Ok… first of all, thank you to all my wonderful, kind reviewers. I really appreciate it, and it definitely has motivated me to write a lot…(Ok, maybe having a paper for school I want to procrastinate on also helped.) I'm about half way through chapter 10 so hopefully I can get that out by the middle of the week.

I know some reviewers commented on how OOC people were getting… yeah, I know. I read my own writing and cringe. But it's really, really hard to make characters stay in character when (face it) they're doing things that wouldn't ever actually happen… (whine…) damn… anyway, I think it's only going to get worse (sorry). I figure it's better to put up a chapter that I'm dissatisfied with than to wait and not post until I've done a lot of editing and am perfectly happy with (this never happens).

So, here's chapter 9. Mostly filler.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Naruto was bored out of his mind. He couldn't help it. Three weeks since Tsunade diagnosed his pregnancy, and there was absolutely nothing to do, all day, that didn't involve chakra or practice or going on a mission.

Chakra was specifically out since, according to Tsunade, it might harm the baby. Or, "parasite number 2", as Naruto had taken to calling it. Parasite number 1 being the kyuubi. For all that the kyuubi was a demon, bent on destroying Konoha, and the baby was his own flesh and blood, he found himself preferring the fox just slightly. It, after all, lent him chakra, on occasion. The baby just took it away.

It was a sad fact that he really had very few hobbies or interests outside of his quest to become Konoha's next Hokage. Defeating Sasuke could be considered a hobby, but that was very far out of the picture at present, more so because the Uchiha had been unable to act normal around Naruto since hearing the news: he came around every day after his own missions were completed, and mostly tended to hover anxiously, attempt to induce Naruto to eat healthier food, and (whenever they were alone together) act romantic in a way that made Naruto vaguely queasy. He hadn't thought Sasuke had it in him to be express any emotions other than 'annoyed' or 'vindictive.' It would have been sweet, had the object of all that misplaced energy been some girl he had married instead of Konoha's number 1 surprising loud mouthed-ninja.

Asking Sakura out had been a hobby, sort of (even after she had gotten together with Lee he still did it every couple of days, out of tradition) but she seemed to be pretty weirded out by the whole thing, which Naruto couldn't exactly blame her for. A couple of days after breaking the news to Ino, TenTen, and the rest of the guys he had run into her on the street. She hadn't even been able to look him in the eyes: just stared at his gut while several emotions he couldn't even identify flashed across her face.

After that she had come to visit him, once every Friday. That she came on such a strict schedule made Naruto suspect that it was some sort of obligation she'd given herself. Each time, she had sat on the couch, drinking tea, and asked one or two questions about the pregnancy that were probably meant to seem casual but that came out sounding, even to Naruto's generally oblivious ears, terribly awkward.

He'd been sitting on top of the Fouth's head on Hokage mountain all morning, and while he did like the view, even that was starting to get old.

I know! He thought. I'll go visit Tsunade baa-chan!

That was the best idea he'd had all morning. Leaping up, he prepared to run down the yondaime's forehead, before recalling belated that no chakra meant no way to anchor his feet to the vertical rock.

Grumbling, he made his way down the path, instead.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

When he reached the gate he told the anbu on duty that he needed to speak with her. Since Tsunade was currently acting as his personal physician that granted him instant access to the building right away.

It was a coincidence that no one was in the hallway leading to Tsunade's office. As he walked towards the door, he could hear their voices

"What is this anyway Shizune? Totally unacceptable…"

He heard Tsunade's assistant sigh.

"Well, it is Kakashi, after all. His reports are always totally illegible."

"Yes, but this latest one isn't even on the correct form – just the back of a cocktail napkin. And what's this about claiming expenses for the purchase of ten boxes of condoms? Why on earth would he think that was a justifiable 'training-related expense'? Yes – come in, Naruto."

Naruto flinched. He had been so busy eavesdropping that he had momentarily forgotten that, without masking his chakra (even masking required a little bit of power, which he wasn't supposed to use) Tsunade would obviously know he was thereSmiling sheepishly, he opened the door and stuck his head into the room.

"Sorry, baa-san. I can come back later, if you're busy."

"No, not at all." Tsunade smiled at him, though she looked tired. "What can I do for you?"

Naruto tried quickly to think of some excuse for being there. Oh yeah! He recalled. That thing from the other night.

