Hi to all my readers… Sharigan Hikari, FirieGurl, Chikako-Chan, Empress-Dragon, Azure-Blue-eyed-dragon, RickaZcruser and Rosy Boa. Thank you for sticking with me! This is a less funny chapter… I guess it's just plot-building. I finally got around to looking at the newer chapters of the manga, and it seems.. well, I won't say, in case somebody hasn't seen it yet and doesn't want spoilers, but sufficient to say I guess this story diverges from the real story at the point where Kishimoto skips a couple years.

They left by the Western gate and started moving towards the nearest village to Konoha, only a few kilometers away. Still, it would take them some time, because Naruto, in the guise of a simple non-ninja girl, couldn't move at his normal speed and minced his way down the road instead. Akira offered to carry him the whole way and it was only with a lot of kicking and flailing that Naruto managed to convince him it was a bad idea. From a conservative distance, Team Seven followed, Sakura still annoyed, Kakashi still amused, and Sasuke continuing to show absolutely no interest whatsoever.

It was very late before they reached Nchoubo village. They reached an inn, and Naruto was relieved when the landlady there gave the pair of them a very dirty look and then insisted that, in her 'properly run' establishment, males and females who were not married slept separately.

In the morning, Akira was burning with an excitement that was even weirder than usual. He spoke to Naruto in bursts while they ate breakfast in the inn's kitchen, beginning with his own life history and then generally moving towards more recent topics. It seemed a lot of girls had wronged Akira in the past. Though each one had hurt him indescribably, all the bad experiences hadn't caused him to give up hope that, somewhere, his perfect woman was waiting for him. Now, it seemed, everything in his life was finally coming together.

"So… uh… Akira-san,"

"'Akira' is just fine," the man murmured, touching Naruto's arm lightly. Naruto avoided shuddering. How on earth did Akira get such nasty gray skin, anyway?

"Ok," he said, priding himself on his self-control (how many people would have guessed that he could have been well-behaved for so long? He wondered. He hadn't even tried to kill Akira when the man had touched his boob.) "Then.. .Akira… uh… where are we going, anyway?"

"Nowhere, for now," Akira said, his mouth full of scrambled egg. "We're just waiting."

"Oh." Naruto thought for a moment. "Who are we waiting for?"

"The boss."

"Oh? Who is the boss?"

Finally he managed to get Akira talking. "Have you ever heard of the village of Hidden Sound?"

"Yes…" Naruto said. "I know… they were Konoha's enemies. And the village was destroyed."

"No. That's what people think," Akira grinned evilly.

Not think, moron, Naruto thought. I know. He had been there, and he had seen the village razed, the fire fueled by Sasuke's fire jutsu and by the chakra that had rolled off of Naruto, at that time, from the Kyuubi. The fight in which they had defeated Orochimaru had laid waste to all the land around them for several kilometers.

"The original village was destroyed." Akira said, "And Orochimaru, our great leader, was killed, although we still don't know exactly what happened. But the new leader managed to live, and he has gathered the survivors around him… we are now building a new Sound, that will be even greater than the last. And we have a secret weapon."

"Oooh, a secret weapon," said 'Kumiko', cooing. "That sounds so cool."

"Yeah, it will be. The Leader sent me to Konoha to gather information about the state of their defenses, and about certain ninjas there. I was the only one he could trust the mission too." He looked at Kumiko, obviously expecting a response.

"Oh," said Naruto, dutifully. "Wow! You're awesome!"

"Well… not really…" Akira grinned sheepishly.

Then why did you want me to say so, moron! Inner Naruto shouted.

"Anyway, I'm supposed to meet the leader here. He's been off doing some really important secret mission. Then we will head back to the New Sound."

Naruto nodded as if all this sounded just wonderful to him. Inwardly, he wondered: just how much of a threat was this new Sound, to Konoha, anyway? Hadn't Orochimaru been the only real threat? But, Tsunade had said they needed information, and surely the identity of the new Leader, and the location of the new village, would be important. If they made it to the New Sound, he could even gauge the strength of their forces, and see how dangerous they really were.

