Hello all! I am your host, Luna Elen, and this is AskACharacter101. With me today are guest speakers Estela and Adonnenniel. They are very excited to be here, and have asked me to relay a special shout out to all of you in the audience who asked questions and made this show possible. Thank you!
Alright, so this is how it's going down: The interview will be divided up into three separate sections. I will first interview Estela with questions from the readers, and then Adonnenniel. At the end, I will answer questions that were directed at me. This interview will be written in script style. You'll see what I mean. Happy reading!
Lights up to reveal a small stage. A coffee table with a green tablecloth is center stage and around it are two beige reclining chairs and a large green couch. Coffee mugs sit on the table, along with a tray of finger food. Luna walks onstage, and is followed by Estela and Adonnenniel. Adonnenniel plops down on the couch, while Luna and Estela take the chairs. Adonnenniel looks curiously at the finger food. Estela watches Luna warily. Luna smiles widely, and launches into the show…
LUNA: Thanks for meeting with me today, girls! I'm so excited you joined me!
ESTELA: Someone's bubbly. Too much coffee perhaps?
LUNA: Nope, that's just job criteria. I'm serving as a talk show host. A smile and a cherry voice are mandated.
ESTELA: Then what's the difference between a talk show host and a solicitor?
LUNA: One compliments you because they want to sell you something, and the other compliments you because you're on live TV.
ESTELA: What? We're on live? How'd that happen?
LUNA: Hey, hey, I ask the questions here. And I was just kidding. We're not really live.
ADONNENNIEL: Hey, Luna, what's up with this finger food?
LUNA (confused): What do you mean?
ADONNENNIEL: Well…It's bread, fruit, and cheese. Remind you of anything?
LUNA: Oh dear. I'm sorry. Just a sec.
(Luna stands up and runs backstage)
ESTELA (sighing): Why exactly did we agree to do this? I don't think Luna's very professional with this kind of thing.
ADONNENNIEL: Lighten up, girl! You gotta chillax. This is gonna be fun. As long as she brings me something that's not reminiscent of Lothlorien dinners.
LUNA (running back onstage): I come bearing food! (dramatically swoops over the table and puts another tray down) This one contains sweets!
ADONNENNIEL (shamelessly diving into the food): Yes! This is so much better! Thank you.
LUNA: Now that we've got that worked out, are you ladies ready to start?
ADONNENNIEL: This chocolate's great! What is it, Swiss?
ESTELA: It's Hershey. Look at the wrapper. (turning towards Luna) I'm ready to start.
LUNA: Good. I'm going to interview you first, Estela, and then your sister. So Adonnenniel, I'm going to have to ask you to go backstage for the next ten minutes or so.
ADONNENNIEL: Why?
LUNA: Because we have certain questions that your sister should be allowed to answer without you being here.
ADONNENNIEL: Well then. Fine. Do your top secret stuff. Can I take the food with me though?
LUNA: Yes.
ADONNENNIEL: Great. See you guys in ten. (Grabs food and walks back stage)
LUNA (picks up a coffee mug and sips slowly): Alright, Estela, let's begin. My first question for you comes from Miss Cuttlefish, who has been following the story for quite some time now. She is wondering what your favorite book is.
ESTELA: Oh my God! Naturally this would be the first question!
LUNA: Is there a problem with the question?
ESTELA: No, no, not at all! It's a great question, it's just that I don't think I can properly answer. And I have a personal vendetta not with the question itself, but with when it's asked. See, it's just that the second I tell people I love reading, that's the first thing they ask! And at summer camps or on the first day of school, counselors and teachers always do the whole 'tell us your first name, a hobby, and your favorite book' thing. It drives me insane! Because truth be told, choosing a favorite book is unreservedly, utterly, wholly, and irrevocably impossible.
LUNA: Umm…Would you like to try some tiramisu, Estela? It's quite good.
ESTELA: Oh. Yes, please. In a minute. Sorry about that rant.
LUNA: It's alright. How about you just tell our audience a few books you really love? Or books you have read multiple times?
ESTELA (nodding): Okay. Not to sound cliché, but I love Harry Potter. The Goblet of Fire is my favorite. I also love, though I'm willing to bet that nobody has heard of this one, The Princess and the Hound by Mette Ivie Harrison. It's a retelling of Beauty and the Beast. Her writing style is just so beautiful and fluid, and her dialogue is some of the best I've ever read. Another book I thought was wonderfully written was The Book Thief. It's a Holocaust novel, so it was not a light read obviously. It's written from the perspective of Death, which I thought gave the book such a unique texture. Another Holocaust book I liked, and I am certain nobody has heard of this one either, is Anne Frank and Me. It's a fast read, but very moving. I cried several times while reading it, particularly because the main character's relationship with her little sister reminded me intensely of myself and Adonnenniel. After reading it, I always feel kinder to my sister because it really makes you reconsider how pointless things such as jealousy are. But I'm getting off topic.
LUNA: Any other books you enjoy before we move onto the next question?
ESTELA: Yes. I enjoy anything by Ann Rinaldi. She writes historical fiction, and weaves her research into the books seamlessly. My current favorite by her is Hang a Thousand Trees with Ribbons. I think I've mentioned all the contemporary authors I currently like. I also enjoy classical literature, however. A Tale of Two Cities was particularly good, and I thought Lord of the Flies and Wuthering Heights were alright. But in general, I prefer contemporary novels to classics.
