A/N: So, I'm poop, I know. I posted Chapter 14 twice, 'cause my phone ran out of storage, therefore I didn't get my usual email notification saying I updated. So I thought it just didn't update.
I re-updated, and then deleted my phone storage, coming to find out I had a shit ton of email notifications and I actually HAD updated. Sooooo. Sorry. Don't hate me. D:
I don't know about YOU GUYS, but how about 'em Niners, eh? ;) Vernon Davis, I love you, and you're brilliant. That Saints game was motherfucking INTENSE.
^^sorry, I'm a sports fan. That's where Sera gets inspiration. :D
I hope this chapter is as intense as I'm meaning it to be. Yes, I said intense. Reviews are VITAL at this point. (;
And I'm also going to try to respond to all of your reviews now. If I hadn't in the past, that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate your comment, because trust me, I absolutely do, and I read them all, and I love you. I'm just a lazy and forgetful fuck, so you can send me a private message telling me that I'm shit for not responding or updating fast enough and I'll probably agree with you. :D
But besides that. I love you. Thank you for sticking it out this far. I can't believe this story has almost FIFTY REVIEWS so far, and so far all of them positive. That's more than I could have ever asked for. I seriously love you guys, and there's been a few moments where you guys have made me tear up a little bit. :')
With some SERIOUS xoxoxoxo's,
Chels.
Chapter Song: Without the Bitter the Sweet Isn't As Sweet by Mayday Parade.
"Until you are broken, you don't know what you're made of."
~Anonymous
Sera POV
You can do this, Sera. Just Seth, just Seth...
Just Seth.
"Agh!" I exclaimed, throwing my necklace to the other side of the large room. It hit the wall with a muffled plunk and then fell in a heap on the floor, a heap that I would no doubt be untangling later. I had been trying hopelessly for the past five minutes to clasp the idiotic thing around my neck, but every time Seth passed through my mind (which was all the time, every second of the day), my hands would start shaking.
I saw myself in the mirror and hissed violently. My hair was sticking in every direction, almost as if it was taunting me.
Would it be beyond me to just cut it all off?
My mother would never allow it though. So instead, it fell down to my tail bone, past my waist. And it was a frizz ball at the current moment.
Well, that'd be an understatment. "Current moment" implies that it usually isn't like that. My hair...not so much.
I ran my fingers through the rat's nest on the top of my head and plopped down onto the floor. I would never look good.
Maybe I should just forever wear dance shorts and old camisoles. My lacking of caring for anything having to do with fashion might shine through for the millionth time in my life and people would hopefully stop expecting me to get dressed up.
There was one troublesome thing though.
Whenever I was with Seth, I wanted to look good. Of course I wanted him to notice me...I was growing up. Grandpa said that my growth was slowing dramatically, especially from last summer to this summer, and I looked close to fifteen going on sixteen. After this year or the next, I would stop growing. Give or take a few more developmental years and the process would stop all together.
I almost banged my head against the wall. Seth didn't notice anything. My biggest fan was Leah because she agreed with me wholeheartedly. She told me that Seth's always been a little clueless.
Please Seth, notice me at least once...
I guess it's a little hard to say how long I've been in love with him.
I guess when I turned fourteen physically I started falling for him. I can't give an exact date...love doesn't work like that. It's gradual, and sometimes you can feel it creeping on you, but at other times, you're clueless. I was sitting in his house one afternoon, all alone, waiting for him to finish patrolling, when he showed up, filthy and wet, with the absolute hugest smile on his face I think I had ever seen.
"Hey there, Sera," Embry greeted as he walked in. I nodded once at him, barely acknowledging him, my eyes searching for Seth.
He walked into the room, looking...maginificent. He was shirtless with a few dirt smudges here and there, but that was barely noticeable. It didn't flaw him in anyway, but rather made him look more beautiful and wild, like an ancient warrior. His beautiful copper skin shone through, illuminating the entire room. But what really struck me was his face. His absolutely flawless face.
He walked into the room, and when he saw me...it was amazing. Indescribable. His face went from that to a neutral expression to lighting up like the brightest moon and all the stars and suns and everything pure in the world. His eyes glowed with warm chocolate-honey orbs, his eyes lighter than his brothers' or even mine...
I had never seen anything more perfect in my life.
I felt myself fill, expand, move with the gravity of what I was feeling. Seth was amazing. Seth was here. Seth was everything.
His deep honey-chocolate eyes melted into mine.
I was home.
My heart was erractic, my breath coming in little gasps of air, almost like I was breathing trhough a straw. He rushed over to my side, moving like a graceful snake. He even moved beautiful...
"Sera, are you okay?" he asked worriedly, his eyes so close to mine...his mouth...his arms wrapped protectively around me...
Forget responding. His arms were around me, his arms were staring right into my soul, and he was here.
With me.
I felt like someone had just thrown a hammer at my head.
I realized at that moment that I would forever need Seth Henry Clearwater, like I needed air to breathe or anything else vital to my survival. I needed him, so much.
I loved him. But how could I not?
"Hi," I whispered, a small smile curving at my lips.
His answering smile was magnificent. His full lips stretched back over his white teeth, making my heart skip a beat or two. "Hi," he whispered back.
I felt his hand weave through mine tightly, and I squeezed back. I didn't have any qualms or stupid blushing or furrowed eyebrows. I was mine – my own – and Seth was more of me than I was of myself. He had me, from that day on.
I layed on my back and stared at the ceiling. My arms crossed my chest, holding my rib cage in, almost as if my fluttering heart would break free somehow and I was trying to keep it in. I closed my eyes tightly. If only, if only...
I had began to doze off, and my dreams were beginning to take shape. I was stuck in a dark alley, in a rainy town, watching two women, a blonde and a brunette, hiss at each other in Russian, angrily talking about what to do next.
All I knew is that they frightened me.
I had hardly been in the dream world long enough to discern what they were saying until I was woken up.
"SERA!" Allegra yelled. My eyes snapped open and saw that she was six inches from my face. I flinched, and she giggled.
"Oh – um, yeah?" I was startled awake, but wiping the sleep out of my eyes, I sat up. She had a quizzical expression on her face. "Why were you sleeping?" she asked.
I tried not to think about the beginnings of my dream, and tried to focus on my cousin. I got a better look at her face.
Sometimes I forgot just how gorgeous Allegra truly was. Closing in at about ten or eleven, she was already taller than my 4'11 height. Her dark copper ringlets fell a little ways past her shoulders since she liked to keep them reasonably short. Her startling green eyes were much like mine in the way that they always gave away what we were feeling – a fact that I sometimes hated. And whereas most people said I looked and moved like a ballerina dancer, most people commented on the fact that Allie's good looks and tall stature would land her a modeling job. I could see it.
"Just dozed off. Couldn't figure out what to wear." My eyebrows furrowed and a grimaced with distaste at the idea of getting ready and fashion. It was just fabric...right?
Allie giggled again. "Do you want me to help you?" she asked.
"Nah, I think I'm good," I told her, and trying to "prove" that I actually knew what I was doing, I quickly grabbed the first two things I saw.
She crossed her arms. "Sera?"
"Yeah?"
"Those don't match."
I blushed, caught in my lie. "Shut up," I grumbled.
Allegra's ringing laugh filled the small space. "It's okay, cousin. You wouldn't be the Sera we love if you didn't know how to dress yourself."
She entered the closet, scanned the racks, sniffed the fabrics a little, and then with a triumphant "hah!" she pulled out two articles of clothing that looked like they would match.
It was a white off-the-shoulder oversized t-shirt with a little decorative pocket on the left breast. It would hang well past my bottom. She also handed me a pair of black leggings, and to my extreme pleasure, my bright blue Chucks.
"Here you go. Do you know how to put it on correctly?" she asked ruefully.
I almost rolled my eyes. It was like talking to Embry sometimes! I swatted her butt. "Thanks for the help, now get out!" I said playfully, and she ran giggling out the room. I shook my head. She picked up more of Embry's sarcasm everyday.
After slipping on the outfit (and taking extra time to put on my Chucks, just because I loved them so much), I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn't stiffle the groan that came out of my mouth at the ridiculous mess on the top of my head. I could dress like the queen, and my hair would still have other ideas.
