Chapter Two: The Morning After! The Swap!
Tatewaki, woke up and got ready for school as he normally did, everyday. Tatewaki, eventually found his way to the bathroom preparing for a shower, when mirror had caught his attention.
Tatewaki, blinked a few times as he watched himself move in the mirror. At first, he turned around thinking that the mirror was playing tricks on his mind, to see that there wasn't a soul there. The upperclassmen, turned back to the mirror again at a loss. Tatewaki, slowly brought his hands to his face; he padded each side, before he slowly drew his hands down.
Suddenly, his eyes dropped open along with his jaw; he then slowly back up against the bathroom wall, the very one that was behind him. "Oh- oh!" Tatewaki, screamed. "HHHHAAAA!"
Tatewaki, covered his mouth with his hand when he spoke in it. "My voice." His breathing quickened, his heart quickened, everything quickened. (This isn't happening.) Tatewaki, continued to mutter in his hand, in a whisper. "This is not happening, this is not happening."
The kendoist, finally released his hand before he stared at them shaking. "Okay, these aren't my hands, these aren't my feet, and this isn't my body; not to mention this voice, that defiantly isn't mine."
Tatewaki, tried to calm himself down, by using a few simple relaxation technique. The upperclassmen, took a long slow breath. (Okay, all I need focus on, is to breathe, and to keep on breathing. Okay, this is all probably some sort of nightmare. All I have to do is close my eyes, and keep taking deep long breaths. And once I open them all of this will be all gone; it'll all be over with soon.)
With that in his mind, Tatewaki, simply closed eyes, counted a few sheep, and took a glance at the mirror once again. Tatewaki's eyes, expanded again. "No." This time, the kendoist shook his head. 'No." This time, he feel to his knees. "NOOOOOOOO!"
Tatewaki's breathes quickened again, as he swallowed. "I am- in his- body.. I'm- I'm, I'm in Ranma Saotome's- body." Tatewaki, flinched, twitched, and all the above a few times, as he tried to fit the puzzle pieces together.
Tatewaki, whispered to himself in a low voice. "How did this happen? How did this happen?" Just then it hit him, right then and there, just as a stampede of sheep could. Tatewaki, dropped his jaw when the memories flashed by him in a millisecond. "No way."
The kendoist, climbed himself back up to the mirror, with his hands on his face once more. "I- I can't believe it." Just after, he glowered fiercely, and cringed in bitterness, as his confused cold eyes hit the mirror with icy daggers. "I- I can't believe her." Tatewaki, quickly looked down at his hands again. "This isn't what I wished for!"
With that, the kendoist turned to the bathtub, as he growled aside. (Er..) His eyes widen oddly as he cringe and quivered. (Great, now what am I going to do?) Tatewaki, rolled his eyes in stress and frustration. (I can't take a bath like this. I can't even get changed like this.)
By this point, Tatewaki, gave up and had barely made his out of the bathroom. His arms held onto the side of the walls, as his new shaky legs moved slowly, step by step, out of the bathroom and onward with his day.
Ranma, woke up to see that his father had already left the room, just when Kasumi, came by.
"Ra-" Kasumi, paused and blinked, confused. "Oh- Kuno, what are you doing here?"
Ranma, turned around as he blinked, at a loss. "What are you talking about Kasu-" Ranma, quickly covered his hand over his throat. (My voice? What happened to my voice?
"Oh my, what's wrong Kuno?" Kasumi, asked worried.
Ranma, eyed her. "Kasumi, what are talking about?"
"Have you seen Ranma?"
"I'm standing right here, in front of you Kasumi," Ranma, paused for a minute again. (What the heck do I sound like Kuno, for?) "What makes you think that Kuno's here?"
Kasumi, stared at him blankly. "Because you're standing right in front of me.
Ranma, blinked, as some very confusing thoughts hit. "What?" He, handed her an odd look, just then slipped right by her. "I'll- be right back." The so-called pigtailed boy, ran into the bathroom, when he finally faced the mirror. Ranma, was taken aback in deep and other shock, when he backed into the door behind him. "WHOA!"
Ranma, simply studied his reflection in the mirror stood there in silence, as his mind stopped. The sophomore, touched and clawed his face, flabbergast, traumatized, mortified, and devastated. Ranma, remind there speechless, lost, confused, baffled, and all out bewildered; many perplex thoughts and quires ran through his mind. (What the hell happened to me?) Ranma, turned away, as he dug deeper and deeper into his thoughts.
