Author's Notes: OMG! Bass! LOL! So I actually thought about addressing poor Bass and then it just simply didn't make it in the chapter. I'm not sure why; I honestly thought about it. So, as someone pointed out in the comments on my last chapter (yes I do read them and cherish the feedback) I left everyone wondering about Bass. I hope you can forgive me; no animals were harmed in the creation of this story. I would also be remiss if I didn't say sorry it took me so long; real life got in the way for a bit.
Chapter 9
"Oh my God! Bass!" Maura's head shot up as Jane maneuvered their vehicle through the trees to park as close to the secluded cabin as possible. Clearly Maura was now awake; she had slept almost the entire ride to the cabin. Jane wasn't certain if that was a blessing or a curse. She was thankful that Maura was resting and allowing her time to gather her thoughts. On the other hand, Jane had expected some conversation, even if it came in the form of rationalization on Maura's part for her behavior. Instead, it seemed she wasn't bothered in the least; how else would one explain the ability to fall asleep within minutes and remain that way for the entire journey. The thought did occur to Jane, more times than she cared to admit, that perhaps she was giving her place in Maura's life more credence than it deserved.
"Your turtle is fine," Jane said as she removed her hand from Maura's shoulder and allowed her to sit up in the passenger seat. "Korsak called my new, breathtaking cell phone to inform me that your turtle was found hiding under the couch." To emphasize her sarcasm, Jane plastered on a fake grin while holding her technologically challenged phone up for Maura to view it. "As you can see, the only things it's missing are my ringtones and all the technology that comes with being in the 21st century."
"Tortoise," Maura corrected her in their usual game and then plastered on a sympathetic smile. "Where is Bass now?"
"Likely hiding under my couch." Jane rolled her eyes at the cell phone that remained in her hand before she shoved it in her coat pocket to escape her misery at the current absence of her beloved iPhone. "I'm not sure if he would be hiding because of Jo Friday or because of Ma and her shrill voice reliving walking into your house."
"Can't you use both phones?" Maura completely ignored Jane's reference to her house being in shambles; it was too disconcerting to absorb at the moment.
"Not if we want to remain hidden." Jane closed her eyes as she finally shut the car off and looked at the rustic looking cabin. "Did you know that in the 21st century cell phones actually have GPS and can be located?"
"Maybe it would be easier on you if you weren't so sarcastic and tried to make the best of things? I think it's hard on everyone involved."
Maura tore her gaze away from Jane's to see what Janes eyes had focused on. The cabin was partially hidden by overgrown trees. It was small, certainly only a few rooms and one level, but somehow welcoming to Maura.
"For example, see how peaceful it is out here?" Maura's attempt at being optimistic seemed to only anger Jane further. "How often do you get to escape the chaos of the city?" Maura looked around and as far as the naked eye could see, they were seemingly quite far from civilization. "Where have we actually escaped to, Jane?"
Jane drew in a deep breath in an effort to calm her temper. She had practiced all her meditation exercises throughout the drive. It became glaringly obvious to Jane that she had hardly paid attention in any of the yoga classes Maura had forced her into attending; she had exhausted her relaxation efforts only remembering a grand total of three techniques before giving up and stewing in her anger. The fact that Maura could insinuate that this was hard on her, when she was the person who had dragged them all into this ordeal, was infuriating.
"Vermont," Jane answered bluntly. "Just over the Massachusetts border."
Maura was captivated by the scenery around her. She began to look around, the view was amazing and what she originally thought of as a hill she could now see would be better classified as a cliff.
"How would anyone even build up here? Despite the fact that this is likely protected land, the sheer logistics of getting materials and a crew up here would be a nightmare." Maura's eyes followed the small trail that disappeared near the house and into a rather dense, wooded area. She opened her door and placed her foot on the ground eliciting a rather loud growl from Jane's direction.
"What?"
"Did you just happen to forget that someone is trying to kill you?" Jane grabbed her police issued revolver and cocked it to ensure it was ready to fire. "Before you go out prancing around looking for Bambi and Thumper do you think that you could give me a chance to make sure it's clear?"