And then my mom walked in, smiling ear to ear. "I had to come see. Allie said she dressed you. I like the outfit, I might add," she said with a wink, which made her careful array of spiked hair practically vibrate.
"Thanks, Mom." I looked at myself back in the mirror. Ridiculous. Maybe a ponytail?
Mom sighed and came to stand next to me. We were now the same height. "I'll do your hair?" she offered.
I raised my eyebrow suspiciously. Every time she did something cosmetic or related to fashion for me, she found little ways to keep doing it. I know she loved it, so sometimes I indulged her, but my mind kept going back to when I was younger and she would torture me with three hour dress ups.
I almost shuddered. Maybe I needed therapy to get over it.
"Oh, c'mon!" she begged, her face taking on a pitiful expression.
I rolled my eyes. "Fine," I grumbled. It would look better if my mom did it...I just wasn't sure about tomorrow and what she would do then.
I still let her do it though. Thirty minutes and a hair full of rollers later, my hair was tumbling down my back in shiny and lustrious curls that actually looked decent. I got up and kissed her. "Thanks Mom. You're a lifesaver."
That she was, because the second I said that, Seth walked in through the door. "Sera, I'm here!" he bellowed from downstairs.
My heart skipped a beat or two. Like I wouldn't have known the exact moment he walked in through the door. I would have known what his footsteps sounded like in a crowded room, his heart beat in the middle of Times Square.
Mom smiled at me and kissed my cheek. "Have fun," she tod me knowingly. I blushed, and she giggled, pushing me out the door a little bit when I didn't move.
Just Seth, just Seth.
I practically fell down the stairs I wanted to get there so fast. Blushing, I centered myself again, and walked into the living room.
Seth POV
"So, this party?" Jasper said nervously, eyeing me in a way that made me want to shrink. Maybe he was using his gift on me. I wouldn't be surprised. No dad is thrilled with his daughter going to a party with heavy-drinking.
"Yeah, I know the guy – " I started, but didn't finish. I felt my center tugging in a direction behind me. I smelled her lavendar and musk scent, heard her fluttering heart, felt the heat coming off of her. Sera.
I turned around with a grin on my face. I couldn't wait to tell her –
I stopped cold. My breath came in short little wisps, my heart stuttered in an unhealthy way.
Holy.
Shit.
Wham. It came out of nowhere, like a wrecking ball knocking me on the side of my head. It practically felt like Life was beating the shit out of me.
I almost beat the shit out of myself.
Had I been blind up until this point?
Seraphina was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life.
Her raven-black hair fell in smooth curls down her back, although it still held that Sera untameability that I found surprisingly was very, very sexy. She was wearing a simple white oversized shirt that fell off the side of her slender pale shoulder. I could have stared at that exposed patch of skin forever, marvelling at how creamy and perfect it looked. She was wearing black leggings that clung to her skin and showed her curves in all the right places. And trust me, she had a lot of right curves. God Clearwater, how could you have never noticed? Shit. She wore no makeup, but angels don't need makeup if they're already flawless. Her eyelashes were a mile long, curving upwards, framing her amazing sapphire blue eyes better than any tube of mascara could. She could have hidden behind those eyelashes they were so long. The absolutely adorable way she peeked up at me through them, flaunting and taunting me with those amazing eyes I was in love with. Her eyes. No amount of words count describe how utterly perfect her eyes were. Dark blue with silver flecks in them. They resembled the night sky, even though no heaven on Earth could match her simple presence.
Although there was nothing simple about her presence. Not by a long shot.
The force of her just existing – her and now – almost felt like I was imprinting on her all over again.
My jaw was probably hanging to the floor.
How could I have never realized how in love with her I was?
Oh god, I was in love with Seraphina.
But I mean, of course I was. It was impossible not to fall in love with her. Now that I thought about it, it was seemed necessary to my survival to love her. It was necessary to my survival to love her. It seemed like common knowledge. She existed, therefore I did. How could I not love something so...perfect? Perfect and extraordianary and amazing and wonderful?
I loved her. So much.
It took me a good while to realize with horror that I realized this standing in front of Sera's father, a man that could read whatever I was feeling. I almost face-palmed myself.
Like a coward, I peeked over at Jasper, who was still standing beside me, still as stone. He had an unreadable expression on his face, although his was definitely staring at me. I could feel his golden eyes trained on my face, calculating me, almost as if the rubber band in my head was about to snap. Just the opposite. I felt like a new person, I would have done anything in that moment to give myself to Sera completely and rightly beg for her to give me a chance. I thanked everything that I had that Sera was my soul mate.
I felt so warm inside when I thought of the fact that this angel in front of me was my soul mate. What did I ever do in my life that was so extraordinary to get someone as amazing as Sera to give me half of her soul?
I could've sang.
I felt Jasper stiffen ever-so-slightly beside me.
At least he hadn't lunged, which meant he hadn't decided to kill me, which meant that he wasn't completely opposed to it. That was workable.
"Seth?" Sera said shyly with a slight flush playing at her cheeks. Her voice sounded like a choir of angels, ringing bells, sweet melodies. Perfect.
My mouth dropped again. She was truly stunning.
Sera quirked her eyebrow and moved closer to me. My heart started to race and my toes squidged a little bit. God, this woman...
Because Sera wasn't a girl anymore. She was a woman.
"Seth, are you not going answer me?" she asked lightly, her eyes sparkling with humor. I could've fallen to my knees.
"Oh, um. What was the question?" I asked dumbly, blushing a little bit, my heart racing a little faster.
Her mouth twitched, which made me, naturally, stare at her mouth. Her full lips, the perfect shell pink, what I wouldn't do to kiss them right now...
Focus. "You mentioned a party to my dad...?" she hinted, raising her eyebrow.
Dad. Standing here. Right. "Yeah, one of my buddies is having a party. It's the same buddy that threw a party the night before...before you were born." I realized that was a dumb mistake saying that little token of word vomit. I had sex the night before I imprinted on Sera.
I couldn't even remember that girl's face. Or her name. Or why I had sex with her in the first place.
I felt a little guilt pang at me. I should have never had sex. I should have saved myself so I could have given more to Sera. But I was an ignorant, immature teenager, and I was coerced my first time. My first time getting drunk, a girl I had never met before got me to have sex with her. I never saw her again, even though I swore I was in love with her. I gave up after about a month of trying to search for her.
I felt sick. I should never have done any of it. Sera should have owned every piece of me.
Since when did I think about sex with her now? Shoot me. Please.
"Are you okay, Seth?" Sera assked, crossing the space in between us and laying a hand on my arm. I felt electricity in her touch, shooting tingles down my arm. I peered down at her with an embarrassing blush on my face, realizing that she was watching me with a doe-eyed expression.
God, those eyes would be the death of me.
"I'm fine."
I've never said something so truthfully in my life. I had never been this okay ever before. As long as she was here, perfect, I would be perfect.
"That's good," she said, her fingertips lightly inching down my arm. She felt like satin, her touch was electric, her presence made me feel like I was imprinting over and over again. How could someone be so amazing –
"Ahem," Jasper said quietly, but it was enough to make us jerk apart almost three feet away from each other. I smiled sheepishly; Sera's face was highly furrowed and tomato red.
"It's fine for you to go, Seraphina. I trust that you'll take care of her, Seth?" Jasper asked, turning his golden stare at me. I felt a wave of fear wash over me. I knew it was Jasper, but it didn't make it any less potent. I gulped. "Y-Yes sir."
"I would like to talk to you, Seth," he said with a strained voice. I didn't want to move – I wanted to stare at Sera forever. But Sera gave me an encouraging expression with those big eyes of hers, and I knew that was all the strength I needed.
I was so in love with her.
Even though Jasper was probably going to chew me out. Literally. It probably wouldn't be above him to eat me.
Thank god I smelled like a wet dog to them.
"Outside," Jasper almost choked out. I gulped again, but followed him out at least semi-willingly.
"Emmett, Edward, come too," Jasper called at normal volume, and a second later, the two were standing in front of me, Edward smirking, Emmett with a devious grin on his face.
"Okay," I managed, even though I was practically trembling with fear right now. Edward nudged Jasper, and after seeing my face, he sighed, and lifted the emotion control from me. I still felt anxious though as an after effect. Maybe because I was actually scared.
Sera looked very confused, but Bella came downstairs and led her away, effectively keeping Sera out of the conversation.
