Hi! I don't own Doctor Who.

SO. I wrote this forever ago...but my friend has been begging and begging me to put it up on here and I finally gave in. (You're welcome Tish.)

Enjoy!

"But, River! I didn't mean it like THAT. Come back here!"

I could hear his footsteps following me but the TARDIS was a part of me and, sensing that I wanted to be alone, led him in a slightly different direction.

As I walked on and on, I thought about our argument. I couldn't believe he didn't want to have children. A tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. I was quite adept at hiding my emotions behind a think wall. There were very few things that could break through it.

This was one of them.

Growing up with my parents, conversations arose in the comfort of countless sheet forts in little Amy's bedroom. Our futures.

On the outside, I hid behind my shell and false bravado, upholding my reputation as a rebel. I would claim I didn't ever want to get married or have children.

The biggest lie I ever told.

There was no greater desire in all of my being. I wanted to be a wife and mother so badly...

"But River it wouldn't work out right." he had said.

"Sweetie, you are a Timelord. You can work out anything."

"No. I can't. I couldn't make this work. There are things you don't know about the future. I don't think adding children into the equation would be a good idea."

"What in our futures could possibly be so bad, my love? I think it's a bit selfish of you to keep the Timelord race to near extinction when you've got every ability to raise a good people. One day there won't be a Doctor. Do you really think you can live forever? What kind of a man does that make you?"

He turned angrily. "It makes me an extremely selfish one, River."

That's when I had walked away.

I had finally been able to peel back a part of my shell and he had shot my vulnerable feelings with fiery flying daggers. Never again.

Lost in thought, I almost didn't see that I had come to a part of the TARDIS I had never been to before. I rounded a corner and found it to be a dead end with only one door on the right. Something urged me to go in so I turned the handle and swung the door open.

It was probably the fanciest toilet I'd ever been in. Probably even more splendid and vast than Liz X's palace bathrooms. I walked in and turned on the spot, taking in the wonderful marble pillars and gold sinks until I spotted something. Directly opposite the door I had come through was a sink and the toilet. Something was sitting on the little table next to the sink. I walked over and picked it up.

It was a pregnancy test.

My hearts skipped a beat and I dropped the box and took a few steps backwards towards the door. Pain shot through my heart. I wanted out of there. I turned and bolted for the door as fresh tears ran down my cheeks. What a cruel thing to find.

Just as I reached the door, it slammed shut and locked on it's own. I yanked on the handle. Nothing.

"What's this, then, old girl? What have you done this time?" I said aloud, addressing the TARDIS directly, wondering what she was trying to tell me.

"Come on. I just want out. This isn't funny." I tried again. Nothing happened. I was stuck.

I pressed my back against the door and hung my head. The TARDIS groaned.

"No way. There's no reason to."

It groaned again.

"I can't. I-"

Again the TARDIS spoke to me. "Take it. Take that test."

I put my head in my hands and sighed. "If I take it, will you let me out of here? I have a meeting soon and I need to be there. I'm heading an expedition to a planet that's been under a security lock for a hundred years."

The TARDIS groaned in the affirmative.

I smiled and walked toward the sink. This was going to be easy. I knew I wasn't pregnant. All I had to do was take this and then I could leave.

As I waited for the results, my mind began to wander. What if I was pregnant? My stomach fluttered in excitement at the thought. The more I thought about it, the more I argued with myself. In the end, I decided I couldn't be pregnant. It just wouldn't- but then why had the TARDIS insisted on this?

My hearts began pounding as the timer on my watch went off. I didn't want to look, but I couldn't wait to see what it said. I looked down into my hands and suddenly found it hard to breath.

I heard the door open and I dropped the test and left quickly. I didn't have time to think it over. I had a meeting to be at.

I ran as fast as I could to our bedroom and slipped on some professional clothes and grabbed a pair of heels. When I reached the console room, I nearly turned around and went back to hide. The Doctor was standing in front of the TARDIS doors waiting for me.

I sucked in a deep breath and entered, walking directly to the sofa and sitting to put on my shoes and fix my hair. He walked towards me.

"River, I-"

"Can't talk now, sweetie. I've got a meeting and I-"

"River. I need to talk to you." he interrupted.

I sighed and continued to ready myself.

"Where did you go? After we..." he trailed off.

"I just walked. The TARDIS and I went on a lovely adventure."

"I heard the TARDIS. She said 'Take it. Take the test.' What does that mean?"

I swallowed. It hadn't occurred to me that he would have heard her too.

I stood and walked over to him. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I can't be late for this meeting. It's really important." I stood on my toes and kissed him. "We can talk later. I promise."