"Baa-chan, listen to this! Last night I tried to take a beer from Iruka's fridge and Sasuke freaking attacked me! I mean, he like literally knocked the beer out of my hand! Isn't that rude! And then he tried to forbid me from drinking anything." He scowled. "He said it's bad for the baby. I told him it's totally not." He looked from Tsunade to her assistant, and back again, with big round baby-blue eyes. "You said no chakra, but nothing about booze, right?"

Tsunade looked at Naruto. Then she looked at Shizune. Then she looked back at Naruto again.

Shizune took a sheath of papers off the desk. "I'll just carry these to the accountant," she said.

"Thanks…" Tsunade said. Then she turned to Naruto. "Naruto, I specifically said…" she paused to reframe her words in a gentler tone of voice. "Naruto, I'm afraid Sasuke did exactly the right thing. You absolutely cannot drink any alcohol. Is that clear?"

"Yes…" Naruto said, obediently. After he had gotten into a big fight with Sasuke about the beer, Iruka had come home and given him a huge lecture on the dangers of alcohol, so he had pretty much realized his mistake already. It was just an excuse of something to talk about.

"Is that all?" Tsunade asked, patiently. "You aren't going to ask me if you can sniff glue while you're pregnant, are you? Or take crystal meth?"

"What's crystal..." Naruto began to ask, but the hokage cut him off.

"No, on second thought, better if you don't get ideas. Naruto, eat only healthy food. Drink plenty of water. Don't take any little pills except the ones I give you – those are vitamins. Are we clear?"

"Yes."

"Ok, then." She smiled at him, expectantly. Clearly waiting for him to go.

"Uh.." Naruto stalled. "Baa-chan, what are you doing?"

"Just paperwork, Naruto. Look Naruto, I'm sorry, but I'm really busy today, ok? If there's nothing important, can we talk a little later on?"

From the next room, Shizune said, "Excuse me, I just realized, I need your signature on these as well."

Tsunade got up, stretching as she did so. "I'll be right there…" she called. "Naruto, I'll talk to you tomorrow, how's that?"

Naruto nodded glumly. Then his eyes lit up, as he realized that Tsunade had left a stack of letters, in their envelopes but unsealed, sitting in her outbox. While Tsunade and Shizune chatted in the other room, he quickly removed a letter.

"Hatake Kakashi is hereby informed that that all his reports from November of last year to the present are inadequate and must be resubmitted before reimbursement requests will be considered."

Naruto quickly opened the next letter. The name on the envelope was for Iruka-sensei.

"Ajib village pre-school is short of staff for next week's school musical. Practice will be from 2 to 4 pm every day next week; your responsibility will be to help the children learn the songs, 'I'm a little teapot', and 'Gray squirrel, swish your bushy tail'. Please note that on Saturday you will be required to arrive at 6 am to help with set-up. This will be a D-rank mission."

The third was for labeled 'all medical trainees".

"Please complete a report, to be due to the Hokage's office this Friday, on your choice of the following topics: reproductive and sexual health among Konoha kunoichi; high STD prevalence rates among anbu with long-term assignments in the capital; or what procedures you would recommend to prevent mother-to-child transmission of Hepatitis B for implementation in the Konoha hosital"

The last envelope in the stack bore the simple scrawl "For Jiraya"

Naruto peeked inside.

"Listen, you old pervert, and don't give me any of your excuses this time. I got complaints from some of the mothers in the village about that nasty little book of yours. I don't want to here anymore about you doing some kind of kinky 'research' in the women's baths. If I so much as see a copy of that thing in your hands, I'll throw you out of the village."

Each of the letters had already been signed with Tsunade's sprawling signature, waiting for Shizune's final check-over before they were send out.

The two women were still talking in the other room, but it looked like they might be about to wind up whatever they were talking about. Casually Naruto gathered up the four letters, and sauntered to the office down the hall from Tsunade's. From all the time he had spent visiting her – and the former hokage – he knew that there was a typewriter in there that almost no one ever used.

Humming to himself, he sat down beside the desk and inserted Kakashi's reprimand into the machine. It was one of those fancy electronic ones with an automatic white-out function.

He erased Kakashi's name from the heading, and then paused, leaning back in his chair. Whose name should he replace it with? Well, either Gai-sensei or Lee might be pretty funny, since both of them were known for writing long, elaborate reports that tended to take up pages at a time. It was a little mean – but he was sure they'd catch on before they put too much work into it. With a flourish, he typed "Maito Gai" into the empty space at the top of the page.

