A/N: I apologize for the long delay on this one! This is the longest chapter to date, and also the most difficult for me to write, but it was one that I've been looking forward to doing when I first decided to write this story. Thank you for being patient, and please tell me what you think! Also, I noticed my formatting was a little off in some places when I uploaded it -sorry if I didn't catch them all!

"Lucius, it's time go!" Narcissa called, opening the doors to her husband's study. "Are you still coming with me?"

Lucius took a deep breath when he heard her voice. He had been deep in thought, mulling over matters that concerned the both of them, yet matters he preferred not to share, and he couldn't allow her to know. The man shut his eyes briefly, and forced himself to quickly remove them from his mind, both to keep Narcissa happy and himself content to wait until he could be alone with his thoughts once more. He set down his quill slowly, as if it's touching the desk beneath would solidify their banishment, and turned to look at her as she entered. "Of course. I was merely waiting for you to give the word." He gave her a pleasant smile and donned the traveling cloak he'd left draped over the arm of his large chair, and followed her out.

They proceeded to the sitting room where the large fireplace had been lit to chase the early January cold from the area, its flame now beginning to dwindle and die down. Narcissa took a pinch of glittery powder from a small container atop the mantle, and threw it into the flame. With a whooshthe fire shot up and immediately turned a brilliant emerald green.

"Oh, don't give me that look," Narcissa said with a touch of frivolity as she looked towards her husband, knowing very well his distaste for Floo travel. "The Floo Network isn't my favorite means of transport either, but I know I won't be allowed to Apparate for much longer, and I might as well get used to it while I can."

"No, no," he said with a short sigh, much more willing to comply than argue. "I know it's the best way for you and our child both. In fact, why don't you let me go first? That way I'll be there to help you, should you need it..." Though it was difficult for him, with her hormones and emotions in such flux, Lucius had made a particular effort in recent days to be accommodating to her. He wanted to deal with her moodiness as little as possible, and he knew her apparent lessened control over what she felt and how she reacted wasn't a pleasant experience for her either.

"By all means; thank you, Lucius..." Though a bit surprised at this particular offer, she stepped aside and allowed him to stand before the fireplace.

He cleared his throat and said loudly, "St. Mungo's!" and stepped into the green flames, disappearing nearly on contact with them. Narcissa tossed another pinch of the powder into the fire and did the same.

She stumbled a bit stepping out of the St. Mungo's fireplace, and steadied herself with the assistance of Lucius's offered arm. She drew her wand, and with a swish, the soot and dust vanished from her husband's clothes, and another wave removed the grime from hers as well.

"Better?"

"Much."

Their eyes met, and the pair shared a look of joyful, yet anxious expectation. It was Lucius's first time at St. Mungo's for such a purpose, and, though he didn't quite know what to expect, just being there at the hospital with Narcissa helped to clear his head. It was almost too much for him to imagine that it would be this very place, if not the manor, that they would be rushing to in just eight or so short months for Narcissa to deliver their second child… As quickly as he was sure the time would pass, that particular event was still too far into the future for him to be thinking about for the time being.

When they boarded one of the many elevators to the sixth floor and she was alone with her husband, a small, involuntary smile came over Narcissa. "I'm glad you're here with me today, Lucius," she said softly.

He was a bit taken aback by this, Narcissa going against her pureblood upbringing and saying such things aloud in a place that was, however devoid of other people for the time being, still very public.

"Honestly, and I know I've told you before, but I can't imagine anything making me more pleased than you getting to experience all of this with me now. Being here, it… It just makes it seem more real than ever, I suppose."

"I…" She had read his thoughts exactly and Lucius hesitated a moment to respond, always preferring to take his time with something so heartfelt. Before he could, however, the short elevator ride had taken its course, and the doors opened. The moment they did, the Malfoys were no longer alone. It was time for them to become the proper purebloods they were once more. "Indeed," he said brusquely, and exited alongside her.

While Narcissa went to check in and give the hospital the proper amount of Galleons for the appointment, Lucius found seats for them in the waiting room amongst several other witches and the wizards that accompanied some of them. It was by no means difficult to notice both the stares and furtive glances the others gave him, and Narcissa as well when she joined him. Did they find it strange for him to be accompanying her, or was the stir caused by their public announcement and the speculative articles that followed simply not quite over yet? Either way, Lucius preferred for himself and Narcissa to be in with the Healer as quickly as possible.