Ranma, drew deeper into the mirror, as he dug deeper and deeper into his thoughts. (How in the world, could this, have possibly had happened?) Ranma, fidgeted, squirmed, cringed, and all the above. (What, did I jump into spring drowned Kuno, or something?) By this point, Ranma, growled under his breath. (That dolt probably did something stupid again.) Ranma, looked away, as he let out a angry sigh.(Great, first the I turn into a girl, and now I've change into Kuno?)
Just then, curiosity kicked in, when Ranma, grabbed a bucket of cold water and poured it over his head. Ranma, blinked in surprised confusion and bewildered astonishment. (No way!) The pigtailed boy, held himself back for a minute, when he turned away from the mirror. "I'm- I'm cured." (But why on earth, do I still look like Kuno for?)
(So, if I don't turn into a girl, does that mean that I've changed into Kuno?) After that Ranma, splashed himself with hot water again, to find that nothing had changed. More perplexed thoughts had hit him, while he was trying to figure out his own puzzle. (Wait, if I still look like Kuno, in both of my forms.. then that means I didn't change into Kuno, even with using cold water..that means, I'm in Kuno's bo-dy) "Oh my-" Ranma, dropped his jaw, before he covered his mouth and clenched his teeth together. "-I'm in Kuno's body?"
Ranma, dropped to his knees on the floor, with he pounded it with his fist. "No! No! No! No!" Then Ranma, came to a sudden halt. (If I'm in Kuno's body, then that must mean that he's in mine; and if he's in my body, then that means that Kuno's the- Kuno's the-)
Ranma, gasp when his eyes were about to drop out of his sockets, in deep, deep, devastation. The pigtailed boy, couldn't move.
"NOOOOOO!"
After that he pounded his fist on the floor once again. "No! No! No!"
If things weren't worse, some thoughts plagued his mind, just imagining what Tatewaki, would do if he ever found out. "Argh! No! No! No!" Ranma, covered his mouth, with a sick pale expression across his face; he brought one hand to his stomach. "I think I'm gonna puke."
The rest of them, exchanged looks with one another, when Akane, brought up the most obvious opening question. "Was that, Kuno?"
"Sounded like it to me," Nabiki, added in support.
"I saw him when I went to wake Ranma, up," Kasumi, started in reply."The strange is, I'm not too sure why, or for what exactly, but Kuno, was wearing Ranma's pajamas, who kept on claiming that he wasn't here.
Nabiki, sent Nabiki, a look filled with ideas. "Kuno, was wearing Ranma's pajamas?"
"You mean, Kuno, slept over here?" Akane, asked, taken aback.
Soun, turned to Genma. "Saotome, what is this? What's going on?"
Genma, sent a low brow back. "How would I know Tendo? This is your place, is it not?"
Ranma, nervously wobbled down the stairs, before he into the room.
Nabiki, looked up at limp body that was wearing Ranma's pajamas. "What happened to you Kuno- baby?" [AN: Talking about walking in someone else's shoes alright!]
Ranma, stood there stiff, as he twitched, flinched, and shuddered all at once.
Akane, gave a slight squint, disturbed in puzzlement. "Did Ranma, do something to you?" Akane, subsequently shook it off, before she continued. "Where is he, and why are you wearing his clothes?"
"Kasumi, wasn't lying, you really are wearing his pajamas," Nabiki, noted, taking a good look up Ranma.
Genma, turned back to Ranma. "Kuno, what's going on boy?"
Ranma, ignored them all, when he walked into the kitchen. He put a tea kettle on the stove, before he brought out some cold water in a metal pail.
"What's the pail for?" Kasumi, asked in wonderment.
"So, I can puke in it," Ranma, snapped back in sarcasm; that wasn't directed right at Kasumi.
Ranma, simply closed his eyes. "Watch this." Ranma, poured the cold water over his head.
Everyone just sat there, looking at Ranma, like he was crazy; particularly not getting it at all.
"O-kay.." Akane, let out slowly.
Ranma, shook his head before he rolled his eyes. (I knew this wasn't going to work.) "Oh come on you guys, don't you see."
"See what?" Akane, asked, still at a loss.
"Yeah Kuno-baby, what were we suppose to see?" Nabiki, inquired after.
"Is this suppose to be some sort of game of charades, or something?" Soun, guessed, trying to figure Ranma, out.
"Are you trying to tell us where Ranma, is?" Genma, question.
"Yes," Ranma, pointed out. "That's exactly it."
"Okay, so a pail, cold water, Ranma-" Nabiki, started at first. Just then everyone finally caught on.