Then he looked at the next one. Who should he send to Ajib, to dance with the midgets? Sasuke was tempting… if the boy really wanted an heir that much, he should at least get a taste of what he was in for, first. But Naruto knew from other D-ranked missions that Sasuke could be pretty good with kids, when he needed to be. No, the person who would get properly flustered by such a thing would be...

Neji!

That prank with the sexy-no-jutsu had never gone to completion, after all. And Neji hated children. Looking around the office, he found an empty envelope, and typed Neji's name on the front.

Then for the report about STDs… Naruto shrugged. Sai would be good. He prepared a second envelope.

The crazy book letter could only be sent to Kakashi.

Pervert Sennin really did need to get his mind out of the gutter, but Naruto suspected that Tsunade sent him about five of those pissed-off messages a week and never got anywhere. That was because pervert-sennin was the only one who didn't have to worry about the full extent of Tsunade's anger. When she was upset enough, anyone else would snap to attention.

He used the erase function of the typewriter to change 'doing some kind of kinky research in the women's baths" to "reading while you should be guiding your wonderful students." It might even be enough, Naruto speculated, to get Kakashi to put down his stupid novel for a while. Then he slipped the letter in the envelope originally intended for the first letter, and sealed everything.

A job well done! He wiped his hands with a flourish. As he left the building, he handed them to the on-duty anbu.

"The hokage asked me to give you these, she says she needs them sent out by the end of the day."

The anbu grunted in acceptance, and Naruto waved, cheerfully goodbye. It wasn't turning out to be such a bad day after all.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Far, far away, on an island that ostensibly belonged to the Water country but was really its own separate nation, a goose arrived. It flapped it's wings slowly – after flying for days straight, it had barely managed to cross the water without drowning – but the controlling curse burnt into the back of it's neck was exerting such a strong force that it had been unable to stop even for rest.

A fisherman's wife, knotting her husband's net on the shore as she waited for the boats to come in, noticed the bird and felt a wash of pleasure: it was a mainland species, that was hardly over seen over the isles at that time of year, and it's presence was a harbinger of good things to come: a mild season in which the catch would be good.

Perhaps she would have felt differently if she could have felt the bird's bone-deep weariness. As it was, she followed the flight of the animal until it disappeared into the trees to the north of the island – in the direction of the shack where the monk had taken up residence a year before, living simply in order to atone for some sin of a prior life. Folks were already whispering that the monk was powerful and perhaps dangerous. However, when the fisherman's wife saw his face, almost as smooth and handsome as a young boy's, she was inclined to think that he couldn't really be so bad. Maybe, like so many of the mainlanders who found their way to the isle, he was just looking for a little peace.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

After Itachi took the message which had been tied to the bird's scrawny leg, he broke the animal's neck cleanly, and set to preparing a pot of boiling water in order to remove the feathers from the animal. Sending a goose was his old subordinate's idea of a joke, he supposed, or an attempt to please Itachi, as such species were considered rather a delicacy in the Fire Country from which the bird had originated.

Removing the blindfold he usually wore revealed something startling: a cross-hatching of scars, both vertical and horizontal, across each eye; and a pair of bright green eyes, in startling contrast to the color of his skin and hair. One might almost have thought that they belonged to a different person.

He read the message as he ate, turning its contents over in his mind. Had he known the jinnchuuriki could conceive, his plan for the boy might have been different, long ago. Jinchuuriki were often said to give birth to unusually powerful children, a fact that somehow related to the presence of the strong demon youkai near which the baby was incubated. However, the vast majority of jinchuuriki, male and female alike, were sterile.

The second part of the message was even more interesting: the identity of the father.

If his spy had sent him this information, it must have been sold to other spies as well. He found it rather amusing that Konoha – it was, after all, a secret ninja village – couldn't keep such valuable data from reaching the ears of every S-class criminal within a thousand miles. More so when one considered the vast number of pregnancies for whom there was no accurate way in which to determine paternity.

It was almost as if… someone had leaked the information. Someone wanted everyone to know what was going on in Konoha.

That gave Itachi pause for thought. Ninjas could play games within games. It was all very well to hear that there was the expectation of an addition to his extended family, but he didn't want to be inadvertently manipulated by the information. He would give himself time before deciding what to do.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"Naruto, what are you doing here?" Sai said in surprise. It was morning, and he was on his way to the bridge where team 7 gathered to train. He hadn't expected Naruto to join them.

