closer to Janet and reached out to touch the bruise he now realized that was on her face. She stepped back when he extended his hand. "Matt don't" "There was a time when you didn't mind me touching you.""Yeah well there was a time I thought I was going to marry Rick Springfield and live on a rocket ship.. Things change Matt""Leave her alone Matt." Ray stood up," We'll go Janet, would you call me when you find her." "No Ray I won't. Hannah will call you when she is good and ready." Before Janet could react Ray wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight. "Thank you for what you did for me today I will never forget it." Eddies truck pulled up just in time to see Ray grab Janet and pull her into his arms. He rushed to her."Ray, let her go." Eddies voice was tight and angry. His eyes jumping from Matt to Ray. Janet was relieved that he was there and she instantly relaxed. "We were just leaving QB, come on Matt lets go.""Wait" Janet called out "Give me your keys Matt" Matt handed her his keys, his hand lingering over her hand for a few seconds longer then necessary. When they were out of sight Janet sat on her front stairs, and put her head in her hands, to tired to cry she just sat there for a moment. "No luck finding Hannah?" Eddie asked sitting next to her."No. None and I went everywhere." Janet inhaled sharply " All I want to do is take off these fucking shoes, this stupid dress, this torture device called a Spanx that the saleswoman insisted that I wear and slip into a hot tub with a LARGE glass of Makers Mark." Eddie laughed lowly "So why don't you then?" "Because I need to find Hannah, she does stupid things when she gets like this. Remember" Eddie was not sure if Janet knew about the night he and Hannah hooked up. But the tone in her voice made him think that she did. A tear ran down Janet's cheek and Eddie quickly wiped it away." Where would you go Eddie?" Janet said breathlessly "What?""Where would you go if something awful happened?" Eddie thought for a few moments"I would go to you Jem." His voice was soft "If something bad happened I would go to you. You are one of the best people I know, and you always know what to do." "Wait. what did you just say?" Something clicked in Janet's weary brain.'I said you are one of the best people I know...""I know where she is eddie" Janet interrupted. "Where?""She is at Caroline Garrets grave."She stood up quickly and lost her balance. Eddie grabbed her by the waist steadying her. "Whoa there Janet, when was the last time you ate or drank anything?" "I honestly don't remember.""I'll drive you Janet, you are exhausted. and I don't like the idea of you alone in a cemetery in the middle of the night."Eddie never removed his hand from Janet's waist as he walked her to his truck. He opened the door and stood there holding her for a moment, he lifted his hand to her chin she pulled away before he could touch her. He inspected the black and blue that was worse then he expected it to be."How is your chin." He face was lined with worry. "Its fine Eddie really." Janet was lying, it throbbed and her jaw was tight but she really couldn't do anything about it now. "No its not, did you even put ice on it.""No, but really its not the first time I have been hit I can take it trust me." The worry mixed with the exhaustion got the best of Janet and those words were out of her mouth before she could think"What?" Eddie was shocked. Janet looked away from him "Janet what does that mean, did Matt ever..." "No Eddie, no... not Matt. Listen I cant have this conversation right now. Ok. Please just take me to Hannah." ***Eddie truck pulled up behind Hannah's car, Janet was right. Hannah was sitting on the bench in front of Caroline Garrets grave, still in her wedding dress with a half drunk bottle of something in her hand. Eddie and Janet got out of the truck"Wait here Eddie ok." Eddie just nodded. Janet took a few steps into the grass and her heels kept sinking in. She tore her shoes off turned around and threw them to Eddie. He smiled at her as he caught them. As she walked she ripped out the bobbie pins holding in her up do tossing them to the ground, letting her hair fall in curls around her shoulders. Eddie watched in awe, the strength of this woman astounded him. "Hannah Jane?" Her voice scared Hannah and she turned relieved to see Janet standing there. "Janet you found me. Of course you found me you know me better then anyone. " Hannah took a long swig from her bottle the dark liquid burning her throat " You told me what Ray was. You told me a million times to come clean about Sam… you told me. "" Hannah" Janet's voice was soothing." I have really messed up this time. My mom can't even fix this. I have to tell you something " Hannah took another swig from the bottle only this time it wouldn't go down. Hannah gagged and vomited on the grass beside her. Janet crouched down and rubbed Hannah back and the missing contents from the bottle found its way out of Hannah's system. When she was done Janet held her has she wept. "Hannah listen to me. You are going to get through this. Ok. You are. When everything went on with me and Eddie and Rooster and Rory. I wanted to die. I wanted to curl up and fade away. But time passes and I got thru it. I realized that I don't need Eddie to live my life and be happy and Hannah you are going to come to realize that you don't need Ray and you're mothers lies to be happy. You are a force of nature Hannah you are going to get thru this. And once Nick knows the truth he will get over his anger" "You're my best friend Janet. And when I tell you what I am about to tell you I am going to lose you too."" Hannah you are never going to lose me. Ok" Hannah took a deep breath " Nick might be Sam's father. "" Might be?" " But it be could Eddie too… "Janet head was reeling for the second time of the day. Sure Janet knew that Hannah and Eddie had a drunken night the summer Nick left. But the idea that Eddie could be Sam's dad never entered into the picture. At lease Janet's picture. Eddie had made his way to the girls when he saw Hannah puke. He knew that Janet and vomit didn't mix. And wanted to offer his help. It didn't intend to listen to what they were saying it just happened. First he heard that Janet didn't need him to be happy that was painful enough but then Hannah's confession of Sam's potential paternity was too much to hear. Janet turned when she heard the air escape from Eddie in shock she turned to him his eyes locking with hers. The mix of pain, fear and confusion. "Eddie how much did you hear?""I heard it all Janet I heard it all. ""Eddie I don't know what to say. I'm… "" No Janet's it's not your apology to make. It's Hannah's "" Well she is passed out so I wouldn't hold your breath. Will you help me take her to the truck?" Eddie scooped Hannah up over his shoulder. He would have carried her more gently but he wanted a free hand to guide Janet. His hand rested at the small of her back and then her waist"You take Hannah in my truck. I will follow in her car. I'll park it in your garage so no one will know she is there""Thanks Eddie""Are you ok to drive ?""Honestly I am not sure but I will go slow And you will be in front of me right?""I sure will J the whole way""Ok. Let's go."An hour later Janet had gotten Hannah out of her wedding dress got two Advil and a glass of water in her before putting her to bed in her guest room. She called Mrs. Daniels and let her know that Hannah was found and sleeping. It was just after two in the morning Janet had been up almost 24 hours and was exhausted. She was shocked to find Eddie sitting on her sofa. "I thought you round have left by now?"Eddie just shrugged and stood from the sofa. His jacket and tie were long gone and his dress shirt was opened sleeves rolled up exposing his wife beater beneath. He extended his hand to her and she took it.

