"Mamá! Where did you say I put my old glasses?"
Uhg, this is not what I needed right now. I could be in my room playing video games and kicking Puck's ass off but the contacts I've been wearing are annoying and I've been trying not to use them at home but I kept hitting against doors and even knocked down a lamp today while I was gathering food for our weekly bro-meeting with Puck. Saying he laughed at me for nearly 5 minutes would be an understatement, and the worst part is that I have a huge bruise covering part of my eye now and everything is because of his fault, who the hell does he think he is by breaking my glasses?. "Ass hole" – I mumble and start moving old boxes from the attic.
Apart from that, this past two weeks had been amazing; Britt and I are sort of in our "honeymoon stage" of the relationship, we keep sending cute messages to each other and I even had the balls to take her on an amazing second date at the amusement park where I totally won a huge stuffed duck for her. Tomorrow is Sunday and it'll be the first time the Pierces's and Lopez's will be together along with Puck's and Quinn's Family, we are having a barbeque at Brittany's house so we can all meet each other and Britt couldn't stop talking about it because she said that it could be a massive double-date between families. I'm pretty nervous because I've never actually seen her dad and I really need to make a good impression, she told me that he could be really intimidating sometimes so I don't really know what to expect. Actually, this is one of the reasons why I wanted so much to have this day with Puck, so I could relax and forget about what tomorrow would bring.
Anyway, school sucks as always but I love that I can be myself around Brittany and my new friends, and by that I mean Quinn (who totally has the sweets for Puck), Sam, Mike and Tina. One of the amazing things that happened was that Mercedes and Kurt got along really well with our new friends as well and that makes it even better because I'd hate to leave my old friends behind, and it's pretty amusing to see how they both fight to win the attention of Sam, totally worth watching.
"Yo! Don't forget to bring your old teddy bear so you can hug him while I beat your ass today!" – Puck says from the base of the ladder, which makes me look down and give him the finger. –"You just wait there and eat those chips, fatty. Santana Lopez is about to rule your world…. Whenever I find those fucking things" – I say barely whispering the last part.
"Whatever, I 'ma go get something to drink"
"PIG! Do something useful and ask my mom where my glasses are!" – I yell after him and start moving the boxes again, going through my old childhood memories and smiling when i find my first comic books and toys. "Even as a kid I had a great taste" – I say happily and dig around the place one more time, going through old clothes, magazines, an old skateboard and even an old trophy they gave me in third grade because of my effort in PE.
Yeah I know, totally lame.
I remember my mom was really happy because she said that it could be the beginning of a new part of my life and shit, which made my brother laugh his ass off and even my father let out a few chuckles because of what she was saying. I remember telling her that those were pity awards for the kids that suck at PE, but she waved me off and even took me to the park to have some ice cream and so I could play with a friend I used to hang out with at that time.
Anyhow, I can't believe my mom keeps all this crap, me and my dad always tell her to drop them or do something valuable with them like donating and giving away for people who really could use them, but she always says that she has a lot of memories buried around the house or that these things could be used sometime, like ten minutes ago when she told me "I told you so" when I asked where my old glasses were.
"Found something?" – Says Puck while entering the attic with two cans of Pepsi. "Your mom said they should be near your…. HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER THIS!" – He says almost throwing the drink to my hands and moving quickly so he was now facing some stack of magazines. He starts digging around them and picking one of them and even from my position behind him I can see the wicked grin he has when he starts going through the pages. "What is that?" – I ask while I open my drink and have a big swig of soda.
Hmmm, my favorite.
"This" – He starts saying but stops mid-sentence, turning the magazine upside down and turning his head to see in another position. "Damn" – he mutters and I start getting annoyed.
"Dude, wtf!" – I yell and grab the magazine form his hands, placing it on my lap and choking when I finally see what it is – "The hell are this things doing here! I thought you took those years ago!" – I hiss at him but can't avoid the amused smile on my face when he turns around with a guilty as charge look and a stupid grin on his lips.
"Oops… maybe I forgot?" – He starts laughing and I shake my head while returning the magazine to his hands. "I just hope my mom didn't thought they were mine"
"Lopez, you had a poster of a semi-naked girl behind your door for two years and you think your mom wouldn't think of you having playboy magazines?" – He utters and chuckles a little when I start blushing.
"AND, you are friends with me, so that had to be another clue, so..." – He says and winks at me.
"Whatever" – I mumble before he could say another thing – "Those have to go" – I say and point to the pile of old magazines. Don't get me wrong, when we bought them it was because of pure curiosity and wanting to get to know the beauty of the woman's body. Actually, most of them were from Puck but he also used to give them to me when he came to visit so he could laugh at my face and tease me because of it. At that time we had like 14 years old and Puck was the only one that knew about my doubts about my sexuality and of course, giving me those magazines was his brilliant idea to help me figure out if I really liked women.
It worked.
"And I would gladly accept them" – He says wiggling his eyebrows this time.
"Of course you would"
We start talking about nothing in particular while he helps me move and carry boxes from one side to another until I finally find that little black box with my old ninja turtle's glasses on top of a few books. I open them and sigh happily when I manage to see properly again with them on. "Finally, no more knocking things for me" – Puck smiles at me and before we can move and get our games started I look down one more time and see behind the box a little sketchbook with bright colors that catches my attention, making me move forward and grab it.
