Chapter 3 An Understanding/A Message

3.1

They ate breakfast in silence.

Smiles were exchanged and the usual shared glances that spoke of much more.

Castle cleared the table and while at the kitchen sink, he could feel Beckett's stare burning into his back. He turned around and Beckett was sitting at the dining table, waiting for him to join her. He gave her a smile and approached. And once more they sat opposite each other like they had done a few years ago. The time to talk was now.

From past experiences, whenever there was an opportunity to discuss their relationship or how they felt, they would always be interrupted in one way or another. Now, it was just the two of them. Most of the time nervous couples would talk at the same time, in the case of Castle and Beckett, there was no awkwardness, just acceptance. As she always did, Beckett took the lead.

"I never told you this, but I once waited for over an hour to get your autograph"

Castle's eyes widened and he uttered a short laugh

"Is that right?"

"Your books helped me to get through my mother's murder and now you've helped me put her murder behind me. I once told a victim's daughter that it would be very hard for her to get over the death of her mother but that one day she would wake up and she would be able to live with the weight of her death. That's how I've dealt with it Castle. Everyday, I would wake up, knowing she was gone, and those responsible for her death were still free. That was my life, I didn't have anything else to look forward to, until I met you."

All through this, Castle smiled encouragement. For the amount of time they had spent together, he didn't really know much about her. Then he realized, she had decided to let him "in". The emotional reliance to have someone listen and for that someone to understand her hopes and fears required her trust. As he had implored her, she had now accepted him as being more than a partner.

Beckett retold Castle what happened yesterday. Her voice started to break when she described the harrowing moment of dangling from the edge of the roof. What made it worst was Castle's expression. She broke eye contact and looked down at her hands.

"I'm not sure if I saw my life flash before my eyes, but one thing I did know, I didn't want to die and that all I could think of was I wouldn't be able to see you again"

With a wry smile she said "For a minute there I actually thought you were calling me, telling me to hang on. It was Ryan and Gates was with him, Ryan pulled me off the ledge".

Beckett raised her head and once more looked at Castle. His blue eyes were wide with concern, but mostly relief, he had already been holding her hands and gave them a comforting squeeze, prompting her to go on.

"You've seen Gates mad right? Well this was ten times worse. She dumped both Espo and I onto desk duty. And then I realized, the only reason I wanted to be a cop was it gave me a slim chance of being able to find the people who murdered my mother. Everything I've done has been because of her murder. Once a week I would go to her grave and ask her if she was proud of what I had made of myself and that I would never stop until I found the people who killed her."

"When Gates ordered me to hand over my badge, I decided that if the only reason I became a cop was because of my mother's murder, then I was doing the job for the wrong reasons. I realized there's more to life than obsessively pursuing something from the past. I decided I wanted more, that I wanted to be with you" she said the last with a wan smile.

"I know I hurt you, dismissed you and I hope you forgive me. I know I have a chance to have a future with someone and a chance to be happy" Beckett said the last ernestly, eyes shining with emotion.

Castle gave her hands another squeeze and gave a deep sigh.

"I maybe a wordsmith, but I believe what we - *I* did last night showed that I gladly accepted your apology."

Beckett blushed.

"I've made the decision to move on with my life, I'm heading down to the precinct, Gates wants to see me, probably to fill in paperwork as part of my resignation and then meet Lainie for lunch at the Old Haunt, you're coming with me right?" the last sounded innocent, but to Castle she sounded anxious about his response.

"Are you kidding! After what's happened the last couple of days, I'm not letting you out of my sight! Although I have a counter proposal, actually more of a different thought process with the whole paperwork business".

Beckett gave him a questioning look "And what would that be?"

3.2

Castle was silent for a moment, weighing up what he was going to say. He simply adored the woman sitting opposite him and he would do anything to make her happy and protect her, even from herself. He had thought Beckett should take a break from catching bad guys. However, he also knew he did not want to be the person responsible for stopping Beckett from doing what she did best.

Finally Castle looked into Beckett's eyes.