We walked briskly until we got some ways into the forest, until the house was just a far away speck. Jasper got right down to business. "I know you're in love with my daughter," he spat.
I began to twist my fingers nervously. "I-I can't help it. She's hard not to love," I said quietly.
Jasper tugged at his hair. "She is three! This is the summer of her third year...god, why is this happening so fast?" he muttered, almost to himself, and Edward reached out to pat his shoulder.
"Happens to the best of us," Edward muttered, shaking his head in the general direction of Nessie and Jake's house. I knew that Edward fell off the deep end when it came to Nessie and Jake's relationship. Unlike my sitatuion, where Jasper was acting suspiciously calm compared to Edward, Edward made it no secret that he did not want them to be dating. It wasn't so much that he didn't want Jake to be dating her, it was the fact that she was dating at all. This was about the time, now thinking back, that Embry had started acting a little weirder around Nessie. Renesmee had boyfriends, and Jake chased away every single one. I had vivd memories of going on late-night runs with Jake to find his missing imprint, sometimes making out in a movie theater, other times making out at a party or on a wall or in a car. Edward had short-lived happiness when she finally found Jake, but short-lived being the key word when he realized they progressed more rapidly than anyone expected.
Especially not Edward. Edward expected it the least.
Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't remind me," he grumbled.
"Sorry," I muttered, still eyeing Jasper.
Jasper was clenching his teeth, staring deep into the forest. Emmett was quiet – too quiet, if you know what I mean. "He's not going to like hearing that," Edward said, shaking his head at Emmett. He shrugged.
"Hear what?" I asked.
Emmett shrugged again. "I was just thinking that I think Sera's mature enough to make desicions – "
Jasper's lip curled, and Emmett took a step back. "She's three, Em! No one seems to grasp that! She's got a wild side that I can see growing in her every day! The minute she's let loose, I'm afraid that she's going to do something to get in trouble – "
"I'd protect her," I mumbled.
Jasper growled, and I shrank back. "When have you ever been able to tell her what to do?" he hissed.
"She always listened to me, when no one could make her see sense..." I mumbled again, stepping back a couple of steps.
Jasper's teeth snapped together, and I flinched at the sound. "I know! I know! Agh, I hate this! I hate that she's growing up!" he said furiously, punching a nearby tree, making a clean hole straight through it. One more step back.
He rounded on me, and my eyes bulged. I could feel my emotions doing 360's, probably because Japser was highly agitated and wasn't controlling his gift. It made me feel a little woozy. "You! If my little girl gets hurt at by you, I will make sure you never live to see the light of day again!" he snapped.
My mouth actually dropped. Did he actually think I would ever hurt that girl? I would rather cut off my own limbs before I hurt her in any way. "How could you think that I would do anything to hurt her, Japser?" I whispered in shock. I couldn't...I couldn't even comprehend hurting her. I couldn't even envision it. There would be nothing I would do in my life that would not be in her best interest.
His nostrils flared. "Promise me!"
"I promise," I choked out, although I was almost insulted. Even suggesting I would hurt her...I just – I just couldn't even. That would be like suicide.
Jasper's eyebrows furrowed, and he glared down at his feet. His face danced in a curious way, about a million different emotions flitting across it at the same time.
But most of all, I saw Seraphina.
Surprisingly, I realized at that moment just how much Sera was like Jasper. Everyone thought Sera was Alice's mini-me, but the more I watched Jasper, the more I saw Sera. His deep furrow whenever he had a heavy emotion, just like Sera. His empathy for everything. Sera could look at one person and tell what their emotion was and had an uncanny ability of knowing how to help them. Sera might have visions, but they meant little, because her mannerisms, the way she spoke, her quiet joy for life...it was all there.
She was her father's daughter.
"Jasper, you have to believe me," I begged. His eyes turned up to look at me. They were a lot more gentle this time around. "I would never hurt her. Ever."
Jasper stared at me for a long time, such a long time that I began to figet. He just had to believe me.
Jasper let out a huff. Another Sera thing. "I believe you, Seth. But you must understand where I'm coming from. My daughter is three years old. She looks fifteen, and you're in love with her – "
"Yeah, but you have to admit that she's always been on the more mature side," I said, "She gets that from you, you know. She's like you."
"More like Alice," he murmured.
I shook my head. "No, not Alice. Sure, she has Alice's spunk and looks, but not much else. She takes after you."
He seemed a little shocked as he registered what I was saying. "You think so?" he asked.
I nodded. "Yeah. I think if you wanted to get through her her, besides me, you'd be the one most likely to do it."
He nodded, trying to comprehend what I was saying, and looked away. Edward gave him a crooked smile. "Don't worry, I realized the same with Nessie. Unfortunately for her, she picked up on my temper. Bella has a quiet temper, Renesmee's is more likely to throw a chair through the wall than anything else." He laughed.
Jasper blanched.
"Do you believe me?" I pressed.
Jasper looked over to me. His eyes were a thousand miles away, and he looked very, very old. "I believe you, Seth," he said in a voice no louder than a whisper.
Before I had a chance to respond, he was backing away from me. "Keep her safe tonight. I need some time away. I'm going to retrieve Alice, but I'll be there to see that she leaves with you. Don't expect us back until morning." And with that statement, he flew away from us.
"Not even a punch in for the dog? Fuck!" Emmett cursed, pouting. Of course Emmett would be down for a fight. Edward and I shook our heads at him.
Edward turned to face me, sighing. "Sera will be wondering where you are and if you're dead yet," he told me. I didn't need no further explanation or encouragement. I sprinted back to the house.
I ran up the steps to the front porch, but like always, Sera was a few steps ahead of me, literally this time, and tackled me from the side. "Oof!" I said, feeling myself flying towards the floor.
We fell to the ground with a loud thud, and although I wasn't hurt, I layed there for a few seconds, mentally evaluating my body to feel if I was hurt.
Hurt and pain were far from my mind though.
Sera was on top of me. Like, on top of me. Oh my god.
Quick, think about your mother!
The effect was satisfactory. I kept my cool, but my body was still on fire from Sera's heat.
I looked down at her face. She was biting her lip, blushing furiously. She looked so beautiful it took my breath away. "I, uh, couldn't help it. I though Daddy was going to kill you. I got overexcited," she explained, blushing harder. I smiled, can't helping but running a fingertip across her overheated cheek. She looked up at me in surprise.
"It's okay," I told her, smiling.
Her full lips formed an O, her wide eyes trained on me. Would it be bad for me to start leaning in?...
Just as I couldn't help myself, Sera jumped off of me gracefully and landed onto her feet. This made me blush. "What time are we leaving?" she asked quickly, lending her hand out to help me up. I get to touch her again! She's letting me touch her! An over-jubuliant voice shouted in my head. The little Seth in me did a happy dance. Trying to keep the stupid grin off my face, I grabbed her hand, feeling the electricity shoot up my palm. I almost forgot to breathe, but shockingly Sera was stronger than I realized, and lifted up my practical dead-weight with one arm.
My mouth dropped a little bit. "Wow, you're strong," I said without thinking, and then blushed.
Sera's mouth quirked and then blushed. "I've been strong ever since I was born," she said quietly, looking away.
My hands were getting sweaty and I probably had a dopey smile on my face. She gulped. "Um...what time is the party?" she asked again, blushing harder.
Glub, glub, glub – was it healthy for my heart to be beating this hard? It was like I had never done this before. Talked to a girl, I meant. Not that anything before had mattered...but still. "Nine," I told her.
She peered into the window, into the house, looking at the clock on the wall. "It's eleven in the morning," she stated.
I panicked. What was I supposed to do until then? She'd probably want to get ready for the party or something. "Yeah...I just wanted to come by to tell you that this party was tonight. There's gonna be drinking and stuff, but you're with me...so you'll be fine. I know the guy, he's nice enough, but he used to be a frat boy in college, so he knows how to throw a party, and he lives out in the middle of no where too, so his parties can be as wild as he wants. And he doesn't worry about police or anything like that. I don't know if I told you, but I used to work as a construction worker for a little bit before you were born since I needed something to do, and he was on the job with me, so that's how I know him. And we can go in my yellow Camaro since I haven't driven it in awhile – "
"Seth."
"Yeah?" I gasped. My name sounded amazing coming from her lips.