Narcissa could sense his agitation at the others in the room, and had to resist the urge to reach out and touch him, to assure him that it was all okay. Though she certainly didn't appreciate the looks they received either, it was an easy task for her to ignore them and patiently wait for her name to be called. A much easier task, at least, for her than for her husband.

Lucius's impatience was soon alleviated, however, when a young assistant addressed the waiting room and announced that a Healer Avior was ready to see Mrs. Narcissa Malfoy.

They stood up together, and walked proudly after the assistant, Narcissa continuing to ignore the people around her and Lucius still wearing an expression of annoyed disdain for them.

"Right this way, please," the assistant said happily. Though certainly not accustomed to taking care of the closest thing to wizarding royalty currently alive, she spoke to Narcissa as she would to anyone else, something both Malfoys picked up on and appreciated. She led them into a brightly lit, pleasant-looking room, surely identical to every other that lined that particular corridor.

"Mrs. Malfoy, if we could get a measure of your height and weight, please…?"

"Certainly," Narcissa said politely, and the younger woman drew her wand and conjured a scale, which Narcissa obediently stepped upon, and then a tape measure which she unfurled next to her.

The assistant scribbled the measurements on the clipboard she carried. "Five feet, four inches, one hundred and twenty-two… Quite perfect." She offered Narcissa and Lucius both a look of approval and vanished the items she'd summoned, and proceeded to take Narcissa's heart rate and other necessary, pre-appointment vitals. "Going by this, Mrs. Malfoy, you're looking wonderful," she said. "I'm sure Healer Avior will be pleased to hear it. You can take a seat on the bed there, and she'll be in momentarily, all right?"

"Thank you," Narcissa said, doing as she suggested, and the girl left the room.

As soon as the door shut she looked over to Lucius, sitting in the chair nearest the bed. "It would seem we're off to a good start, no?"

"Very," he affirmed, pleased with the assistant's assessment of her. "And I ought to admit, I'm interested to meet this Healer. It's the same one that took care of you before, correct?"

Narcissa nodded, and Lucius continued, smirking. "I believe I owe her my thanks, then, at the least, for dealing with you and your bastard hormones when I wasn't around." The two laughed, both glad to find the slight bit of humor in that painful memory.

"Well, with any luck, those will be settling down here shortly."

"And that, my dear, will be as much a relief to me as it will be to you."

Just as Narcissa was about to lean back on the bed for a moment of relaxation before the Healer arrived, two knocks sounded at the door, and the knob twisted.

An older, grey-haired witch with glasses low across her nose appeared, and a grin lit up her face the moment she caught sight of her patient. "Mrs. Malfoy! How good it is to see you looking so well."

"Healer Avior, it's always nice to see you too."

"And—" She turned suddenly to the man seated in the chair near Narcissa, surprised. "Why, if it isn't Mr. Malfoy…!"

"Yes, he's decided to join me for all of our sessions from here on, if that's all right," Narcissa explained. "It's something he never got the chance to do twenty years ago."

"Of course, of course, I'm happy to hear it… It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Malfoy. I'm Carina Avior and, as I'm sure you already know, I was responsible for taking care of your wife during her first pregnancy as well. "

"Likewise, Madame Avior. I've always appreciated that she had someone so skilled looking after her then, and of course now as well." The two courteously shook hands, and Lucius offered a respectful nod of his head.

Narcissa, meanwhile, was impressed. He'd made light of it, but Lucius's words to her were genuine, and that wasn't a treatment he gave everyone.

"Well, I suppose we should get right into it, no?" Avior said. "Let's see, your second month and our first true meeting about all of this… First things first, I ought to start by asking how arrived here today…?"

"Floo powder," Narcissa answered hastily with confidence.

"Good," Avior said, beaming at her self-assurance and preparedness. "I'm sure you know what I'm going to say already, but I suggest that you keep Apparition to a minimum now, and remember that I'll expressly prohibit it into your second and third trimesters. It's always good to have that practice in now; I know first hand how hard a habit always Apparating for travel can be to break… Personally, I'd advise the use of a carriage or some such, though with the location and size of your estate, I don't know that that's feasible."

Lucius meanwhile mumbled something under his breath regarding the fact that there were no elves at the manor to drive one, though both women chose to pay it no mind.