I left him standing there. I didn't want to. But I really was going to be late. And I didn't want to have to explain to him what had happened until I had time to fully accept it myself.

When I returned, he was waiting for me on the sofa. I smiled and dropped my bag on the floor, sitting next to him.

"How was your meeting?" he asked, a little awkwardly.

I raised an eyebrow. "It was fine, love. What's wrong?"

"The TARDIS told me what she did to you. She said she locked you in the bathroom."

I swallowed.

"Yes, she did. Is that all she said?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah. She said you would tell me the rest."

"Oh."

"So what happened? I mean...First of all, I want to apologize for what I said this afternoon. I didn't mean it the way it came out. It's just...I've seen things, River. Future things you still have to experience and I panicked."

I slid my heels off and snuggled closer to him.

"I forgive you, my love. Always."

He waited in silence.

"She locked me in the bathroom and pulled a joke on me." I said finally.

"A joke?" he asked.

"Yeah." I exhaled. "She wouldn't let me leave until I'd taken the pregnancy test she put in there."

His eyes widened.

"She what? You took a- Why? How did-I mean-"

"Shhh...Sweetie it's alright." I laughed at his panic.

"That wasn't very nice of her. I'm so sorry, River."

I kissed him.

"It's really okay, Doctor. I'm okay."

I stood up and began to fly the TARDIS into the vortex.

"River-" he hesitated, "River, what did the test say?"

I didn't know what to tell him yet.

I turned and looked at him.

"Don't worry about it, sweetie." I said simply and then picked up my shoes.

His face relaxed a little. "So which meeting was this one?"

"Oh just some rich bloke who wants me to head an expedition to The Library. Real piece of work, this one." I said as I headed back towards our room.

His voice cracked as he said, "Oh? And when is this expedition?"

"Tomorrow, actually. But before I leave I want to talk to you about something."

"River, don't go to sleep. I have to show you something."

He stood and ran down the corridor, returning within minutes with a beautiful green dress and handing it to me.

"Get dressed. We're going out."

As I changed, I couldn't help but think how strange he'd suddenly been acting. That's when I decided to do it. I was going to look ahead.

I finished getting ready and lifted his pillow, picking up the little blue book that matched my own. I flipped to tomorrow's date and read the scratchy writing. Tears began to fill my eyes.

I knew why he didn't want children.

It was because he was going to lose me. Tomorrow at The Library. I died.

I tucked the diary away gently and a hand wandered up to my stomach. I couldn't die tomorrow. But I had to die tomorrow. He was taking me out for the last time. All these years he had known I was going to die at the Library to save him and there was nothing he could do. But there was something I could do. I had more things to think about than just him. I was going to have a baby.

I smiled and stood, leaving the room and running down the corridor towards the lab.

I opened the door and bolted strait for the flesh machine. I took a deep breath and strapped myself in, turning on my perception filter so I'd be hidden from the Doctor.

River Song wasn't going to The Library. River Song wasn't going to die tomorrow.

The bright light from the data core vanished and I woke up, strapped in the flesh harness.

I'd done it.

I unstrapped myself and ran down the corridors of the TARDIS, in search of my Doctor. I burst through the TARDIS doors and spotted him a little ways off in the distance, sitting on a park bench, holding something in his hands.

I smiled and walked towards him. He spotted me and I saw confusion in his face. He hid what he had been holding and stood.

"River?"

I laughed and kissed him.

"You're an idiot, you know that? You think you could just get rid of me that easily?"

More confusion filled his face.

"Darling, in the Library, I didn't die. I couldn't. Well, I could but I knew I wouldn't. It wasn't me. It was a flesh version."

His eyes grew wider and wider with every confession. "But-"

I kissed him again.

"Don't worry about it. Why are you out here?"

He looked down.

"After you left I couldn't stop thinking about what the TARDIS did to you and I went looking for the bathroom."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the test I had dropped on the floor.

I froze.

"Sweetie, I-" I started, hoping he wasn't angry.

"You know the second I saw this, I hated myself even more. All the things we fought about and then losing you at The Library. And then on top of that..."

He began to laugh.

I raised an eyebrow, seriously questioning his sanity for a moment.

"River, we're going to be parents!" he exclaimed, jumping up and swinging me around excitedly. I laughed and we kissed.

"So, then, you aren't upset?" I questioned.

"No. I've always dreamed of having a family with you, River. But I was dreading the day you wouldn't come back from that expedition. All the secrets and lies we had to live with...I just didn't want to put our children through losing their mother like that."

"No more secrets and lies?" I asked.

He smiled and slid a hand over my stomach.

"Not ever again, my love."