"Come with me." Eddie lead her to the bathroom where her bath was drawn and toast was made along with a glass of orange juice. "I know you wanted whiskey but I figured this was a better idea. Eat get in the tub and call me when you are in. I will sit with you until your finished. Don't want you falling asleep in the bath. " Eddie turned to leave"Eddie thank you this is above and beyond" Janet's voice was hoarse and weak. "No J what you did today was above and beyond. All I did was run a bath."

Janet eased her body into the warm sudsy water, a moan of pure pleasure left her body, she leaned back and relaxed. "Eddie, I am in."

Eddie walked in, and sat on the tufted bench that Janet kept on the side of the tub.

"This was quite a day." Janet mumbled something back that sounded like yes.

Eddie watched her intently, the tops of her breasts just peaking above bubbles, her hair floating above the water. Her head tipped back, eyes closed, mouth slightly parted, her steady breathing keeping a rhythm with his heart. A wayward moan would emanate deep from within her, and the sound and swish of the water when she reached up to rub her jaw. She winced and he felt a pain directly in his heart.

"Let me get you some ice." Eddie started to get up. Janet grabbed his hand.

"No please don't leave." They made eye contact, it had been seven months since they had really touched each other skin on skin, Eddie gave her hand a squeeze and sat back down. They didn't talk, just listened to the other breathe and that was enough. Like Eddie feared Janet fell asleep in the tub, he nudged her awake. "Come one Jem, lets get you to bed." He wrapped her in her grey robe, letting his eyes, slowly take in her naked body, the bubbles clinging to her curves. When she was covered by the robe, he dried the tips of her hair and her feet and legs. He lifted her like a baby and carried her to the bed. He covered her with the quilt her grandmother had made for her as a child and kissed her gently on the lips before turning to leave. "Mmmmm, Eddie… I love you.." Those there words cut thru any anger or pain he had been feeling. It was the first time she had ever told him that she loved him. Tears stung his eyes. "I love you too Janet." He turned out her bedroom light and closed her door behind him.

***Janet's phone was ringing off in the distance. The sun was her enemy as it poured thru the windows burning her eyes. Her mouth was dry and the whole left side of her face was sore and swollen. She reached for the phone but when she answered all she got was a dial tone. She got out of bed, pulled her robe tight to her body and made it to the bathroom to pee and brush her teeth. The smell of coffee found it way to her nose and when she went to the kitchen she found Hannah sitting there crying. They talked for hours, about Sam and who his father was, Ray, the summer that Nick left, Eddie and Gavin. Hannah just poured out everything she had been holding in for over ten years and Janet was there. Hannah finally left to face the music with her parents and she needed Sam.