Awkwardly, Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "just thought I'd see what was going on…"

Sai nodded briefly in response. "Let's go together then, shall we?"

He still didn't know what to make, exactly, of Naruto's pregnancy. Well, he was only about two months pregnant, so he wasn't even showing yet. At the moment, though, even Sai, with his limited powers of emotional observation, could tell that Naruto was bored. He had heard about the no-chakra rule, as well as the no-intense-training rule. Sai sighed. If it had been him, he would have spent his time painting. But of course Naruto had no interest in that kind of thing.

They reached the training ground where Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi were already at work. When they saw Naruto coming, Sasuke opened his mouth, but Sai stopped him.

"Naruto said he'd come and watch," he said, cheerfully. "You and I are sparring today, Sasuke-kun, so you'd better be tough if you don't want me to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend…. OW!" Naruto had moved fast, to hit Sai so quickly that he hadn't even felt it coming. "What was that for?"

"I'm not his girlfriend, you asshole." Naruto growled.

Sakura hurried to grab Naruto's arm. "Of course not, Naruto…" she said, placatingly. "You know how Sai is…"

"How?" Asked Sai.

"Quiet!" She barked. "Naruto, why don't you sit under that tree… with Kakashi… I'm working solo today, so…"

Naruto hrmphed meaningfully, but let himself be lead over to the tree where Kakashi was sitting. He then noticed that the Copy-Nin's hands were for once empty. Naruto chuckled. Maybe his little prank was already working out.
"Hey, Kakashi-sensei," he said, settling down. "Where's your book?"

Kakashi glanced at him. Hard to tell with the mask, but he thought the sensei's one eye looked a little bit bloodshot. "I finished it," he said, shortly. "Waiting for the next one to come out."

"Oh? Because, ano saa, I bet I could get Jiraya-pervert to send me the pre-release of the latest copy, if you really want to…"

"Ah, no thanks," Kakashi said, faintly. Naruto saw that his hands twitched slightly – as if they were itching to hold onto something. "It doesn't seem as… interesting as it used to…"

Sakura and Sai, who had still been listening to their conversation, looked at Kakashi in amazement. "Hey, Sasuke, did you hear that?" Sai began. "Kakashi says that he's no longer interested in…"

"It's not such a big deal!" Sakura interrupted. "Gee, Kakashi-sensei, that's great! You've finally decided to broaden your mind! Listen, I have some great manga I'll bring you tomorrow, ok?"

Kakashi, however, was too lost in his painful state of loss to even notice what was being said. He nodded, once, distractedly, and Sakura took that as a yes.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Naruto dozed under the tree. From the distance he could hear the sounds of Sasuke and Sai's sparring, and in the other direction Sakura was pounding massive holes into rocks and trees. It was, he decided, rather peaceful.

The next time he awoke, it was just in time to hear Sai ask, "Hey, Sakura, how old were you when you lost your virginity?"

Naruto perked up immediately. He wasn't disappointed. "Sai," Sakura answered, in the sweetest, deadliest voice imaginable, "Asking girls questions like that is considered inappropriate. You might embarrass them."

"Oh." Said Sai. He jotted something down in a small notebook. "Well, in that case, can you tell me how many different sexual partners you've had? And approximately what percentage of the time you use contraception?"

The fist landed squarely in his face, and the pink-haired woman marched away. Clenching her teeth, she sat down next to Naruto.

"Why on Earth is he asking such stupid questions?" She demanded of Naruto. "You'd think that he knew better by now!"
Naruto tried to look helpful. "Maybe he's interested in someone," he said, "and is trying to gain information about how to approach her."

"Oh!" Sakura clapped her hands together. "That must be it! Naruto, you're a genius!" She stopped. "But, oh, no, if he doesn't stop asking those rude questions he'll definitely be rejected. I've got to help him."

The blonde-haired ninja watched as his teammate stood up and returned to where Sai was standing. "Ok, who is it?" She asked.

"Who is who?" He said, politely.

"Nevermind," Sakura shook her head. "I understand if you're shy. Ok, listen, you can't ask those kind of questions, ok?"

"Alright,' Sai said. "Then how am I supposed to get the information I need?"

"What information?"

He handed over a piece of paper. Naruto watched as Sakura read closely. "This doesn't seem right…" he heard her say…

xoxoxoxoxoxo

And then he was off. The Ajip nursery school was only a few miles from the training grounds, and he enjoyed his early afternoon stroll through the forest. He enjoyed it even more when he came upon Neji, dancing in a circle with seven five-year olds, trying to get them to work out all the movements to their dance practice in sync.

