This is where the inspiration of those two songs come into play!
While I waited for midnight to come, I thought about Arthur and how I never noticed he was a star. He just seemed so... normal compared to Mattie. Then again, my memory of him was so worn from age, I couldn't really imagine him in my head anymore. All I had left to go on was his picture, and even that didn't seem quite right.
I looked down at the sleeping Matthew in my arms, his glowing figure letting me scribble freely in my journal. I sighed in a slight twinge of fear, the thought of Matthew being taken away from me making my chest ache in a pain I wouldn't want to live through again. I ran my fingers through his flowing hair.
The time passed slowly, but sure enough, midnight came. I wondered if Matthew would sleep past the time, missing his meeting with the cannibal-creeper Ivan, but right when the numbers on my clock changed to show a bright red 12:00, Matthew's eyes slid open and a gasp passed through his lips. I quickly shut my own eyes, feigning sleep while I felt Matthew stand. I heard his steps pace around the room for a short while, and I wondered if he would just come back to bed and stand sadistic Ivan up.
I heard his steps exit the room and go down the stairs, and I got up myself, being quiet and sneaky about it, slipping on my shoes and a jacket, then slipping downstairs to follow Matthew's trail outside. When I reached the cornfield, I took the quickest route I knew of, trying to be fast, but still trying to be quiet as I pushed past the stalks.
When I was able to see the patch of still growing Forget-Me-Nots, I stopped and waited. Matthew was standing at the edge of the circle he created, rubbing his arms slowly and staring down at the buds. I heard shuffling a few minutes later, and soon creeper-pervert Ivan arrived, emerging from the stalks with a kind of grace and stepping toward my Matthew. Matthew looked up at him and they made eye contact, then Matthew turned his head away and Ivan said something, but I couldn't hear.
I moved a little closer, then knelt so I wouldn't be seen, peeking through the stalks and watching the two.
Fucking asshole Ivan moved a hand forward, grazing the tips of his fingers against Matthew's cheek, getting a soft sigh from the boy.
"Why did you leave...?" Freak Ivan asked, sounding like a heartbroken puppy. Matthew didn't look up at him, keeping his glittering violets on the flora at his feet.
"I just couldn't..." Matthew left his sentence unfinished, but Ivan seemed to have understood it well.
"What is there to be scared of?" The snow-white haired freak asked next, stepping closer to my lover. Matthew didn't answer, and instead rose his head to the sky and asked, "Isn't it beautiful down here, Ivan? The sky seems so crowded... so warm..."
Gigantor lifted his own eyes to the sky, but didn't linger long on the twinkling stars that greeted him. He looked back down at Matthew, brushing a few pieces of hair from his face, only to have them flutter back into place.
"I see no beauty in a sky without my Matthew..."
Matthew looked at Ivan in surprise and I stared on with hate. Matthew continued staring and Ivan's own bright purple eyes darted between Matthew's then closed as he added "You are the only thing that sparkles for me. Everything else is hideous compared to you."
Matthew stared for a minute longer, then turned his head away again, taking a few steps away from Ivan and closer to me, folding his arms across his chest.
"How did you find me here...? It's impossible you simply stumbled upon me." Matthew questioned wearily, casting a glance at Ivan's shoes, the only part of the oversized man he seemed comfortable looking at.
"I followed your sound." Ivan answered simply, keeping his perverted eyes on Matthew's face, then frowning when Matthew turned his back on him. He went to a corn stalk and stroked the leaves, leaving Ivan to stand there and watch until he decided to advance and stand right behind him, their bodies not even touching, but a kind of intimacy radiating from the both of them fueled my hatred for the freak.
"Right when my feet touched the Earth, I heard this 'thump thump' in my ears. It was so relaxing and sweet, I knew it could only be you." He whispered, lifting a hand and letting it hover over the left side of Matthew's chest, closing his eyes serenely.
"I don't know what you mean." Matthew said softly, though it was obvious he was lying. Maniac Ivan seemed to pick up on that, too, since he opened his eyes and stared at the side of Matthew's face.
"But you can hear it, can't you? My heart... telling you how close or how far I was from you." He slowly pressed his hand against Matthew's chest, then whispered in his ear, "It's such a beautiful sound... How can you be so scared of it? Whenever I hear yours, I feel reassured. You're close to me, it says, and you'll be in my arms soon."
"But I won't be." Matthew sighed, pulling away from Ivan and walking until he was on the opposite side of the Forget-Me-Nots than him, "I came down here to escape from you."
Ivan watched him for a minute, then his eyes lowered to the not-yet-mature flowers.
