Chell hadn't driven in a long time, and the truck was a little sputtery, but roaring down the road at a hundred miles an hour still made her feel light and free. Karen didn't know how to drive, and despite her protestations that she was totally capable of figuring out how to operate such a simple piece of machinery Chell had vetoed the attempt. But Chell didn't mind doing all the driving. As the trees whipped past it was easy to forget why the roads were so deserted and just enjoy the changing landscape and the optimistic feeling that they were finally going somewhere.
This optimism took a bit of a dive once they started hitting the bigger towns.
They were all just as empty and overgrown as Dakota. Worse, there were more obvious signs of fighting, and while wild animals had done away with any dead bodies on the road it was still clear that not everyone had left willingly, or alive. They also found signs of the alien invaders, weird organic looking armour parts and warning beacons still blaring out information in incomprehensible creaks and whistles.
They stopped for lunch in Ashland, eating cold meat and apples by the shore of the seemingly infinite expanse of Lake Superior before they finally started heading inland towards Minneapolis. Looking out away from the city it was easy to forget again what had happened here. The air felt crisp and fresh.
After she'd finished eating Chell watched the birds on the water for a while, then turned to Karen. "Are you alright?" she asked. "I'm usually the quiet one, but you haven't said a word all morning. I know you said you don't want to talk about what happened yesterday afternoon, but..."
"It's not about that," said Karen. "Though that does make this more difficult. I've been trying to put something into words."
"Well spit it out," said Chell.
Karen stared at her feet for a while. "You know how I asked you how you'd feel if Minneapolis was a smoking hole in the ground?"
"Yes...?"
"Well, uh...how would you feel if I told you that it really is. A literal hole. In the ground. And that I know that for certain."
Chell frowned. "I'd ask you how you know that and how long you've known."
"...since it happened. Twenty years ago."
"What the hell, Karen?" Chell stood up angrily.
"The aliens blew it up as part of the initial attack," said Karen. "At first...at first it didn't seem relevant, and I didn't want to upset you. Then you were so excited about going there. And until we got the truck it was going to take weeks and weeks, and I was hoping you'd get discouraged before it became an issue. I did try to discourage you."
"That's...not...ok, yes, it's upsetting." It was upsetting. Poor Minneapolis. "But...you have to tell me these things!"
"I have told you," said Karen.
"Argh!" Chell slapped her forehead. "Ok, fine. Before we waste any more time, are there any cities that aren't smoking craters? Maybe ones nearby?"
"Well I suppose there's Duluth," said Karen, without much enthusiasm.
"Duluth? Duluth is closer than Minneapolis!" said Chell. "Why didn't you try to persuade me to go there instead of just being vaguely negative about Minneapolis?"
"Because I didn't want you going there either," said Karen.
"Why not?" said Chell. "Is it a radioactive wasteland? Are there zombies?"
"Worse," said Karen. "It's full of people."
If there was one thing that drove Karen absolutely crazy, it was the silent treatment. So Chell didn't talk to her all the way back the truck, and stayed silent as they drove out of Ashland, though she did take a moment to glare at her as she took the exit leading east instead of the one leading south. By the time they started to see ambiguous signs of civilisation, Karen had started to crack.
"Look, I'm sorry," she said, as they drove a past another field full of neatly tended crops. "I just didn't want to lose you. Really, it's flattering. See how much I care about you? You're so wonderful I don't want to share!"
Chell stared doggedly at the road.
"But I realise I was wrong now. Relationships are about trust and honesty and not trying to kill each other. At least we got the hang of that last part! Not everyone even manages that! And I'm sure if we work together, we can get past this and..."
"Holy shit," said Chell.
"Really, Chell, I know you're angry, but there's no need for such language."
"Look," said Chell, pointing. "There's a man in that field!"
She'd nearly missed him. His shock of unruly white hair was neatly camouflaged amongst the fluffy heads of corn. The man had to be at least 60, but was energetically walking along the small field gathering ears of corn into some sort of a wheeled contraption. He was wearing faded overalls and a blue flannel shirt and looked like he could have been a farmer from any era of history since the 1930s. The field was attached to a big old farmhouse with a pig pen and a chicken coop which could also have been from almost any era were it not for the large collection of solar panels and various complicated looking satellite dishes and antennae covering the roof.