"You talk a lot."
My jaw dropped and then I blushed deeply. Stupid nervous word vomit. "O-Oh yeah. Sorry." I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck. Now that I've made a fool out of myself too...
She smiled lightly. "It's okay."
She tugged my arm down and pecked my cheek. It seemed like a friendly gesture...but it set me on fire, sent my heart going at a speed that would challenge a race car driver, made my palms slick, and left me dazed in the best way possible. Blushing herself, she darted inside with a quick "see you tonight" over her shoulder.
I was left standing dumbfounded and dopey on the Cullens' front porch. I couldn't wait for tonight.
Sera POV
I was shocked at myself as I flitted up to my room. When had I become so bold?
And why was Seth acting so weird?
I mean, he acted like a dork, through and through. Tripping over words, talking too much, staring at me, blushing like an idiot –
No. It couldn't be.
Don't get your hopes up Seraphina, he'll only see you as a friend, my mind whispered to itself as I peered into the mirror. I sighed heavily. I got to wear my outfit for about thirty minutes today. I'd have to take it off for tonight.
Tonight...
The thought about going to my very first party left a ball of anticipation in my stomach. It also left me worried. I had never been around that many humans in such a condensed and tightly-packed area in my life. Sure, I had been to public places before, but they were never so crowded where I felt enclosed. Tonight would be a first.
No. I refused to let my thirst get the better of me. I was also part human – I could do this.
I looked out of my bedroom window and into the forest. I should probably go hunting.
Pulling my hair into a ponytail on the way downstairs, I was almost out the door when my father stepped in front of me with a grave expression. I cocked my eyebrow. "What the matter, Dad?"
"I'm nervous about tonight," he admitted, his expression going tight.
I sighed. "Dad, I'll be okay. Seth will be there."
Something flashed acrossed his face, and before I had time to decipher it, he composed himself and sighed. "Yes, I suppose he is. But remember – don't put your glass down, don't get in the car with someone drinking, don't go off with strangers – "
I chuckled. "Firstly, I know the rules of safe behavior. Secondly, for tips two and three, humans can't hurt me, Dad. If, for any reason, I drove off with someone who was drinking and we crashed, I would be uninjured, or I would simply think fast enough to take over the wheel and get us out safe. And strangers can't hurt me. I'm stronger than all of them put together."
"What about thirst – "
"That's where I'm headed off to now. I'm going to hunt before I get ready." Sheesh, Dad sure was overprotective. Of course, he would have let me go to the party anyways because he finds me hard to resist when I ask for something, but I suppose he was just being a dad. Dads are just naturally overprotective.
His face got all tight again. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his waist. "I'll be fine, Daddy."
He huffed, and then wrapped his arms around my shoulders, because I was so short. "I'm just worried."
I looked up at him and smiled. "I'll call you if I accidentally attack someone or Seth passes out drunk."
He growled. "Seth better not – "
I rolled my eyes. "Jeez, Dad. I was kidding. Seth wouldn't, not with me there."
He let out an aggravated sigh. "I know." He seemed a lot more angry with this fact than what should have been necessary. I almost asked him, but there was a burning in the back of my throat from going without blood for so long.
Dad lightly nudged me. "Go hunt," he said, "But Allie hasn't hunted in a while either; I heard her complaining earlier this morning to Embry."
"Yeah, take me," Allegra said, bustling into the room with her wild curls splayed everywhere. Embry followed closely behind. "Coming too," he added with a smirk. I had to roll my eyes. Embry just has that effect on people.
"C'mon gang, let's go," I said, stepping away from my Dad and opening the door. Embry snickered and followed suit with Allie closely behind him, watching his every move with adoring eyes.
Great. I knew that look from anywhere.
Poor Allie. She had a couple years to go before she realized how much the situation sucked.
It would only be a matter of time before she fell in love with Embry.
And he wouldn't probably fall back.
My heart reached out for my cousin.
Trying to settle for a calm faҫade even though my thoughts and emotions were far from it, Allie and I took off into the trees while Embry stripped down to phase.
This new lead gave Allie and I an advantage. Even though in their wolf forms they were faster than us, we still were fast runners.
I felt the warm air whip past me as I saw with perfect clarity the surrounding forestry and animals. I heard the soft thuds of Embry's paws gaining on us. I jumped up onto a high branch, jumping from perch to perch lithely instead of running. I flipped gracefully from one branch to another, and soon, I was far ahead of both Allie and Embry.
I stopped on an older tree perch and closed my eyes, giving myself over completely to my vampire side and the hunt. Although I was impaired as being that I was only half vampire, I could still hunt as effectively as any vampire could, since it was purely instinctual.
Normal thought left my mind, and my mind was replaced with that of a predator's.
I closed my eyes and listened closely to the forest. Some ways back I could hear Allegra's fluttering heart with Embry's heavy-beating one, mixed with his panting and normal animal sounds. Diverting my attention to the opposite end of the forest, I stretched my senses as far as they would go into the thick brush.
About three and a half miles away, I heard the sinous movement of muscles belonging to a mountain lion, stalking its prey. Its warm, wet heart made my mouth water. I didn't waste any time – I immediately began my pursuit.
Jumping gracefully from branch to brach, it seemed almost too easy for me to take this thing down. It had no idea that I was quickly closing in.
Far in the trees, I spotted it. It was watching a herd of deer, a mother and a baby. My chest contracted and I almost hissed. Stupid animal. Why would it take down a mother? The baby would be defenseless. And if it killed the baby...I know it's stupid, thinking of animals in human terms even though I was a predator myself, but I could only imagine the pain the mom would go through if that happened.
Yeah, I know, stupid. But it gave me the pep talk I needed.
I lunged.
The lion saw me coming in mid-leap and shrieked at me in warning. I jumped on top of its back, and it fought uselessly to get me off of him. I hugged its neck with all of my strength, and while it reared up its front, the new position was perfect for my new angle. Calculating carefully what I would do, I swung my legs out in front of the cat so I was standing in front of its reared front. The thing was several feet taller than me, but I crouched, knowing that it wouldn't stand a chance. As it brought its front legs down with its jaw snapping, I leaped up, knocking it backwards and sinking my teeth into it at the same time.
There wasn't much of a fight after that.
Its warm blood flowed hot and sweet into my mouth as I drank it down greedily and felt myself become more and more satiated. It shrieked a few more times, tried to fight a little harder, but soon, it felt limp in my arms.
I let the body fall to the floor and wiped my bloody face with disgust. I didn't hunt very often, so I needed to perfect my hunting skills a little better. We couldn't all be like Aunt Bella who came back without a single hair out of place.
My white shirt was trashed too. Not so much with the blood – only a few stains here and there – but the mountain lion's claws definitely had better luck with my shirt than anything else. It fell in tatters, exposing my torso fairly well.
I groaned. At least my precious Converse made it out okay.
I listened for Allie and Embry again. About a mile away, I heard Allegra's greedy sucking noises and Embry's chewing. Following the noise, I reached them in no time.
Allie was holding a large elk in her arms, which looked rather hilarious considering she was physically ten. Embry was tearing off slabs of meet with another drained one.
"Wow, two elk, Allegra?" I asked, jumping down off my tree branch, doing a graceful flat-spin, and then landing quietly on the balls of my feet right in front of Embry.
Embry snorted, which was his wolf's equivalent to a sarcastic comment. I ignored him. "What happened to your shirt?" Allie asked, letting her second carcass fall the the ground. With chagrin I realized that she had actually faired better than me.
"Got into a wrestling match with a mountain lion. It was fun," I told her, shrugging, looking down at myself again. I could feel the air seeping in through my back, signifying that there was probably a large hole on the back of my shirt. The holes on the front of my shirt had gotten worse. And there was more blood than I realized.
"You have blood all over your face too," Allie commented, watching Embry finish his meal.
I guess a shower was in order when I got home.
When Embry finished, we ran as a group back to the house. It started out just as a run back to the house, but then soon, Allie and I got competitive, and began racing each other. Embry was so full he couldn't keep up. Allie was really full too since she had two animals and I had one, so I got there first. On a normal day, I would have sworn that Allegra could have beaten me, because of how long her legs were compared to mine, and considering that her grandfather was the fastest vampire I had ever met and her father was the second fastest wolf in the pack, only behind Leah.
