Thanx to everyone who reviewed last chapter, I deeply appreciate it! I think I'm more than half way done with this story! Yay!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Despite his best efforts, though, Sasuke found he couldn't sweet-talk Naruto back into bed. Or even into just hanging out alone together. Because of Sakura's meddling, the blonde had gotten into his cute, thick little head that they shouldn't be together, and Naruto had – everybody knew this – a will of iron, once his decision was made.
The day after they had had sex – aside from his little aside to Sakura – both had pretended everything was normal. Sasuke had – irrationally, he thought – hoped that, somehow, people would be able to tell that something had changed between the two of them – as if people would be able to sense that they had been together – but, surprisingly, Naruto played it so cool that even Kakashi seemed oblivious. They had broken to go home in the afternoon, and Sasuke had made to follow Naruto. Naruto had let them get halfway to his house, putting space between them and the other members of team seven, before stopping and turning, hands on hips.
He looks hot like that, had been Sasuke's first thought, watching Naruto's slight, girly figure trying to imitate fierce body language. Girls have a hard time, he thought, idly. Even when they're trying to show that they're angry, it ends up being seen as cute or sexy.
"Where are you going?" Naruto stated, plainly.
Sasuke shrugged, and Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Your house is that way." He pointed.
Sasuke felt, later on, that he should have swallowed his pride, but at the time it had been easier to snap at Naruto. "Fine, I'll go home!"
"Good." Said Naruto. He waited until Sasuke's back disappeared down the street, towards the Uchiha quarter, before continuing on himself. Instead of going to his apartment, though, he found himself going to Iruka's instead.
The teacher was surprised to see the boy on his doorstep, for no particular reason. It occurred to him, for an embarrassing moment, that his neighbors would not know that Naruto was really a boy and would think that Iruka was being visited by a female student, well into the evening.
"Come in, come in," he said, hurriedly.
"Thanks," Naruto said. "Iruka-sensei, can I sleep here for a night or two?"
"Sure… but why?"
Naruto shrugged. Iruka knew to interpret as Naruto not wanting to say. "No particular reason."
It was just a precaution, really. So that if Sasuke showed up at his apartment, late in the evening, no one would be home.
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There were no big missions in the works, at the moment, and so team seven was in their peacetime routine of meeting by the bridge every morning, hearing what small missions they had to do, and training or fooling around when there was none. Sakura was trying to make up with Sasuke over what she had mentally termed their 'misunderstanding' – as if by renaming the thing she could redefine it in actuality, as well. Sasuke would not forgive her, at least as long as Naruto was ignoring him. Naruto yipped at even the slightest amount of physical contact from Sasuke and spent most of his time with Sai, since Sakura seemed to be ignoring him. Kakashi tried to see the antics of his students amusing but mostly just found himself feeling tired. Damn, he thought. I'm getting too old for this.
"Let's pair off," he announced. "Sakura – Sai… Naruto and Sasuke."
"Who are you going to train with?" Sai asked.
"I read."
Naruto pouted. "Teach us some cool jutsu or something! What are you here for, anyway?"
Kakashi sighed. "At this point, Naruto-kun, I'm your leader because of tactical experience only. Do you think there are really any jutsus I've been holding back from you?"
"Yeah!" Naruto said, loudly.
Sakura nodded. "You've always kept a few things up your sleeve, sensei."
Kakashi grunted. "Ok, fine. To whoever wins from each pair, I will teach one super-cool jutsu. Now scram."
The two teams gave each other a bit of distance. Sakura and Sai were fairly evenly matched, since Sakura's training with Tsunade had been progressing rapidly – though it was also possible Sai was going just a tiny bit easy on her. Likewise, Kakashi figured that Naruto and Sasuke were more or less equal in strength. It was a little bit hard to tell, since Naruto tended not to pull out his best moves until he was in the middle of a real fight (some of his best moves still involved massive amounts of kyuubi-chakra, which he couldn't call upon safely in normal circumstances). Kakashi was also fairly certain that Sasuke had learned at least one or two tricks from Orochimaru that he was still continuing to keep hidden.
