Note: This chapter took me a little longer, sorry about that. Thank you for reading. As usual comments are appreciated, but if you are not reading the fic, there's no point to write hate comments about the characters. Not cool.

Chapter 4

Dreaming comes easily

After receiving the note from House, she tried to stabilize her nerves. One drink was not enough to erase the shock from Cuddy's face. A few drinks later her new handsome friend was staring at very drunk Lisa Cuddy. He was studying her features. She was talking and talking about people and situation that he had no idea about.

"You probably think that I'm crazy".

Here she was talking about her ex boyfriend to her new.. Oh well why not! He was so damn hot. During her 5th drink she thought that calling him her new boyfriend was OK. Except, the man probably was afraid that she may do something stupid and was just here to be sure that he won't be charged with a sentence if she jumps in the sea and die, because she was not capable to move herself not to mention swimming. She found herself in a very difficult situation - ashamed and blushed. All he did was smile!

"You Are very talkative Dr. Cuddy. When was the last time you had some fun without drowning yourself in sorrow? I have to admit that I feel a bit guilty because I stopped listening you after your 2nd drink"- He said.

"I'm so sorry ... I'm not usually .. that.." She couldn't finish the sentence when he said back "Stressed?" He smiled again.

"I was going to say out of my mind" Oh my Gawd he was .. he looked so so amazing in her blurry vision.

Even the weather forecast did not predict the storm that was forming this night. Cuddy was perfectly fine with it - it was a pure expression of her mood. What was the name of the handsome guy in front of her? Yes, right Jack! So which was the polite and the least humiliating way to tell him that she can't move inside the hotel because she was going to hit the sand before she can realize it. Her hair was all around her face and in front of her eyes, and at least she could blame the wind for half of the blurriness that she was experiencing. He was a thoughtful man. He used as an excuse the cold to somehow hold her in a hug to support her to her room. She was pressed by the door of her room.

"As gorgeous as you look right now, I will wait for your call when the weather inside of you clears a bit". He leaned a centimeter away from her and looked straight in her eyes, moving a lock of hair from her face. Cuddy stopped moving and stared back.

"So, are you going to call me Dr. Cuddy? I would like to get to know you better, even though it's proven that after a few drinks people are more honest than ever and I did learn a lot about you. I'm still convinced that there is more to learn". He gently touched her shoulder with the back of his hand and left her speechless when he simply walk away. She entered her room, thank god that a key was not involved, blessed to be the inventor of the swipe cards. She barely made it to the bed still wearing her swimsuit. A minute later she heard a knock on her door. Who ever was outside that door was not having a chance to make her get up from this bed - just because of the fact that she was not able to get to that damn door.

"Room service, may I come in, the door is open"

Cuddy opened her eyes "Oh, damn it!" She left the door open.

"I didn't order room service, but you can close the door from the outside!"

"The gentleman that was with you on the beach asked us to bring your belongings Mrs Cuddy".

"Riiight, ohh" Cuddy completely forgot that she did not pick up her beach bag with her phone, iPad, wallet with credit cards and money.

"Please come in, and thank you very much".

The boy entered with her bag in one hand and a tray in the other. On the tray she saw a bottle of water, weird looking beverage and a plate with food, next to the bottle was a simple note. "I didn't order that."Cuddy said. The boy smiled and before his answer, she said " It was ordered by the same gentleman" A nod from the boy was all she needed to know. Cuddy thanked him and the boy left. She took the note and read it "Special beverage for a special lady - my own recipe - great cure for a hangover. Tell me if it's working, may consider to patent it and start selling it! Have to catch a flight early in the morning to Boston, but will be looking for that call" ~Jack

Her world was spinning around, or at least her bed. She reached the tray with that hangover cure. After the magic drink and half an hour with closed eyes she felt a bit refreshed, she had to admit that she felt better but still far away from sober. Cuddy smiled, he was cute and nice, but... he didn't have House's ass she thought. "House has a great ass! " She buried her face in the pillow. The sheets and the pillows smelled amazing - she could sense a floral motive. Her body felt cold but inside she was burning. It was the alcohol talking. Cuddy slipped under the white sheets - cotton satin fabric, it felt amazing.

The ceiling was not moving anymore. It took Cuddy only a few minutes to fall asleep after her body had warmed up. She woke up by a thunder. It was dark outside and it was raining. Cuddy checked the watch, her vision still blurry, but it turned out that she had been asleep only for an hour. Now she was in a bad mood. And only one to blame for it - Gregory House. She was doomed to see him everywhere- sometimes in newspapers, uninvited on her vacations, messing with her life and job, visiting her in her dreams.

Talking about dreams - the very last one from today made her shiver.