He wondered where the rest of team seven was. Doubtless they had found a room in some other inn, and were watching him now, from a safe distance. He wondered if they could hear his conversation with Akira now, or whether they would arrange a meeting so that he could tell them what had passed. He ought to think of some excuse to go of by himself, so that they would have a chance to contact him.

A hooded man entered the bar. When Akira saw him, he straightened, and bowed his head, very slightly. With a smooth movement, the man came and sat down beside him. Naruto could not see his face.

"What's this, Akira?" The voice asked. It sounded vaguely familiar… no, very familiar, Naruto thought. No, it was definitely… "A new toy?"

Akira sounded defensive. "This is Kumiko. Not a toy. She's my woman."

The man laughed, coldly. "You always say that. And, then, sooner or later," he drew his hand across his throat, "you change your mind. "

"Don't listen to him, Kumiko," Akira said. "Those other girls were sluts. You'll never betray me."

"Oh, no." said Naruto, his mind still reeling. He wasn't even thinking about Akira's Bluebeard streak just then. Kabuto, he thought. Definitely Kabuto.

"I think," Kabuto said, lazily, that we have business to discuss now. Kumiko-chan, was it? Could you please excuse us?"

"Oh, Akira," Naruto whined. "Can't I stay? I'm part of Hidden Sound now too, aren't I?"

He felt, rather than saw, the quick look Kabuto gave him. Akira shook his head, curtly. "No, Kumiko. This is men's business."

"Oh… ok…" Naruto said. "Well, I'll go shopping." A little nervous that he had misplayed his hand, he stood up shakily.

"Aren't you forgetting something" Akira said.

"What?"

"Kiss me goodbye?"

His 'Kumiko' façade might have slipped for just a moment. "What?" Quickly he covered. "But… umm… in public and everything?"

"It's fine," Akira growled, taking Naruto's arm and pulling him forward.

Blech, Naruto thought. I never realized that Kunoichis who go on seduction missions have it so tough. Quickly he pecked Akira on his green-gray, scalely cheek.

"Ok," said Akira, happily. "See you later."

"Yeah," said Kumiko. God, I hope not, thought Naruto.

As he walked through the busy market of Nchoubo, looking for a fresh outfit to change into, he felt a soft touch on his arm as Sakura fell into step beside him.

"This one is cute," she said, tugging on a soft green dress with ruffles around the collar and hem.

Naruto considered. "Dontcha think it looks a little like a Christmas tree?" As the two girls apparently browsed the racks, he filled her in on all the details.

"Kabuto!" Sakura said, with surprise. "I thought he was dead!"

"He fought with Shikamaru's team during the raid on Sound. Apparently he managed to escape, badly wounded. Shika always said he might have survived.

Sakura's brow furrowed. "Are they really a threat?"

"Go and ask Kakashi what we should do. For now, I'm gonna assume we should keep going. We should find out what 'secret weapon' Akira was talking about."

Sakura nodded. What both of them were thinking, but neither wanted to say, was that Konoha was weak right now. The war with Sound had been a drain on their resources, and Tsunade was struggling to keep Konoha's standing among the other nin villages. They were in a business of cutthroat competition, and any little piece of information about their enemies could become essential.

Naruto looked down the street, and saw Sasuke and Kakashi, apparently looking at books in an outdoor stall. Sasuke glanced at him, briefly, and then looked away, as if he didn't even recognize Naruto. Naruto and Sakura ignored the two men as well.

"Hey, Sakura," Naruto said, suddenly distracted by something. "Doesn't Sasuke look somehow… different… to you recently?"

Sakura was surprised. "No, I don't think so," she said. "Why?"

"I dunno… it's just… since the other day… I feel like… he's gotten really pretty."

Sakura chocked. "What did you say?"

Naruto scowled. "Don't tell him or Kakashi, though… I'd never hear the end of it."

Sakura made a show of looking at a pair of pink pants, while trying to think of what to say.

"Naruto… when you say, 'lately' do you mean, since you became a girl?"

Naruto frowned, trying to remember. "Yeah, I think so. The other day, when I woke up, he was sleeping on the couch, and I sort of thought… he looked… weird. Like a girl."

She frowned. "Like a girl?"

"Well, yeah."

"What do you mean, like a girl?"