I did a weird celebratory dance when I got to the lawn first, and Allegra busted up at me. Grinning, and too wound up with energy from the hunt and having fresh blood in my veins, I leaped on top of the house and went to my room that way.
"Seraphina," my mother chastisized from downstairs, "Don't jump on the house. You'll break something."
Snickering, I went into the bathroom.
Yeah, I was a mess.
Discarding all of the ruined clothes and tossing them outside my door, I quickly jumped into the shower, letting the warm water spray over me.
I poured some soap onto a rag and began to wash myself, starting at my shoulders and working my way down. What should I wear tonight? I wanted to look good for Seth, even if he wouldn't notice me. Who knows, maybe he would –
I was washing my lower stomach, and I had brushed over my lady area. I blinked in surprise. That felt...good. Too good, in fact.
I looked down at myself. Was it supposed to feel like that?
As a test, I tried it again, and I couldn't help my eyes rolling back into my head. Oh...oh my god.
I bit down on my lip to keep a moan in. I shut my eyes tightly and leaned back against the wall, going a little faster. It seemed natural that I would visualize. Seth, shirtless, was a good place to start. Oh god, he had the most adorable smile, and the kindest eyes – what would his eyes look like if he were turned on...
I had no trouble picturing.
And his hands – his big, warm hands – what would they feel like running all over me? Tangled in my hair?
My breathing started to get faster and faster. I felt a fire starting to pool in my stomach...
Wait, what was I doing? I lived in a house full of vampires. If I didn't stop...I'd never be able to look at them in the face.
I immediately put down the rag, the scent of my arousal filling the shower. My legs were getting a little trembly.
Wow.
Trying to clear my head, I tried to think of anything else but Seth and rags, and began shampooing and conditioning my hair quickly. I was out just minutes after that.
I grabbed my robe and a towel, drying myself off and then wrapping my hair with the towel. I walked into my room and straight into my closet.
Crap. This was the hard part.
I had never actually been to a party before, so what did you wear? How dressed up or dressed down did you get?
I hissed at myself. I was completely useless.
"This is starting to become a habit," Nessie said, striding into my closet. I smiled.
"Thanks, Ness."
She smiled at me, sniffed the air once, and walked to a far corner of the huge closet where I had never even ventured before. Without even looking at them, she lifted three garment bags and put them onto my center ottoman.
"Close your eyes. I want to surprise you," she said, a grin in her voice. Smirking, I put my hands over my eyes.
After three zippers came undone and a bit of rustling, she said, "Okay, open your eyes."
Three dresses layed across the ottoman. One was black, one was red, and one was yellow.
"Eesh, yellow," I said, eyeing the color. I hated yellow. Nodding, Nessie grabbed that one and hung in back up on the rack. She held up the black one.
It was black lace with a plunging neckline and delicate straps on the shoulders. My mouth dropped and I blushed. I had never worn something so...daring before.
Nessie giggled. "Hopefully Seth's reaction will be something like that too," she commented.
I blushed harder. "Hopefully," I grumbled, even though I highly doubted it.
Setting the black one down, shee held up the blue one. I immediately didn't like it. It looked too much like a prom dress to me.
"No, the black one is the best," I said, although I could hardly believe the words coming out of my mouth. The thing looked closer to lingerie than anything.
She grinned. "I agree," she said, waggling her eyebrows. She began to look at my shoe collection, shoes I had never even given a second glance at in my life. She puller out a pair of silver pumps.
"These ones," she said, handing me them. They felt so foreign in my hands.
She was staring at me expectantly. Sighing, I slipped on the stupid shoes and walked around in them a little bit. Not too hard. I had enough vampire in me to not worry about falling over or not being able to walk in them.
She gave me an appraising look. "You know Sera, I think this is the first time I have ever seen you in heels."
I blushed. "I've walked in heels loads of times," I lied.
She put a hand on her hip. "Oh yeah? Name one time."
I came up short.
She pealed with laughter. "Yeah...never."
I stuck my tongue out at her in a childish way and snatched the dress out of her hands. I was about to kick her out so I could change when she handed me a set of clothes that really did make me blush.
It was a black lace push-up bra and matching panties.
When I just stared at it like it was about to explode, Nessie giggled again. "C'mon, Sera. Take them. They'll make you feel powerful."
I peeked up at her through my eyelashes shyly. "Do they?" I asked. This was the first I was hearing about this.
She nodded and placed them into my hand. "Trust me, they do. I wear power lingerie with Jake all the time – "
I fought the urge to gag. "Oh please, stop."
She grinned. "I'll be right outside the door," she promised, and strode out of the room. I shook my head. Maybe getting tips from her would be a bad idea.
Sliding off the robe, I quickly put on the bra and panties set. I blushed again when I saw myself in the mirror.
I didn't take off my shoes, so I was wearing a pair of five-inch stilettos with matching black lace bra and panties.
I almost started hyperventilating. But if this worked and Seth noticed me, I would be forever grateful.
I slipped on the dress and checked myself out in the mirror. Again with the hyperventilating.
"You can come in," I called weakly to Nessie.
She walked in saying something, I didn't know what, but she stopped mid-sentence, her jaw dropping. "Holy...I...holy shit, Sera. You're gonna be fighting the guys off with a stick, and not just Seth."
I grinned. "Does that mean you like it?"
"It means that I don't even want to guess what's going to happen tonight," she said, her long bronze curls falling into her face as she eyed me up and down.
I bit my lip to hide my grin, but didn't say anything. If she was right, I knew one thing. I couldn't wait for tonight.
Seth POV
I was pacing around my kitchen, trying to beg time to go faster. It was already slow as hell, seemingly stuck at 8:04. Jake and Embry were over, watching me talk out of my ass and becoming more and more agitated.
"I mean, she kissed my cheek. I don't know what that means. Does she want to be my girlfriend? Or does she see me as a friend? Oh god, I don't even know – maybe I should cancel tonight! No wait, I can't do that. But what if other guys try to hit on her? I mean, she's beautiful, but what if she like...likes one of those guys? And she decides that she wants to love him and forget all about me?" I looked desperately over to Jake and Embry, who were watching me pace around like a madman with wide-eyed stares.
They exchanged a glance. "Bro, I think you need to calm yourself – " Embry started, but it was too late. I started again.
"No, no, she couldn't forget all about me. I imprinted on her – yes, that would be impossible. The stories say so. So she just couldn't. And she's my soul mate. But she doesn't know it yet! Oh god, this could go so wrong! And what if she drinks? Jake, how do hybrids react to alcohol?" I demanded, close to tears.
Jake stood up and approached me slowly like I was about to spontaneously combust. "They react to alcohol normally, just like everyone does – "
"What if she drives while she's drunk?" I squeaked, running my hands through my hair. I was going to pass out.
Jake grabbed my shoulder and steered me to the sofa. "One, she doesn't know how to drive so she won't be driving. Two, hybrids could drink twice as much as a linebacker can and still not be half as drunk as him. It would take a lot of alcohol for her to put away to get drunk, and you don't even know if she's going to be drinking tonight anyways. Three, it would be impossible for her to forget you, with all of the vampire-retaining-information abilities and the fact that you have been all she's known since the day she came out of the womb. Trust me, I would know," Jake said, smiling. Darn it. I tried to smile back, but it came out as a grimace.
Jake sighed. "You made a little bit of a mess of yourself. Go up and change before you have to leave," he suggested.
"A mess? What did I do?" I squeaked, looking down at myself. No, my clothes seemed fine.
Embry sighed too. "Chill. Out. You're all red and flushed like you just ran a marathon, and you messed up your hair from running your goddamn hand through it so many times."
"Crap," I muttered, darting upstairs. I heard Jake sigh behind me. What was with all the sighing?
Embry was right. My hair was sticking in every direction, and my face was red, and my forehead was damp with sweat.
Trying to will myself to calm down, I pulled my face down to the sink and splashed my face with icy water. It helped a lot. I also fixed my hair back to normal.
When I walked downstairs, Embry and Jake were setting out three shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. I cocked my eyebrow curiously. "What's this?" I asked.
"Your overdue tranquilizer," Embry muttered, pouring some alcohol into the shot glass. Jake chuckled but then stiffled his laughter when he saw my face.
Embry handed me the drink. "Please – feel free to take some more," Embry said as I downed the shot in one gulp.