She was holding him tight, her hands around his waist, she was kissing and biting, and slowly licking his lips until they parted. Kissing him hard, marking his neck with her teeth. She was moving her hands up and down his back. Cuddy's dream was so vivid. One of her hands was in his hair and the other gently stroking his face while continuing to press her lips to his. And he was not responding. House was just standing. He was about to respond back when a door opened and Dominika walked inside, with a questioning look, showing her wedding ring to Cuddy with the words "I thought you didn't want him anymore, he is a married man. Married to me!"

When she woke up she felt drained. Cuddy pressed her palm to her forehead, with the other hand holding the sheets tight. She was about to puke.

She felt so miserable. Cuddy decided that he is the only one that has to take the responsibility for her misery and no one alse deserves to take the anger instead of him. Only Gregory House himself. She got up, found her beach bag on the floor next to the small table in the room and start hunting for her cell phone. Cuddy dialed his number, her hand shaking. Her rage at that moment had no limits.

Her heart was beating fast, she felt more nauseous with every second. But she needed to deal with this.

The phone was ringing, no one was picking up. Cuddy was holding tight her phone to her ear. She was about to hang up when she heard his voice.

"Hello"

Cuddy was about to burst in tears. She was about to use the last strength left. So many feelings were left unspoken, so many fears, pain, agony was gathered inside of her, and now was the moments to stand against her biggest fear – a conversation with him.

"What do you want from me House? What are you doing here, why are you following me. Or it was not enough the damage that you caused. Why did you do it House" – Cuddy burst out in anger.

"You've ruined my home. If you ever loved me, you would have let me move on. Is that what I deserve House. For all the years I've been next to you, supporting you and putting up with all the crap?" She was nearly screaming. "You are my biggest disappointment House. How many times I've risked my job for you, how many times House, answer to me! Do you know how much it hurts to know that the person you love does not care about your happiness. I've wanted to move on because you took me for granted. For you our relationship was doomed but again for you it was My Fault? When you told me "It's not your fault" did you believe the words you had said?

Do you know how many nights I've spent crying, because the only way for you to deal with your troubles and feelings is to destroy people's happiness. In this case – you've destroyed Me House. "

House was not able to say a single word. Tears were streaming down on Cuddy's face. He could hear her sobbing.

"I've trusted you House. I've worked hard to be in the position I was. And you know that. It took me years to build I place I could call a home. Did you ask yourself that Rachel could have been in the room when you crashed into my home with your car. My kid means the world to me House and you know it. Answer to me! Cuddy's voice was so loud that she probably woke up half of the floor in her hotel. "

"Do you know what a mass media means House?" This time she was waiting for an answer.

"Well, let me see, all those media technologies that are intended to reach a large audience by mass communication. Am I near?" – He said.

"So smart aren't you – Mr. Wikipedia. Do you know what's going to happen if someone understands that you are behind that case. Do you realize that this case and my name were spread all over the local news. The case does not need to be a global event to lead me to my dismissal. Even worse – no one will hire me anymore. Unlike you, I have a kid that needs care. You do know that I work for living right? When you log into my computer you endanger my entire career. And if people congratulate me now – is just because you've got lucky! And don't pretend that you care. Don't tell me you did it because you love me! Just don't, because I'll not believe you."

"Cuddy, I…"

"Don't House". Cuddy was crying and she couldn't stop herself.

"I loved you and I will always love you, but you know that, no matter what you said".

Cuddy started to laugh. "You love me! Do you? Really? How many hookers you've been with House, after we broke up? You agree to marry a complete stranger, but you've never considered a serious relationship with me. You've Never considered marrying me. You've never wanted to part with your old habits, so we never actually lived together. You can build a home with a stranger, but you can't do it with me? – Cuddy screamed.

"You know that it is because she needs a green card and how this is related to us?"

"You are living with her House!"

"How do you even know that?"

"Does it matter for God's sake" Cuddy said frustrated.

"Stay away from me House. I'm better without you. I deserve someone better! I deserve someone who will not replace me with the first woman on the street, someone that cares as much about me, as he does for himself. And do not send me notes – because I know you are making excuses. The boy is fine – from the hospital assured me that everything is OK, so stay as far away as you can from me." Cuddy lied. She had no idea if the boy was ok or not.

House was silent. "They've missed something, I'm missing something, tell them to check again, I'm sure that …" Until he was able to finish Cuddy said with a tired voice.

"Forget it House! It's over now. Stay away from my life" Cuddy burst in tears and hung up the phone.

Seconds later she ran to the bathroom and puked. She was lying on the cold floor unable to think or move.

House was staring through the window.