Maura wisely remained silent as she watched Jane's eyes quickly glance over the scenery before them. Jane remained close to the car; Maura watched as she swirled around and checked the area once more before opening her door.
"Stay behind me, we'll go inside and take a look."
"I can stay in the car…." Maura's attempt at being helpful was met with Jane's hardened gaze.
"Right, so if someone is here they could easily take a shot at you while I'm searching the cabin. Just stay behind me Maura."
Jane quietly shut the door as Maura stood behind her, close enough to have Jane's hair tickle her nose as the wind blew it back off her face. The colors here were dramatic; each leaf seemingly kissed with hues of golden yellows and deep reddish streaks. The rustling of the branches by the wind was calming and Jane momentarily stopped and pointed her gun in the direction of the house before using the key and opening the door.
"Stay close," Jane whispered as her intense gaze focused on each corner of the room.
Maura placed a hand on Jane's back out of habit and Jane struggled to calm her nerves before walking into the house. She usually had backup, which consisted of several officers who were trained with their weapons; this was a first for Jane, having a designer clad Chief Medical Examiner who admittedly had never used a gun before as her wingman.
The living area was welcoming; large sofas that looked well used decorated the area. There was one simple throw rug placed under a coffee table on the most glorious hardwood floors that Maura had even seen. In the corner, also facing an older television set, sat a rocking chair that Maura instantly recognized as an antique.
"Close the door behind you," Jane whispered as Maura inched closer to her to be able to swing the door shut. Maura pressed her chest into Jane's back but wisely left her arms hanging at her side.
Jane moved further into the house; the kitchen was an open layout and bigger than Maura would have expected from the footprint visible outside. There was a small island strategically placed in the middle of the kitchen to prepare food on. Copper pots and pans hung overhead; it had a rustic feeling that relaxed Maura. Jane, on the other hand, was so tense the muscles in her jaw were flexing to match the ones in her arms and back. Jane peered around the corner, checking each area to ensure no one was hiding waiting for her to let her guard down.
Once Jane was confident it was safe, she motioned with her head down the hallway and Maura followed her. The hallway was small, so they instantly approached the bathroom which was the first door on the right. It was small, a pedestal sink and a tub were the only items not affixed to the wall. The items that were seemed simple, no fancy accommodations in the bathroom. Maura smiled; it somehow fit the house's feel and she was glad that it was kept in the spirit of the original structure.
There was only one additional door to the cabin; it was easy to guess that it was the bedroom. Maura's eyes widened as Jane slowly pushed the door open to reveal a queen size bed in the middle of the room and two dressers on adjoining walls. The closet door was open, and Maura's eyes widened in response to the lack of room the closet provided. She appreciated that it fit the house well; somehow she would have to manage to unpack strategically enough to utilize every inch of the room.
"It's clear." Jane stood up and the tension seemed to ooze out of her shoulders and back. Her hand remained on her gun as she turned to face Maura. "Well, both dressers and the closet might hold half of what you brought."
Maura smiled; it was easy to see that Jane was using humor to try to break the tension between them. Maura, however, was more direct in nature which often proved only to exasperate Jane and her avoidance techniques.
"I can get the bags from the car."
"Maybe the closet can hold more than I thought," Jane mused out loud, completely ignoring Maura's offer to get the bags.
"I didn't bring that much," Maura defended herself as Jane's eyes cataloged the scenery around them. She looked out the bedroom window, completely turning her back toward Maura, as she scanned the horizon and surrounding area. "I didn't even bring heels believe it or not. It's very distracting to me not to be dressed up."
Maura noticed Jane's lack of a response; she pressed onward with conversation in a feeble attempt.
"It isn't as bad as you think, Jane. Can't we just make the best of it?"
Jane ignored the question as she opened and closed one of the drawers in the antique dresser. She stepped toward the hallway bypassing Maura, purposefully not touching her as she passed.