"Concerning your transport when it comes time for you to give birth, you'll have permission to create a Portkey here to St. Mungo's, of course," she continued, referencing the safest means of instant transportation for their kind, "though we'll always have Healers on call should you not be comfortable with that and prefer, or perhaps need, to have the process carried out at your manor."

Narcissa nodded. "I understand, and I'll keep those options in mind; thank you."

Avior had noticed the way Lucius's grimace throughout their conversation. "Of course, that doesn't necessarily ban your husband from Apparition and all of that… Though if you do, I suppose that's another story!"

Even Narcissa, in all her love for the man, snickered alongside Avior at this.

"At any rate, how have you been feeling lately, Mrs. Malfoy?"

"I'm quite well, now that my morning sickness is becoming a rarer occurrence," Narcissa stated quickly. She went on to answer the Healer's next question before she could ask it. "It's been a few, perhaps two or three, days since last that happened. I've experienced several dizzy spells as well, though I haven't exactly been concerned about them…"

"All very normal for the first trimester," Avior affirmed.

"I suppose I should say that some nights are occasionally emotionally rougher for me than others, but when Lucius is always there next to me, I have no trouble getting past those, either."

Saving himself the embarrassment, Lucius kept his head down at her mentioning him and such a private aspect of their life together.

She nodded. "No other physical symptoms, then, or perhaps bouts of depression, or severe mood swings?"

"Not particularly, I don't think. I know I've been moody, and not always the easiest to deal with, but nothing out of the ordinary for my condition, I believe. I think it hasn't been nearly so bad as the first time around, at least…" She looked to her husband for his concurrence.

"I most definitely agree. Overall, thus far, it's been a much less tumultuous experience for both of us."

"Excellent." She made a note on her clipboard as well, just as the assistant before her had. Something apparently troubling caught her eye, and she then peered at the woman over her glasses, not speaking for just a moment. "…Now, I know I'm not the Healer you usually speak to about this, but it must be discussed so it might as well be now… Does that go for the post-traumatic symptoms you've suffered in the past several years as well…?"

There was an instant change in the mood between the three of them. It was a subtle change, yet evident to all present. Lucius clenched his fist but didn't say a word.

"We all still reflect on it, Lucius and Draco and I, and truthfully, I don't know that we'll ever escape the nightmares entirely. However…Months have gone by since last one of us entered a room and the memories contained therein became all too real and too vivid to stand. Those sorts of occurrences seem to have left us alone, at least for now."

"And on those nights when some memory is dredged back up, Narcissa and I are always there for one other," Lucius added. "And as for our son," he continued, "though we ourselves can't assist him, specialist Healers are in place at Hogwarts this year for just such occasions."

Avior gave them a sympathetic glance, surely no stranger to their plights, having lived through two wars herself. "How often do these things happen, if I may?"

"Lucius or I may experience a nightmare or some such once or twice a month, perhaps?" Narcissa guessed, looking to her husband to confirm.

"Yes, I'd say so. Though I should say it happens to me more often than it does to Narcissa," he explained to the Healer.

She made another quick note. "I'm sorry to bring that up with you both," she said, "but the less stress either of you have to deal with, Mrs. Malfoy especially, the better. Right now, from the standpoint of the pregnancy and how your post-traumatic symptoms can relate, I can't exactly complain about one or two nightmares per month, for either of you. But should you begin having more frequent dreams, or should those episodes you mentioned start again, I expect you'll be making an appointment with me posthaste. Both of you are going through some mental and emotional changes now, and these sorts things can very much be effected by such changes."

"We will," Narcissa said with a nod and a weak smile. It was never easy to talk about, even among themselves.

"Now, on the subject of your son, how is he doing with all of this? He's not too many years from starting a family of his own, is he?" she continued, refusing to allow the dark atmosphere she had created to continue any longer than it had to.

"He's doing better with it than we had anticipated," Narcissa said. "At first I was worried what he would think, incredibly so… Lucius can agree it lead to some rough nights for me."

"He was, as we had expected, uncomfortable with the news when we told him," Mr. Malfoy clarified. "And I suppose he still is uncomfortable with it, but if that's indeed the case, he's been handling it much better since I was able to talk to him and after the holidays passed. To be fair, I can't even imagine what it must be like to learn you're having a sibling at eighteen."