Eddie's phone rang and he smiled when he saw JEM pop up on his screen.

"Hey there."

"Hi Eddie."

"How are you doing this morning… er afternoon?"

"I am ok, considering, better then Hannah. I just wanted to thank you for what you did last night, I don't know what I would have done if yo.."

"Janet you don't need to thank me… I was… Happy to be there for you. We never did get to have that drink though or our talk, what are you doing tomorrow maybe we can get some dinner?" It was a bold move and Eddie knew it but he took the chance never thinking that Janet was about to turn him down.

"Uh, Eddie, I can't…" His heart dropped "I am sorry I would like to but Hannah and I are going on her honeymoon. We are leaving tomorrow."

"Oh, how long are you going for?"

"Ten days, we will be back next Thursday."

"So you will be back for your birthday then."

"Yes we will be back for my birthday on Friday."

"What about Sam?"

"He is still going to the cape with his grandparents like it was planned."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know, Hannah needs some time to process all of this, when she gets back she is going to have you both get paternity tests done. PLEASE Eddie keep this in the vault until we get back. You CAN'T tell Nicky yet." Anger rose in Eddie but he knew Janet was right.

"Ok Janet, Ok but when you guys get back we have got to work all this out the Sam thing and the you and me thing."

"I know and we will."

"I am going to miss you." Eddie voice was low and tentative.

"I am going to miss you too."

He ten days in Jamaica flew, at first Hannah just wanted to cry and be left alone but over the days she began to heal and relax. By the end of the trip she felt like she could face whatever came next. It was almost eight by the time the cab dropped Janet off at her front door, she and Hannah hugged and Janet was reminded that they had a birthday spa day in the morning. Hannah's gift to Janet.

No sooner did Janet sit on her sofa she called Eddie. They had zero contact over the last ten days and it was killing them both.

"Hey you! Are you back?"

"I am, I just got in my front door."

"Good, I am coming over, wanna go for a drive and talk a bit?" Janet was tired from the travel she couldn't turn him down again.

"I would like that, see you in a few minutes." Janet was already waiting for him on her front porch. She was tanned and relaxed and her hair was back to its old curly ways. She was in a white tank top and cut off denim shorts. She waved when he pulled into her drive way and made her way to the passenger seat of the car. "Well you are a sight for sore eyes J, you got a great tan."

"I spent a lot of time alone on the beach." Janet giggled. God he loved that sound, the only sound he loved more were the moans right before she came.

He pulled out of her driveway and the drove for a while, talking about the trip and best friend windows, both avoiding what they needed to discuss. Janet had been sitting for hours on the plane and her legs was killing her, she slipped off her canvas sneakers and stretched her legs out on to the dashboard, just slightly bent at the knee. She felt instant relief. Like a sirens call that Eddie couldn't resist he reached out and rested his hand below her knee and ran it down her smooth calf. His touch sent a wave of pleasure thru Janet that concentrated to her core. She didn't make a move to stop him as his hand made its way back up her thigh to the frayed hem of her shorts. Her soft warm skin under it calloused palm, cause him to tighten his abs making it difficult for him to even breathe.

"Janet." His voice was a low hungry husky whisper. Janet quickly took her legs down breaking the moment. He continued to drive when she finally spoke.

"Eddie, so much has happened. We are both so different now. " Eddie nodded in agreement. "I don't know if we can find our way back or not, I don't even know if it is possible, or if that's what we even WANT at this point. But I can't remember what it feels like to kiss you, or to have your arms around me. I cant remember how it feels when you are inside me and everything else just goes away for a little while and its just you and me." Janet looked away from him to scared to read his face. " What I did, was unforgivable, but I will never forgive myself. I am not looking for your forgiveness anymore. Its like looking for a unicorn. It will never exist. I get that." Tears were rolling down her face. "I wish you would have talked to me then, when maybe the details would have mattered but now it just seems so useless… My wound has scabbed over and talking about it is only going to rip it open again. I can't… I just can't do that… If that's what you need I am sorry…" Eddie pulled his car over to the side of the road, took off his seatbelt and turned his body toward Janet.

"I was so angry Janet, I mean to have all that anger no nowhere to put it. Because I knew deep down that it was my fault… I pushed you into bed with another man. I took the one person in my life who made it worth something and I made you feel worthless. But what really makes me crazy is why you didn't STOP… at some point you must have thought this is an awful idea. I need to stop."