"Are you planning on hiding me in the closet to avoid talking?" Maura's question was a fair one given Jane's posture, her arms crossed over her chest in defiance against Maura.
"We talk all the time, Maura." Jane turned before she stepped out of the bedroom and into the hallway. Jane was avoiding; she essentially was reverting to old behavior. However, she did surprise Maura when she was already free and clear of the room but turned around to face her.
"Besides, it wasn't me that wasn't talking this time. It was you."
Jane's words stung; Maura instantly felt her eyes begin to sting and she blinked rapidly to hold back the tears. Maura's posture straightened and she physically set herself for battle, even if mentally she was exhausted and scared.
"Well I'm willing to talk about it now," Maura offered quietly.
Jane knew it would only be a matter of time before Maura pushed the issue; she silently cursed herself for developing and then repeating the mantra 'please don't follow me' knowing that Maura was worried and more than anything needed a friend right now. It was natural for her to follow Jane wanting to settle their disagreement. Maura's bluntness and inability to avoid was something that Jane normally found endearing. But Jane's reaction to Maura's omission was uncharacteristic, it made her feel needy and disregarded at the same time and she just didn't want to get into it.
"Now isn't the time."
"Then when is the time, Jane?" Maura crossed her arms across her chest in a defensive pose and cocked her hip to lean against the door jam while she spoke. "Or are we just going to passive-aggressively deal with one another for the short time we're here?"
Jane snorted, taking Maura by surprise as a smile graced her beautiful features.
"Oh, so because you now want to talk about it, we need to talk about it? You've been hiding it from me for… I don't even know how long, but now you suddenly have this all-consuming need to talk about it? And you're assuming that it will be a short period of time! Boston's finest have been after Paddy Doyle and his friends for years and, as he so eloquently pointed out, we have shit on him!"
"So you're mad because you have to stay here potentially for a long period of time? Or is it that you have to stay here with me?"
"I'm going to go chop some wood," Jane pointed out the back set of windows toward some of the trees. "I'll just be outside. It will get cold in here at night and we should be prepared."
"What do I have to do to make it up to you, Jane?" Maura's expression was sincere. "I wasn't trying to hurt you; I was trying to get the name of my biological mother."
Jane's silence was not much help; so Maura decided to guess while she had Jane's attention.
"Do you want me to tell you everything I know about Doyle?"
"That and a token will get me a ride on the subway, Maura."
"Do you want me to beg for forgiveness for trying to do something for myself for once in my life?" Maura winced at Jane's scoff and subsequent eye roll. "Chocolate," Maura smiled allowing her dimples to appear. "You can order it with or without 14 karat gold specs. It is our traditional way to apologize and if I search my purse I'm sure I can find something."
"You implied it was a bribe if my memory serves me correctly." Jane smiled halfheartedly; it never actually reached her dark, expressive eyes. "I'm going to chop the wood."
Maura watched as Jane headed outside, taking her light jacket off and placing it near the ground on a bare stump. She was thankful that the axe was in plain sight. It was stuck into another stump with the handle facing out. Maura knew from her vantage point that Jane couldn't possibly see her watching; Maura leaned against the wall and watched as Jane readied herself.
"Stupid chocolate, makes me sad even when it isn't from Jorge," Jane mumbled.
She picked up the handle and placed a rather large log in her cutting area. Jane swung the axe and slammed the blade down, splitting the log in two.
"Why didn't she tell me? I trusted her. I thought she trusted me." Jane was thankful to have time to have the silent conversation within her head. Maura's playful attempt at apologizing made Jane even angrier.
Jane repeated the motion; slamming the axe down and feeling the physical release of her stress. She threw the wood near the door, intent on stacking it up nicely so she could just step outside briefly to get wood when they needed it.
"Why does it bother me so much that she didn't tell me?"
Jane grunted as the force of the blade sliced through the wood. She did it once more, throwing the wood near the cabin.
"How is it that fucking Doyle can introduce some much fucking confusion in my life in such a short time?"