"Keep driving," said Karen. "It could be a trap." Chell rolled her eyes and pulled over the truck.
"Hi!" shouted Chell, waving.
The man took a moment to figure out where the noise was coming from and then waved enthusiastically back. "Come on in!" he shouted.
"I'll just stay by the truck," said Karen as Chell started walking to meet him.
There was a a tall fence around the farm with a complex looking lock on the gate, but giving it a gentle push revealed it to be unlocked. Chell surreptitiously knocked a weird looking garden gnome into the gap to make sure she didn't get locked in accidentally.
By the time she'd gotten halfway through the herb garden at the front of the property Karen had caught up to her. "Don't come running to me for sympathy if he kills us both," she said.
Chell ignored her and smiled at the man, who had crossed the field to meet them.
"Hi," she began. "We're hoping to go to Duluth, and were wondering..."
"Oh my God," he said, staring at them. "Karen, it's you!"
Karen stared at the man in shock.
"You don't remember me? Jeff Anderson, from Aperture. Your desk was right by my office!"
Aperture thought Chell. Run. But they were stuck in the conversation now.
"Jeff, Jeff Anderson..." mused Karen, then her eyes widened. "Wait. Now I remember you. You're an AI tech. You helped transfer m...Caroline's consciousness to GlaDOS and made sure it didn't interfere with the primary functions."
"Right!" he said. "And...I mean I know it was a long time ago, but we went out for coffee a few times, remember?"
"Oh, yes, coffee," said Karen flatly. "How could I forget that."
"Wow, you haven't aged a day. It's funny, I remember your voice sounding different though..."
"So," said Chell, deciding this was a good time to take over the conversation. "Like I said, we were heading towards Duluth. Any advice for us before we get there? It's still there, right?"
"Last I checked!" laughed Jeff. "I don't go there much though. They're still on this whole human pride thing since the aliens left. Like us humans had anything to do with it, they just ran out of funding for the invasion. We're just lucky that portal didn't end up connecting to some really efficient alien empire with better funding." He turned to Karen with a smile. "Same old story right, remember when our section ran out of funding just as we were going to get that weapons contract with North Korea?"
Of course the alien invasion had something to do with portals, thought Chell. This was probably all Cave Johnson's fault, somehow, for all that the man had been dead for decades.
"Darn those bureaucrats and their red tape," said Karen. Her tone was becoming increasingly bright and brittle and there was a dangerous sparkle in her eye.
"Still, I guess it was lucky, meant I was on unpaid leave when GlaDOS had that glitch and killed everyone. Though if they'd given the AI section better funding, maybe we would have caught that bug, right?"
"You never know! Or maybe she'd have done a better job of killing everyone," said Karen, laughing. The sound sent a chill up Chell's spine.
"Glad you guys had a chance to catch up, but let's go," said Chell. She grabbed Karen's arm. "You know how we have that stuff we have to do in Duluth."
"Right," said Karen."The stuff. Can't forget the stuff. Bye Jeff, it was so nice to see you again. And there I was so sure you were dead!"
"Aw, no, you can't go now," said Jeff.
"Sorry!" said Chell.
"No, I mean seriously," said Jeff, pulling out a weird looking organic device that looked unpleasantly like a gun. "You can't go now."
Chell groaned in frustration. Of course he had a gun.
"Cute isn't it?" said Jeff, still smiling, training the gun on Chell, who he clearly saw as the more intimidating of the two. "The aliens gave it to me for helping them understand human psychology. Packs a powerful wallop, too. Hate to have to use it on either of you."
"I'm sure," said Chell.
"It's nothing personal," explained Jeff. "If I could, I'd let you two ladies drive off to Duluth and wish you all the best. But I lost a lot of my notes when Aperture fell, and then I got distracted by the whole alien invasion thing. It's only in the last year or so that I've been able to really get back to my research." He sounded aggrieved.
"You poor thing, that must have been so frustrating," said Karen.
"It was! But now I nearly have my brain scanner working better than ever. A few more prototypes and I should be able to upload myself to the internet. How awesome would that be? And hey, if you're lucky you'll be uploaded successfully before you die and get to be on the internet too!"
"Wow!" said Karen. "Scanned into a computer! Imagine that!"
"I'll pass," said Chell.
"But Jeff..." said Karen. "Do you really want to do this? To me? What about all those good times we shared? Did all that... coffee mean nothing to you?"