"Ranma, turned himself into a girl, and ran off," Akane, guessed first.
"Because of something that was, or did happened between you two last night," Nabiki, filled in on speculation.
"You found out that he was the Pigtailed girl," Akane, finally taking a good shot.
"So, she ran off this morning," Kasumi, added again.
"So-" Nabiki, started. "Ranma, took off this morning, because of something you to were going to do, or did do last night, until you found out that he was really the Pigtailed girl."
Ranma, scowled as he flushed offended, insulted, and ridiculed. "That's not it at all!"
"Why else would you be wearing her PJ's?" Akane, filled in with a good question.
Ranma, turned to snap at Akane. "You're making it worse."
Everyone turned to Ranma, pretty shocked.
"Kuno- baby, are you mad at my sister about something?" Nabiki, inquired in worry.
"That's not the only thing, doesn't Kuno, normally speak in middle age dialog?" Kasumi, inquired along.
"Not to mention the fact, you haven't declared or proclaimed your love to Akane, by handing a huge dozen of roses," Nabiki, added to the point.
Ranma, rolled his eyes in annoyance, while Akane, on the other hand, just narrowed at Nabiki.
"But that still doesn't tell us, where Ranma, is," Soun, let out to notified the rest.
"Oh, he's here, you just can't see him," Ranma, uttered in expression.
At this time, everyone heard the tea kettle, when Ranma, went back into the kitchen, when he drew in a long breath, and held out a long sigh. He walked up to the stove, turned it off, and grabbed the tea kettle out on his way. Once he came back in this time, when he poured the hot water over his head.
"Are you trying to make yourself change; cause that's not exactly how it's done?" Nabiki, questioned out truthfully.
Ranma, sighed with a tone. (Well there's goes, plan number one.) "Okay, fine then, I guess I have to do this the hard way." Ranma, looked around the room. "I'm not Kuno. I'm Ranma. Get it now."
"Since when did you, ever want to be Ranma?" Akane asked.
"No!" Ranma, stepped forward with hands in clawed fist. "Ugh! That's not what I'm trying to say."
"Then what are you trying to say?" Soun, inquired in for some answers.
"Look, I only appear to look like the idiot, but I'm Ranma. Just like my girl from and I, being one and the same. Where I'd appear to look the Pigtailed girl, but I'm not really her, I'm me."
First, everyone widened their eyes in disbelief.
Akane, went first. "Are you serious?"
"So you're saying that you're actually Ranma?" Nabiki, inquired still in shocked.
"It doesn't mean, I turn into Kuno, and switch back and forth, like I do with my girl side. I don't know how, or why, but in some way I'm in Kuno's body, and somehow he's in mine. I think we switched places. This is exactly why you guys didn't see me change into a girl. I can't turn into a girl, because I'm in his body."
"Wait a minute," Nabiki, held Ranma to a pause. "If what you're saying is true, and if Kuno's in your body, then wouldn't that mean, that he's-"
Akane, jolted up for that moment. "Kuno's the Pigtailed girl!"
Soun and Genma, exchanged the most bazaar looks in the world, to each other.
"Genma, how can my darling little girl get married, if yours son trapped in Kuno's body."
"Well I guess if worse comes to worse then," Genma, started day-dreaming off, of how Akane's weeding would've been like.
Ranma, snarled angrily. "Don't even joke about that!"
"Ah! I see," Tendo, agreed as he thought the same. After that he turned, to his youngest daughter. "Saotome's right Akane; you do realize if things don't change, and keep up like this, you may not have another choice." Just then tears streamed through his eyes, making Akane, somewhat worried, for the worst.
By this time, Ranma, had finally calmed down himself a bit, when he added. "Oh come on, I'm sure I can get the idiot, to turn this around somehow. I mean, I'm pretty sure he'll want his body back; you all know how he is."
"So, how are we suppose to find Kuno?" Akane, asked.
"Huh, I donno Akane, how about looking for someone, who use to look a lot like me," Ranma, pointed out in annoyance.
"Well I'm sure if he wants to fight you, he'll come to us," Nabiki, put in at last.
All of a sudden, the three of them heard a voice.
"Ranma Saotome!"
Ranma, paused at the sight, looking at his old self. "Kuno."
They both gawked at each other rather oddly, when the all the students that were there, watched the sense with their own odd expressions and thoughts ahead of them.
"All right, what's going on here Kuno?"Ranma, finally asked.
Tatewaki, sighed as he looked around; he let out a small growl "Genie?"
"Oi Genie?"