"You said you didn't want to be a cop anymore because you wanted to let go of the past and you thought you were doing the job for the wrong reasons. This may sound selfish, but you also said you didn't want to be a cop anymore because you wanted to be with me. You may not realize it, but you have always helped people move forward from their own tragedies. You know how hard it is to get over someone you loved being taken away, you help bring closure to families who have suffered. You were doing something great, something your mother would have been proud of. If you are really going to move forward with your life, then you need to be strong enough to move forward from your own tragedy while also helping people to move forward with their own heartbreak.

I know enough about you to know you have always wanted to help people. It's ingrained but you never want anyone to help you. Never had anyone to talk to, but I'm here now, I'm with you and I'm glad. And I'll be there to help YOU.

"What are you saying Castle?"

"You're too good of a cop to just walk away from the job".

Castle put his hand up as Beckett was about to object.

"You said Gates wanted to see you? Why would the Captain want to see someone who just quit her precinct. You just need to fill in paperwork and you'll be out of her bullpen. "

Beckett bit her lip thoughtfully.

"Maybe she wants details for her investigation on Montgomery and what happened the last few days?"

"How about this, you go to the Precinct, once you find out what she wants, you can then meet me at The Old Haunt with Lainie and tell us all about it. I'm sure Gates would arrest me if she ever saw me in the precinct.

"I'm not going to beg her for my job back Castle. Before all I had was the job but now...and besides I can always take the bar exam.

"I know I know" Castle raised his hands in supplication "just find out what she wants, she may even reject your resignation"

Beckett eyed Castle suspiciously

"You're not going to call your pal the Mayor for a favour are you"

Castle shook his head, it was going to be tough to surprise her on special occassions, she may not want to be a cop anymore, but she'll never lose

the instinct.

Special Occassions, future special occassions.

He liked the sound of that.

"Scout's honour" replied Castle with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Beckett gave him another glare

"Just go see Gates, like she asked you to. I'll try and run some interference on your behalf on Lainie, so she doesn't bombard you with questions"

Beckett gave up "Fine, but I'm going home first seeing as someone was on my mind last night, I didn't get a chance to get home and change.

"Why were they soaking wet in the first place?"

"Let's just say I did some thinking in the rain"

Castle smiled. He had written a scene like that in his novels many times.

As they stood up, Castle pulled her close and kissed her hard.

He pulled back and saw the surprised expression on her face.

"I'm glad I was on your mind last night"

He gave her another quick kiss on top of her head

"I'll see you later, Old Haunt okay?"

Without another word, he went into his bedroom, leaving a stunned Beckett, still recovering from the kiss with a sly smile.

3.3

Castle heard Beckett shutting the front door.

And as per usual, his mind began its trick of cataloguing everything that had happened so far, looking for things that could have been missed,
surprise twists and turns and surprise characters.

These thoughts zeroed in on one thing or person to be exact. The voice at the other end of the phone, the dark figure in the parking garage.

Castle needed to talk to him.

There was still the matter of a conspiracy to kill anyone connected to Johanna Beckett.

They had talked but about the future. They had not talked about the fact that Beckett now knew the man who had tried to kill her and that when
these "Shadowmen" as Castle liked to call them found out that Beckett was still alive, they would be gunning for her.

Castle needed to get in contact with Mr. Deep Throat. Now if only there was a numb- then he remembered he did have a number. He quickly grabbed his phone and called the number.

The phone seemed to ring for ages before going to voice mail.

"Mr. Castle, if you are hearing this message, I'm probably dead..."

Castle stopped breathing, while the message continued

"..so I would direct you to Sterling National Bank at Park Avenue, safety deposit box 187, documents located in there may just may save your Detective Beckett's life"

Castle hurriedly wrote the details down and the message ended.

Documents? Mr Deep Throat dead? Then his skin turned cold, save Beckett's life? Dressing quickly, he started searching for the bank's location on his phone.

A/N It's weird how some things just find their way into the storyline. It was hard to find a way for Castle to try and convince Beckett to stay a cop. This was the best I could do, maybe it's too soft an approach, I'm sure you'll let me know. Castle always has a murder as part of the episode storyline. I actually have a murder for this story but with the supposed "death" of Mr. Deep Throat, that could be one more body, although that body may never be found. Next Chapter should hopefully be done by tomorrow morning. Hopefully reviews won't be as "constructive" as 'Una Marconi's' review of Martha Rodger's performance in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof ; )