"Eddie, please I can't do this."

"Please just tell me why you didn't stop and I wont ask you another thing." He was pleading with her, his eyes glassy and his voice choked. Janet wanted to forget and move forward, with or without Eddie. She didn't want to rehash and relive those awful moments she remembered with Rooster.

"I was drunk Eddie, I was drunk. I finished the bottle of wine we had started the night before, those orange beers I bought for you that you hated and then when that was all gone… I called Rooster and her brought me homemade moonshine…" Eddies eyes widened with shock and then sadness " And I did shot after shot after shot.." This is what Janet wanted to avoid she felt like she was bleeding, like every drop of her was pouring out. "Was Rooster drunk?"

"No, he was sober. And he said some nice things to me and before I knew it I woke up the next morning and he was next to me in bed. Everything else is a blur." Eddie reached out to touch her, but she recoiled. "Don't Eddie, this is what I didn't want. But God knows no one really cares about what I want. I am just here to be everyone's everything. You need a friend, someone to make you feel better about yourself, a drink and fuck maybe a hug or someone even to kick to make your self feel tall. Good old Janet the Planet always ready and waiting at the whipping post. And here I am. Even now, here I am giving you what you need when I just told you not five minutes ago that I couldn't." Janet opened the truck door and jumped out shoeless walking in the direction of her house some 2 miles away. She didn't think it through but the commitment was made and she couldn't turn back now. "Janet would you just wait a minute." Eddie jumped out and followed her. "I am sorry Janet, please just stop." Janet stopped in her tracks, turned around and walked towards Eddie. She pulled her hand back and slapped his across the face, her hand stinging upon impact. "HOW COULD YOU KISS HER EDDIE!" the scabbed over wound as now ripped open and Janet couldn't hold back anymore. Eddie was stunned, not just from the slap but form the guttural quality in Janet's voice. "WHY? EDDIE WHY? I need to hear you say it?" A wave of shame washed over him, Janet knew him too well.

"I need to see… I needed to know…" He couldn't bear to get the words out.

"Say it Eddie…" Tears rolled down Janet's cheeks, hot heavy tears.

"I NEEDED TO SEE IF YOU WERE ENOUGH! To see if you were worth giving up girls like Rory, to see if I could feel like I did when I was seventeen" And there is was, what had gone unsaid between them long before Rory ever made it into town.

"You see Eddie, I knew that your words were just words, to make me feel better, that deep down there was always a looming question mark despite your protestations. I knew you were lying." Eddie felt trapped and said the first thing that popped into his head.

"You lied too."

"I never lied to you."

"You said you had NEVER been in a relationship." Eddie was building momentum "but then I come to find out that you were in a relationship with Brett and Matt." Janet was shocked into silence. "Do you know how I felt, sitting there having Brett tell me that he fucked you in the storage room while I sat there drinking my beer?"

"Are you kidding me right now. Eddie I was NEVER in a relationship with Brett or Matt. We had sex, I never told you I was a virgin. I had sex with two men before you. How many were before me? And as far as Brett I didn't "fuck" him that night in the storage closet. And really you paraded girl after girl in front of me for weeks. So fuck you Eddie and your wounded heart." All of her tears and sadness were gone. All that was left was anger. "You never once told me that you loved me Eddie. I waited and waited and you never once even indicated to me that you loved me. We were together for six months, and I had know you for over a decade."

"I loved you Janet, I loved you that night I got punched in the face by the kid from the Duf, I loved you when I asked you to meet Ernesto, I loved you when you when I was sitting in the porch at Owens at the BBQ getting a new one ripped by a 10 year old. I loved you when you wouldn't speak to me, I loved you when I watched you twirl, when you gave me a wolf, when we made love for the first time and when we made love for the last time and every moment in between. I LOVED YOU!"

Janet was drained, her body felt empty, hollow, abandoned. She looked at Eddie with blank unreadable eyes. "I need to go home" She walked back to the truck and retrieved her sneakers. "Janet please don't go. Please." Eddie was right behind her as she was leaning over pulling her sneakers back on her feet bracing herself on the opened truck door. Eddie placed his hands on her lower back. Janet stiffened and she stood turning to him. "I love you Janet." He brushed his fingers over her yellowed bruise. "And I love you Eddie." They stared at each other for what seem like minutes, neither one with the courage or energy to move. Finally Eddie put his hands at her waist, drawing her near him. Pressing her to his body, wrapping his arms around the small of her back. Their faces were inches apart and they just looked at each other, Janet lifter her head slightly, cocking it to the side, a small challenge. Eddie kissed her finally, pressing his lips to hers, a moment seven month in the making.