He did love her. It wasn't a lie. It just wasn't right. They did not belong to each other anymore. Someday he just kept pretending, that she will stay, he was dreaming of a different ending. He wanted to hold on, but it hurt so bad, he couldn't keep something that he never had – a real chance for a normal life.

…

On the next day

Cuddy woke up. The sun was shining, the sky was clear. The bright light was too much for her eyes. No signs were left from the storm of the previous night. But events from the last couple of months were all visible on her face. She looked herself in the mirror. As usual, nothing was going on the way she had planned. Cuddy opened the door leading to the terrace of her room – fresh air came in. Quiet chill-out music was reaching from the beach bar. The view in front of her was beautiful. She could see boats far away in the sea. Cuddy called her mother to check on Rachel. She ordered fresh fruits, French croissants and a cold fresh beverage, huge cup of coffee. She took a cold shower, brushed her teeth, she tied her hair into a knot. She picked a wide blouse from a soft material that was barely covering her bottom. Unfortunately she remembered everything from the previous night. Cuddy took her chance that House would not dare to contact her again and decided to stay. She had only 3 more days. Her problem was not the location. No matter where she was – the problems were right behind her. The terrace was not directly exposed to sunlight and Cuddy found the fresh breeze from the shore refreshing and a good start to cure her hangover and headache, she searched for her book in the suitcase, took her sunglasses – she was going to spend the day in her room, without showing around. All chances to be seen like that needed to be eliminated. Her eyes were red and swollen. The most interesting was - she felt that a burden had fallen from her shoulder. She told him everything she needed to say. Almost everything. Everything was so bloody complicated around her. The entire day she spent analyzing the consequences of their relationship. Was it worth it.

Soon the terrace was lighted up by the sun. Cuddy took her lotion for sun protection. The heat was not that fierce, in fact the way she was lying on the bench, covered with pillows next to the small coffee table, Cuddy appreciated how the sun was warming her skin. She needed the use all positive sides of her stay at the resort to recover from what happened.

From where she was standing she could see the palm trees move with the breeze. She was thinking about how they ended like this – it was a way more dramatic and hurtful from her first expectations. They were together almost a year. They both had their fears that they will end up both hurt. They were right. But it was not that bad all the time. He was smart and funny, it was always interesting being around him, not that she ever admitted that to him. He always had a different point of view. House was not that type of a boyfriend that your family and friends like. But he was a real man – he refused to be a hypocrite and lie that he like her relatives, he was smart enough to know that there was no chance that a meeting with her friends would end up different than a night with a lot of awkward situations and conversations, that will lead to Cuddy being embarrassed. He was well aware that she was a social person – interested in having friends and at some point he appreciated that she preferred to spend her time with him and not seeing her friends. They didn't talk a lot. At the very beginning they didn't need to. When they were together nothing else mattered. They never had a real fight, because they didn't talk a lot. Their physical attraction was enough was that intense that they spent every minute alone in bed. House was making her feel more alive. It was a love that was burning. Their passion was mutual. The bed was the only place that House has never been a selfish man. He did know how to satisfy all her needs. Not that she needed much when she was with him. Just the fact that he is naked and on top of her was making her horny. She was never shy with him, they were both open because they loved each other and felt safe in each others company. The sex was amazing, the man knew what he was doing. Before House she didn't even know what a jealousy means. Cuddy knew that all the hookers he was using meant nothing for him, they were not together but her world was turning upside down every time when she was imagining him with another woman. Her mind slipped away to that conversation in the hair saloon. Cuddy was almost sure that the main characters in that story was House and his new "wife". Was he gentle in bed with her like he was with Cuddy, was he giving or he was just using her body. The thought that he is touching another woman was making her burn inside. Once Cuddy was thinking that a House is a one woman man. But was he? The idea of him coming with her name on his mouth brought a smile on her face. She knew that she would be always in his mind. The bad thing was that so far he was taking a big part in her thoughts as well. That was not a good sign.

[H] [H] [H] [H] [H] [H] [H] [H] [H] [H]

House's was sitting on the porch of the small villa he had rented and was thinking why was he still here.

After his phone conversation with Cuddy, not that it was a conversation, as a matter of fact it was more a monologue, House was caught in a net of dark thoughts and old memories – some of them bad, some of them made his heart linger. It was in the middle of the night and the chances to find a liquid store were slim. He had been in this dark place many times. This black hole was his home for a long time. It took him hours to fall asleep, but even in his dreams he couldn't find peace. Pieces and conversations. She was everywhere – her voice, her face. Her words and after that his words, moments from their time together. Strange circumstances and moments.