"And, moreover, to be the first Malfoy tohave a sibling in generations," Narcissa mentioned. She didn't look at Lucius as she said it, but her words were for him. It had gone unsaid between them, ever since the night she announced to him that she was pregnant, but she didn't doubt that it was something that had been on his mind. It was time, she decided, to let him know that it was fine to bring up the broken tradition, and that it was something she was ready and more than willing to deal with.

"I'd say he should be quite proud!" Avior said jovially, "Just as I know the two of you are." Having had such a long career as a Healer, Carina Avior could very easily hear the true pride Narcissa felt with every word she spoke about her baby, and it pleased her indefinitely to hear Narcissa speak of it with the same delight she did nearly twenty years prior.

"Before we get to your physical examination, do you have any questions for me, either of you?" the Healer asked kindly as she drew her wand.

"I don't believe so, at least not right now… Lucius?"

He shook his head.

"Well, if you do think of something, don't hesitate to say so; it's what I'm here for," Avior reminded. "Now then." She flicked her wand, causing a pale green light to emanate from it, and touched it lightly to Narcissa's chest, mentally noting her results. She proceeded to do the same at several places on her back, at her neck, and once to her forehead, giving the command to "take a deep breath" or "relax" every so often. "Go ahead and lie back."

Narcissa did as she said, and she could feel the warm glow of Avior's wand where she touched it to her abdomen, even through the fabric of her robes. Here she lingered the longest, taking the most care with where she placed her wand and how she moved it over her. After a moment, Narcissa cast a worried glance at Lucius. She couldn't help but get a bit nervous when the Healer didn't remove her wand as quickly as she had from the other locations she'd tested. Was something wrong with her already? Could Avior tell she would miscarry, or that child was unwell, even at this stage? The thought alone was enough to scare her, yet she didn't dare speak it aloud, not yet.

Lucius, meanwhile, attempted to remain impassive. If his wife was going to be worried about it, he couldn't allow himself to do the same, lest she not have someone to turn to for confidence when she needed it. It was one of the many regards in which they were very similar.

After several more excruciating moments, she extinguished the light from her wand and returned it to its place in her robes. "I'm happy to say you look wonderful all around, Mrs. Malfoy."

She breathed a sigh of relief and sat up once more. "You don't know how pleased I am to hear it. I didn't exactly remember it taking so long the last time, and I couldn't help but wonder…"

"Only natural you didn't remember," she explained. "With a mother at an advanced age for childbearing, we try to take extra care with such things due to the increased risks involved with the pregnancy…"

The relief she felt melted away. Bringing that up was an inevitability. "Madame Avior, I…" Narcissa stopped herself, suddenly acutely aware that both the Healer's and, perhaps more importantly, Lucius's eyes were on her. "Nothing would prevent me from wanting to have this baby, but… Exactly how great are the risks we're facing now?"

She frowned. It was never an easy subject to discuss, whether she was the one to bring it up first, as she usually had to be, or her patient. "The risk of a miscarriage at your age, Mrs. Malfoy, is around thirty-five percent, and the chance of a stillbirth is around one in one hundred and twenty. I don't want you to expect that that will be what happens, certainly not. However…I can say it would be unwise not to at least consider the less likely possibility, and… well, to prepare for the worst, just in case."

Narcissa said nothing, lost in thought. She had realized there was a greater chance, yes, that she would not be able to carry Lucius's child to term, but hearing those numbers and having him next to her through it...The possibility was wholly more real and that much more terrifying to her now than ever. Unconsciously, she touched a hand to her belly. There was a thirty-five percent chance that the child growing there now would be gone before her first trimester had run its course. Were that to be the case, she doubted she would be able to conceive again, both physically and mentally…It was practically a miracle she was even pregnant now, was it not?

Lucius restrained himself from abandoning the pureblood ways he'd been taught and taking Narcissa in his arms right there. He knew she hated having such a margin of doubt; such a large, as she would describe it, uncertainty in something that had in a few short weeks come to mean the world to her. He wanted desperately to remind her that in both scenarios, the odds were very much in their favor and even if fate did turn against them, all hope for her having a child would not be lost.

"Also…" Narcissa's eyes snapped up to meet Avior's when she spoke again. "When your child is born, there… Well, it's difficult to say to a couple of your status especially, but due to your ages as well as your blood purity… There is a very small chance, perhaps just two percent or even less, that your son or daughter will not be able to do magic."