The alcohol burned its way down my throat and I automatically felt the calming effects. Better.
Jacob watched Embry pour us all a shot and me a second glass with worry. "Dude, if you get too drunk to drive, just call me up."
I shook my head. "Nah, I would never chance that with Sera," I said, shrugging. Embry rolled his eyes.
"So what you're saying is that you're going to choose to be an uptight prude the whole tight."
I frowned. "I'm not a prude. I've had sex before." Unfortunately. Never thought I'd be saying that, but yeah. I regretted having sex before Sera. If I had only imprinted sooner...
"Kid, I saw your game earlier with Sera. Good luck." He mimicked my jaw-dropping and stumbling over my feet, screaming, "Sera! Wait, my love!"
...I couldn't really deny it.
I shook my head and lifted my drink in a toast. "To making my game better," I said, rolling my eyes at Embry. He grinned.
The three of us downed the shots at the same time. I made a face when I felt the liquid singe its way down my throat for the second time. "The last time I got drunk, I skinny-dipped in the ocean, woke up half-naked in the same bed as Collin, and then puked in the shower. Never again." I shuddered. Leah actually did have to replace my sheets after Collin puked on my old bed.
Jacob grinned. "Fun night," he said.
I chuckled. "I remember punching Brady for some reason. And then Embry – "
I looked over at Embry and stopped. He hadn't said anything. Jake's bachelor party wasn't the epitome of happiness in Embry's life.
"Dude, I'm sorry – " I began, but he cut me off.
"It's cool," he said, shrugging, "I have Allie now. Everything makes sense again."
I glanced over at Jacob, who seemed suddenly concerned with whatever was on the refridgerator. I mentally cursed my big mouth. I began thinking of subject changers, and then Sera, like always, popped into my mind. "What do you think Sera's gonna wear?" I wondered out loud.
"She'll look gorgeous," Jake promised, patting me on the back. I smiled and looked down. Yeah, she had a way of doing that.
Embry snorted. "You look like a pansy the way you blush and look down at your feet."
"I didn't know you paid so much attention to what I do Embry. Take a picture, it lasts longer," I shot back. Jake and Embry's jaw dropped. My jaw almost dropped the second I said it. It sounded so foreign, saying something snarky.
Must be the tequila.
Jake whistled. "Dang, down boy," he said, shaking his head at me.
Embry chortled. "Sethy's growing some balls."
I frowned. "Hey, I have balls," I complained.
Embry rolled his eyes. "Aaaaaand he's back."
I didn't care though – I looked at the clock, and it was 9:07. I pocketed my keys and my ID and some money, hoping that I would commit them to being there for the whole night. Jake and Embry screamed, "GO FETCH SETHY!" on the way out the door.
I snorted with laughter, climbing into my baby – my yellow Camaro. "Fuck you guys, I'm going to have a blast," I said, peeling out of the driveway. And I meant it.
Calm down, Seth, just Sera, just Sera...
I tapped my foot nervously in the living room, repeating that chant like a mantra in my head. It wasn't working.
I shifted uncomfortabley under Jasper's gaze. Well, it was more like a glare than anything, really. He sat still as stone with his hands resting unmoving on either knee, staring at me unwaveringly. I didn't think he was affecting my mood...maybe.
"We're almost ready," I heard Nessie call from upstairs. I took a deep breath. This was it.
I was more than glad to retreat from Jasper. He said he trusted me...but I was beginning to doubt him.
Nessie was wearing an evil grin, smiling at me like I was about to get hit by a train and I didn't know it. I immediately distrusted it.
But little did I know how correct that statement would be.
"Rose, you almost ready?" she called upstairs.
"Yes," she said smoothly, emerging about ten seconds later, gliding down the stairs in Rosalie fashion.
"Come on out, Sera," Nessie said, grinning even wider.
Sera came into sight. Oh my fucking god –
BAM.
The train hit.
... My thoughts were a little something like that.
Sera...holy crap.
I didn't care that her father was ten feet away and gaping at Sera like his sanity was being ripped out and stepped on. I didn't care that Nessie and Rosalie were snickering at my face, or the fact that I was blatantly and openly staring at her...but holy shit. Just...holy shit.
I was pretty sure I was drooling.
She was wearing the sexiest dress I had ever seen in my life. It was black lace with a plunging neckline – holy crap, her boobs looked amazing – cut short and tight to show off her amazing body and superior legs. I knew that if she turned around...oh god. Her ass would be just as superior, I just knew it.
Fuck me, I moaned in my head.
Sera was biting her full, pouty lip – oh my god – and trying not to giggle. I could see that Rosalie had done her hair and makeup. Her hair fell in perfect waves that reminded me of the ocean that reflected every light in the room, I swear to you. She had on eye make-up too, something she never did. It was like a smoky-eye thing that made the blue stand out in her eyes and made me want to take a very cold shower.
Thank god Jasper wasn't a mind-reader.
He still had the second worst option for a father though. He could read everything I was feeling, which was almost as bad as him reading my mind. And right now, he was glaring at me with a mixture of anger and resentment.
You're welcome, Nessie said, pressing her palm to my arm. I turned and gave her a wide-eyed stare. I wasn't sure if I should be thanking her or not.
By the look on Jasper's face, I knew I was in trouble.
"Hey," Sera said rather confidently, and Jasper looked like he was ready to blow a gasket.
My tongue hadn't found its way back into my mouth again. I couldn't form words.
Sera looked like every single fantasy I had hoped to ever conjure in my brain, only a million times better. I didn't even know someone this sexy could even exist...
Sera batted her impossibly long eyelashes at me. "Are we going?" she asked innocently. I gulped.
"Yeah," I tried to say, but it came out sounding like I was a chipmunk on helium.
If the ground had swallowed me whole then, at least I would have died with this sight in my head.
Sera giggled and went to hug her dad. He looked close to a stroke if he could have had one, but he hugged her back. "Here, have my phone just in case," he said, handing her his new, shiny black phone. She smiled and took it. "Thanks, Dad."
She strode away from him, tucking the phone into her bra, swaying her hips side to side as she walked to the door. I gulped and Jasper growled at me.
I booked it to the car after that.
The summer air was nice, but I could have gone for a wind icy cold to slap me out of my stupor.
"You look gorgeous," I breathed, away from the angry eyes of Jasper and the snickers of Nessie and Rose. It was a little stuffy in there. I pulled at the collar of my plaid shirt, feeling overheated.
She turned and gave me a million-watt smile, stunning me momentarily. "Thanks. You look nice too," she commented, even giving me the up-and-down.
For fuck's sake, I was going to be in soooo much trouble.
As it turns out, driving with your hot imprint in a dress that barely covers is harder than it looks.
Jake and Jared and Sam and Paul must have lots of practice, because I found it very hard to keep my eyes on the road when I had something much more tempting to stare at.
The road, or Sera. Which one would you have chosen?
We drove in silence, a smile playing on those temptingly full lips of hers the entire time, drawing absentminded circles on the creamy, exposed skin of her legs, which was distracting in more ways than one.
I was happy that we hadn't gotten into a wreck by the time we got there.
True to John's form, his house was bursting at the seams with people. Cars were parked everywhere, so I had to drive some ways into the dirt to find a suitable parking spot.
I jumped out of the car after parking and ran around to the passenger side, opening the door for her and offering my hand to her.
"Thank you," she said evenly, putting her soft hand into my large one and pulling herself up. Her heat brushed up against me deliciously, and I had to fight the urge to pin her again the side of the car and kiss the crap out of her.
"No problem," I said gruffly, shutting the door behind her and locking the car. People acted dumb when they got wasted, so I actually made sure it was locked twice.
There was a group of three guys standing outside, talking and laughing loudly. I placed my hand on the small of Sera's back in a possessive way. These guys were up to no good.
One guy caught sight of Sera and nudged his friend. The other friend also looked, his jaw dropping. Sera didn't seem to notice, but I sure did.
Mine. My statue and demeanor and warning glare told them that they shouldn't even try anything. One of them backed up ever so slightly. Damn right, she's mine.