"Why do you need to negate everything" "I'm always here" "Why do you care if I'm happy?" "You monitor my periods?" "You came all the way up just to tell me that?" "Someone you like" "Someone like you?" "Do you like me House" "Do you want a relationship" "I always want to kiss you" "I need you" "I'm ovulating let's go" "If there's anyone I would trust with my baby, it's Docto House" "I love you. I wish I didn't. But I can't help it."

House woke up covered in sweat.

[H][H][H][H][H][H][H][H][H][H][H]

Another day was on its way. It was almost 7pm, Cuddy was feeling better. No bad news, no presence from House. No signs of him so far. He probably left the resort – she thought. Cuddy was dressed in a long beach pink skirt, which was frivolously blown by the light wind. She was not wearing a bra under her white, a bit wide shirt. She was not wearing any shoes. The sand under her feat was not hot anymore.

She started walking down the shoreline. The soft and almost unnoticeable breeze, the noise of the waves, were starting to chase away the heavy clouds in her mind. There was a joy in this place and she intended to take her share or at least that was her first idea, but again goals mean nothing without action and apparently her actions regarding crossing out her past, were not enough and that was an obstacle.

She was passing by four small villas, situated on the beach. From one of them she could hear a music "Jamie Cullum - It Ain't Necessarily So". A not so typical choice she thought.

When she reached the villa from where the music was coming a familiar voice came from above her:

"Why, Doctor Cuddy, I thought I would find you here. Hiding from the fame someone else gained for you…" - the fake cheery note in his voice was the perfect hit – right in the middle of her emotions.

He was standing there, his face serious despite the joy in his voice. But she felt the poison in them. Her heart made a leap, trying to decide whether to start beating again or just take the safe mode and stop forever. Struggling to take her next breath and find a response to his words her hands started to shake.

"House…"- there was pretty much everything in the way his name was pronounced. Surprise, fear, contempt and maybe some hidden interest or maybe… But she didn't want to think of it now.

"Cuddy!"

"You are still here"

"Not for a long time, relax. My flight was canceled so I was stuck here. Horrible place. Sunny and hot. Full with happy people. And I'm receiving some not so nice phone calls in the middle of the night."

He saw the fear in her eyes. She was looking at him without reacting.

"For God's sake Cuddy, calm down, from here I can hear your raised heart beat, muffles my music. Would you like a drink? Your phone call inspired my old boyhood dream to become a barman, mixed few cocktails of my own already. Ah, right, you probably got too many drinks the other night, but I'm glad to see that you are OK. Where's that handsome new boyfriend of yours, he obviously can't control you. Show him who is the boss." He paused for a while "I'm just making a small talk – the polite way is to respond".

"Small talk then! Right! Where is that handsome young wife of yours." She snapped before realizing what she is saying.

"Do I detect jealousy Dr. Cuddy!" He made a funny face.

She put her palms on her face, shaking her head .

"You are unbelievable. In any other case I would prefer keeping the small talk, but that involves 2 adults, grown, mature, who value the feelings of each other. "

The song ended. The only noise now was the one from the sea. The sun was slowly going down. The sky was painted in pink.

They were staring at each other's eyes. No one around them. House was propped up on the white fence of the few stairs that was leading inside the villa. He dropped his eyes on the sand.

"I'm sorry." He said.

Cuddy's eyes were slowly filling with tears.

"For what exactly – the list is long. Can't remember if you did something good to me actually."

"Heeey, I've saved your mother!" He said quickly.

"That's optional – can be considered as a negative thing sometimes"

They both laugh at the same time.

"Yeah, bummer. I'm sorry for everything, even for saving your mother."

"And for the record I was not lying to you about the boy."

"I know. I am not trying to excuse myself. I want то make things right. Because I know I made a mistake and it's not too late yet. At least for this"

"How? How you can fix this? There is nothing to fix!"

"Cuddy when I know something, I just know! You know me - how many times I have been I feel something is wrong."

"Too many to count."

"Ok, you are right. But it bothers me. At least check it , ok? Please."

He was humble. That scared her. He was almost never humble. Unless he was afraid and speak the truth.

"Just pick up the phone and ask them. If everything is fine I will leave you . Can you trust me one last time?"

She found herself wondering. She was not ready to forgive him, not now. But could she trust him one more time? One last time? She stared at him for a long moment. His familiar face, his eyes, the wrinkles over his brows, his mouth, the lines she was remembering by heart. The face she knew for as long as she remembered. She suddenly remembered else - why exactly she gave him her heart. There were a despair and darkness in her. Because she realized that this will always be the only person she would love. No matter what. She closed her eyes tight and bite her lips. She needed to make a decision. If he was right, what was she going to do.

She searched for her cell and made the call. The response had been made and it took him seconds to read on her face the answer.

To Be Continued..