This was one thing Lucius was very surprised to hear, and it caught him more than a little off guard – but only momentarily. The idea that his – that their – child could be a Squib, of all things, to him it was utterly ridiculous. "Oh no, you must be mistaken," he said with confidence. "No member of the Malfoy family, let alone my wife, could ever give birth to a Squib."

"M-Mr. Malfoy, as I said, it's never easy to mention to wizards of your status… But even you must recognize that small chance, just in case… Just in case the unthinkable does happen this time. It would be only wise."

Lucius was ready to correct her again, for Narcissa's sake if nothing else. She had enough on her mind now, he thought, with her being told of the possibilities that her child wouldn't make it in the first place. She didn't need to hear in addition to that that it might have such a disability when it did live. Narcissa, however, spoke before he had the opportunity.

"I must say, you've certainly given me… That is to say, us, plenty to think about today…Our child not being magical; that's something Lucius and I hadn't even considered…" It was obvious from her body language alone that the woman was very much ready to return to her manor and do nothing but just that.

"Then its fortunate your only business left here is to go down to get your blood tests done with the specialist Healers and check out," she said.

Narcissa stood, and Lucius followed suit. "Thank you Madame Avior, truly," Narcissa said.

"And again, it was a pleasure to meet you," Lucius added kindly. "I'll look forward to our next meeting."

"Of course, the pleasure was all mine." They nodded to one another as the Malfoys moved to leave. "Oh, and Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy?" she addressed them formally. "Everything's going to turn out just fine. You're strong people, the two of you!"

They gave her their thanks once more, and shut the door behind them as they left.

As was proper, little was said between them for the rest of their visit to the hospital, both very preoccupied with their own thoughts anyway. Narcissa finished with her tests, was promised results within a week, and checked out, scheduling her next appointment for the beginning of February. They rode the elevator, once again alone but this time with much fewer words between them, to the first floor and repeated their trip through the Floo network exactly as they had arriving there.

"Lucius, I-I think I'm going to spend some time in the library or some such for awhile…" she said, shrugging off her traveling cloak when she emerged from the fireplace.

"Alone? Cissa, are you sure…?" he asked with some trepidation. Any other time it would have likely been Narcissa suggesting they talk about things right then and there; it was Lucius that so often first preferred his time alone. Given everything that they'd been told, he couldn't help but worry about her, and he found himself even desiring to have that conversation with her.

"Just for now, if that's all right. I think that's what I need right now."

He hesitated a bit, unsure of whether to persist at first. Yes, he had matters that required his own attention that he would be happy to get back to, but what she faced now was something that was essentially very foreign to her, and she wasn't the only one who had a great many thoughts and feelings to sort through. "…All right, but if you reconsider..."

"I'll come find you." It was a promise; he could see that much in her eyes.

They held one another's gaze for a single moment longer than necessary, communicating in that one look alone the hope that the other might be able to comprehend what they were feeling, and the understanding that everything would without a doubt be said, it may just take a little bit of time to become comfortable enough to say it.

With this in place, Narcissa gave a small smile, and left the room alone.

Narcissa slowly lifted her head from pillows on the couch in her study. One look towards the window told her the sun had set, likely quite awhile ago, based on how very refreshed she felt as she awoke, and a glance at the clock on the wall confirmed it. In the time she had spent alone that day, she had read, she had dwelled upon her thoughts, imagining how any number of scenarios regarding her conversation with Lucius and regarding her child would play out, she had written, and she had, of course, slept. Finally, in her head, everything felt normal for her. The realization gave her a warm, pleasant feeling. A half-day of rest was all that was necessary to achieve it, and with any luck, the same would be true for Lucius.

She adjusted her robes and ran a hand through her blonde and brunette locks as she stood up. Of course, she reminded herself, Lucius is probably already asleep by now. She lit her wand when she entered the darkened hall, the only other lights currently illuminating it being the ones they always kept on during the nights. She made her way to their bedroom, where she was surprised to find that the bed was made just as perfectly as it had been earlier that day. Perhaps he had fallen asleep in the same way she had, she thought. Still, even if she couldn't have her discussion with him just then, she would at least have him come to bed with her.