"C'mon San, I'm hungry!"
I roll my eyes at Puck and go through the ladder behind him, with my old glasses on and the little book that somehow made me get some really estrange feeling in my stomach, like nerves or anticipation to see what's inside of it. When we finally plop down on my bed, Puck starts eating the few things that we bought for today while i look at the book and open it to see a few random notes in the first page;
"Hey Sanny! I hope that this makes you remember me fuur eveer and don't forget about me. I really liked when you read to me, even if i didn't understand what you were saying most of the times, but I think that superpowers are super awesome and I also like your bike.
Oh! And I also like that we fed the duckies PB&J sandwiches and that you scared Azimio when he laughed at me.
I think what I'm trying to say is that I really, really like being with you and that I know that we'll always be friends because we are totally awesome together.
Don't forget about me Sanny, because I know I won't.
Britty.
P.S: Also, did I tell you that my mom bought me a new kitty? She said that I won't feel lonely with him, but don't worry San, he won't make me forget you and I promise you guys can be friends too when you meet him.
P.S: He's name is Lord Tubbington."
…
W-what?
I don't have time to think because my hands are hurriedly moving and going through all the pages of the little sketch book, watching as old pictures of little Santana and Brittany appear posing and making faces in front of the camera, smiling happily and hugging without leaving any space between them. After going from end to end of the book a few times and feeling as my heart starts pounding heavily against my ribcage, my eyes and hands stop at one picture in particular, the last one. The picture is by far the cutest of all of them and it shows both of us sitting in a bench in the park with Brittany kissing my cheek while I hold a paper bag full of bread that threatens to fall from my hands because of the evident surprise I had.
"Brittany" – I whisper to myself and move my hand so my fingers are pressing lightly on that place where Brittany's lips are in the photo and as soon as I do that I feel the wet traces of tears rolling down my cheeks.
All of this, this moment, this emotions, everything, I don't know what to think about it. I'm just… happy, and overwhelmed at the same time. This explains so many things, like why did I felt so comfortable around Brittany? Why did we clicked to easily? How could she know so easily that many things about me?
Why didn't she tell me?
My eyes wander back to first page and I focus my attention on one simple sentence: Don't forget about me Sanny, because I know I won't.
"Sanny" – I mumble again and feel myself smile a little.
Of course she knew, she was giving me all those hints from the beginning, it was me who didn't remember her. Or maybe I just didn't make the connection properly, it's been years after all and for me it was really hard to overcome that lost friendship. I always remember the feeling I got when she told me she was leaving, and until this day I always thought of her like the girl I lost and the first time I started feeling weird around someone, good weird.
I just never made the connection, it would have been too good to be true, but it is and that's why I sometimes felt like I was missing something while I was with Brittany.
"San?" – I hear Puck's worried voice and I look up to see his face full of concern while he makes his way around the bed so he's sitting next to me and hugs me tightly. "Hey, hey. What's going on?" – He says bringing a protecting arm around my shoulders.
"Who the fuck do I need to punch, cause' you know no one messes with my homegurl"
"It's nothing" – I say and beam back at him – "I just remembered something. C'mon, I still have to kick your ass, remember?" – I say after nuzzling my face into his neck and greeting happily his bear hug, which I love because he always is concerned about me and gives the best comforting hugs.
"You sure there, Lopez?" – He says still looking at me, but this time he has a little smirk forming on his face. "Ready to feel the strength of the Puckassaurus?"
"That sounded so dirty" – I say laughing and smile at him before moving and handing him over his PS3 controller.
"You know how I roll" – He says teasingly.
"We'll see, we'll see"
Even though I'm still a bit shocked about all this new information, the only thing I can think of is how awesome it is that even when we were little girls, we were destined to be together and Brittany new that… and I know it now. All the pieces fall together without any problem now, so as I play video games with Puck I start remembering the real and first history about my girlfriend Brittany, and I. Remembering is always a hard thing to do, especially if the things you want to reminisce are far away because you just blocked them to leave the pain or frustration of past experiences behind. It can hurt as hell but sometimes, it's necessary.
FLASHBACK
Two words. That was all it took for little 8 years old me to feel as if the world was crumbling into little pieces and leaving me behind to live in that mess; I'm moving. Those were the words Brittany had said two weeks ago in our casual meet up in the park.
Brittany was leaving, moving away to start a new life in New York.
Away from me, and i was too hurt to even try and enjoy the last few moments with her before she left.
"Ughh" – I grunt and turn around on my bed so know I'm looking at the ceiling as fresh tears are appearing on my swallowed eyes.
"Mija?" – I hear as my father, Matías, enters my room and sits on my bed – "Aren't you going to say goodbye, baby girl?"
"No!" – I cry and turn around so now I'm burying my face on my pillow – "Not fair!" – I mumble and cry my eyes out while my dad brings me near his chest so he can hug me while I keep sobbing and trying to get away from his hug so I can cry alone.