Ranma, grabbed Tatewaki, by the shirt. "Look at me you idiot, take a good long look, at what you did to me, stupid. I woke up looking like you man.. like you!" Ranma, clenched his other hand at him. "I in the mood for your bull Kuno. "
Tatewaki, narrowed at him with a deep frown. "Thou misunderstand." Then he looked left. "Jinni?" Then, to the right. "Oi Jinni? Nozomi? Wherever the hell I'm suppose to call you. Thou shall come out here this instant."
The women, appeared behind him. "Yeah what?"
Tatewaki, quickly turned around, making Ranma, let go. "Quit doing that all ready?"
"Ready to make your last wish, kid, I'd like to get out of here, before it starts pouring."
Ranma, blinked at a long lost, along with the other students. "Last wish?" The sophomore scratched his head. "And who are you?"
Tatewaki, turned to Ranma. "She's a genie."
Ranma, simply looked at Tatewaki, in disbelief; as for the rest of the school, they came over, thinking it was pretty neat, never getting a visit from a jinni before.
"A genie?" Ranma, turned back to. "Really?"
The women, who still had her shades on at the time, had finally removed them, as he pointed to the gem, that was under her left eye. "A lot of people refer me as Nozomi."
Tatewaki, gave the genie a look. "Exactly genie, mind explaining to us, what the hell this is?" The kendoist, pointing between Ranma and himself.
She tossed him a motivated stare. "This is your wish, was it not?"
Ranma, finally caught on. "Kuno, did you wish for us to- switch places?
Tatewaki, pointed behind him. "Blame her, not me!"
"You were the one who wished he could walk your shoes, don't take it out on me," Nozomi, pointed out.
Then he turned to snap at Nozomi. "I didn't mean it literally! It was just a figure of speech!"
Ranma, turned to Tatewaki, taken aback in surprise. "You wished for me to be you?"
Tatewaki, snapped back at Ranma. "That's not what I said." Then he turned back to Nozomi. "Neither is it what I wished for."
Suddenly, a random girl with pigtails, ran up to Tatewaki.
Tatewaki, raised his brow, as he gave the girl, a questioning look. "Who art thou?"
"I came up here, to ask you out on a date?"
Tatewaki, was stumbled. "Date-"
Then the girl, ran up to Akane. "Oh, you're coming too right?"
Akane, blinked in shock at the sudden surprise. "I am?"
Tatewaki's thoughts finally hit him, as Ranma's foot can. "Wait a minute-" He slowly turned to the genie with a glare, the one that he made, when he felt stupid, fooled, and all the above. "This isn't what I asked for?"
"I believe you clearly egotistically stated, that you wanted to date Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed girl; and that wasn't a mistake."
"This is not what I meant, when I said Pigtailed girl!" Tatewaki, nailed down.
She gave him a non-caring look."You didn't specify which Pigtailed girl?"
Ranma, sick of hearing it all, got aggravated as he grew impatient, very impatient. "Ugh..how do we change back?"
Nozomi, turned to Tatewaki. "You have one more wish left." Handing him a hint.
"It's up to him, for us to change back," Ranma, with a disbelieved look on his face. "With is last wish?"
"Yes."
"Isn't there another way?" Ranma, begged in question.
"No."
Ranma, turned from the genie to Tatewaki. "You've got one more, wish for us to change back, before it's too late."
"I already wasted two of them on you!" Wherefore shalt I waste my last wish on you?"
"Why you-" Ranma, begun. "That's your fault for making stupid wishing like that in the first place."
Tatewaki, clenched for his fist up at Ranma. "I'm not the one, who made that other one come true."
"Come on Kuno, it won't be just for me, but for you too," Ranma, said, as he tried to get Tatewaki, to agree on terms.
"Not, until thou agree to give up on Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed Girl."
Ranma, hopped up closer by Tatewaki. "Why you-change us back!"
"In order for me to give up something, thou has to give up something in equal value first."
"Yeah, and I'm offering you the chance for you to have your dumb body back," Ranma, spat out back.
"Enough! If thou want me to use my last wish on ye, fight me for it!"
The jinni, just rolled her eyes upward, while she shook her head.
Ranma and Tatewaki, fought on about, before a bunch of cats came out to distract him. Not only distract him, but distract him long enough for Tatewaki, to put in a few good hits.
"What is this? Ranma, asked, as he continued being crowed and covered by a bunch of cats.
The genie, started whistling, not caring more or less.
