Chapter 3 Don't want to lose you
It was naptime. Finn had fallen asleep incredibly fast making loud noises. Blaine giggled, when suddenly the blue eyes he had been staring at the last 5 minutes crawled into his blankets. Kurt snuggled next to Blaine with a smile.
"You spoke Kurt," Blaine whispered.
Kurt nodded.
"You asked for me?"
Kurt nodded again.
"I don't want to lose you too," Kurt quickly whispered back after a pause.
"Huh?"
"My mommy died, and I'm afraid to talk, because if I show I really love someone like my mommy I'm afraid they'll leave,"
Blaine stroked hair out of Kurt's eyes and searched them. His 8 year old heart was beating rapidly. He wasn't too sure what it meant but when Mrs Carole told stories, she mentioned how the prince would find a princess and that they would fall in love because they were so happy together.
Blaine was always happy with Kurt, he wondered if there was ever two princes in a story, because Kurt was like the princess for him, well so he thought, he wasn't sure if he was meant to fall in love with a boy. His small brain was spinning with questions, and he was too scared to ask.
"You won't lose me Kurt, and it's not your fault your mommy died,"
"But she's gone, I miss her, and I'd miss you too, if you were gone,"
Blaine sighed.
"I will never leave you Kurt,"
"Promise?"
"Promise,"
They stared at each other before looking away embarressed.
"You sound so pretty," Blaine smiled, when Kurt lay his head back on Blaine's shoulder.
Kurt blushed.
"Your voice sounds like an angel!" Blaine insisted.
"Does not," Kurt replied shyly. Blaine intertwined their hands.
"Does too,"
"Does not,"
"Does too,"
"Does not,"
"Yes it does," Finn exclaimed rubbing his eyes. Stopping the soon to be fight.
"Oh..."
Blaine grinned.
"See," Blaine squealed.
"What is with all this noise," Carole folded her arms pretending to be mad as she looked at all three boys in the sleeping area.
"Mommy! Kurt spoke!" Little Finn grinned.
Carole narrowed her eyes. She then looked at Kurt who was cuddled next to Blaine.
"Kurt sweetie, why don't you talk to me?"
Kurt shifted uncomfortably. Blaine held his hand and squeezed it. He nodded at Kurt to do so.
Kurt bit his bottom lip. Blaine's hand felt good in his...and he wasn't so scared.
"Hi Mrs Carole..." Kurt whispered.
Carole beamed as she pulled him of the ground gently and held him.
"Kurt...don't hide from us okay? You are a special little guy, and your daddy misses hearing your voice,"
Kurt hang his head low as he held onto Carole's neck.
"He's scared Ms Carole," Blaine added. Kurt shot him a look that it was meant to be a secret.
Blaine just smiled at him.
"Oh honey, why?" Carole soothed stroking Kurt's back.
"He doesn't want to lose Blaine!" Finn acknowledged proudly.
This time Blaine blushed and threw him a look.
Kurt crossed his arm, but couldn't help but agree and let them go.
"Why would you be afraid to lose Blaine? He's right here sweetie," Carole chuckled.
Kurt looked at her, then back to Blaine, and then back to Finn and then to Carole. He then started to cry.
Blaine instantly got up and walked to Carole concerned. If Kurt was on ground level, he would hug him but he couldn't.
"Its okay Kurt," Carole comforted.
"He's afraid to lose people he loves," Finn also added.
Blaine nodded, thinking Ms Carole had a right to know, maybe she could tell him he wouldn't.
"Oh honey! Don't worry sweetie, you won't lose Blaine,"
"I don't want to lose any of you," Kurt insisted his head in the crook of Carole's neck.
Carole frowned just as Burt walked in.
"Hey what's with all the sad faces? People are starting to stare from outside... Kiddo why are you crying?" Burt noticed as he took Kurt from Carole.
Carole made a mental note to talk to her employees.
Kurt clung to his shirt and cried harder.
Blaine walked up and tugged at Burt's overalls.
Burt looked down confused.
"Hey Blainers, how are you boy?"
"Mhm...fine, sir...but Kurt... he...feels like its his fault," Blaine told.
He knew Kurt would be mad at him later, but he just wanted Kurt to talk to his father, he saw the connection between them that he didn't have with his.
"What is his fault?" Burt asked kneeling down, still holding Kurt as he reached Blaine's level.
"His mother...dying," Blaine mumbled.
Kurt buried his head into Burt's chest...ashamed at the announcement.
"What?" Burt asked astonished.
Carole nodded understanding now.
