Jane stood on one of the renowned beaches in Provincetown watching the boats in the distance as the wind tousled her dark, curly hair. It was truly surreal to be standing on a beach enjoying the view given all that was going on in Boston. Nearly as bizarre was the fact that she made finding Kathleen Brady her priority rather than sifting through the evidence Patrick Doyle had given her.
"That took longer than I thought." Jane turned to see Maura approaching her. Maura placed her hand on an old wooden fence as she slipped one designer heel off and then another, leaving them by the fence before moving to stand next to Jane. Maura looked out toward the horizon and smiled at the picturesque scene before her. "It really is beautiful. It's certainly worth the time invested getting the reservation to be staying in the B&B right off the beach."
"No investment was needed, Maura," Jane sighed. "I had a perfectly fine hotel."
"Not anywhere near as close to the beach or town. If we want to pass as tourists for our undertaking, it would help to act the part and enjoy all that Provincetown has to offer."
"You sleep and shower in a hotel, I hardly think it matters for our undertaking." Jane focused back out on the horizon. "And what exactly do you mean by undertaking? This isn't Mission Impossible."
"You should focus on the beautiful scenery, Jane, it might relax you." Maura watched as a fishing boat journeyed across her line of vision before disappearing around the bend. "Did you know that the Revere Guest House was built in the height of Provincetown's reign as a thriving fishing port?"
"Fascinating," Jane mumbled as she turned to see Maura with a beautiful, pure smile on her face.
"Thought originally to be built as a Captain's home, it was turned into an Inn in the late 1960's to accommodate the tourists that flock here during peak season."
"Hmmm," Jane just grunted to pretend she was listening rather than focusing on her decision to bring Maura to Provincetown. It felt like everything was changing; the whirlwind of it all fascinated and terrified Jane at the same time.
This could be your heaven, Rizzoli.
"It was remodeled in 2004 but they took great care to ensure that none of the original historic nineteenth century character was lost. You should see the inside, Jane; it's a perfect balance of modern convenience and historic charm."
Okay, so heaven but with Google talk.
Jane nodded still deep in thought until Maura reached her for hand and laced their fingers together while leaning her head on Jane's shoulder.
"What are you doing?" Jane jumped at the sudden contact almost knocking Maura over onto the sandy beach.
"Holding your hand." Maura gripped tighter as Jane tried to release her hand. "I thought you might allow yourself to be in the moment."
"I'm in the moment." Jane heard how defensive her voice sounded. It was unfair of her to not be honest with Maura; Jane had reservations about being in Provincetown. It felt like a magical getaway where none of the pressures of being 'out' mattered. Jane knew all of those pressures and fears still existed back in Boston when they returned. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to find your birth mother so we can get home and focus on the rest of Doyle's case."
"Do you honestly think we'll find her here?"
"I'm not sure." Jane turned to see the wind blowing Maura's hair and the sunlight bouncing in her eyes. "I have a gut feeling about it, despite you not putting much stock in my intestines."
"I trust your intestines more than anyone's if that helps. Mine are telling me that this is going to lead to another road to travel, which will lead to yet another. I don't think this is going to be a sprint to the finish line, Jane; this is likely distance running, of marathon proportions." Maura ended with a sigh.
"You can't get discouraged." Jane hesitated only momentarily before tucking a stray hair behind Maura's ear. "You're closer than you've ever been before, that has to count for something."
Jane instantly felt her fingertips tingle; she certainly wasn't ready for an in depth discussion on her feelings and especially not here, in what had to be one of the most romantic places she had ever been to. The romance wasn't about ambiance, candlelight or secluded places to hide with a lover. There was simply a calmness and acceptance that made Jane feel even more drawn to Maura.
"Somehow being here with you is anything but discouraging," Maura replied, her voice was low, husky, and timid all at the same time. Her hazel eyes locked with Jane's gaze and she felt her heart quicken. "Maybe we can go out for dinner tonight and start fresh in the morning?"
"Why not start now?"