"You felt incomplete. I understand that... Not the feeling, but the idea." He bends down slowly, stroking one of the buds with the side of his forefinger, "You came down here to find something, whatever it is I don't know, and I won't pry."
"Then why did you come after me?" Matthew asked quickly, crossing his arms again and narrowing his eyes, "I'm happy here. Much happier than I was up there. I love someone here."
Ivan glanced up at the last sentence, but it was a fleeting glance and he let out a tired sigh, "Matthew... I didn't come to force you to return with me. I came because I wanted to protect you, love you. If you're happy here..." He looked like it pained him to say the next sentence, but he forced it out with as much care as he could muster, "Then I am happy too. That is all I care about in the end..."
Matthew's arms slowly unfolded and he gave Ivan the most sympathetically pained look I've ever seen, but Ivan didn't see it. He plucked a bud from the ground and rolled the stem between his forefinger and thumb, making the bud break open and the pedals stretch out and grow, almost glittering.
"But Matthew... please remember you don't have long here..." Ivan warned, the flower in his fingers shining beautifully, then withering away in mere seconds, crumpling into itself and darkening.
"I landed not long ago. I think I have enough time." Matthew answered knowingly, but Ivan didn't look relieved.
"But how long do you think you've been falling...?" He asked, getting a confused set of eyes on him. Ivan sighed again, then dropped the dead flower and held out his arms for him, "If you ever need me..."
Matthew smiled a little and walked around the flowers, allowing Ivan to wrap his arms around him and, in return, wrapped his own arms around Ivan's neck, whispering a soft and meaningful, "I love you..." into his ear.
I was pissed.
I got up from where I was hiding and took off towards the house, still being sneaky so they wouldn't know I was eavesdropping. When I got back into the house, I went upstairs and turned on the lights, throwing a grade A temper tantrum and throwing anything and everything I could find, breaking things, hitting things, tearing things...
Then I heard the back door opened and I stopped, panting heavily and leaning against a wall, the wallpaper ripped from its place and hanging loosely. Almost everything had been knocked over or broken. One particular object that stood out to me was the crystal vase, the Forget-Me-Nots still living well in the clear water. I stepped towards the vase, brushing my fingers against the rim of it, then I heard the door open and a small gasp.
"Alfred, what happened?" Matthew questioned, running to my side and checking for any injuries. I tore away from him, then grabbed his wrist tightly and pulled him close, looking down into his eyes. They belong to me, I thought, his lips, too. Everything was mine!
"Don't leave me." I demanded in a low voice, and he looked shocked at the mere idea of it.
"Never, Alfred! I love you!" He tried reassuring me, but I just couldn't accept the way he said it to me compared to the way he said it to Ivan. I let go of him and turned back to the vase, staring at the Forget-Me-Nots and feeling the anger in me start to boil over. I kept thinking, Mine! He's all mine! No one else's! Mine mine mine!
"You don't love me..." I spat out, then I felt his small, gentle hands on my shoulders.
"Don't say that. I love you so much, Alfred." He whispered soothingly in my ear, but my anger just wouldn't be stopped. I already went through one loss, I didn't want another.
"Don't lie! The way you looked at him... The way you said it to him... Why are you playing with me?!" I shouted, but his hands didn't leave my shoulders.
"He... He is my soulmate, but I chose you. You are what I want." He said softly to me, then his lips touched my neck and I felt the anger seep out. My shoulders sagged and my head tipped to the side, all the tense muscles in my body relaxing and I had to sit on the bed to keep from falling. Matthew sat beside me, his hand never leaving my arm.
"Do you trust me?" He asked, and I nodded a little, getting a small smile and a gentle kiss from his lips. His hands went to my chest and he pushed me onto my back, moving his thin body over mine and kissing me again. I kissed back slowly, my hands moving onto his hips, then gripping him when he started grinding. I didn't question him. It seemed to be an inappropriate time, but it relaxed me like hell. I started working my hips with his and he sighed into my mouth.
When he sat up straight, he started lifting his shirt. His hips never stopped moving, and neither did mine. He edged my own shirt up and I lifted myself to let it slip off. His hands went to my pants next, and he smiled sweetly at me as he took me out and began pumping me. His face held all this innocence while he touched me, and it made me feel that much more heated. It didn't seem like he was going to use his body, but I was just as pleased with his hand.
When I started panting, he wiggled down my legs and bent down so his mouth slipped around the tip, his eyes staying on mine and his hand still moving. I stared down at him, putting a hand behind my head to help keep it propped up, then I started to slowly work my hips up, wanting to feel his mouth more. He didn't seem to mind, but he didn't move lower. Instead, he welcomed my slow thrusting and fondled my sack with his fingertips, using the lightest yet most pleasuring touches to bring me to my edge, and when I felt the urge swelling inside of me, he pulled off. I painted his face white and he gasped in surprise, eyes squeezing shut and shoulders tensing. When I had finished, he smiled at me again and licked his lips before he started wiping the rest away.