Naruto was still having issues with being stuck in girl form, though. Kakashi could tell that, as he watched the two spar – first of all, Naruto kept moving in a way that was out of sync with his center of gravity – the advantage of a kunoichi, if there was one, was speed and flexibility, but Naruto was a fighter who naturally depended on power, brute force, and massive amounts of stamina.
Oh, and something was going on between them, as well – those two. Kakashi remembered weeks ago when Naruto had shown up with hickeys. He had been certain those were from Sasuke. A little friendly rivalry getting confused by the long-term gender switch? Anyway, after that point, they had seemed to cool off, which he thought was for the best.
"Dobe," Sasuke said. "Let's use taijutsu only."
Naruto glared. "Why?"
He shrugged. "I need to practice."
"I'll kick yer ass."
"Yeah, whatever. No jutsus, ok?"
Naruto paused. "Kakashi promised to teach the winner a jutsu. I wanna go all out."
"What, because you know you can't beat me with just taijutsu?" Sasuke sneered. "You can't beat me regardless, so don't worry about it."
"Argh!" The blonde snorted, and rushed him. Just for the sake of precaution – it was Naruto, after all – Sasuke activated his sharingan, and then slid out of the way.
Naruto attacked again, Sasuke deflected. He made an easy punch towards Naruto's left side, which the boy blocked, and Sasuke used the opportunity to move in closer. He wanted this fight to end with him sitting on top of Naruto. Or with Naruto backed up against a tree. All he had to do was figure out how to move things along until they reached…
"Naruto!"
Sasuke almost cursed. Kakashi was calling to them. A genin – Konohamaru – was standing beside him. "Tsunade-sama is calling for you," the genin said. "She's got some idea about reversing your jutsu. She said for you to come immediately."
Naruto whooped. "Great! Sasuke, did you hear that?"
"Great." Sasuke said, dryly.
"Let's go!" Naruto and Konohamaru headed off in the direction of the Hokage's office. Sasuke was left standing beside Kakashi. He was sweaty, unsatisfied, and trying desperately to compute what having Naruto back as a boy again was going to do to all his carefully laid plans and how much more time it might take too…"
"You looked worked up about something," Kakashi said, dryly.
Sasuke glared at him.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
"This should be easy," Tsunade said. "After I couldn't change you back before, I sent for scrolls from the Water Country – the nins there invented the technique in the first place – and one of the premier medical-nins there sent me all she could find on the subject. She was very interested in your case – I had to hint that you were a carrier of something, though of course I didn't tell her what – and she said our difficulties might have been related to the gender of the kyuubi." She twirled her pen around it one hand, which Naruto had learned to interpret as a sign of great interest on her part. She had ushered him into her office and closed the door hastily, saying that she thought it might be better for them to discuss events in private. "I looked at all the Konoha scrolls, and there's no evidence the Kyuubi even has a gender."
"It's a female," Naruto said. "Probably." Rudely, he propped his feet up on Tsunade's desk. It was a sign of Tsunade's excitement that she didn't bother to yell at him for this.
"Really?" Tsunade's pen stopped spinning and she jotted down a note. "Why do you say so?"
Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I have dreams, sometimes, about things like… the Kyuubi killing things and bringing them home for her kits to eat. Stuff like that."
"Hm." Tsunade wrote something else down. "So, what Shizuka – my collegue – told me, is that your body is essentially more 'at harmony' with the kyuubi's when your genders are aligned. Does that make sense?"
"Not really."
She sketched a quick diagram, and then turned her scroll to show it to him. "Imagine that your body is normally using… this much energy... to hold the Kyuubi in."
"Ok," Naruto said, dubiously.
"If you became a girl, it would only have to use… this much. Less. You see? By an order of magnitude."
"Ok."
"So, basically, it's less work for your body to be female. It's sort of… a more energy-efficient resting state. We didn't account for this before. In order to get you back to being a boy, we have to give you a boost of chakra – not the Kyuubi's, because this'll fight against you – like this – to get you over the hump. Like this." She drew a little arc connecting the 'lower energy' body resting state to the higher one. "Activation energy."
"Uh… Tsunade-baba…"
"Don't call me that, I'm going to help you."
"Fine." Naruto said. "Tsunade-sama, I have no idea what you're talking about."