"Sorry Karen," he said, stepping forward and patting her gently on the hand. "I hate to do this, I really do. And if you were a scientist I would absolutely let you work on it with me. But, well, you're just an administrative assistant."
"Oh Jeff," said Karen. She held onto his hand and drew closer towards him.
"Ah, Karen," said Jeff, "I...gurklltl..." He looked down in surprise at the knife sticking out of his chest. A spurt of blood shot out and hit Karen. She grinned.
"Never underestimate administrative assistants," said Karen, twisting the knife and then pulling it out and wiping it on her shirt. While Jeff was distracted Chell grabbed Jeff's other hand to stop him shooting the gun, twisting his arm behind his back and then prying the gun from his fingers. He fell to his knees and stared at her sadly, gurgling.
"Um. Sorry about this," said Chell. "Nothing personal."
He winced, gurgled once more, and collapsed to the ground, dead.
"Oh wow, I really killed him," said Karen.
"I know, it was amazing!" said Chell. "I was beginning to think we might actually die. Maybe you were right about the concealed weapons thing after all." She stuck the gun in her waistband. There'd be time to figure out how to shoot it later.
"But I killed him. I've never killed anyone with my bare hands before! It was..." She stared at her hands, which were spattered with blood. "Really not the same. I don't think I'll do it again."
"Good to hear," said Chell. "That's not a habit you should get back into."
"And you're talking to me again!" Karen gave a happy open smile somewhat at odds with her gory appearance.
"...yeah I guess I am," said Chell, with a sigh. "Thanks for saving my life."
"Hey, yeah, I saved your life! We're totally even now!"
"Not quite," said Chell. "But it's a start."
Rifling through Jeff's pockets revealed a packet of tobacco ("Nasty habit," Karen sniffed, disapprovingly), some crudely shaped money stamped New Republic of Michigan and the keys to the house. Looting from someone she'd helped kill instead of long dead invasion victims made Chell feel a little uncomfortable, but they were hardly going to make friends in Duluth if they arrived covered in blood.
"Does it bother you, that I killed him?" asked Karen, as they walked into Jeff's hallway. The painted wooden walls were covered in various old movie posters, some for movies Chell had never heard of. Pride of place on the mantlepiece was reserved for a battered photo of a younger Jeff smiling with some other scientists at Aperture. Almost afraid to look, Chell searched for the faces of her father or the original Karen, but saw neither. Karen flicked her eyes over the photo too, then looked away. "I know you have a fairly strong anti-murder policy, most of the time."
"When I was eight you killed an entire room full of people in front of me," said Chell, "Including my parents and several of my friends. You then tried to kill me on several occasions. Killing some creepy old guy in self defence? I can live with."
"I always forget that you make an exception for self defence," said Karen, as if it was some eccentric foible.
The first door they opened led to the kitchen. There was what looked like fresh bread and butter on the table, and Chell's stomach rumbled, but the stink of Jeff's blood would probably take the fun out of eating. The second door opened onto what looked like a cross between a computer lab and a dissection chamber. They shut that door quickly and moved on.
"Speaking of how we met..." said Karen. "Did I ever tell you I thought it was really clever, the way your parents worked together to get you in the mail slot? If they hadn't you'd have died too."
"Yeah, I know," said Chell. "They were good people."
"I'm sorry I killed them," said Karen. "And the others."
"I know," said Chell, "but thanks for saying it."
The next door turned out to be a cupboard. Chell grabbed some shirts to replace their own.
"I'm not sorry I killed Jeff though. He was a jackass."
"Yes, yes he was," said Chell. She pushed open the next door onto a surprisingly futuristic looking bathroom, complete with shower. "A clean jackass, though. Sweet."
The bathroom was glorious: clean white tiles, shining taps, and running water. Chell would have been happy enough just with that, but Jeff's shower had so many buttons and knobs it took a moment to even figure out how to start it. She wondered if all mad scientists had showers like this. There were even different settings for cleaning off different things, including pig manure, paint, and blood.
Chell pulled off her jacket and starting untying the laces on her boots. She wasn't as gross looking as Karen, but some of Jeff's blood had gotten on her as well, and just in general she felt unpleasantly sticky after several days walking in the sun. "I'm not sure how much hot water he'll have," said Chell. "We should shower together."