We walked into the house, and the place was beyond crowded, bursting with energy. The bass coming off the speakers vibrated inside my chest, pulsing through the walls and floorboards. A large group of people were grinding on each other in the middle of the floor. The lights were turned off, but blacklights and neon lights were lit all around the room, causing everyone's skin to pulse in a strange way. There was a fog machine running too, although it wasn't overwhelming. Hundreds of unused cups were piled in the corner with the four bartenders, who were handing out drinks right and left on a makeshift table.
Yep. This was John's party.
I looked down at Sera to make sure she was okay. She had a bright grin on her face, taking in everything. She was so beautiful.
She looked up at me and I bent down so I could hear her better. "Do you want a drink?" she asked.
"Oh honey, I can do that – " I started.
She shook her head. "No, it's okay. Is a beer fine?" she asked. I nodded, already spying a mostly free couch. I'd wait there until she got back.
Sera POV
"Hey beautiful, what can I get you?" said one of the guys pouring drinks at the table. I smiled and leaned in across the table. I heart his heart race a little faster.
"Two beers," I said into his ear. Nodding, he pulled two ice cold beers out of the cooler beside him and handed them to me.
"Thanks," I said, flashing him a smile.
Nessie was a genius. Not only was she correct about me getting Seth's attention, but the whole power bra thing was working wonders. I felt so much more confident – testimony to my newfound flirting skills.
I was a little bit worried about my dad though. He looked like he was angry when he saw me. He also looked angry at Seth too.
Oh well, I wasn't here to think about my dad. Or think about much of anything, really. I wanted to have a good time, with people who weren't necessarily my family or the pack.
I turned around, trying to find Seth. I figured it wouldn't be hard – just search for the tallest head. But he was no where to be found.
Even with five-inch heels on, I was still short. And there was no way I was going to be able to see around this sea of people.
I was near the edge of the massive crowd but angling towards the middle, the perfect spot for guys trying to pick up on girls. A drunkard staggered up to me, almost spilling his drink and blowing his alcoholic breath across my face. "Hey baby, you're the hottest thing in this place," he said, trying to push me against the wall. I rolled my eyes.
"No thank you," I said politely, deftly ducking underneath him to get away. My movement must have been too fast for his drunken state, or he was just an idiot, because while spinning around to try to get ahold of me, he must have gotten dizzy, and promptly fell onto the floor. I scuttled away.
How hard was it to find a huge Native American man? There wasn't anyone here near Seth's stature. A couple guys came close, but the most definitely were not Seth.
While on my search, one guy came up to me and started grinding from behind me, while waving at his friends to look. While his attention was diverted, I pulled away easily from his grasp and ignored his friends' catcalls from behind me.
I had made it to the other side of the room in one piece, although a few more catcalls sounded the air from the guy that tried to grind on me. I shook my head.
There, found him. He was sitting on the couch, talking to some girl that seemed to be relatively sober. She was obviously flirting, which made me mad, because Seth, true to his nature, didn't notice. I almost walked in between them.
I was striding confidently over to Seth, earning a few more glances, until I saw the one thing that made me stop cold.
She leaned in, her eyes glinting like a hungry tiger's, and she kissed Seth.
She kissed him.
She kissed him.
It was lik a wave of blackness, a wave of red, a wave of sadness came crashing down on me mercilessly.
My world went spiralling downhill at that point.
I stepped back, not believing what I was seeing. Seth...oh no. Oh no oh no oh nononononononono...
And then I saw, straight out of a horror film, his mouth beginning to move with hers.
Gripping onto whatever sanity I had left, I speedwalked to the nearest bathroom. I had to get away form him. He...no.
Seth disgusted me.
He kissed her back! He kissed her! I shut the door tightly behind me, ensuring I wouldn't be disturbed. I fell to the ground at that point, clutching my ribs, trying to hold what was left of my heart.
It was in tatters.
Tears fell freely from my face, and I was too much into my own suffocating vortex, too gone into the bleak world that layed ahead to even care.
Every tear was like a razor blade cutting down my face. Every breath I took felt like a gunshot wound to my chest. And my heart – if you could even call it that anymore – was the worst part.
I couldn't even describe it. But I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I crawled feebily to the toilet and gagged in a desperate way to somehow get rid of the contaminents in my body. Maybe I could puke my brains out and not have to remember the past five minutes of my life.
For the millionth time in my life, my body betrayed me, yet again. Nothing could ever be simple for me. I couldn't even puke when I wanted to, because my stomach would never allow it. It was too strong.
That was one strong thing about me at this moment.
I couldn't think of anything else to add to that list.
And the worst part was that girl, that hungry temptress that seduced Seth – she was probably better than me.
No, I was sure of it. She had almond shaped eyes and perfect blonde hair, with perfect make up and a supermodel build that had legs up to there. Of course I couldn't compare. There was nothing to compare.
She was perfect in every way, and I was a freak among freaks among freaks. I was supernatural. I was half-vampire, and an adopted one at that. I saw things I didn't want to see and there wasn't an aspect of my life that wasn't handed mercilessly over to that fucking supernatural world.
It felt good, cussing. I had never even thought a bad word in my life. Until now.
Who fucking cared anymore?
I snatched desperately at the can of beer. Not even bothering with the beer tab at the top, I stabbed a hole on the top with my thumb and drank it down in three long gulps.
More. I needed more.
I did the same for the second can.
I grimaced in disgust. I didn't feel a single change. I could still remember every agonizing detail of that encounter. I could still see the way his lips moved with hers, the way her eyes glinted like the hungry monster she was.
I dug my nails deep into my arm, sobbing, trying to get a grip. I was being suffocated.
My nails broke the surface of my skin, sinking deeper and deeper. I cried out in pain, but I didn't stop. The pain erased memories of what I saw just a little bit. A little bit was good. It was better than nothing. This pain distracted me from the pain of heartbreak.
I would take this pain any day.
I only stopped when the palm of my hand was cupped full of blood, splattering onto the floor. To stop me making more of a mess than the one I already made of myself, I ran to the sink and dumped the handful of blood into it.
Red and black was all I saw. Red from my blood, and the blackness of everything else.
I pulled my nails from my skin where it already started coagulating and closing up. It probably wouldn't even leave a scar.
I looked at myself for the first time in the mirror. My eyes, usually sparkling with life, were dead as the thing barely beating inside my chest.
I was nothing.
A wave of empty blackness fell over me, and I almost sank to the floor again, dry-heaving.
No.
I needed alcohol.
Wiping my eyes and stumbling out of the bathroom at the same time, I found the guy I was looking for – the guy who was pouring the liquor.
"Hey, babe – "
"I need the strongest shit you got," I demanded.
His eyes were raised to his hairline. "Y-You sure, sweets? Body of your size can't hold a lot – "
"Oh, I can hold plenty, trust me," I said bluntly. The tone of my voice said he shouldn't mess with me now.
Quickly, he ducked underneath the table and pulled up a full bottle of Grey Goose. Perfect. I grabbed a ten out of my bra and shoved it in his hand. "Thanks," I said, already twisting the cap and sucking straight off the bottle.
I took two long gulps, feeling the delicious burn seep down to my stomach, warming my cold, empty body. It didn't last long, but it was something.
But like always, it left that hollow feeling chasing straight after it.
Fire and ice, fire and ice. You know, just like the poem?
Except I was positive that ice was the more destructive one. I was sure of it.
Another swing.
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice...
Well, my fire was gone.
I stumbled into the kitchen, already halfway done with my bottle. Just a couple more swings –
"At the rate you're going, you're going to be blacked out by the end of the night."
He finished my thought. I idely turned my head in the voice of the direction, not really caring. It was a guy I had already catalogued in my search for Se – that disgusting excuse for a man – because of how tall and muscular he was.
He was tall and pale with thick dark hair and pale green eyes, the kind of eyes that with one look, you instantly wanted to know more. He was wearing all black with a black leather jacket, and he simply oozed the kind of person Se – guy I despise – would immediately not like.
That made this stranger that much sweeter.
"Jesse," he said, extending his hand. I shook it, still not caring enough to return my name.
Another swing. More fire.
"What's your name?" he asked. When I didn't answer him, he gently pulled the bottle away from my hands. I could have stopped him, but somehow, I just didn't want to. I didn't want to fight for anything. My hands fell uselessly to my sides.
I almost said Sera, but that brought about a fresh new wave of blackness. That mutt gave me that name. "Seraphina," I whispered, eyeing the tequila on the counter. Would it be beyond me to take a swing from that thing too?
