Harry unlocked the French doors leading to the garden and stepped out into the midnight air. Filling his lungs with clean, fresh, cold air he closed his eyes and lifted his head to the sky.

'It's still there' he mused smiling to himself 'it hasn't fallen'. Harry breathed the heavy scent of fresh open soil tinged with pears and apples. His mother had been tending her immaculate garden before she was diagnosed. In a few months the trees dotted around the garden would be heavy with fruit. New life. A new cycle of existence. Harry's eyes fluttered open and he stared at the crystal clear sky. The downpour of rain had cleared it and left it cloudless and shining. Harry felt like he could run a marathon. Pure adrenaline still pumped around his body leaving it tingling as he savoured the memories which had only been created moments before. He sensed her before he heard her and turned to find she had retrieved her dressing gown from one of the bags which had been abandoned in the living room. Her hair was curling naturally as it dried, framing her face. She was holding something in her palm. A cold, sick feeling twisted Harry's gut as he realised what she was holding. The lies instantly began formulating in his brain but he knew she would know and his expression would betray him. She knew him too well. She knew when he was lying. The way his mouth constricted and his eyes darkened. He lifted his head and closed the door, he was cold again. Meeting Nikki's eyes he let out a slow deep breath.

"Nikki-"

"Don't. Don't say anything Harry please. Please don't speak. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't realise it was that bad. I'm supposed…we are supposed to be best mates….". She was crying now. Harry tugged her hard against his bare chest.

"Hey…hey hey hey….listen….its just a little alprazolam Nikki. I'm not on heroin or anything. Yes things have been…..difficult recently. Any GP would have prescribed it for me….it's not a big deal".

Her tears wet his chest, her breathing coming in slow sobs "Oh Harry it is a big deal. Why didn't you speak to me…or Leo even..".

Harry pushed her away gently and gripped her shoulders. Lifting her chin with one hand he brushed her hair off her face.

"I couldn't Nikki I just couldn't. The way I've been feeling has largely been to do with how I was trying to make sense of my feelings for you. I couldn't confide in Leo I just couldn't'. It wouldn't have been fair on him to put him in the middle….I'm pretty sure he knows full well how I feel about you but he has never ever broached the subject with me. He doesn't want to get involved. I know we've never talked about it but what happened over there almost destroyed me. I should never have been there Nikki. I should have been here with you. Instead I was off as usual chasing my…" he stopped. His blood was rising and his fists were clenching again.

"I've been a bloody idiot all these years. I can actually pin point the moment I let it all go wrong with you. I made a decision not to pursue you…..after we kissed in the pub that time. I cared about you too much. You always deserved so much better than me..then…then I had to see you with these….bloody…it drove me crazy Nikki. Absolutely crazy. After Penny I believed you would never look at me the same again. That I was…..unsuitable. Then in Budapest when I saw you at the memorial…."…Harry's anger melted into sadness as he recalled her face. Her tears. Guilt and pain bore into his chest. Jesus he was very good at making her cry.

Nikki's eyes never left his as the tears streamed down her face.

"Harry!" she said urgently, pressing her forehead against his "how can all of this have gone unspoken for so so long! What is wrong with us?".

"Well I'm on medication. Cant say what it is with you".

She punched him lightly in the ribs "Harry!. That is precisely what's been wrong! You persist in joking and teasing at every opportunity to the detriment of anything….real".

"I'm sorry" he said "you're right….god I hate saying that…it just catches in my throat" Harry removed his hand from hers for effect and grabbed his neck "right here". Nikki scowled at him and he raised his hands in mock surrender.

"Ok ok no more jokes. See I bloody knew something monstrous could befall the world if we slept together. I've just been outside and the sky is still there. There are no masses of red frogs on the ground but….I am no longer allowed make jokes. No more jokes from now on so Nicola…in exchange for copious amounts of ravenous sex".

"Hmmm we'll see how long you could hold to that".

"Well I went many many long years without ravenous sex from you so…"

"Yes but you've taken me to bed now so maybe…"

"Jesus…I haven't you know. I haven't taken you to bed yet. I never in a million years would have said that the first time we made love would have been the shower in my mum's house!".

Nikki giggled "Where was your money then Dr. Cunningham?"

"Well it's obvious isn't it? The source of all contention through the years….my desk…I always imagined you'd be sitting there one day…as usual…..chewing on a pen while wearing a lab coat and suspenders….id come in…wearing a cowboy hat for some unknown reason. We'd spar over the desk of course. I would seize your wrists and you would struggle. Then overcome with the lust the proximity to me has awakened in you, you throw me down and have your way with me".

Nikki threw her head forward towards him and laughed that deep throaty laugh that warmed his stomach and radiated throughout his entire body.

"So you've been fantasising about me in the lab Dr. Cunningham! So very unprofessional".

"Oh come on like you never fantasised about me?. And you were deliberately provoking me…wearing those bloody sexy tops and heels".

"isn't that the defence most rapists use?" she retorted

"you know I used to pretend to need your opinion on slides under the microscope just so you'd lean over when you were wearing the low cut ones" he said in a low tone and pulled her towards him roughly.

"Harry!" she cried in mock horror but something betrayed her on her face.

"You bloody knew! You minx! I knew you knew!…you did wear them on purpose!".

Nikki giggled "imagine…and all the while we were meant to be engaged in serious scientific analysis"

Harry's hands slipped inside the dressing gown.

"Hmmm…..I'd like to conduct a few more experiments with you if that's alright….like why is it that you make a very pleasing sound when I do this?" Harry's thumbs grazed her nipples and she moaned obligingly.

"God I should have shagged another pathologist long before this" Harry murmured into her neck "for the intensive knowledge of the anatomy we pocess".

"Like who?" Nikki questioned and lifted his head in her hands so he could look her into eyes. They were so close they could feel the vibrations of speech on the others lips".

Harry narrowed his eyes…"hmmmm…Leo I suppose".

"Leo? Harry? Have you also been crushing on our esteemed leader?".

"Well he is the third most attractive pathologist in the greater London area. After me and you of course".

"Who come's first?" Nikki prompted

"Me of course" Harry smiled

"Well I know that" Nikki teased and the great ultimate batchelor and womaniser Harry Cunningham blushed.