"Blaine and Finn were just telling me how Kurt doesn't talk because he doesn't want to lose the people he loves, I think what they are trying to say is that Kurt feels like by loving someone too much, they'll go just like his mother," Carole explained. Burt sighed.
He pulled Kurt of gently from his neck, who looked worried about being caught and started to cry again.
"Kurt...no don't cry baby, its okay, I'm not mad at you, I should have told you this a lot earlier, but its not your fault your mother died, I just assumed you knew that, because your mother loved you so so much, but what happened to her, was not in any of our control, sometimes... life sucks kiddo, and your mommy went to heaven because God wanted her to go, he needed her too,"
"I didn't want her to go," Kurt said brokenly.
Blaine whimpered at the sound of Kurt's voice as he listened. Kurt sounded so sad...and he didn't like it. Finn watched sadly too and came around to put a hand round Blaine's shoulders, when he noticed the boy close to tears. Carole shook her head at the inconvience of it all.
"I know baby, I know, but it's not your fault, kiddo, don't ever think again that it is...and I missed you so much, I miss her too, but we got to move on, and she would want you to smile, she will be looking down at you, and she'll always be in your heart,"
Kurt sighed as he was lifted higher against Burt's chest.
"Sorry dad,"
Burt had tears in his eyes.
"Don't be, just...be yourself, she loves you Kiddo no matter where you go, and so do I,"
"I love you dad," Kurt added.
Burt smiled.
"I love you too kiddo, now I think I better put you down, Blaine looks like he wants a hug too,"
"ME TOO!" Finn exclaimed. Burt chuckled.
"I give you hugs all the time," Carole laughed.
"Yeah but you're my mother, you have to, and sometimes you squeeze too tight,"
Carole rolled her eyes.
"I just love you too much Finny," Carole smirked rubbing his head.
"HEY!"
Burt laughed and bent down to hug Finn anyway. He then turned towards Blaine.
"Want a hug kiddo?"
Blaine hesitated.
He looked like he really wanted too...but something was stopping him.
Kurt than nodded at him, encouraging him.
"My daddy doesn't give hugs," Blaine said quietly.
"Why not?" Burt tried to control his temper.
"He says I'm bad..." Blaine whispered like it was a horrible secret.
Kurt looked shocked.
Carole grimaced.
Finn crossed his arms wishing he could tell Blaine's father the opposite.
Burt didn't wait any longer. He picked Blaine up, who was very light.
He stared Blaine straight in the eyes who looked at him with wide eyes.
"Why...would he say you're bad kiddo?"
"I...I'm not good...my mommy says I'm not allowed to cry, and that I'm messy because I get my hands dirty, and my crayons are all over the place, my hair is wild, and I can't control it, and I can't help...I can't help it...because the trees outside our house are so high...and so pretty...and I wanted to be like Tarzan! So I climbed up one of them one day, and my daddy...saw me…and said that I was being really bad for making other people think I was like a monkey, and that I needed to act like a human...I tried to explain, but he said...I was a bad bad bad kid...I'm not normal sir, my mommy asked why I couldn't be like other kids..."
Kurt sniffed.
"You are not bad Blaine, you are an amazing sweet kid, who is very good with my son, and Finn, and I want you to promise me, never to listen to those type of words again okay? If they say that again just remember that we don't think that about you okay? We all make mistakes...but your just a kid, you are allowed to behave like that, your parents are just not...they aren't allowed to make you think like that, don't tell them that though kiddo, some parents just don't understand, and your parents are too harsh on you,"
"I get my hands dirty all the time!" Finn pointed out.
Carole laughed.
"He does," Carole told Blaine who looked up with hope.
"But...Kurt is perfect, he never gets dirty, or climbs trees, my parents would love him, they don't love me though," Blaine whimpered.
Kurt shook his head.
"I'm not perfect," Kurt insisted.
"Yes you are kiddo, and so are you Blaine, you are both perfect in your own way," Burt put Blaine back down and patted his shoulder.
"Trust me kiddo, you're perfect,"
Blaine broke down. For the first time ever he felt like someone loved him, he understood what it felt like to feel...accepted.
Kurt pulled him into a hug. Carole went to grab the camera.
"Alright you lot, group photo!"
"My eyes are all puffy!" Blaine pouted.
"My hair is a mess," Kurt added.
"WHO CARES!" Yelled Finn.
Burt laughed.
Burt handed Blaine a tissue who took it gratefully wiped his face with a moist toilette. Kurt quickly straightened his hair as best he could, Blaine giggled and stopped him to pull him in the photo and Carole took a shot of all three of them in a group hug, to remind themselves of what mattered most.