"Because I was hoping for a night to just enjoy Provincetown." Maura's honesty was always unwavering. "I was hoping to have some time for us to talk; maybe we could even be daring and discuss us?"
"Let's not get carried away, Dr. Isles."
Jane turned on her heel and headed toward where Maura had left her shoes. It was the exit off the beach closest to their car; Jane wanted to get settled and begin looking while the galleries were still open.
"Where are you going?" Maura called out seeing Jane several steps ahead of her. "Are you going to wait for me?" Maura scrambled to gain her footing in the sand. When she caught her, she paused only slightly to grab her designer heels. "You don't have to run, Jane."
"I'm not, I simply have long legs." Jane opened the car and took out both her bag and Maura's before heading toward the Inn. "A Rizzoli trait you seemed to admire, if my memory serves me well."
"Touché," Maura laughed as she took her small carry-on bag from Jane's hands and allowed Jane to carry the other two pieces of luggage. "You're heading in the wrong direction."
Jane turned around and watched Maura nod to a discrete staircase hidden within the garden area of the Inn.
"We have a private entrance. I rented Room Eight so we'd get a better view of the bay and sunset. It's right off the rooftop deck."
Jane looked up and saw a large patio decorated with two chaise lounge chairs and a table in between. It would provide the perfect view of the sunset over the bay and she smiled despite her original annoyance at changing hotels.
"It's beautiful isn't it?" Maura asked when she reached the top of the stairs and unlocked the door holding it open for Jane to enter their room with the bags. "It also has a fireplace, a whirlpool tub, and an amazing skylight that allows the natural light to shine in when the sun rises."
Jane took in the scenery; she mentally catalogued the various pieces of furniture, the décor that managed to be both simple and elegant at the same time. The room was bright; Jane's first thought was that the brochure Maura had read from minimized the effect of the skylight on the room. The light beat down on a small, floral patterned love seat that was strategically placed before a gas fireplace. Further into the room, opposite a wall of windows, was a queen-sized bed that completed the room nicely.
"The whirlpool is in the bathroom area," Maura pointed out as she watched various emotions flicker over Jane's face. She recognized happiness, but then saw a small bit of anxiety coupled with Jane's normal habit of biting her lower lip. Maura walked past her to investigate the bathroom area and simply brushed her hand across Jane's back in an effort to ease her tension. "The concierge recommended Commercial Street for a relaxed dinner. Apparently that's where all the stores are as well as the nightlife in Provincetown."
Maura placed her overnight bag on the counter and exited the bathroom stopping in the doorway. There, sitting on the bed staring out of the windows, was Jane. Her shoulders were rigid, her breathing more shallow than usual and, not that Maura needed additional clues to her demeanor, when Jane wiped her palms on her jeans Maura knew she was nervous.
She'll never survive a discussion about us if she doesn't relax.
Maura sat on the corner of the bed, careful not to sit too closely to Jane. When Jane turned to her and smiled, Maura returned it in spades.
How on earth did you get here, Rizzoli?
"Is it the room?"
Jane's eyebrows shot up in surprise before she cleared her throat to enable her to speak.
"No. No, the room is amazing."
"You seem extremely nervous since we walked into it."
"I'm not nervous," Jane said quietly as she forced herself to hold Maura's gaze. "This room is obviously amazing and you know you have great taste, Maura."
"I can't help you if you don't talk to me, Jane." Maura placed her hand on Jane's thigh and let out a nervous breath when she realized that Jane wasn't going to pull away.
"What makes you think I need help?"
"Because your posture is rigid, your breathing is shallow, and your facial expressions are classic nervousness or fear."
Damn her and her facial coding system.
"So that takes us back to my original question," Maura continued, "what is it that seems to have you on edge?"
"I feel like everything has changed," Jane admitted shocking both her and Maura with her frankness. "This is like a dream, Maura. Provincetown isn't reality for us, Boston is with our jobs, my family, our co-workers."