"Are you calm?" He asked me as he cleaned himself, and I nodded wordlessly. He smiled more and laid beside me.
"I love you." He whispered to me, but it was still lacking something. Something that was freely given to Ivan and not me. Something I found the darkest parts of me wanting to force out of Matthew, but I didn't move or speak about it. I just stared at the glowing boy beside me, barely noticing the sun peaking through the window or the small gathering of clouds in the sky.
He closed his eyes, but I kept watching him. I took in every little detail, then memorized them a second time. His j-curl had gotten longer, and now there was a small loop in it. I wanted to touch it, to pull on it and attempt to make it straight, but I didn't. I didn't move aside from breathing and blinking. I was too worried that I'd snap and grab him, shaking him hard until he gave me the something missing. I wanted it so bad. I wanted to hear it from him so, so bad.
"You won't leave me." I whispered, and he smiled a little with his eyes still closed. He blindly reached for my hand, squeezing it a little when he found it.
"I won't leave you." He replied gently, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.
It was in the afternoon when I noticed something was wrong with Matthew. He was sitting outside with his Forget-Me-Nots like usual, but his eyes were trained on the sky rather than the flowers. When I went out to sit with him, he barely greeted me and he kept staring. I tried to ask him what the matter was, but he didn't answer.
After a long time, Matthew came to me while I was cooking myself dinner and asked "Alfred... How far away are the stars?" He looked nervous and he was squeezing his left forefinger between his right thumb and pointer. I thought about it for a minute, trying to refer back to what school had taught me, then I shrugged and answered "Four-ish lightyears?"
He nodded a little, then asked "And how long does it take light to reach it?"
"Four-ish years. However many light years away it is, that's how long light takes to reach us." I explained, hoping my knowledge was correct. I didn't want to be passing on false information, so just to be safe, I added "At least, that's what I learned."
Matthew nodded again and kept twiddling his fingers, then he sat at the table and said "So, if a star is seventy light years away, it would take seventy years for its light to reach Earth?"
"Yeah, that should be right." I mumbled, turning back to my food and plating it. He made a small noise of understanding, then stood and went back outside, sitting down on the small patio there and watching the sky again. Honestly, seeing him like this just after his conversation with Ivan wasn't doing any good for my confidence of his love in me, so I took my dinner and joined him outside, eating the chicken first. He kept his eyes on the sky, but he started the conversation I didn't expect to have.
"You love me, right?" He asked in a whisper, and I nodded immediately.
"Course I do. You're beautiful and amazing." I added without needing to, but I felt good when he smiled at the compliments. After a short silence, I asked in return "Do you love me?"
He nodded quickly, "Yes, of course, Alfred. I stayed with you, didn't I? And you... You've given me so much more than I could have hoped for... Thank you." He leaned over and kissed me, but something felt off. His hands weren't as warm as before and his lips felt a little dry against my cheek. I briefly wondered if stars could get sick, but I didn't get a chance to ask when Matthew stood and said "I think I'm going to walk through the corn field for some time. I'll be back before you sleep."
And just like that, he was gone. I finished my dinner in solitude, then went back into the house to clean up after myself. It was strange, having the house empty like this. I had gotten so used to his light and his voice and just the thought that he was in the house with me that when I had finished putting the clean dish away, I felt extremely alone. I wanted to go out and find him, maybe walk with him for a little, but I didn't want to interrupt his thinking.
I had exited the kitchen and sat in Arthur's chair in the lounge, fingering the worn fabrics of the armchair as I thought. I felt this ache in my chest I was sure was due to the fact that I still hadn't gotten over the fact that Ivan and Matthew were 'soul mates' or some crap like that.
Arthur, when are you going to come home? You were always giving good advice, so where are you now? I wonder if you're really far... up in the sky...
What was it like living here when you were a star? Did people hunt you down like in the stories? Did your 'soul mate' come down to fetch you like Ivan with Matthew? What would you do?
I rested my head against the back of the chair when I wasn't answered and my eyes slid shut. I love Matthew, I really do, but is he mine to keep?
I opened my eyes, feeling a strange sensation of selfishness bloom in the pit of my stomach.
Of course he's mine to keep, I thought, He chose me, after all, not that ten-ton gigantor of a star. And to be fair, I've lost just as much as that albino-freak! Our parents are dead and we were abandoned by the person we trusted... But he got to live for forever! So I deserve my fair share of happiness, right?
... Right?!
Alfred F. Jones