"Mija, how do you think Brittany will feel if you don't say goodbye to her?"
I finally stop moving so I can look up to him and sniffle a bit before answering. – "Bad… but daddy, I don't want to miss her, what if she already left?"
He smiles sweetly at me and watches his watch – "You still got time sweetie"
I start fumbling nervously with the hem of my shirt and bite my lip before hugging him quickly and making him chuckle because of my eagerness. I start moving quickly and go rushing down the stairs and out of the door as fast as my little legs can go. I grab my bike and start pedaling as fast as I can the 6 blocks between Brittany's house and mine.
As soon as I turn around a corner I see a moving truck and Brittany's family entering the car – "No- BRITT!" I start going faster by the second and extreme anxiety starts to build up inside me, making my stomach hurt and my eyes start to water again when the car starts to move and getting more ahead of me every time. Suddenly I see her, Brittany, she's in the back seat of her car and looking back at her house when her eyes widen at the sight of me trying to get near her and stop her from leaving. Everything starts to happen in slow motion, from watching her mouth move quickly and the car suddenly stopping in his tracks, to making me go faster even though they are not moving any more.
"San!" – She yells as soon as she exits her car. I stop and drop without any care my bicycle when I'm next to her and quickly bring her in for a huge and desperate hug. "I'm sorry!" – I cry and start sobbing again. – "I'm sorry for not saying goodbye sooner Britty, I'm sorry for not being a good friend"
She doesn't waste time in hugging me back and we are both sobbing now, holding into each other and with no intention to leave soon. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Sanny"
"Britt, honey, we have to go" – Her mom says from the car.
"I'm going to miss you"- I finally say and take a step back, chuckling sadly and looking up the see Brittany's face, which is crying as well but with an obvious hint of happiness and relieve.
"Me too- but… here, I made this for you" – She says and gives me a tiny book. "So you don't forget about me"
"I won't Britty, I swear" – I reply and she steps closer again and gives me a hug and a kiss on my cheek. "See you soon, okay?" – She whispers and smiles at me. After all the bad emotions I'm feeling I beam back at her and nod my head many times, trying to convey and let her know how happy I'm that I didn't missed the chance to see her one last time. I start waving as the car starts moving again and smile again when I see as little Brittany turns around on her seat and retrieves the gesture while I hold tightly against my chest the gift she gave me.
Puck left about an hour ago and as usual our time together was both funny and idiotic, but I love it anyway, it always helps me clear my head and just forget about the world, only this time my head couldn't stop thinking about what I just learned about me and Britt.
Until this day I always thought about my old friend as someone I lost and how shitty life can be, taking away that happiness and making me face the world by myself and maybe that's one of the reasons of why I never truly trusted anyone who wasn't mine or Puck's family, you can't assure that they will be here for you even if they promise they would, you can't be sure about it. That's why I was so devastated when I thought that my friend and first crush would never come back, because she promised that I'd see her again.
Luckily, life has funny ways of showing you those things that with time and experience will make you learn and grow up more each day, for example, by reminiscing old memories and helping you understand events from the present that you thought weren't important. I used to think that life liked to pull pranks on me and make me feel worthless, but that changed the moment I met Brittany, the first and second time I did. But when I lost her, even if I was just a little kid, I knew that it would be a big change for my life even if I just met her a few months ago, she was something else and helped me see life in a different way as the kids our age used to. And now, now it's even better. Even with not knowing, I had this feeling that Brittany was someone that would change my life forever, funny thing is that history repeats itself over and over again, and that's what's been happening with us from the beginning; we are meant to be, and even if destiny takes us apart, it will be itself who will bring us together again, just like now.
I feel the sound of my cellphone and I pick it up smiling to see a text message, which I quickly reply.
(22.36) Britt: Hey baby =) did you had fun today?
(22.36) TO, Britt: Hey! Yes it was really awesome, but I missed you more…
(22.38) Britt: I know, same here, but I'll see you tomorrow, right? :P
(22.38) TO, Britt: Yeah… kinda nervous for that one.
(22.38) TO, Britt: Maybe I'll need a kiss to make it better…
(22.39) Britt: Ha! Of course you would
(22.39) TO, Britt: Gotta have my sweet lady kisses ;)
(22.40) Britt: I would gladly give them to you, but I'm going to bed now. Shopping for Lord T was exhausting!
(22.41) TO, Britt: Ok, Britty… sweet dreams, I'll see you tomorrow :D xoxo
(22.41) Britt: Night… Sanny
So now, with a smile on my face and a warmth feeling passing from my heart to my whole body, I fall sleep to dream about blond hair, blue eyes and the beautiful promise of what there's to come for us.
Hey!
I don't really know what to think about this, so tell me what you think!
Again, thank you to my beta and everyone that always gives me great ideas!
REVIEW if you have any thoughts or anything you'll like to say!
Now, I'll try to update a new chapter next week, or at least something shorter like the text messages thing. I'm leaving on thursday and I'll be back on august 4, so I'll try to do my best! And for those who ask for larger chapters I actually don't have a lot of time with school and everything but I'd like to post a chapter by week so I prefer keeping the length of the chapters and being able to post almost every week.. so