She leaned over the desk, and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Just repeat after me… 'Tsunade-sama, you're a genius… take your shirt off."
"What?" Nervously, Naruto wrapped his arms around his chest.
"Don't be such a girl… " Tsunade teased.
Naruto growled, but obeyed. The seal that held in the kyuubi lightly ringed his belly button, and Tsunade traced it carefully with her finger. "Ok. The first thing is, to locate the exact center of the chakra in your body…" She paused. "This is rather odd."
"What?" Naruto said.
"Umm… there should be… two centers of chakra, essentially… not really centers, because the chakra is diffused throughout your body, like blood… but what you could call hearts. Two chakra hearts. Yours, and the Kyuubi's. The Kyuubi's is effectively caged within your own."
"Ok…"
"But in fact there are three. Two here," she pointed to Naruto's left breast "that is your own, and I can feel the kyuubi's, faintly, locked within it. There is also one… " her finger moved down, to a point below Naruto's belly. "Here."
"There?" Naruto looked blank.
"If you were a girl, I'd say…" Tsunade looked up at him, recognition dawning in her eyes. "But of course, you are a girl." She sat back down in her chair, and almost laughed. "Naruto, have you been having sex?"
Naruto looked surprised. "Sex?"
"You know, like," she made a rude gesture. "With a boy, I mean."
It was amusing to watch his face turn white, and then, suddenly, beet red. "Why are you asking me that?"
"Just believe me, I need to know. In order to solve your problem."
Naruto looked at her, trying to judge her seriousness. Then he glanced away. "Maybe once." He said.
"Just once?"
"Ok, fine! Twice! But that was it, just that time, I swear!"
Tsunade tried to keep her face straight. No point in upsetting Naruto by giggling. She began slipping into her 'doctor voice', which usually worked well when trying to get people to admit to embarrassing information. "So that would be… twice, in one night?"
"Yeah."
"Ok. When was that?
"About…" Naruto wrinked his nose, trying to remember. "A month ago. A while after we returned from Sound."
"Say six weeks, then. Right… Naruto, for the important part – who were having sex with?"
Naruto gave her a dirty look. "Do you really need to know this in order to change me back into a guy?"
Tsunade nodded solemnly. "I promise."
"All right… fine, then…" he muttered. His voice fell to a whisper. "with ..."
"Sorry, Tsunade said, helpfully. "I didn't quite get that. Can you speak a little louder?"
"With Sasuke." Naruto blurted. "Geez."
"Ok," Tsunade said, trying not to sound surprised. Though she guessed Sasuke made more sense than... any of the other possible candidates she might think of. All the while she had been talking she had continued lightly touching his abdomen, checking vital signs and chakra signals as best she could. Now she stood up. "You need to give me a blood sample and a urine sample."
"What?" Naruto said. "Why?"
She
rolled her eyes. "You haven't figured it our yet?"
"You're
turning me back into a guy, right?"
"Right." Tsunade nodded reassuringly. "I'm turning you back into a guy."
"Great!" Naruto punched the air with his fist.
"We can go through with the jutsu in about… a year? Or a year and a half."
"A year and a half?" Naruto goggled at her. 'Why the hell do we have to wait that long?"
Tsunade smiled. "Nine months. Then, if you want to breastfeed… which I recommend, for as long as you are willing… many kunoichis don't like too, of course… we can change you back after that."
Naruto was looking at her as if she was on crack. Tsunade sighed. She had been hoping to get a big reaction out of him, but this approach seemed to have gone right over his head.
"Congratulations, Naruto," she said. "You're pregnant."
She waited. And waited. Checked her watch. Waited a tiny bit more.
"I'm WHAT?"
She smiled. "You and Sasuke are going to be parents."
There was another long pause.
"This means I can't be a guy again?"
Sometimes that boy was just so thick…
Tsunade sent Naruto to get samples taken, and then she asked Konohamaru to go and find Kakashi. "Tell him, 'no games'," she said, rubbing her brow.
Thankfully, the copy-nin had appeared in front of her within fifteen minutes. She looked at him balefully.
"Hatake Kakashi?"
He looked a little worried, she thought, though it was hard to tell with that mask. Serves him right, she thought, meanly.