"When I said we should take advantage of Provincetown, Jane, I didn't mean I'd take advantage of you," Maura teased gently, hoping to keep the mood light enough for Jane to stay open. Maura stood and walked to the desk directly across from the bed. She sat on the corner, thankful that Jane remained sitting facing the windows as it made it impossible for her to avoid looking at Maura. "I don't think Provincetown is much different than our daily lives in Boston."
"We're sharing a bed, Maura."
"We've slept in the same bed several times, Jane."
"Twice," Jane answered curtly with a forced smile. "We slept in the same bed twice. Once when a completely psychotic serial killer was after me and once when you fell asleep meditating because I somehow stressed you out after you posted a lesbian profile for me to attract the attention of a killer."
"So if we were being stalked and had the potential of being killed by a crazed local lesbian you'd feel better about this?"
"I'm glad to see you've learned a little from your studies at the Rizzoli School of Sarcasm, Maura."
"Nothing needs to change right now, Jane." Maura noticed how rigid Jane's posture became at the mention of imminent change. "This can happen at whatever pace is comfortable for you. For me, it's already changed. Even if I could go back and pretend that kiss never happened, I'm done ignoring my attraction to you."
"So that's what this is about? Just attraction?" Jane got up and began pacing; another hint to Maura at the pent up nervous energy she was feeling.
"I think you know better than that," Maura offered. "It's about very much more. But the attraction and the potential of acting on that attraction seems to be a major source of concern."
"How do you even know you're attracted to me?" Jane paused only briefly, throwing out her question before returning to pacing the length of the room.
"Is that what this is about? You think this is impulsive for me?" Maura cocked her head at Jane.
"It could be; it could be an infatuation."
"Jane, do you really believe I would have even broached this with you if I hadn't thought it through completely? Do you think I would be pushing you to trust me and to put your feelings on the line if I wasn't sure how I felt? And when have you ever known me to be brash and impulsive?"
"Then what changed, Maura?" Jane stood her ground, complete with crossing her arms over her chest in defiance.
"Time." Maura remained calm, which seemed to add fuel to Jane's fire. "The more I got to know you, the more I realized that I loved you. Love takes on many forms, Jane; that's why I suggested we work together during this time away to define what works for us. I just have to be honest and tell you that I can't go back; I won't pretend I don't have feelings for you."
"Which could be classified as feelings one would have for a best friend," Jane offered. "You yourself told me you never had a best friend; maybe you're confusing the feelings of LLBFF's for something more."
"Are you?" Maura arched her eyebrow to challenge Jane. When no response came, she felt even more empowered to push on. "I know what you felt when we kissed, Jane. I felt your reaction, your desire."
Jane remained silent for a moment and then visibly relaxed, slumping on the bed. Maura fought the urge to view the move as Jane's surrender.
It's the small victories, Maura, that win the battle.
"Let's just say I had a reaction…" Jane began. Looking up, she saw a look of disappointment cloud over Maura's features. Jane growled under her breath; she didn't want to hurt anyone in her attempt to define her own feelings. "Ok, I had a reaction to kissing you; you're beautiful Maura. Both inside and out, despite the fact that you Google Mouth me to death."
"So you admit that we are both attracted to one another?"
"I admit I am attracted to you," Jane corrected.
"And I can tell you 100% unequivocally that I am attracted to you; inside and out."
"So where do we go from here?" Jane asked, slightly frustrated. "Do we pretend that nothing in our lives exists or matters back in Boston so that we can have this escape of Provincetown? And what happens when we go back? Our lives aren't in Provincetown where a relationship between two women is accepted, Maura."
"We live in Massachusetts, Jane, that's a far cry from the conservative, bible-belt states that don't allow gay marriage."
"Now you want to get married?" Jane's voice rose quickly and Maura couldn't help but laugh at Jane's leap in the conversation.
"No, I'm simply proposing that we share dinner and then share this room," Maura smiled warmly. "Maybe this is a good place for us to get comfortable with one another. We can act like we would on any other date and see where it goes."
"Oh god no, please tell me what's wrong with me ahead of time instead of ruining my dinner." Jane laughed at her own joke some of her tension easing.