LUNA: I hated Lord of the Flies.
ESTELA: Yeah, it wasn't the best. I liked the writing style, but I argued with my ninth grade English teacher that it should have been called Symbolism for Dummies.
LUNA (laughing): True that. Well, that question certainly got you talking.
ESTELA (picking up coffee mug and drinking): Yep. Time for the next question?
LUNA: Do you still want some tiramisu?
ESTELA (takes the tiramisu and eats slowly): Sure.
LUNA: Alright. This question changes topics just slightly. DorkynessOnSteroids is wondering if you are attracted to Boromir.
ESTELA (drops tiramisu on the floor and looks shocked): No, not at all.
LUNA: You had a pretty strong reaction there. Are you sure?
ESTELA (cleaning up mess and nodding): Absolutely. Let me tell you something about my personality: I am very picky where it comes to males. I only dated two people in high school, but they were both semi long term relationships. I wouldn't ever get with someone who I have any reservations about.
LUNA: And what are your reservations about Boromir?
ESTELA: Well, first of all, even though I want to save him, I don't know how the whole messing with the plot thing will work. He could die anyway. And if he doesn't, don't you think the Ring will continue to affect him? I bet it would become even worse, because he wouldn't have had that moment of epiphany with Aragorn. Also, a very simple reason is that he and I don't share any common interests and we haven't talked about anything except personal problems before. Not that I don't mind him, that is. I think he's perfectly nice when he's not letting the Ring and his daddy issues get to him.
LUNA: You sound like you've thought a lot on this, though.
ESTELA (chuckling): Are you trying to get me to say that I like him? Because I don't. Really.
LUNA (clearing throat): Here's a less personal question, Estela. This one's from Mei. What kind of people do you hang out with in school?
ESTELA: The dorks. You probably could've guessed that. But I hang out with the quiet dorks. See, there are two types of dorks. Dorks who are in theatre, who make inappropriate jokes, sing songs from musicals during lunch, and are generally loud and shameless. Then there are the quiet and more reserved dorks, who have neat rooms, like to study, but also make dorky references quite often. I contently fit on with quiet dork side, but I do have friends on the other end of the spectrum as well. I'm quiet during school, and talkative on weekends when I hang out with my friends. Though sometimes it's fun to talk with the jocks or the popular girls if I happen to be sitting next to them in classes. Some of them can be pretentious and annoying, but others are willing to be door to door friends. You know what that means? Friends who will talk with you a lot during class, but then the second you walk out the door they ignore you. But I guess that's just the way high school works.
LUNA: Unfortunately, I think that's true. Here's another question from Mei. This one goes back to sensitive topics. Sorry. Here's how she phrased it: About your looks, are you not pretty, or do you just consider yourself not pretty in comparison with your sister?
ESTELA (looking shocked): Umm…I mean, I'm not ugly, I suppose, I mean, all girls are pretty in one way or another. But I'm not drop dead gorgeous or strikingly attractive. I don't have perfect skin, my hair is sometimes unmanageable, and my eyes are kind of small. But I mean, I am slender. And when my hair's cooperating it looks fine, and I like its color. Same with my eyes. I'm sorry, I'm being incoherent. That question just shocked me.
LUNA: Here's a question from another reader, Erugalatha, that ties in with the previous one. Why are you jealous of your sister? She says that you two are very different, and that you are better than Adonnenniel in some ways even if they are more subtle.
ESTELA: It's her looks. Any girl would be jealous and consider themselves unattractive if they were standing next to Adonnenniel. The key words there are any girl and consider. It's not like I'm a normally jealous person, but living with someone who could be a supermodel eventually starts hurting your ego and fostering jealousy. Let me paint a picture for you. Imagine the prettiest girl you know, someone who's figure or hair or whatever you might envy, and then imagine living with her. You have to see her when you wake up every morning. She looks gorgeous even without any makeup on. You watch her put on makeup and nice clothes, and transform into something with an almost alien beauty. You see her in the halls at school with a circle of other good looking friends surrounding her. You see her at lunch, laughing and flipping her hair and sitting with a bunch of other people, particularly boys, who vie for her attention. On weekends, it's a Friday night and you're home alone. You're eating Nutella off a spoon and re-watching Star Wars while she's out at some party.
LUNA: But do you deny your own, as Erugalatha phrased it, less subtle attributes?
ESTELA: No, not at all! Don't get me wrong. I like myself and am content with the way I am. I can't imagine myself without my love of history or my books. Sure, I might fit in with Adonnenniel's group of friends I wanted to, but it just wouldn't be me.
LUNA: I see what you mean. Do you think your jealousy of Adonnenniel is going to play a farther part in this story?
ESTELA: Oh, of course. I'm not sure in what way, but I definitely think it will.
LUNA (grinning): Only I know the answer to that one, huh?
ESTELA: For now. Next question?
LUNA: Yes. I have an interesting one from Erugalatha. She asked if you like the architecture in Middle Earth or earth better.