Jane blinked when beads of sweat dripped in her eyes; she had no idea how long she had been chopping wood but it was certainly enough to be sweating profusely from the physical exertion. She laid the axe down near her feet; thankful she had dressed in layers and could easily shed some to be more comfortable.
Jane began chopping wood once more, having shed her jacket and now her sweatshirt, Jane was donned in a BPD long t-shirt and jeans. Maura could see the muscles flex in Jane's back as she lifted the axe and then slammed it down into a piece of wood to split it. Maura felt her heart race as she watched Jane, who was completely unaware of her audience. Maura loved these moments; the moments where she could observe Jane without interruption, seeing elements of Jane that she hid from so many people.
Maura watched as Jane wiped the sweat off her forehead and forced the blade back into the stump where she had found it. In a short time, Jane had chopped enough wood for a day or two. She began to stack it when Maura opened the door near the wood pile and stepped out, commanding Jane's attention.
"For the record, the chocolate wasn't a bribe. It was my way of trying to make amends."
Jane ignored her and continued stacking the wood, not necessarily because she didn't want to have the conversation, but more so because she wasn't certain what to say.
"Additionally for the record, ignoring me isn't going to make this pleasant on either of us."
Jane said nothing; continuing to stack her freshly cut wood into neat piles.
"Did you know there is actually an eighteen step program designed to help someone ignore someone else?" Maura, despite all her efforts, now felt desperate and resorting to useless trivia provided her some sort of control over the situation. "The first step is to ask yourself if you're ready to cut all ties with someone."
Jane stopped stacking wood and simply looked up at Maura from her crouched over position.
"The second would be to know the motive behind the upsetting action that has brought the relationship to this level."
"I know your motive," Jane said as she stood straight up and closed the distance between her and Maura for good measure.
"Step three is to try to voice your concerns to the person."
"I'm concerned that you lied to me and didn't tell me about your newly developed relationship with a killer."
"I think that then goes back to step two," Maura said in response to Jane's growled statement.
"This is ridiculous, Maura!" Jane was now angry and her eyes were blazing as they held Maura's gaze. "I don't need a fucking program to ignore you! You had no problem ignoring me when it came to your little secret about helping your father so why is it such an issue!"
"So you're mad, not because I was trying to get information from Doyle, but because I didn't tell you?" Maura's voice rose several octaves as the shock over the source of Jane's anger became evident.
"You lied to me."
"I can't lie!" Maura stood toe to toe with Jane, unwilling to allow Jane's misplaced anger to be directed at her. "I didn't tell you that I was making him comfortable until he died so I could get a little piece of who I am settled. That's not lying."
"It's a lie of omission."
"I didn't know how to tell you, Jane," Maura mumbled as she stepped toward the car intent on getting her bags from the trunk. She stopped when Jane's hand grasped her arm and turned her around.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you look at things very black and white, Jane. Good and bad. It's who you are. But this wasn't black and white for me."
"Oh, so this is my fault?"
"Paddy Doyle is not your fault," Maura's voice dropped as she yanked her arm from Jane's grasp. "Me helping a known mob boss is not your fault, I own that decision and certainly feel like I'm paying for it now. The fact that you make no effort to understand where I'm coming from is your fault."
"And maybe if you had come to me with this on the front side I would have been more willing to try to understand where you were coming from. But you didn't give me that option."
"And clearly you're not willing to exercise the option now." Maura walked over to the car and yanked her bags from the unlocked trunk. She stacked the smaller one on top of the larger one with wheels and wheeled them up the path to the house.
"And what program step is that one, Dr. Isles?"
Maura stopped, turning to face Jane. "The one right before taking a break," she replied before wheeling her bags inside.
Jane's mouth hung open as allowed the storm door to slam shut behind her. Jane looked around, knowing that they were alone, before closing her mouth and glaring at the shut door in front of her. Jane scoffed; grabbing her shed clothing before turning toward the house. She ran one hand through her hair, her other hand clenching the fabric that it held.
"Well just what the fuck?"