She proceeded downstairs and down the main hall on her way to his own private study, the one place that in the twenty some years they had been together she knew she could always find him when he didn't wish to be bothered. As she neared the room, she could see a faint light coming from the door that had been left slightly ajar. She did her utmost to step silently, hoping she wouldn't disturb him with the creaking of the old manor floors.

Narcissa pushed the door open quietly, fully expecting to find her husband lying back in one of the leather chairs he kept there or perhaps with his head resting upon his desk, having fallen asleep hours prior. Instead, she was greeted by the sight of his chair turned partially away from the door, Lucius himself very much awake and sitting slightly hunched over. Upon further inspection, on his desk, she noticed, was a whiskey bottle and accompanying glass.

A wave of worry mixed with dread rushed over her. He hadn't been up so late alone in months,and he had promised her just as long ago that he'd never touch a glass of alcohol again without her permission.

"Lucius…?" she whispered.

He gasped and swiftly turned his head in her direction. "Cissa…! J-just what do you think you're doing here…?" She had startled him, and he had no time to regain his composure.

"What is this…?What's going on?" Her tone was not angry, nor even disappointed – just frightened for him.

"Cissa, I…"

She approached him with some apprehension, and as she did she observed his left sleeve rolled up to bear his Dark Mark and his wand grasped tightly his right hand. After a moment of incomprehension, the realization of what she was seeing hit her hard. "Lucius!" She rushed to him and clamped a hand down upon his arm. He tried immediately to pull away from her, but she refused to let him. "Lucius, y-you weren't…You wouldn't…" She had to have the wrong idea; there simply wasn't any other way. She looked from the mark, covered mostly by her own hand, back to him, pleading for him to tell her she was wrong.

He averted his eyes and refused to answer her.

That alone served as all the confirmation she needed. She knelt down next to him, refusing to move her hand as she did so.

"Lucius…why? Why would you want to…?" Her voice was a mere whisper that trailed into silence, unable to bring herself to ask the question.

"Because I've been blinded by your damned optimism long enough!" he said with unintended force.

Ever since the night he had spoken to Draco privately, the questions the boy had asked him never entirely left his mind. They gnawed at him in the time he spent alone, and each time they came to the forefront of his thoughts, his faith in what Narcissa had told him regarding the Dark Mark; that it would fade and eventually disappear in the months or years that followed, that it would be erased from he and Draco both, waned. Though a difficult conclusion to come to, he had realized that all it would take was one simple spell. A single spell and the last thing that marked him as a Death Eater could be gone for good… The Dark Mark would erupt, and pain him for the last time…

She could smell the alcohol on his breath, and yet she still somehow doubted what he was feeling had been influenced by it much at all. Ignoring her first instinct to be hurt by his words, she did her utmost to appear as if it didn't faze her.

"But I thought we were in agreement about all of that…"

"And we were, until some days ago when I was awakened to how foolish you- No, how foolishI was for even thinking this damn thing would ever leave us."

Narcissa grimaced, but continued. She was sure his actions were his own way of attempting to destroy the Lucius he had been and who he was now so ashamed of; Lucius Malfoy the Death Eater, and yet it hurt her to see that despite that, his attempts were only serving to remind her of that man through his shouting and scorn. "When did you start feeling like this, and why didn't you tell me…?" she asked quietly. If nothing else, she realized, she had to get him to talk to her, if only to prolong what may have been the inevitable.

"Ever since I spoke to Draco," he said, still refusing to look at her. "And I didn't say a word of it to you because I knew this would happen if I did. You'd try and fail to change my mind, and that was not something I wished to deal with."

Lucius mentally cursed himself. He hadn't meant to raise his voice with her, nor had he meant to say the things he knew had hurt her. He felt humiliated, though he could tell by her voice alone that she held none of it against him. Still, he couldn't yield to her.

"Draco is just a boy! Whatever he said, he simply doesn't know-"

"He does know, Narcissa. He knows better than you possibly can, because he was one of them, just as I was. It's something in us…I can tell, and Draco clearly can as well, that the Dark Mark is never going to fade away entirely."

That much of what she was hearing, at least, was hard to argue with. It was just as she could not expect Lucius to ever truly know what it was to be left utterly alone in the cold castle they had called a home, or to see his family be taken from him one by one by the Dark Lord they worshipped. It was wounds like these that were the hardest to communicate for everyone.