ESTELA: Oh! Great question, but it's difficult to say. The architecture in Middle Earth, as you know, is infused with magic and therefore grander. However, the history behind the architecture back home is incredible. I mean, I suppose that anybody could build a large wall, but it takes five hundred years of Mongol attacks, aggressive conscription, and almost fairy tale like stories of Emperors to make a wall worth visiting. You know what I mean? The architecture here, or at least what I've seen so far, is far more visually impressive than that of earth's. But the history surrounding the different aspects of human architecture is so fascinating.
LUNA: Erugalatha also asked if you have seen any architecture in Middle Earth that reminded you of Egyptian architecture, as in pyramids.
ESTELA (sighing): I wish. That would be so neat. But remember that pyramids were actually used as elaborate tombs for royalty. I don't know if they would serve the same purpose here if there is anything like them. I'll be on the lookout though.
LUNA (shuffling papers) : Sorry about this, Estela, but I have another question regarding Boromir.
ESTELA: Oh dear.
LUNA: Song in the woods is wondering if you still care enough about Boromir to save him.
ESTELA (nodding vigorously): Yes. There's no doubt about it. I'm going to do everything within my power to save him. Absolutely. He might be depressing and brooding at times, but it's really not his fault. And even if it was, I would still save him.
LUNA: Alright, we're going to change topics again.
ESTELA (nodding): Please do.
LUNA: Another reader, Iellwen Silima, is curious as to what classes in school you enjoy other than history and English.
ESTELA: Hmmm. That's a tricky question, because except for history and English, I like all of my other classes equally. But there is one class I'm slightly more partial to, though it might sound blasphemous to all of you creative folks out there in the audience. I like algebra. See, it's just all logic, and it makes sense to me. But don't get me wrong. I'm not deeply passionate about math, and I don't spend my free time mulling over equations. It's just a predictable and easy subject for me.
LUNA: That is indeed blasphemous.
ESTELA: Oh well. We all have our secret pleasures.
LUNA: Changing topics again…I have a question from restoringthehistory, who is wondering if you have ever seen an Elf with less than perfect hair. She says that it seems the wardens, even after climbing out of the trees, seem to not have one hair out of place.
ESTELA (bursting out laughing): Give a minute, please. (more laughter)
LUNA (after a moment): Are you done laughing, Estela?
ESTELA: Haha. Yes. Great question. I have actually not seen an Elf with less than perfect hair! It's ridiculous! If this story was switched around, and some Elves from Middle Earth got sent to our world instead, then they could all go into hair modeling. Also, whenever there's been a battle or when we're sword fighting, Aragorn' hair gets all sweaty. Legolas', however, is still impeccably shiny and clean. Even if he doesn't wash it for days, it's still gorgeous. Oh God, I love his hair. There have been so many times when I really just want to touch it, you know? And sometimes I wonder if his face…
LUNA: Estela. Stop. You're revealing internal thoughts that have not yet been fully revealed for the audience.
ESTELA: …Is also as soft as it looks. You know, normally I don't have these kinds of thoughts about guys. I'm not the type of girl who swoons over romance novels. He's just kind of grown on me slowly. I mean, at first I really didn't like him at all. For instance, I found his habit of stating the obvious to be kind of weird and annoying, but it's just kind of endearing now, and I think….
LUNA: ESTELA!
ESTELA (blinking) : …Yes?
LUNA: STOP.
ESTELA (blushing intensely): Oh dear! I didn't mean any of that! I…I just got carried away.
LUNA: Next question. NOW. Blue Dragon of Rivendell wants to know what your favorite food is.
ESTELA: Oh…Umm…food…
LUNA (sighing): Yes, Estela. Food. Now answer the question.
ESTELA: Crepes. I love crepes. Nutella and banana is the best.
LUNA: Thank you. She is also wondering what your opinion of Adonnenniel is.
ESTELA (surprised): Adonnenniel? She's my sister, what can I say? I love her, and I can be a bit overprotective of her at times, and of course there's the whole jealousy issue we delved into earlier. Although jealousy tends to make me feel mad at myself for being so petty. Not towards Adonnenniel herself. I also think she's a bit of a blonde. No offense to actual blondes in the audience. But I can't imagine Adonnenniel without her innocent ditzyness, and she can be intelligent when she wants to be.
LUNA (looking at papers): Oh dear.
ESTELA: What's wrong?
LUNA: I have another question involving Legolas. Do you think you can handle it?
ESTELA: Yes. Sorry about earlier, by the way.
LUNA: That's taboo now, Estela. We will not speak of what you said earlier.
ESTELA (nodding): Like Voldemort's name in the Deathly Hallows.
LUNA: This one is from Scylla's revenge. Does the age difference between you and Legolas bother you? Even without the immortality part, Legolas would still be about ten years older than you.
ESTELA (long silence before answering): You know, that's an interesting question. I really haven't even thought about the age difference until now. Not once. But I suppose the answer would be no, it doesn't bother me, simply because I really don't think about it. Do you think it bothers him?
LUNA: Actually, in Elvish culture, an age difference in companions or spouses means less than it does in human culture. So I don't think it would bother him. Especially considering what Galadriel told you back in chapter nine about you and Adonnenniel turning into Elves.
ESTELA: I see.
LUNA: Scylla's revenge has another question for you. If given a choice, would you want to stay in Middle Earth or go home?
ESTELA: Well, to stay in Middle Earth would be my immediate answer, but it would really depend on the circumstances.