"There you are," came a voice from behind him.

"Sasuke," Naruto replied. "What's up?"

Sasuke looked at Neji for a moment and then smirked. "Sakura took Sai's letter to Tsunade and it seems someone may have switched the envelopes. You don't know anything about that, do you?"

"Not a clue," Naruto said, cheerfully.

"And Neji playing Ring-Around-The-Rosy over there wouldn't be in any way related, would it?"

"I don't think so."

"Ah."

Just then, Naruto's belly rumbled.

"You didn't skip lunch, did you?"

"Oh, I was a little sick this morning," Naruto grumbled. "Usually when that happens not eating for a while makes me feel better."

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something, then shut it abruptly.

"What?" Naruto said.

"Nothing. Let's go back."

"Oh?" Naruto looked back towards Neji. "You aren't going to do anything about that?"
Sasuke shrugged. "You didn't send any more letters astray, did you?"

Naruto scratched his head. "Not that I can remember."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Tsunade rubbed her temples. It had been pretty funny when Neji had stormed in, slamming down a report on her desk that detailed his teaching activities, and then practically begged never to be sent 'into that lion's den' – as he refered to the preschool – again.

It had even been funny when she had found Kakashi walking around with his nose buried in a copy of "You Can Do It! – Girl Dynamo Ikari-chan!" instead of his usual Icha-Icha paradise.

But it had not been funny when Maito Guy had crawled into her office with rings under his eyes, clearly not having slept at all for a week in an attempt to get ALL of his recent reports rewritten – so tired out and almost physically unwell as a result that she had to remove him from the mission she had intended to assign him too. She had sent Shikamaru instead, and that had thrown off her whole schedule… that then resulted in sending Konohamaru's team on their first A-ranked mission… that they really hadn't been fully prepared for…

Luckily they had succeeded with flying colors, but the pounding she had felt in her chest as she waited for them to return was still with her, and she flew into a rage when she looked out of her office window to see Naruto cheerfully whistling as he strolled towards Ichiraku's ramen.

"NaruuuTOOO!"

He flinched as he saw her coming, and then turned around to meet her with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Whatever it is, Baa-chan, I didn't do it this time, I swear! I was just…"

"Naruto." She said. "Tomorrow. Eight a.m. Be in my office."

She started him on filing (though only on filing very unimportant things, because it soon became clear that he could lose anything)- and Shizune gave him photocopying to do, and other small jobs. He didn't complain much about this, which Tsunade guessed was because he had been bored out of his mind and was truly grateful just to be kept busy.

She felt a little bad for him about the whole Hokage thing.

He was getting strong – had been getting strong, because, crap, the only person who could beat him these days was Sasuke, and even that was an even fight – or even weighted ever-so-slightly in Naruto's favor. The time had been coming, she had thought, when she might truly hand over the Hokage job to him: because the premier qualification to be Hokage was, in addition to being sworn to protect the village, that you be the strongest. And Naruto was probably even stronger than her. He was crap at paperwork, to be sure – but that was what good assistants were for.

But now – a fucked-up jutsu, and a pregnancy – meant Naruto was out of the running for 7 more months at least, and then recovery-time and taking-care-of-the-baby time – that could easily add up to several years of decreased training, which to a ninja at the top of his form was devastating.

There was a reason that very few kunoichi became Hokage, and that those who did – like Tsunade – very rarely had children.

This might truly be the end of Naruto's dream.

Tsunade smiled, though. Watching Naruto dart around the office brought a new energy to the place: even the Anbu couldn't help from smiling, from time to time, at his zeal. Even if he couldn't make Hokage, he would continue to be an immeasurable asset to Konoha – just by his will, he was able to bring about such great change.

Before all this had happened she had been thinking of stepping down, knowing that, in the end, Naruto would be the most likely candidate to replace her, and that she would give her recommendation for him to do so. Now, though, she was thinking of holding off on that for a few more years: three or four, maybe, or even a little more. She could hold on that long, and that would give Naruto time to have the baby, recover, and then begin to build his strength back up.

It was a little unfair to the other candidates for the position – she knew that some elders looked favorably on Sasuke, for instance, and some on Shikamaru. However, both these boys were unfailingly loyal to Naruto, and that reinforced his legitimacy. She was unfailingly loyal to Naruto too.