"Even if that's true…Even if it doesn't go away as I truly do believe it will…" she said, "Why? Why do feel you have to do this, taking these extreme measures, instead of living as you have been? We've been happy, Lucius, with or without the Dark Mark. I know you're not the person you used to be anymore, and I love you regardless. Is that not enough…?"

That was it. She didn't seem to realize that his actions were not, for once, in regards to herself, or even to Draco, and deep inside himself he knew that more than anything, he simply wanted her to understand to the best of her ability what it was he was feeling. This time his voice rose unabashedly and he spoke with conviction, turning to face her. "I have to do it because if my child is to see a scar upon my arm, I will make damn sure it's not going to be this one!"

Narcissa opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came.

In her silence, Lucius continued. "And Narcissa, if it is to be a Squib, I will not allow this stain, this constant reminder of my own mistakes, to be any part of what it knows of our world!"

Narcissa could hardly find the words to say. He was thinking to harm himself for the sake of her unborn child… It was as if she had known, somehow, that that would be his reason, yet at the same time she hadn't expected it to be at all. Narcissa felt a certain heaviness, almost a physical pain, rise in her chest. She shouldn't have demanded to be alone. She should have talked to him and persuaded him into revealing these dreadful thoughts of his before he made up his mind to try and act upon them. She had been selfish, she thought.

"But what of Draco? Even if you damage yourself like this, won't his Dark Mark still be around? He's going to be a part of our baby's life too, you know! If not on yours, our second will just end up seeing it on his arm, won't it?"

"Draco will take precautions when he's around; I'll tell him to, and by the time this child is old enough to ask about it, Draco will have his own to worry about, I'm sure…"

"Then what about the books at Hogwarts, Lucius? Is that how you want our child to discover its parents associated with the darkest wizard ever to have lived, from a history book?"

"Have you not listened to me?" he shouted, distressed. "I don't want it to find out at all!"

"That's inevitable! Like it or not, those years we spent in service to Voldemort, they're part of who you are… They're part of who Draco is, and who I am, too, and it's not fair to our child to deny that part of us now just because we feel guilty or shameful about it!" Her eyes began to water, no matter how she willed against it.

"…N-Narcissa… I have every intention of going through with this, with or without you here…" He had to fight to say the words in light of hers, in spite of the fierce determination he felt. He had convinced himself so thoroughly of the legitimacy of his plans to destroy his own Dark Mark, and as a result the person he used to be, that he didn't want to give what she had said any consideration, though that was becoming increasingly difficult.

Suddenly, she became aware of her hands still tightly grasping his arm, and the implications, intended or not, of what he had told her. Still, she didn't let go. "Then do it. Even if I can't stop you," she started, her voice threatening to break and several tears rolling down her cheeks, "seeing you wanting to cause yourself harm for anything, especially something so unavoidable, something we…something we could get through together, just as we have every other misfortune forced upon us… My god, Lucius, it hurts." The feeling in her chest grew more intense the more she said and the more she implored him to listen to reason.

Desperately, he looked into her eyes, searching for something; something that could deter her words from taking root in him, or anything that would serve as the final push he needed to stop him from what he was planning to do.

Seeing this in him, she stood once more. She calmly lifted her hand from his left forearm and stood directly in front of him as he continued to gaze up at her. "Please," she murmured. "If not for me, then…" With purpose, she took his hand and pressed it to her abdomen. His eyes widened and his grasp on his wand loosened. With this, he couldn't withhold from her any longer. The wand fell from his hand; it's clattering to the floor the only sound to be heard in the room.

Narcissa felt as if some of the weight had been lifted from her. Slowly, she reached out to embrace him, though he didn't allow for his hand to entirely leave its position at her middle.

Lucius, unexpectedly overcome with exhaustion, lowered his head to rest upon her shoulder and nearly instantly felt comforted. Though he was unable to decide if he had been made a coward or if he had been a fool all along until Narcissa had shown up, he had found what he was looking for and he had found it in her. At that moment, that was all that mattered to him. He would apologize to her later, for everything, after he had awoken from the long rest he knew he needed.

"You deserve a good night's sleep, Lucius," she said softly. When he nodded, she pulled away from him and helped him to stand. He staggered slightly, in the first several steps he took and leaned upon her for support, but if it were due to the drinks he had or merely his own fatigue, he didn't know.

And as long as had Narcissa's strength to hold him steady, it didn't matter.