LUNA: I would ask you farther questions about what circumstances would prompt you to make that decision, but we're running out of time. And also, I just don't want to give anything away…See, she also asked me if you will have to make this choice sometime down the road. And my answer to that is no comment. Sorry.
ESTELA: I'm guessing I will. That would create some great dramatic suspense.
LUNA (clearing her throat): Blue Dragon of Rivendell has one more question that I missed earlier. Here it is. What can't you live without?
ESTELA: Books.
LUNA: That was a pretty immediate response.
ESTELA: Well, it's true. Books encompass everything from fantasy and pleasure reading to history textbooks and realistic fiction. There's no way I could live without them.
LUNA: Alright, next question. Sorry we're kind of barreling through them right now, this interview is getting long.
ESTELA (grinning): Barrel away!
LUNA: asked what you are most looking forward to in the events to come.
ESTELA: Hmm. I think I'd have to say Rohan, actually, and for several reasons. I miss my horses, and I've been dying to go riding just for pleasure. Also, I would get to meet Eowyn! That's pretty exciting right there.
LUNA: also has some plot related questions for you, one of which you don't have the answer for because I do. Muwahahaha.
ESTELA: Nice evil laugh.
LUNA: You think? I've been practicing. So here's the first question. Could you possibly save Haldir or some other Elves during the Elvish massacre at Helms' Deep later on in the story?
ESTELA (sighing): You know, that's always been my least favorite part of the story, and if I could change it that would be great. But I don't exactly know how it would work if I tried to change the original plot. It might not affect it at all, or it might have drastic unintentional consequences. I think I'm already pushing the envelope a bit with deciding to save Boromir. I don't even know if that will work.
LUNA: Only I know if it will work. (laughs evilly again)
ESTELA: Humph. Fine. Be like that. What's the second question?
LUNA: The second question is if you will go with Frodo and Sam or with Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli after the breaking of the Fellowship. Only I know the answer to this, but you can guess if you want.
ESTELA: Hmm. I'm guessing that I'll go with Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli, and maybe Adonnenniel will go with Sam and Frodo.
LUNA: …Umm…No comment. Next question. Now. iLikePie is wondering if you've ever had a boyfriend before.
ESTELA (surprised): Yes. Two, actually. Both during my senior year of high school. I never considered dating before then, but they were both very close to me to begin with. We broke up just because we decided being in a relationship was kind of awkward and we just wanted to be friends. It was the same in both cases.
LUNA (shuffling through papers): Hmmm. It appears I missed a question earlier.
ESTELA: From who?
LUNA: Miss Cuttlefish. She had asked two, and I forgot to ask you the second one. It's Legolas related again.
ESTELA (solemnly): I can contain myself.
LUNA: Alright then. Who do you think it hotter-Legolas or Aragorn?
ESTELA (gaping): What do you mean by 'hot'?
LUNA: Umm…that would be slang, Estela.
ESTELA: Yes, yes, I know that. It's just…I can't think of them as hot. You know?
LUNA: Alright then. Allow me to rephrase it. Which one do you find most attractive?
ESTELA: Isn't it obvious?
LUNA: Yes. And I really don't want you to start rambling again, so let's move on.
ESTELA: Okay.
LUNA: Here's an interesting question from Punk Rocker Fairy. She phrased it quite bluntly, but please don't show your character flaw and get defensive, okay?
ESTELA: Umm…Alright.
LUNA: She's wondering when you're going to tell your sister about the Prophecy and that avoiding the problem won't make it go away.
ESTELA (barely containing frustration): Next question. NOW.
LUNA: Aaah, but I can't do that. You agreed to answer every question.
ESTELA: This is personal. I have the right to remain silent.
LUNA: We're not in court, Estela. Just answer the question.
ESTELA (fuming): And this isn't the freaking Spanish Inquisition! I'm not answering it!
LUNA: Okay, okay, calm down. I'll answer for you then.
ESTELA (standing up suddenly): No, you won't. Don't you dare!
LUNA (rolling her eyes): Estela, the other reasons you're not telling her is going to be revealed soon anyway. Spoiler alert: A certain blonde person isn't done bothering you about your decision not to tell Adonnenniel.
ESTELA: Great. Lovely. Now I have that to look forward to. Next question. Please. Don't make me answer this right now, I'm not ready.
LUNA (shaking her head): Geez! I'm never writing a defensive character again. But you know what, I'll drop it for now. Please sit back down.
ESTELA (frowning): Fine. (sits down stiffly)
LUNA: Would you like some more tiramisu?
ESTELA (tentatively): Sure. But exotic desserts aren't going to make me calm down and answer, you know.
LUNA: Yes, they will. I spiked them with Polyjuice Potion.
ESTELA (smiling slowly): Don't you mean Veritaserum?
LUNA: Oh shoot! I always get those two confused.
ESTELA: That's fine. Try serving it in pumpkin juice next time though. More classy.
LUNA: Aaah. That's Snape style, right?
ESTELA: Indeed. Next question? You've broken 3,900 words…
LUNA: Hey. This is allowed to be long. I'm taking a while to post it, after all. Plus, my Muse is just going wild right now! I keep getting idea after idea about character development, dialogue, and plot twists. But you're right, next question. Lord-of-the-ringsworm asked if you ever changed back into your overalls after you put on a dress in Lothlorien.