"Seraphina," he said thoughtfully, taking his own swing off the vodka bottle. When he saw me staring at it enviously, he chuckled and handed it back. "Nice name," he said, still staring at me.
Still didn't care. Another long chug.
"It's a bit of a mouthful though," he said, sliding closer, his voice dropping lower and huskier, "You seem complex. Maybe you can dumb it down."
"What did you have in mind?"
A long, slow smile spread across his face. "We can go find out," he suggested.
I looked up into his pale, green eyes. I wasn't stupid. I knew what guys like him wanted, and it probably wouldn't end well. I saw that same hungry glint in his eyes – the same glint I saw previously before on that girl, moving in towards Seth.
Heartlessly, I boldly slid my hand around his neck, and pulled him down closer to me. "I'd like that," I whispered.
I'd like that a lot.
I felt his hands wrap around my waist and him roughly bring my body closer to him. I felt his lips crash down onto mine.
Some part of my brain registered that this was my first kiss, but I was so beyond caring.
My mind shut down, and I finally found the escape I was looking for. My body acted on its own accord, pressing myself completely against him, giving myself over to him completely. This stranger named Jesse.
His hands roughly grabbed at my butt, grinding me against his hard-on. I thought about pulling back, but as I began doing so, normal thought came back into my mind. I began remembeing faces –
I pushed Jesse roughly against the wall, pinning him there, kissing him frantically. He responded only too eagerly, flipping positions so that I was pinned, his hand grabbing at my breast, slipping inside my bra quickly.
I moaned. This was good. No thinking involved.
He sucked on my neck, kissing his way down to the valley between my breasts. He was licking, sucking, biting – and I only too freely allowed it. "Nia," he said matter-of-factedly, lifting me off the ground so I was being carried, pinned to the wall. I smiled. I liked the sound of Nia. But if it meant him not stopping, I would have been his ex-girlfriend for all I cared. "Okay, I'm Nia," I groaned, feeling my hands tangle in his hair.
"Fuck, you're hot," he moaned, nipping my ear.
"So are you," I whispered back. I actually didn't know if Jesse was hot or not. I didn't see his face, It just sounded like the proper thing to say. What you should say.
I was a machine. I had died already.
He smiled and stopped kissing me, setting me down on my feet. I felt my face slip into a frown, only waiting for the images to come back. "Wanna go somewhere, Nia?" he inquired, kissing a line on my jaw. I felt nothing.
"Sure," I said, only trying to keep my teeth away from his jugular.
Grabbing my hand, he quickly led me through the party, moving across a lot quicker than I could have. We were outside in no time.
His car was a black SUV in one of the back rows. He pressed me against it and kissed me again roughly. Too bad I didn't care.
He unlocked his door and ushered me inside. I plopped onto my back, leaving myself totally exposed.
Did he see that I was bleeding? A torn-up, mangled mess? Of course not. He saw a piece of flesh laying down in the backseat of his car.
Jesse went straight for my breast, but this time, he began pulling down my dress at the same time. I was left in nothing but my bra and panties, and those fuck-me heels.
He stared down at my body. "Wow," he said, appreciateing the view. I fought the urge to claw his face for some reason, but instead, I smiled. "Do what you want."
Do what you want, Jesse. Make me a machine. Make me forget.
He unclasped my bra, revealing my exposed breasts. On any other day, I would have been embarrassed, but at this point, I could have walked through Times Square naked and still not have given two fucks.
His mouth went immediately to my breast and began sucking and biting again. I tipped my head back and moaned at the sensation. "Yeah," I groaned.
His finger hooked my panties and pulled them down. That should have been the first indicator to stop. No, actually, when he started removing my dress, that should have been the first indicator. But instead, my body tightened in anticipation.
"I want you," Jesse whispered against my mouth, grinidng against me with his hard-on. I shrugged nonchalantly.
"Take me then," I said, but more as a dare. I was taunting him.
He smiled again, his eyes full of lust and greed. He reached for something in the front seat – a condom. "You're not a virgin, right?"
Who cared anyways. "I am."
His eyebrows raised. "Really?"
I was getting sick of his talking. Dangerous thinking was coming back. "Yep. Just do it, Jesse."
Slowly, he began taking off his clothes, revealing what would have been a nice body on another day, but to me, he was nothing more than flesh and bones. "You sure?"
I growled in annoyance. I couldn't help it. Feverently, Jesse began attacking my lips again. "That was hot," he said. I felt his hand move down his dick, sliding on the condom.
I waited. He angled his penis at my entrance, looking into my eyes. "You positive?" he asked.
"Yessssss," I hissed.
With a sadistic smile of sorts, he plunged into me.
Well...it hurt.
I bit down on my lip, trying to not scream out in pain. But still...I welcomed it. It was better than the alternative.
He began moving.
Now, you wonder why I had been such a good girl my whole life, in love with that dog, and then on one night, in one random meeting with a boy I had barely known ten minutes, I lose my virginity. You want an answer.
I had none. It didn't matter to me anymore. Nothing felt sacred to me.
Everything was too black.
He began plunging in faster and faster, pinning my hands above my head, his eyes rolling back into his head. I began to scream out in pleasure, for the fire – sweet, lovely fire – that was building in my stomach. It was warming me. It was making me into something discernable. Something recognizable.
The fire burned.
But it was gone too qucikly.
"Oh – oh god, Jesse, yes – " I screamed, feeling the fire turn into an explosion.
Waves of it hit me, one by one, as I screamed out and hissed and groaned and growled. He hit his explosion himself, pounding into me.
And then it was over, and I was left with nothing.
Oh well. It was to be expected, I guess.
He plopped down beside me, breathing heavily. "Fuck, Nia. You are...that was..."
"Take me home," I said suddenly, sitting up. I felt sick.
He seemed unphased. "'Kay," he said, pulling his pants on. I slipped on my dress without that goddamn "power lingerie" or whatever.
Jesse watched me as I climbed into the front seat. "That was awesome," he said offhandedly, igniting the ignition. I wouldn't use "awesome" to describe it. More like "it would do."
We drove home in silence. I didn't care much for that meaningless chatter. Jesse was nothing to me. "Where to?" he asked finally, getting off at the exit I told him to go off of.
I had a small guilt that going home would do no good. With eight vampires in the house, they would smell Jesse and my arousal and know what I'd done. I made a spur of the moment decision. "Go right here," I told him, turning into the long driveway belonging to Jake and Nessie.
He finally pulled up to their modest house. "This it?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said, already climbing out of the car. His hand on my shoulder stopped me, and I had to fight the disgust off my face.
"Nia, let's hang out. There's something...endearing about you. There's something there that intrigues me."
You're wrong, Jesse. There's nothing in me.
"Oh yeah?" I said flirtatiously, although I borderline hated this kid.
He smiled greedily. "We can...hang out."
So he wanted to use me for sex. Surprisingly, that made me hate him less. Good thing we were on equal terms. I wanted nothing more than to feel that warmth again in my used up, useless body. I didn't care if I meant next to nothing to him – he meant even less to me. "Okay," I found myself saying.
He grinned. "Great. Tomorrow?" he asked.
"Yeah. I'll see you at noon tomorrow. Don't come down this driveway; park in the woods down the way," I instructed. I figured he could figure it out.
"Good," he said, leaning across to kiss me. I kissed him back, sending my thoughts running away, which was exactly what I wanted, and exactly why I was agreeing to this monstrosity.
Pulling back, I hopped out of the car. I stood there, not quite feeling anything, watching him drive away. My one chance for survival.
And then the train wreck hit, sending me plummeting to the ground.
Better than nothing at all.
A/N: This is ridiculously long and overly-lemony and dramatic and...blah.
Don't hate me for making Sera – aka Nia now – miserable.
If you've ever been heartbroken, you know it feels something along those lines.
I covered a lot of info in one chapter. Yeah, she had a borderline vision. Don't forget it. They're both in love, Ser'a heartbroken, and Sera loses her virginity. To a stranger, of all people.
Sorry if you guys wanted it to be Seth. I had planned this out in my head for awhile though, and Jesse had always been there as that one guy to cause hell.
Okay, I'm going to stop now. This chapter is going onto 15,000 words. O.O
Review. Subscribe.
Be happier than Seraphina.
-Chels.