Tatewaki, finally got one more really good hit in, with his bokken; the one he got from Sasuke, who appeared out of nowhere, at the time. Tatewaki, slowly stood up, but never declared himself the winner, seeing as it was his body, beaten up on the ground. What he did next, was walk right up to the genie, with venom in his voice. "Why you?
Nozomi, rolled her eyes at him. "Now what did I do?
"How dear you, try to deceive I, Tatewaki Kuno, in a unfair fight!"
Nozomi, just handed off a annoyed look. "You're the one who wished to defeat him."
Tatewaki, was just infuriated now. "This isn't how I wanted to defeat Ranma Saotome?" Tatewaki, then pointed to the body on the ground. "Look what you did to my face."
The genie, pushed her bangs back."Well, you should've been more specific."
"This has nothing to do with specificity. Thou art nothing but a insensitive, thoughtless, conceited, sarcastic, apathetic pessimist, whose nothing but sarcastic, cynical, contemptuous, impulsive, impatient, deceitful, and not to mention a snippy devious fraudulent; who does nothing but complain and ridicule about the wishes other people make; then has the nerve to make a mockery out of your wishes and misery, in order to you to turn around again, to taunt and criticize everyone else."
"Oh big whoop! If you and the rest of human civilization, wouldn't come up with same brainless, uninteresting, repetitive, unenthusiastic egotistical wishes, in their unoriginality, and actually had some kind of an intelligence, then maybe you wouldn't stuck the wishes you got." She smart- mouthed off at him.
Tatewaki, snarled right back at her. "If you're so smart, then what are your wishes.
"Wisdom, a selfless great power, and a long life."
Then suddenly a voice appeared out of nowhere. "All of that doesn't matter all right. Besides, if you're so wise and have all this selfless power, you should use it, to get him, to change us back," Ranma, piped up.
She looked at him tiresome mood. "Look, it doesn't work like that."
"Look, are you sure there is no other way."
"Well," Nozomi, looked back. "You could always try to find my tea kettle and pour me out, and have four wishes of your own."
Ranma, snapped back. "You're should've said that before! Where is your tea kettle at?"
"Most likely at the restaurant he was at," Nozomi, answered, referring to Tatewaki. At least I've been trapped in there, for a good few years anyway. She folded her arms and she let out a sigh. "Then again, there's a lot of different tea kettles, and I can't go back in until I get to grant his last wish."
Ranma, growled under his breath, before he pulled Tatewaki, by the shirt he was wearing. "Look man, it would save us a lot of trouble, if you just wished for us to reverse back, to the way we were. If you waste this wish, and if we don't find that tea kettle, then we're both going to be stuck like this; and who knows for how long."
"Then again, may I offer you a suggestion," The genie interrupted.
Tatewaki and Ranma, both turned to the genie. "What!"
Nozomi, spread out both hands to Tatewaki.
Ranma and Tatewaki, looked at each back at Nozomi. "What!"
She eyed them both in sarcastic irritation. "Kuno's wish, the tea kettle."
Then her thoughts finally hit Ranma's. "Hey, that's right, if we could get Tatewaki, to wish for the tea kettle, then we won't have to search for it."
"I'm not wasting my last wish on that. I got something better."
Ranma, sighed under his breath. "Oh boy, here we go."
"So you finally have you wish, kid?" Nozomi, asked impatiently.
"Yeah, and it's best one I've ever made," Tatewaki, smart- comment back. Then he whispered to himself. "I should'st done this earlier. "Now for I Tatewaki Kuno, to finally prove your wrong. I wish for ye to be gone!
Nozomi, nodded. "I'll have to admit, that is the best wish, you've ever made."
Tatewaki, clenched his fist. "Why you, disappear already!"
After that she simply left."
Tatewaki, swiped his hands together. "There we go. Done and done.' Then he put some laughter aside. "Ha-ha-ha." Then he looked aside, satisfied. "I win."
Ranma, widened eyes silently for a minute, in disbelief. He blinked a few times, before he popped up himself back up at Tatewaki. Kuno! What the heck did you wish that for? Now how the hell are we going to change back!"
"You hared her miscreant, go find the kettle yourself."
Right then and there Ranma, grabbed Tatewaki, by his ear. "You're coming with me. If I'm gonna do this, I wanna do it right."
"Not if I pour her out first."
"Didn't you just want to get rid of her?"
"If I pour her out again, I get another four wishes."
"Oh, I don't think so," Ranma, dragged him along. "Come on you."
The bell rang behind them.
"Hey, what about our classes?"
"I don't think so. The faster we find that kettle, the better," Ranma, put in at last.