ESTELA (dawning realization): You know what? I don't even know what happened to my overalls! I took them off while I was changing, folded them, and draped them in the bathroom. I'll have to ask Adonnenniel if she has any idea what happened to them. Hmmm.
LUNA (laughing): I think I might know what happened to them.
ESTELA: Really? What?
LUNA: I'll tell you later. (standing up) And we are out of time for Estela, folks!
ESTELA (muttering): Only took you 4,000 words.
LUNA (not having heard Estela): We will resume this interview after a brief intermission. Now would be a good time for a bathroom break, or raiding your kitchen for something to munch on. I know I always do the latter while reading stories on this site. I know I'm going to get some ice cream. See you again in fifteen minutes!
Black out. Curtains close. Cue random music...Jazzy piano drift.
Lights up. Curtains open to reveal the same coffee table, reclining chairs, and couch. Adonnenniel is lounging on the couch, looking quite content, and Luna is sitting in one of the reclining chairs.
ADONNENNIEL: Oh, my gosh! This is so exciting! I've never done an interview before. I mean, I've done main stage performances, a bunch of musicals, and of course Shakespeare. But this is a first for me!
LUNA (grinning): I'm glad you think so.
ADONNENNIEL: You sound relieved, Luna. Did Estela give you a hard time?
LUNA: Somewhat. Though I'm sure you will, too. We're going to touch on some pretty sensitive issues.
ADONNENNIEL: I'm totally cool with sensitive issues. Don't worry about me.
LUNA: Good.
ADONNENNIEL (eyeing the coffee table): Say, is that tiramisu?
LUNA: Yes. It served as a calming device in my last interview.
ADONNENNIEL: Never deny the powers of desserts. They can do wonders. A girls' happiness is directly proportional to how much sugar is careening through her blood stream.
LUNA: …Where'd that come from? You said careening. And proportional.
ADONNENNIEL: I read that in a book, actually. It's called Model. You should read it. Or at least include a random quote from in at the beginning of the next chapter. It's like, the only book I read more than once.
LUNA: That explains it. You ready for some questions now?
ADONNENNIEL: Totally!
LUNA: Miss Cuttlefish has asked the following: Who do you think is hotter-Legolas or Aragorn?
ADONNENNIEL: Oh my God. Are all the questions going to be this hard? They're both gorgeous, of course, but I think I'd have to go with Aragorn. I mean, Legolas is pretty and all, but he's just so…soft somehow. Aragorn is more badass. Excuse the language.
LUNA (laughing): Okay. You're excused. She is also wondering what you think of the nickname 'Enni'.
ADONNENNIEL: Enni? How did you know? That used to be my nickname in grade school before any of my classmates could pronounce my real name. It wore off in like fifth grade because I realized I actually liked my real name. It's pretty and unique. Like moi.
LUNA: It's also very modest.
ADONNENNIEL (contemplatively): Modest? You think so?
LUNA (scoffing): Of course. And just as a side note to Miss Cuttlefish, the suggested nickname will appear sometime later in the story. Much later. But I know which character I'm going to have mispronounce Adonnenniel's name and then have to resort to using a nickname. Thanks for the suggestion, it'll spice up that part of the story. Alright, Adonnenniel. Here's a question from DorkynessOnSteroids, who wants to know what your favorite role in a play or musical has been so far.
ADONNENNIEL: Oh! That's even harder than the Aragorn vs Legolas one! Ugh.
LUNA: Just try your best, sweetie.
ADONNENNIEL: Okay. This might sound morbid, but I think my favorite role has to be Lady Macbeth. She was just such a special part. It really expanded my acting horizons, and I found some sort of weird appeal in playing a crazy murderer. And I feel like…
LUNA: What's wrong? You stopped talking.
ADONNENNIEL (wide eyed): Oh no.
LUNA: What?
ADONNENNIEL: We're all doomed. You should stop the interview.
LUNA: What are you talking about? Do I need to give you some tiramisu?
ADONNENNIEL: No. Desserts won't help. Not this time. I said the M word!
LUNA (confused): I don't think I quite…
ADONNENNIEL (standing up, pacing): Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. The last time this happened, I was performing in Oklahoma. Ado Annie's pushup bra broke, and nobody had one that fit her, so we had a flat Ado Annie for the rest of the play after scene three. We couldn't find the hair spray between one of the dance numbers, so Curly's hair deflated. One of the set pieces for the Dream Ballet fell. And it was elevated, so that was really bad. And it was all my fault! And now it's going to happen again.
LUNA: Adonnenniel. Nobody on this set is using hair spray or push up bras. And we don't have any set pieces except for the coffee table. Now sit down.
ADONNENNIEL: You still don't get it, do you? I said…I said…Lady…Well, you know! In a theatre!
LUNA: Lady Macbeth?
ADONNENNIEL (shrilly): Don't say it again!
LUNA: What's the big deal?
ADONNENNIEL: You don't know? Anyone who's in theatre knows this. The name is cursed. Like, when the play was first performed at the Globe Theatre, the stage caught on fire. Ever since then, there's been this myth that saying the M word will ruin a production.
LUNA (sighing): That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Please just sit down. If something happens, then I'll claim responsibility for it.
