When I woke that morning it felt like there was this toxic wave of nausea swept over my half naked body. The thought of being alone in that car with him was enough to make me catch my breath a little. I mean, sure I talk to Gerard on a daily basis, but damn.. I don't think I've ever been that close to him without Mikey.

As I brushed my teeth and ruffled my hair I looked at myself hard in the mirror. My skin was fair, a little darker now that the spring sunshine was starting to come out, i found myself rubbing my jaw which was a little more squared than I remember. I looked at the folded laugh lines around my mouth. My eyes were slightly creased at the outer corners, bags dark and heavy sat underneath the hazel of my eyes. My skin itself was looking older, I stroked my chin feeling a tiny stubble from my last shave. The feeling of manliness was extremely satisfying. Until I heard the knock on the door, to which my manliness shrieked like a little girl and hid away in a titanium box never to be seen again.

I brushed myself down and buttoned up my school trousers before answering the door. A small part of me prayed that Mikey would be up in time to come with us, but my mind quickly rejected the false hope and I told myself that it would never happen anyway. Sure enough, there stood Gerard in all his glory. One hand in his pocket and one hand waving 'good morning' at me. I couldn't quite take him seriously with that little dash of blue paint on his cheek. He looked like he hadn't slept at all last night, the bags under his eyes were even worse than mine. His porcelain white skin was dull looking. Those emerald eyes sunken, his iris was filled with a tired green and brown mixture that I had never really noticed before.

Even his eye colour was fluid. It could change as fast as Gerard did. This boy could look one way for a day then change completely the next. It was something his creative side done every now and then. He described it as "I am my canvas. I will portray myself however I see fit. I wouldn't want to paint the same picture everyday, I'd get bored looking at it. So why should I make other people look at the same boring thing over and over?"
I love how even something as simple as that can confuse me. I mean, I understand the analogy of the painting and himself and that shit. But I cannot for the life of me imagine what it would be like to live like that. As much as I would love to be extroverted and loud and bold... I'm not. I've never really tried, if I'm honest. But I'd probably fuck it up anyway. I've looked the exact same everyday for the past 5 year, I want to change, I just don't know how. I looked back at Gerard, he was wearing the same thing as yesterday.

"Ready to go?" he smiled as he looked over in the direction of the Silver Subaru Shitheap.

I just nodded, grabbed my books and headed for the car. A part of me was screaming to get the bus, the other part of me was anxiously dying to get into the small vehicle of intense 'school-girl-crush' awkwardness. As I went to climb into the back seat he laughed outwardly before saying "what? Do I smell so bad that you don't want to sit next to me?"
I blush at my first blunder of the day and clamber into the front passenger seat, my cheeks a hue of rosey pink already. He rolls down my window from his controls beside him, I glance over and he presses the back of his hand against my forehead.

"You are really warm, are you feeling okay?" he asks seeming really concerned- making my breath catch in my throat.

"Yeah, I'll be fine..." I look at my feet as I wiggle my toes in my shoes.
'say something!' I shout at myself in my head.
"So, uh- You look the same as yesterday?"
'Oh my fucking god, Frank. Why did you just say that? You can't say that to him he will take offence, you idiot.'

He scoffed a laugh and shook his head. "not much sleep last night, I was painting."

The car was suddenly filled with an awkward silence. He asked questions about life at home which I answer all one worded. I didn't want to sound like I wasn't interested, but it was difficult to talk to him, what was I supposed to say? I could tell he was out of things to say when he put his Misfits cassette into the ancient tape deck that was barely working by the looks of it. I watched him as he started singing along to Astro Zombies. God, his voice...

I don't know if I've mentioned, but Gerard can sing. And by sing, I mean sing! We both live in detached cottage type houses in your typical suburban neighbourhood. Our houses are beside one another, my bedroom window directly looks onto Gerard and Mikey's shared bedroom. Whenever Gerard isn't drawing in the basement/'art studio' he is in his room singing. He does this with the window open, and as soon as I see him enter the room I open my window.

Creepy, I know. But if you heard him you would understand.

Anyway, Gerard pauses for a minute before smiling a crooked smile my way.

"so, figured out what you are wearing to the party yet? It's only a few weeks away. I'm going as a vampire!" He revealed with the enthusiasm of a ten year old child. Of course he was going to be a vampire, he is fucking mad about the things. Any excuse to dress as one he will take. Me on the other hand, I just shrugged and mumbled to myself.

"I was going to go as a zombie, I think. I'm not sure, if I'm honest.." I sighed. My costume was going to be shit anyway, so no point getting excited about it. Gerard, on the other hand, he seemed very excited. Too excited infact! He went off on the same tangent Mikey did.

"night of the living dead style?!"

I couldn't tell wether the journey had been far to short or agonisingly long in the awkwardness but either way I was a little relieved once we reached the school. We were here really early and there weren't many people here. Gerard seen his friends and waved me off before heading in the opposite direction. And before I could stop myself-

"I'll see you later, Gee!" I shouted after him.
Oh my god. I just called him Gee... Did he notice? Only Mikey calls him that, it just sounds weird coming from me.

He turned his head to look over his shoulder and he smiled warmly.
"I'll see you later, Frankie!" His voice melting like honey.

...He called me Frankie.

Once I get out of my daze I look over to find Dan and Angel at their lockers and they seem to be in deep conversation. Danielle always looks so dazed and far away, god knows what's going on in that girls mind half of the time. But she's always in tune when it comes to Angel. Who, at the moment- seems to be having a crisis. I walked over to see what all the hullabaloo was about.

"- So not only are my shoes a totally different shade, my dress barley even covers my ass! Like, I paid $47 for this much material?! And that's not the worst of it, Stuart won't even- oh, hey Frankie!" Angel waved excitedly.

Danielle looked like she was still half asleep when she clocked Frankie. "why are you here so early?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I got a lift down, Gerard took me." I said a little too cheerily. My cheeks flushing as I notice how excited I sounded.

Angel's eyes rolled back into her skull as she groaned "oh my god! Could you imagine being in that car with him. He is actually so fucking, oh my god!" she exclaimed as she ran her hands through her hair. Danielle also blushed, but I doubt it was for the same reason.

I walked to my locker and stuffed my jacket and bag into it as normal. I decided to go and hand my homework in early to pass time before Mikey would stumble through the doors. Today was our last day in school before we stopped for our holidays.

It was April 1st, our school always starts spring break a little later. Most schools around here start around 25th of march. My parents are taking me on a trip to some little country house. Dad said I could take my acoustic as long as I don't play after 10 o'clock. I could guarantee that even with my guitar and cell phone it would be shit.