"This is on a need-to-know basis."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Your student is pregnant."
Kakashi stood for a long moment. Got him, Tsunade thought. "Sakura?"
"Try another student."
"Naruto." He said, weakly.
"Bingo. I told him he needed to let people know – at his own pace… but he seems a little shell-shocked at the moment. So I want you to take him home."
Kakashi nodded, stiffly. Nothing to get the cool guy flustered, Tsunade thought, then forcing him to deal with female anatomy. Well, in this case, it was really justified…
"Normally, I expect my team leaders be to aware of what's going on within their group, but I couldn't really expect anyone to see this coming. Maybe send him to Iruka's for a few days. I hear he stays there now and then."
Kakashi nodded, and, with Tsunade's dismissal, disappeared.
Kakashi met Naruto as he left the hospital examining room. Naruto took one look at his sensei's face – and, even half-masked, he could tell.
"She told you, didn't she?"
Wordless, Kakashi nodded.
"Oh man," Naruto grumbled. "This sucks."
Outside the hospital, Sakura, Sasuke, and Sai were waiting. Sai had even painted a big, sign (Congratulations on being a GUY again! – which was the corrected version, since what he had originally written was 'Congratulations on getting your DICK back!,', but Sakura had made him change it).
"Wait," said Sai. "You're still a girl."
"Tell me about it," Grumbled Naruto. Maybe I can go away for a while, he thought to himself. Go away for a long trip. And when I come back, I can pretend I found the baby among the bulrushes and… oh crap.
"I'm taking Naruto to Iruka's school," Kakashi announced. "Training is over for the day. Understood?"
"Yes…"
Kakashi paused. "Sasuke, why don't you accompany us?"
Before Sasuke could answer, Naruto broke in. "No, that' s really.. uh… fine, Kakashi-sensei."
They walked towards the school in silence, and then waited by the schoolyard for Iruka to finish his afternoon classes.
"May I take it," Kakashi asked, "that you and Sasuke aren't on very good terms at the moment?"
"We kind of…had a falling out."
"Ah. Oh, look, there's Iruka!" Kakashi waved, and Iruka came jogging over. "Kakashi-sensei, Naruto, how are you?"
Kakashi looked stiff. "Iruka-sensei, this mission has been entrusted to you by the Hokage. Naruto has managed to get him.. er.. herself pregnant. Please look after her for a few days."
"I'm sorry, what?" Asked Iruka, very politely.
"You heard me," Kakashi said. "Naruto, as of now you are on medical leave." He looked wryly at Iruka. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need to buy a few materials for tomorrow's mission."
In a swirl of leaves, Kakashi disappeared. Iruka was left behind, staring at Naruto.
"Was he serious?" He finally asked.
Naruto shrugged. "I guess so. Tsunade-baba thinks I'm pregnant, though I'm not sure I believe her."
"Oh, Naruto…" Iruka sighed. "What were you thinking?"
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
The day after, Sakura, Sai, and Sasuke arrived at the bridge to be told curtly by Kakashi that Naruto was on medical leave.
"So for now it'll just be us four," Kakashi said, cheerfully. "Team S! Hmm.. since my name doesn't start with S maybe I'll have to let someone else take charge for a while… Saito? What Jounin do you know who have names starting with S?"
"That's ok," Sai informed him, cheerfully. "You can be an honorary S-team member."
"Why thank you," Kakashi beamed.
"Um… Sensei…"
"That's it! Sensei starts with S! So I guess I'm still ok… or…" His voice lowered conspiratorially, "You could always call me shisho…"
Sasuke cleared his throat, and finally Sakura got a chance to finish her thought. "Sensei, what about Naruto? Is he all right? Why is he on medical leave? Is it something to do with how he can't turn back into a guy?"
Kakashi looked at them all seriously. "Naruto's medical problem is of a personal nature, and I have been instructed by the Hokage that he should be the one to inform you about it, if and when he feels comfortable doing so. In the meanwhile, let's move on to today's lesson."
He pulled, from nowhere, a string of foil-wrapped condom packages, and a banana.
"Sasuke-kun," Kakashi said, sweetly. "Would you care to demonstrate?"