ADONNENNIEL: Humph. Fine. Just don't blame me when something explodes or disappears.
LUNA: Thank you. Here's the next question. Mei is wondering how many boyfriends you've had.
ADONNENNIEL: Hmm…Let me think a minute. (counts on fingers, and then promptly runs out of fingers) I think about twelve. But I started dating when I was in like seventh grade, and a lot of them were only one week things.
LUNA: Good Lord. That's a lot of boys.
ADONNENNIEL: Yeah. After a while they kinda start blurring together.
LUNA: Oh dear. Adonnenniel, I'm really sorry, but we're going to have to speed things up a bit. See, I've broken 5,000 words, which is longer than an actual chapter! So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to ask you a question, and then you answer. No more getting sidetracked.
ADONNENNIEL: Aaaaw. But getting sidetracked is half the fun! But fine. Whatever.
LUNA: Erugalatha has asked the following: If you were to compare Middle Earth to our Earth which one would be the best? And where in which areas would it win? In which areas are Middle Earth best and in which are Earth best?
ADONNENNIEL: Earth is the best. By far. It wins in every area. Even in things such as scenery. I mean, they've got the Misty Mountains or whatever, and we've got Scotland. Scotland is beautiful! I've always wanted to go there. And of course, now I'm afraid I'll never get the chance to if we're stuck in Magic Dark Lord Ruling Land forever. I mean, sure, I can appreciate the architecture of Moria, but then on the flip side we've got things trying to kill us. The mountainous scenery was incredible, but the snow put a damper on it. I think I'd like this place better if we weren't doing the whole quest thing. And Earth is better technology wise, of course. I really miss facebook, youtube, and even google at this point! I want my cell phone, internet access, all my friends, a party, normal clothes, my own room back…
LUNA: Okay. Got it. Song in the woods asked if you hated having to learn how to spell your name. She says that hers is long, but not as long as yours.
ADONNENNIEL: Actually, I had no problem learning how to spell it. Nobody believes me when I say that, so I won't blame you if you don't, but it's true. I've always loved my name. I mean, of course when I was in like first grade, it threw me off a little. I'd be sitting next to Lucy, John, and Bob, and they'd all be staring at me like I had three heads. That's why I changed it to Enni for grade school.
LUNA: Gotcha. Restoringthehistory asked the following: You have spent sometime with the elves. I know that their singing is beautiful, but have you gotten sick of it yet? Do you ever just want to belt something out like a gospel singer, just to break the mold?
ADONNENNIEL: Oh. My God. Girl, you totally read my mind! YES! There have been so many times at dinner when I want to break out into broad way songs, like from Wicked or something. I mean, their singing is great and all, and I'm not sick of it per say, but I would like some variety. Not gospel music, though. Gospel music scares me.
LUNA (laughing): I would ask you why Gospel music scares you, but I need to move on. Blue Dragon of Rivendell has asked what your favorite food is.
ADONNENNIEL: Mushroom lasagna with goat cheese.
LUNA: …Goat cheese?
ADONNENNIEL: Yes, goat cheese! Why are you looking at me like that? It's flavor is light, but it leaves a rich after taste, and its texture is so fluffy. Excuse me for having refined culinary tastes.
LUNA: Alright then. She also asked what your opinion of Estela is.
ADONNENNIEL: Oh, gosh. That's a personal one, isn't it? Well, I think she's so intelligent. I kind of envy and admire her intelligence at the same time, you know? But don't get me wrong, I'd rather be out a party in the summer than sitting under a tree and reading a freaking textbook. And on the flip side, I think she can be way to uptight. Sometimes she just needs to relax and take a breather. Not everything revolves around SAT scores, taking a million AP classes, and knowing all the little facts about world history. Even though I admire that part of her, I wish she'd loosen up and come with me to a party or something.
LUNA: Next question. Scylla's revenge is wondering what's the deal with the tiara you found in the woods back in chapter one. She thinks it might be important for future events.
ADONNENNIEL: Man. I was wondering exactly the same thing! Should've given that question to Luna. She's like God in this story. She knows everything that's going to happen. She could smite me right now if she wanted. It's kind of freaky. But in answer to your question, I've thought about it myself a lot, and I have some predictions if you wanna hear them.
LUNA: Go ahead. No offense, but I don't think that anything you say will come close to how it's actually going to be involved in future events, if at all.
ADONNENNIEL: Okay. So here's my prediction: Aliens. No joke. It's gonna turn out being one of those cross fanfictions, and someone from E.T. will pop up and explain everything. It's either aliens or drugs…If it's drugs, then this is all a trip and I need to not drink anything I see lying around at parties anymore.
LUNA (laughing): You're way off.
ADONNENNIEL: Well, I have another prediction. I think that whether it's drugs or aliens, somehow Estela and I will get back home. I mean, obviously that tiara thing somehow brought us to Middle Earth. So maybe we'll find it again and it can get us back. Though I didn't see it after we initially came here in the woods…But that could just be because I had passed out and all. And by the way, Luna, if I don't get to go back home somehow I'm going to kill you. Seriously. The only thing keeping me going here is hoping that somehow me and Estela will get back home.