Naruto considered. "Hm… sort of… like, you might wanna protect him, or…"

Something clicked in Sakura's head. She started to giggle. "Sasuke's good-looking, isn't he?"

Naruto scowled. "He's a Nancy boy."

"Yeah… whatever. He's pretty enough that your temporary female hormones are reacting to it. Don't worry." Her giggling had progressed to laughter, and she was now shaking, almost doubled-over, on the street. Over by the book stall, Sasuke and Kakashi were watching the two girls covertly, wondering what was going on. "Hey, Naruto, did you ever think that all the girls act totally crazy around Sasuke?"

"Yeah." Naruto said. You too, he thought.

"Well, now you know why. It's a physiological response. Even if you don't really like Sasuke, if your hormones start doing backflips every time he's in the same room, you can't really help it."

"Oh," said Naruto. "That makes sense. It's not that bad, though."

Sakura wiped the tears from her eyes. "I kind of like this," she said. "Now you can see where we've been coming from."

Wow, Naruto thought. Sakura's scary.

They split up. Naruto returned to Akira's hotel with a selection of cute outfits that were absolutely inappropriate for any kind of ninja running, jumping, or fighting, but which Sakura judged as fitting Kumiko's image. Sakura returned to the (decidedly less nice hotel, after all, Konoha was on a budget) hotel that she, Kakashi, and Sasuke were sharing.

"Sakura, what had you laughing so hard in the market today?" Kakashi asked.

Briefly, Sakura considered the promise that she had made to Naruto not to tell, but the story was just too rich. "Listen to this," she said, "this is hilarious."

Sasuke, who had been on watch, came in halfway through her story, to tell Sakura that it was her turn to take over. He distinctly heard Sakura say, "apparently, Sasuke's so good-looking that even fake girls start getting confused."

Slamming the door just loudly enough to get her attention, Sasuke stalked into the room. Sakura and Kakashi looked at him with surprise. Sakura shivered. Sasuke had definitely overheard her, and was not amused. He was giving off death-rays as serious as the ones he had emitted during his time in Sound.

"Ma, Sasuke-kun," she said, trying to diffuse the situation… of course he would be pissed off, he hates hearing about how pretty he is…

"Your watch," Sasuke said.

They set out the next morning. This time, Naruto had to give in to be carried by Akira – Kabuto was absolutely insistent that they move fast. They really were moving fast – going about twice the pace a normal human could have traveled, though a bit slower than Naruto could have managed at top speed. They were heading into a part of the country he didn't know well, an area where the soil was poor and where, as a result, there were few villages, on the border with the water country.

It was late in the afternoon of the third day of travel that they suddenly stepped out of the forest, and onto a plane with only small and stunted trees. The land was becoming very flat. Naruto realized with a start that it would be the very worst kind of terrain for team 7 to follow on, because, with the flat horizon and little cover, one could literally see for kilometers. Of course they would manage, but it meant that they would have to stay further away, and take more risks, than they would in a forest. The forest was, after all, a Konoha nin's natural habitat. It was where they functioned best.

He didn't know that, when team seven had reached the edge of the forest, Kakashi had made a surprising decision.

"Sasuke," he said. "Follow them. Sakura and I will remain here."

Sasuke nodded.

"What? Why?" Sakura asked.

"The terrain is bad… having a team of three is harder to hide, it puts Naruto at greater risk. Also, I think Sasuke knows this area." He leveled a stare at Sasuke. Unfazed, Sasuke shrugged.

"Also, Sasuke knows the Sound. From the reports you wrote when you returned to Konoha, I think that most of them never discovered that you betrayed Orochimaru. So, there may be the chance for you to infiltrate the survivors. If so, watch out for Naruto and try to gather your own information."

"I understand," said Sasuke.

"Also – Sasuke." It was always impossible to determine Kakashi's expression from behind his mask, but Sakura thought that his eyes looked serious. "This is a test, do you understand? By completing this mission, you can help to prove to the council of elders that they have reason to trust you."

And by giving this mission to you, I am testing you.

Sasuke nodded, picked up his pack, and headed out into the wasteland. Within a few steps, Sakura could no longer see him. A few meters more, and he was lost to Kakashi as well. He's good, Kakashi thought. He felt both proud, and a little depressed, at the thought.