"Well there's always a chance that we won't get that far in the meal before you scare me away with your detective persona that you use as a means to hide your insecurities and lack of ability at being open with other people. Very few people would actually put up with your abuse."
"We're some pair aren't we?" Jane chuckled softly as the humor of the comments wore off. "I don't always scare people off; I have asked for help occasionally and let people in."
Jane watched as Maura arched her eyebrow in question and immediately felt the need to defend her position.
"I showed up at your house the night Hoyt was looking for me did I not?" Maura nodded; having already catalogued that night in her mind it was no surprise that Jane would start there to argue her case. "When I had a nightmare about that boy that had the voodoo mother and the vase was broken on my floor; I called you then." Jane paused, a look of realization crossing her face. "My god do I always go to you when I need help?"
"It appears so." Maura did nothing to hide her smirk having felt special the times that Jane did come to her for help. "Maybe that's another reason why we're good together? We can lean on one another."
"Another sign of LLBFFs."
"Does it count that we spend an awful lot of our spare time with one another even after we've worked a full day together on a case?"
"Arguably best friend material."
"I don't kiss my best friends, Jane," Maura said softly, letting her eyes drift down to Jane's lips and then back up to her eyes slowly. "I don't have palpable sexual tension with my best friends."
"Well there's that." Jane's tongue darted out of her mouth quickly to wet her lips. Her eyes roamed Maura's body; she was absolutely perfect and before Jane recognized her defenses were crumbling, it was too late. "I don't fantasize about my best friends, male or female. Ever since that kiss I haven't been able to get you out of my mind."
"Nobody said you had to," Maura responded.
"I'm not just some horny teenager. I tend to think of the consequences of wanting you."
"Why does there have to be consequences to loving someone?"
Jane laughed despite herself, "Maura, you really are so pure at times; there are always consequences to loving someone. In this case, we both have a lot to lose."
"Maybe I think the risk is worth it, knowing how much I'd have to gain."
They were at a stalemate; neither woman willing to completely meet in the middle with compromise and yet neither ready to give up on their arguments pro or con of the relationship. Maura gave in; it always seemed when someone needed to call a 'time out' she was the adult who could do it between the two women.
"I'm going to change for dinner," Maura began, squaring her shoulders against any challenge from Jane. "We're going out for a nice dinner and frankly I don't care if it's the magic of Provincetown or just a vacation that allows us to be ourselves and try this dating thing, but we're going to go on a date, Jane. I think you'll find it isn't that scary."
Maura grabbed her suitcase and disappeared while Jane flopped back down on her back on the bed. She could hear Maura unzipping her suitcase and placing various things on the countertop likely freshening up her make-up and hair.
Maura opened the door to the bathroom and cleared her throat. Jane opened her eyes to see Maura leaning against the door jam watching her. Maura was dressed in a low-cut dress. It was emerald green, perfectly setting off her eyes, making them the most noticeable feature on her face. Her hair was causal; the wind had blown it and Jane assumed that Maura simply ran her fingers through it to have it fall back in place. Her heels were high; they perfectly accentuated her strong calf muscles and Jane felt a lump in her throat instantly. She swallowed, and then cleared her throat, and Maura turned around slowly with an expectant smile on her face.
"Do you like it?"
You will not act like a horny teenager, Rizzoli!
"You look beautiful," Jane's voice was husky, more so than usual, and it wasn't lost on Maura when Jane's pupils dilated. Her hands began to tingle as they rested next to her on the bed. Jane suddenly felt underdressed; she rose to her feet and stood before Maura, equal heights now that Maura had an advantage of four-inch heels. Jane licked her lips; her eyes never leaving Maura's as she struggled to catch her breath.
"Are you ready to go?" Maura's voice was barely a whisper; the tension between then blatant. "I didn't make reservations but we could just walk down to Commercial Street…."
Maura stopped thinking when she saw Jane's head tilt to the side, her eyes close, and her lips part slightly before touching them to Maura's in a passionate kiss.