Karen blushed. "Really, Chell, at a time like this?"
Chell smiled innocently, or as close to innocently as she could manage. "Hey, I'm just trying to get clean here," she said. "You're the one making it sordid."
"Fine," said Karen. Chell hadn't thought she'd take much persuading.
After a few false starts where they barely avoided scalding or freezing themselves they managed to get the shower working at a nice temperature. Chell had missed showers, washing in a lake or a bathtub you had to fill and heat yourself just wasn't the same.
And Karen looked great naked. Her pale skin was clear and smooth, and the water flowed seductively across her gentle curves. Chell overtly ran her eyes up Karen's body then looked into her eyes and grinned. "Can you pass the soap?"
"Here," said Karen, holding it out stiffly, her other arm crossed across her chest.
"Thanks," said Chell brightly. She thought about trying to clean herself ~seductively~, but that would probably involve not cleaning her underarms, and they really needed the wash. She was just going to have to rely on her natural attractiveness and Karen's barely repressed lesbian tendencies. It was about time her breasts did something useful beyond getting in the way of finding comfortable clothes that fit.
Chell finished rinsing what she hoped was shampoo out of her hair and looked over at Karen. She was facing the other way. Good thing Chell hadn't wasted energy trying to be sexy.
Chell sighed and stepped out of the shower onto the mesh covered floor of the bathroom. Just as she was realising that she was going to have to have to use one of Jeff's towels (eww) a jet of warm air shot from the ceiling and started drying her off.
"Hooray for Aperture ingenuity," she said. For an AI researcher Jeff had put a lot of effort into his bathroom, obviously the guy had really valued being clean. Not that Chell was complaining.
She happily stood in the hot air stream, slowly turning around to make sure she dried evenly.
Karen made a small inarticulate sound behind her. Chell turned again. Karen was standing stock still, staring at her with a slack jawed expression.
Chell felt herself flush. "Something you want?" she said.
"I...uh...I was admiring the design of the bathroom," said Karen, quickly looking up towards the ceiling. "Very efficient. I think he stole some of the technology from Aperture."
Chelled rolled her eyes and started to get dressed.
Just as Chell was retying her shoelaces, Karen said "I, uh...was thinking I might stay here, let you go on ahead. It's a nice house, and I know you'd rather I..."
"Dammit Karen!" said Chell. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and glared at her. "Why would I bring you all this way then leave you alone in some creepy farmhouse?" Karen looked back at Chell when she spoke, her eyes naturally trending downwards, then she pointedly looked away. "And why are you pretending not to be interested in me? We both know it isn't true!" Karen opened her mouth to reply and Chell held up a cautioning finger. "And don't say it's the age gap: sure in some ways you're like a hundred years older than me, but in others I'm like forty years older than you. And it's a bit late to start treating me like a child."
Karen glared at her for a moment before making another attempt to reply. "I"m trying to be a better person here and you're making it difficult," she said. She crossed her arms and looked away. "I'm doing you a favour, the least you can do is be grateful."
"Grateful?" said Chell. "For what, rejecting me?"
"For saving you from me!" said Karen. "I have come to...care about you. And that means I want you to be happy. More than I want you to be with me, and I want that...a great deal." She was still drying herself under the fan, the downward pressure of the air adding to her downtrodden expression. "You deserve better than me," she said. "I wanted to be selfish and keep you to myself, but you've helped me learn to be better than that. You're going to be meeting people soon, real people, not constructed...abominations like me. I don't want you to feel trapped, like you have to stay with me, when you could..."
Chell stepped towards her, the warm air making her hair dance. She put her hand on Karen's shoulder. "Karen," she said. Karen turned away, but Chell grabbed her with both hands and pulled her close.
"Karen," repeated Chell. "All this time, all the things you've done to me and you still haven't learned?" She leaned closer, her mouth by Karen's ear, speaking over the whine of the fan. "You can't keep me anywhere I don't want to be. I am stronger, faster, and smarter than you. I made you as much as you made me and you couldn't control me if you tried."
She gave Karen a brief kiss on the lips. Karen blinked at her. "But I..."
"Now hurry up and get dressed," said Chell. "I want to get to Duluth before nightfall."
And then she walked out the bathroom door towards the kitchen, knowing without looking that Karen would follow.