LUNA: Okay, okay, next question… has asked the this: Why are you a vegetarian? Did you have some gruesome incident involving a hot dog and a bloody finger?
ADONNENNIEL: EEEW! No. That's disgusting! Hot dogs and bloody fingers? Sounds like something from a really bad horror movie. The reason I'm a vegetarian is simple. I don't believe in eating anything with a face. It's inhumane. I mean, would you eat your dog? No! So how is a pig or a cow any different? Oh, right, they're not as cute. So what does that say about humans? Nothing good! So we can, like, eat animals based on their cuteness. That's like saying if the world were reversed, then all the ugly humans would get eaten.
LUNA: Hmmm. I've never thought of it that way.
ADONNENNIEL: Well, you should. Just consider it. If anyone in the audience chooses to convert to vegetarianism because of this interview, then I will love you forever.
LUNA: Ponderwhethertogetanaccount is also wondering the following: What has been the most enjoyable part of the journey so far, besides the walking?
ADONNENNIEL: Haha, sarcasm. That's funny. Well, besides the walking, I must say that the 'long dark of Moria' was pretty high up there on my favorites list. Just kidding. My favorite part is right now, in Lothlorien. It's relaxed and we're not constantly running from things that want to kill us.
LUNA: And she's also wondering who your favorite member of the Fellowship is, and why?
ADONNENNIEL: The hobbits! They're just so much fun to talk to, and they're the only people in the group who have a good sense of humor on a regular basis. It's hard to say who my favorite of them is, but I'm leaning towards Pippin. He's the funniest of all of them, and he reminds me of myself in ways.
LUNA: You're in for a lot of character development, then.
ADONNENNIEL: What's that?
LUNA (sighing) : …Never mind. Now, that's all the questions from readers and we have to close in a minute, but I have one more question for you.
ADONNENNIEL: Okey dokey.
LUNA (leans forward in chair): What did you do with Estela's overalls?
ADONNENNIEL: Oh, umm….Nothing….Not guilty! I have the right to remain silent! I didn't do it!
LUNA: If you keep talking, then that defeats the purpose of having the right to remain silent, you know. Just tell me. What did you do with them? Because it was without my knowledge, and I'm honestly very curious.
ADONNENNIEL: Okay, fine. I kind of stole them so that she wouldn't wear them again. I mean, she looks great in a dress and I was scared she would wear those ratty things again.
LUNA: And what exactly did you do with them?
ADONNENNIEL: Umm…I brought them with me one morning while going places in Lothlorien with Bellethiel and the hobbits. And then I kind of threw them in the river.
LUNA (laughing): You threw a pair of overalls in the Anduin? They're probably half way across Middle Earth by now!
ADONNENNIEL: Hey, this was really her fault, you know. If she wasn't so prickly about wearing nice clothes…
LUNA (standing): And we are out of time for Adonnenniel, folks! Let's take a ten minute break, and then I'll come back for the next section.
Luna and Adonnenniel walk backstage together. Lights off, curtains close. Celtic music plays.
Lights up. Curtains open to reveal the same coffee table and couch, but the chair is now gone. A large tub of ice cream sits on the coffee table.
LUNA (digging into the ice cream with a spoon): Welcome back, everyone! For this part of the interview, I'll do it so that you guys ask the questions. I apologize if I put words in anyone's mouth, as the saying goes. I'm going to sort of breeze through this part, since there are a lot of questions and not so much time. So let's put the spotlight on Miss Cuttlefish, so she can ask the first question!
MISS CUTTLEFISH: When and how did you come up with the idea for this story? And who's hotter in your opinion: Legolas or Aragorn?
LUNA: I'll be rebellious and answer the second question first. I'm with Adonnenniel on this one, actually. And that's partially just because Aragorn is a much more prominent figure in the book. His character changes and develops so much. Looks wise, I also have to say Aragorn. What can I say, I like shaggy guys.
MISS CUTTLEFISH: And the first question?
LUNA: Hmmm…That's a tricky one. It wasn't like a sudden epiphany or anything. This is what happened: I got home from school after a major geometry test, brought my laptob with me outside, and then just started typing. At first, I had no idea where these two girls standing in a smelly stable were going. Then the tiara idea just somehow appeared, and then they were in Middle Earth. It's like the story had a mind of its own. I didn't start writing this thinking that it's a Lord of the Rings fanfiction, and I'm going to have two OCs fall into Middle Earth. I started writing it thinking 'my brain is fried from staring at circles and I need to write something that I wouldn't normally write'. Which is in fact what I ended up doing. Next question!
DORKYNESSONSTEROIDS: Are Aaeriel and Bellethiel more OCs, or are they actual characters?
LUNA: Nope, they're more OCs. Though I don't think of them as such. There's so many Elves in Lothlorien, of course, so I just gave two of them a name and a minor place in the story.
MEI: I'm hoping this question won't sound creepy, but I'm honestly just curious. What do you look like, Luna?
LUNA (laughs): That is a bit creepy, but I guess I'll tell you. I have long, somewhat wavy brown hair, brown eyes, and glasses. I'm pretty skinny, and of normal height for my age. I'm part French, Italian, German, and Polish. I'm considering dying my hair bright red.
MEI: One more question. What's your favorite color?
LUNA: Pink, goddamn it! My favorite color is pink and I'm not ashamed to admit it!
MEI: Whoa there. Calm down.
LUNA: Sorry. It's just that whenever I tell people that pink is my favorite color, they automatically think I'm a girly girl. Which I'm definitely not.
ERUGALATHA: Okay then. I have a question referring to your author notes for the last chapter. Why do you dislike children?
LUNA: I don't mind children. Some of them are the devil's spawn, however. I've been locked in a bathroom for three hours, blamed for breaking a plasma TV, and have had to call 911 twice. Babysitting is a dangerous job.
SONG IN THE WOODS: I have a question! Are you going to have the girls teach them about slap stick?
LUNA (laughs): Haha! That's sounding like an appealing idea right now.
SONG IN THE WOODS: Indeed. You should try it.
LUNA: Only thing is, I don't know much about slap stick comedy. That would be another thing to research. Google has been my friend for parts of this story.
IELLWEN SILIMA: How old are you?
LUNA: Yay, another stalker question! I'm old enough to have my driver's permit, but young enough to still be taking geometry and chemistry in school. I'll let you figure that out.
ILIKEPIE: Besides writing this story, what makes you laugh?
LUNA: Haha! That's a funny question. Well, life in general makes me crack up. People can just be so darn funny, especially when it's unintentional. But also sites such as mylifeisaverage dot com, and damnyouautocorrect dot com. I believe I wasted at least half an hour everyday on the said sites. And the comics in the newspaper also make me crack up. I'm a sucker for bad puns.
ROSE: What was the last text message you sent?
LUNA: …Stalker!
ROSE: Sorry.
LUNA: My last text was 'lalala. like thatll get you anywhere. orange juice is the only substitute.'
ROSE: What?
LUNA: Yeah, you probably need context there. Next question!
BLUE DRAGON OF RIVENDELL: Can you tell us more about Estela and Adonnenniel's mother?
LUNA: Sorry, but that's ultra classified information. But I will say that her part in the story is not over yet. Good question. I was wondering when someone was going to ask about that.
ILIKEPIE: I have another question! Why aren't you updating for a month?
LUNA: Alas, some of those reasons are also classified information. But I can tell you that one of the reasons was my AP World exam. Thank God it's over. I was studying nonstop for weeks and had no time for anything. And now that that's over, I have SOLs and finals coming up. So school work's a big part of it. And another main reason is that I wanted to take some time off of posting to figure out which ending I wanted to do for this story…I had four possible ones, and I've chosen one of them and know exactly how I'm getting there now.
READER: Does the ending you chose involve Adonnenniel dying?
LUNA: Classified! Sorry!
READER: Okay then. At least tell me something about the Prophecy, then.
LUNA: It's like an onion. It has a ton of layers. Some of them might make you cry.
READER: …Come again?
LUNA: Umm…There are a lot of subtle meanings in the Prophecy, that nobody has touched on quite yet. There's an obvious interpretation, and then there's multiple layers of subtle interpretations. They will all play a part in the outcome of the story.
ILUVSPRING: Is there anyone who Adonnenniel will like? And is she Elvish as well?
LUNA: Yes, she is Elvish. But remember, she still has to face the decision between a mortal life and immortality. Like Arwen did in the books, since she was also half elf and half human. And in answer to your first question, I don't think she's going to fall in love with anyone in Middle Earth. She's so attached to her own home.
LORD-OF-THE-RINGSWORM: I have several questions…What happened to the tiara the girls found in the farm in the first chapter?
LUNA: Classified! Sorry! But I will tell you that it didn't drop off the face of the story. I know exactly what happened to it, but I can't tell you without spoiling the story.
LORD-OF-THE-RINGSWORM: Is the relationship between Estela and Legolas going to evolve into anything serious?
LUNA: Okay, since I feel really bad for saying 'Classified!' to all of these questions, I'll give you a straight up answer for this one: Yes. But I'm not saying anything more.
LORD-OF-THE-RINGSWORM: Is the end of the story drawing to a close? And are you going to write about Return of the King and the Two Towers?
LUNA: Nope to the first question, and yes to the second one! This story is going to end sometime after Return of the King. We've still got some of the Fellowship and the entirety of the Two Towers and Return of the King to get through.
LORD-OF-THE-RINGSWORM: Will the events in the Prophecy that Galadriel made ever happen?
LUNA: Classified! But the short answer is yes, all of the events will happen.
LORD-OF-THE-RINGSWORM: Okay, last question. Do you have a facebook?
LUNA: More stalkers! Eeek! Just kidding, I'm sure you're not a stalker. Actually, I deactivated my facebook account a while ago. It just got really boring. I have one more question to answer, and then we can close this interview!
ADDICTED READER: Do you have a basic outline for the rest of the story, so that you keep writing?
LUNA: I have an ultra detailed, three and a half page long mega outline.
ADDICTED READER: Awesome.
LUNA: And that concludes this interview! I hope all of you stuck with it for the entire 7,000 words! I'm now going to go add some things to my outline, because this interview has given me many excellent ideas. I will have the review replies for chapter 12 and this chapter in the next chapter, which I will hopefully be able to post next weekend. Bye!
Luna exits stage left. Lights off. Stage ninjas dressed in black swiftly remove props. Curtains close dramatically. Bohemian Rhapsody plays in the back around.